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Reviews
Galaxy Warriors (2022)
A Lo-fi Space Odyssey with Heart
In spite of flinging itself wholeheartedly into the realm of cinematic catastrophe, "Galaxy Warriors" is an unexpected delight. To call this low-budget movie a "gem" is perhaps a misnomer, but calling it a delightful, radioactive space rock of a film seems rather apt.
The grainy special effects are presented with such a relentless consistency that they abruptly transform from laughable to endearingly nostalgic. The minimal '80s analog synth score adds to the presentation.
What struck me most was the sheer commitment on display here. For a piece so utterly "bad", there's a commendable effort required to translate that into reality. The compelling homemade basement set pieces, complete with their DIY charm, remind us of the sheer joy of storytelling and play acting, unburdened by budget constraints or Hollywood gloss. The story merely serving as a thread to string together the pleasingly bad, campy set pieces.
In an era where most bad films are too bad to be even ironically enjoyed, "Galaxy Warriors" has become somewhat of an unexpected underdog.
Ava (2020)
1 part femme fatale action-thrillers. 2 parts Hallmark drama. Serve chilled.
To be able to suspend your disbelief for these types of movies, a certain amount of flair and style is required. Ava does not deliver. Watch Red Sparrow, Salt, Atomic Blonde, or Salt instead.
In this case, the characters, situations, and their organizations are not at all believable and the film lacks in the style and wit that would otherwise help carry it.
Otherwise competent actors such as Chastain, Farrell, Malkovich, and Davis meander in the pastiche.
The closing narration followed the edgy synth breakbeats of the end title was a welcome reprieve.
That doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable in its own way, and surely work and effort was put it, but the sum of the parts are below-average.
Vice (2015)
In the future... where trash cans burn eternal.
The movie has a weird retro vibe. For a while you actually believe that the whole thing is a Total Recall-esque 'simulation', and that soon, you will awaken into the 'real' movie. That is not to be. Instead...
Come and see the amazing sights and sounds of Vice! See the well-worn clichés of other movies play in front of your eyes. Witness a future where people drive cars from our time. Experience the thrill-ride through dimly lit sets, parking lots and abandoned offices. Relive the 90s through authentic greasy hair emulation and cop mellow drama.
Even with these marvels, it is a let down. Very little of the Vice theme park is shown in movie. It is mostly seen in the shadows. From what I gather it is a mixture of hotel-lobby meets Miami nightclub.
This movie must be a tax right off for some corporate shell company. I can't see how it would be green lit otherwise.
It is movies like Vice that will allow future generations to have a laugh at our expense. Enjoy this one with friends and beer.
White House Down (2013)
Incredible Action Movie Craptacular
Roland Emmerich is clearly enjoying himself a little too much for comfort with this incredibly over-cooked action movie. Get set to enjoy a tour-de-force pastiche of impossible baddies, explosions, CGI helicopter sequences, merciless killing, comic relief jokes, tender moments, and over-the-top heroism.
It's these kind of films that inspire lesser production houses like The Asylum to create their own minor masterpieces such as Sharknado and soon to be released Sharknado 2
Ultimately, this movie is a soggy, though enjoyable, lasagna of early action movies from the '80s and '90s, like Die Hard, Lethal Weapon and Independence Day. Best served with a side of James Woods.
Oblivion (2013)
The sky lounge - the only redeeming quality in this movie.
Hey look, I'm glad that you liked it. I can understand why some might, but for some us this movie is not very good.
If you haven't been exposed to the many common Hollywood and sci-fi movie tropes that are in this movie, it might come across as novel or original.
The movie tries so so hard to be many things. Its ruined by being so obvious, predictable, and too long.
Stuff I liked (major spoilers) The Tet, has given its clones decked out space lounges in the sky, complete with pool and lattes. The Tet has some architectural design cred, how evil could it possibly be? You have Morgan Freeman, being the same quasi-presidential-leader he's been typecast in since that meteor movie. Its almost just a giveaway having him on the cast.
The puppy - yes this movie has a poor dog that gets tazed. Its always puppies, never some street cat.
Americana galore - you'll be given a tour of American landmarks conveniently placed throughout the film. You'll even take pit-stop and chill at lakeside cabin and listen to ol' records! Might as well have had him open up a fridge of Budd.
The children, saved as an emotional contrivance for the end.
Drones, and more drones - fairly easy to render CGI drones that are none-too-bright.
Clones and more clones. Why does the Tet not just make androids to do its bidding, why bother with fallible humans? Oh and the score has some huge bass drops, and is just way over the top, but not in a good way.
I found this movie to be an odd mix of Moon, Total Recall (old and new), Portal (videogame), Mass Effect (design and music), and Terminator. The problem is all of these are better standalone.
There was potential here, it was just over-cooked.
Avatar (2009)
A simple story rendered with almost hallucinatory precision.
Special Effects / Artistry - 10/10 Acting - 9/10 Script - 5/10 Story - 6/10 Score - 7/10 Foley - 10/10
As a creative and technical achievement, this movie is the new benchmark of special effects and immersion. The story is simplistic, and often predictable, serving as a plot device to take you on a ride so the fantastical world of Avatar can be shown off.
For the first time, the CGI organic elements - creatures, plants, Na'vi, humans - look better than the mechanical elements. The movements, inflections, detail, and sounds infuse these alien lifeforms with life.
However, without the 'wow' factor of special effects, it would not be a great film as the story on its own is simplistic if not cliché.
Of James Cameron's films, I would still say that 'Aliens' is my favorite. A darker, but still iconic film, its 'Na'vi' not so sympathetic.
We are moving towards a future world where dreams are turned into visceral reality.
After watching this film, you will understand what it is like to leave your Avatar.
Terminator Salvation (2009)
Garbage cans are always on fire in the future.
I was hyped after seeing the theatrical trailer. Finally, we were going to see the war against the machines.
I just got back from the pre-screening. Unfortunately, T4 was disappointing from the weak title sequence. Essentially the movie contains lots of explosions, a sprinkling of gobots and plenty of scenes that just seem - unbelievable (without the wonder).
Sam Worthington does a good job with his role as Marcus, Nicolas Cage (or was it Tom Cruise) is angry as John Connor, and Michael Ironside is resolute as Michael Ironside from Total Recall.
Here's my Terminator 4 'Homestyle' Recipe:
1/4 Cup - Blackhawk Down soldiering scenes, 5grams - Road Warrior car battles, 2oz - Matrix harvesting robots, 1turd - Transformers (sans Megan Fox), 1gram - Resident Evil evil, 1fist - Mission Impossible impossibles.
Stir together, add some average extras, a cute kid and a really uninspired score from the talented Danny Elfman then bake for 2hours.
The only thing this movie is missing is a scene where a T-600 mows down a puppy with a Gatling gun, just so we know they are totally bad-ass.
Actually, the T-600 are totally bad-ass, plus surprisingly stupid. They bring all the joy from every minigun experience you've always wanted. A nice homage to modern games such as Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Team Fortress 2, and countless others where gamers fixate on spending endless rounds of ammo without hitting anything.
If you enjoyed Matrix 2 and 3, the last Batman, Gears of War, Call of Duty: Modern Combat (great game BTW, way more involving story than this movie), and Cheetohs you just might like this.
Makes you really appreciate classics like Terminator 2, Aliens, and Bladerunner. Those movies have mood, pacing, great use of effects, and vision.
28 Weeks Later (2007)
This movie is not Anti-Anything. This is Nature
28 Weeks Later, perhaps more than 28 Days Later is a reflection on nature. As an audience we are horrified yet entertained by violence, but more than anything - we are in fear - as at the heart of it, the reason and origin for our violent tendencies is unknown.
Perhaps I may be alone in seeing it from this perspective but as I see it this movie is not 'Anti-War' or 'Anti-American'.
One could see the 'rage virus' as a metaphor for violence, hatred, misunderstanding, war, etc.
But perhaps it is just that - a virus. a part of nature. something we have no control over, something we don't understand, something we fear.
28 Weeks Later proves there are still a few scares left.
Minority Report (2002)
Lexus Report, or was it GAP Report? Either way, pass the "Sick Sticks".
Not typically a fan of Spielberg or Hollywood Fare I was actually excited to see this movie. Unfortunately I didn't have a enough precog to suspect the worse.
The movie begins well enough and is quite promising. There are some terrific visuals and action sequences along with a classic sci-fi story. But something is amiss, this IS NOT A FILM, NOT A MOVIE, BUT A COMMERCIAL!!!
Sure the year of 2054 may be rich in media, but after a while the movie so blatantly advertises products (such as panning and zooming to the Lexus logo on the car, Guinness commercials, a stop off at the GAP to get some clothes and many more!) that this movie borders on fraud. There is simply no excuse for this flood of commercial advertising in the movie. Brands could have been made up to spare us this pain... Even the show COPs is shown in one scene with it's little jingle in the background. None of these ads - of which there are many - serve to enrich or support this movie. In all essence, you are pulled away from the future and into the present. It is a sad day when even the nation's critics rally to Spielberg's side and not point out the most obvious, glaring, and detracting aspect of this movie.
As far as acting goes, Cruise play his standard fair, and there are a few good moments.
Regardless, Minority Report is just a sell-out platform for a majority audience.
Black Hawk Down (2001)
Engrossing, unbalanced and insensitive.
This movie is worth seeing from a historical context. This movie is based on an actual event and takes some cinematic liberty to fill in some of the blanks. Let's face it, this is not a "re-enacting" of the event - this is a movie. The actual event says as much as you need to know and to make your own conclusions about war and humanity. Hell, there's a countless number of hopeless and bloody battles raging all the time. A movie - as art - can transcend historical context and give us a new insight. Unfortunately, Black Hawk Down is rather one-dimensional. Considering that around 1000 Somolians were killed, this movie portrays little of their experiences save their bodies being torn apart by bullets and grenades. This is insensitive, but alas, this is war and - Hollywood. This movie succeeds in delivering the white knuckled combat action sought by combat deprived American males, it does not offer much in the way of acting. Some of the dramatic scenes seem contrived and out of place. Though based on real events and even real dialogue, the presentation of these parts reeks of Hollywood. It is the intense hyper-realism of the battle scenes that make some of the scripted scenes seem so out of place. So you want it real then? Okay, how about shut off the silly American patriotic sound track then. Or how about a scene showing Master Sgt. Gary Gordon body dragged through the streets of the Mog. After all that is what happened. But I digress, it might not be entertaining! No, but it would be respectful. This is that man's last hour, that is how he died, why not tell us. An event such as tragic as this shouldn't be entertainment for our popcorn, CNN fueled society. I think we can all agree that after Sept. 11th it just isn't 'fun' anymore. Let us remember then.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
OMG!!!!! The best movie ever known to man!- mb.
This message board is so filled with holy praise and worship of this movie that critics dare not tread.
There is no question that this movie is not epic. For many this movie is probably the best movie they've ever seen but that does not necessarily equate to the best movie of all time. For an adventure/fantasy-action movie it is superlative. There are many fine moments, and in particular Ian McKellen as Gandalf carries most of them. Frodo, Gandalf, and Bilbo had the most developed characters. The orcs, wraiths and other monsters of this movie had particular attention and were convincingly evil. The movie is a perfect blend of action, adventure and 'fellowship'. However, it may be a matter of taste, yet I felt that this movie had more hype than depth. Having read some of Tolkien's works there is restraint in his delivery and it is this restraint that needed to be wielded rather than swords and enraged dwarves. It is in the scenes that the unrelenting score and action pipes down that we can look into the characters and empathize with them. I am by no means qualified to ascertain whether this movie could have been edited better, but I would be curious to see what hit the cutting room floor and what the movie might have been had it been edited differently.
Without doubt, this is a Peter Jackson movie, and for those that have scene his other films, will recognize the cadence, editing style, and malicious evil. Though his other films are on a different scale entirely they have an odd charm (my favorite being Dead Alive watch the unedited version only). There were a few moments in LOTR pt1 that I almost felt a Karate Priest (ref. Dead Alive) to kick down a door and start kickin butt (mb Jackson restrained himself from doing so!).
I digress, this movie is kick-ass and is the kingpin of Saturday matinee. Thankfully there are no cuddly orc babies, no Jar Jars (though we have our slapstick), no Ewoks. But PLEASE! it is not the best movie of all time?! I will wait patiently to see the remaining two films to fairly judge this work.