fdt-07813 Reviews

The Last House on Cemetery Lane (2015)

I've seen better and I've seen worse

[5/10 · 20 December 2022]

Contrary to the apparent popular opinion here, I found the movie worth watching, although I would certainly not bother watching it again. Yes, one could probably find many faults with this movie, especially if you are a hardcore horror fan. As for me, I prefer a good story and atmosphere over blood and gore; and I prefer subtlety and suggestion over screaming violins and deformed, rotting faces popping out behind every corner; which may go some way in explaining why this film wasn't too bad in my opinion.

Now, as a rule, I try not to get drawn into responding to other reviews on here; but for once I will make an exception: It concerns a reviewer describing the film as a "Christian horror" and then effectively using their whole review as an opportunity for launching a thinly veiled attack on Christianity. Considering the reviewer's assessment in context of what Agnes is saying to John towards the end of their conversation, this film can hardly be regarded as "conveying a Christian message". Also, I'm quite sure that no one has "shoved this movie down your throat" - or anybody else's, for that matter. You chose to watch it (to the end it would seem), and you could just as easily have chosen to stop watching at any point. So, rather leave the attacks for a different time & place - they succeed in nothing more than conveying a certain degree of hostility and ignorance.

New World Order (2002)

What a bunch of garbage

[1/10 · 29 November 2022]

I had high hopes for this movie but those were dashed within minutes. Still I persevered against my own better judgement.

The "plot" could at best be described as jack of all trades, master of none. It's as if the creators tried to construct a grand unified theory of all the conspiracy theories out there, but all their efforts not only led to a dead-end, but to a dead-end terminating in a brick wall more substantial than the pyramids naturally featuring in a movie such as this - and oh boy, how hard and awful was the way they crashed into this brick wall. In the end it is just a senseless and incoherent lot of garbage.

The acting (or rather lack thereof) does nothing to improve matters. The main character especially comes across as stoic, distant, and unnatural.

I can think of far more pleasant things I could have done rather than watch this rubbish - such as blowing my leg off with a shotgun.

Marple (2004–2013)

A mockery of the original

[1/10 · 31 October 2022]

I watched this after having seen the 1980's series with Joan Hickson, that remained largely true to the original stories, and is well worth watching not only for the plot, but also for Ms. Hickson's portrayal of the main character.

But in the case of this series It would seem that the script writers used the following simple template for generating every single episode of this garbage: 1. Mangle and water down the original plot & characters beyond recognition.

2. Select 2 female characters from the original, or introduce 1 or 2 new ones, and make sure that they are in a lesbian relationship.

3. If any script writer is afflicted by a bout of inspiration or a desire to stay true to the original, banish the thought and follow steps 1 & 2 above.

Spirits in the Dark (2020)

A waste of time

[1/10 · 5 June 2022]

Watching this movie is like listening to a politician rambling on and on and taking 70 minutes to say what could have been said in 7. Pointless and endless scenes of rummaging through an abandoned building with nothing actually happening; I found that the biggest horror related to this movie is a wasted 70 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

My Partner the Ghost (1969–1971)

Not bad, but ...

[4/10 · 3 April 2022]

I have mixed feelings about this show. Some episodes were brilliant, others very much less so.

The series started off very well and most of the earlier episodes were very entertaining with quite a bit of comedy thrown in, and some very absurd, weird, and even likeable villains. However, as the show progressed, it seemed to take a darker turn: less comedy and more brutal bad guys.

(I have noticed another reviewer saying the exact opposite - perhaps the version I watched, which followed the episode sequence listed here on IMDB, had the episodes in a different order?)

I also got the impression that the writers started running out of ideas: episodes became somewhat repetitive and an actual chore to watch. I persevered but ultimately I was glad to see the end of it - and perhaps this is one of the reasons that no further episodes were made.

As far as the acting is concerned, I think Mike Pratt was brilliant as Jeff Randall; however, I found Marty the ghost, as well as his widow Jean, somewhat annoying - not necessarily due to bad acting, but rather the blandness and gullibility of the characters themselves.

Among the guest/recurring cast I want to single out Judith Arthy appearing in two episodes as Jean's sister Jennifer: I think she was brilliant and gorgeous - would really have liked to have seen her in more episodes.

In summary then, a bit of a roller-coaster ride, with some episodes which I will not easily forget, but most of them I do not care to remember. Like a minority of reviews here, perhaps mine seems unnecessarily harsh, but as one of those reviewers pointed out, I haven't seen this series as a child either, so there is no nostalgia factor - which may go some way in accounting for the differences in opinion.

The Omega Factor (1979)

What a disappointment

[3/10 · 10 February 2022]

I had high hopes for this series at the start, but those hopes got a knock with every episode so that I was glad, or rather relieved, when I had finished watching the series (yes, I'm a sucker for punishment).

To me the main problem is that an excellent premise had been ruined by poor execution. I can't remember when last I've seen a series lacking continuity to the extent that this one does.

Several episodes end on a cliff-hanger with nothing to tie it to later episodes (except perhaps the odd brief reference to earlier events). It is like some Deus Ex Machina did its thing between episodes: unseen, unheard, and generally more secretive than the Omega organization itself.

And the two main characters do nothing to improve this sad state of affairs: Anne is so meek and mellow it almost makes one cry, while Tom really is a bit of a knob. So I found it almost impossible to relate to either.