TalesfromTheCryptfan Reviews

The People Under the Stairs (1991)

One of my favorite Wes Craven movies

[8/10 · 22 May 2018]

In an L.A. Neighborhood, 13 year old boy named Fool (Brandon Adams) has problems as he just turn 13 and has a dying mother, there the landlords want to kick him and his family out. Leroy (Ving Rhames) who is a family friend wants to help Fool break into the wealthy greedy landlords (Everett McGille and Wendy Robie) where a fortune of gold coins is rumored to be inside the house. Yet what they discover once inside the house is terror like the dog that would attack them to finding out that they kidnapped and tortured boys to put them in the cellar like animals who are turned into deformed creatures. Fool must find a way to get out of the house with the help of the adopted daughter of the couple named Alice (AJ Linder).

Very entertaining, unsual and well made horror comedy thriller from Wes Craven is one of his finest films. He was inspired to write this film after reading a real-life news story about burglars breaking into a house. When authorities arrived, the burglars had disappeared but they discovered locked doors with noises coming from behind. Children had been locked up inside the rooms by their parents, never allowed to go outside. This movie deals with the themes of incest since the evil couple in this movie are siblings and cannibalism thrown into it along with the themes of abuse and all.

Wes's direction is quite fine for this movie and i like how suspensful and thrilling this movie is including about the screwed up darkside of some neighborhoods especially the Robeson couple being an incestious one who likes to kidnap young males to torture them even cut off their tounges or eyes or ears for speak no evil hear no evil or see no evil which is quite messed up subject matter. The performance by the lead kid who plays Fool is quite likable and does a solid job as this is one of the rare horror movies that has a kid for a lead and i like that aspect of it. The couple from Twin Peaks in this movie does a solid job as the psycho mother and father, you actually despise the evil characters in this movie and want them to die because they are totally despicable pieces of inhuman monster crap. Sean Whalen did a great job playing Roach the mute deformed young man in this movie who helps Fool.

Saw this in theaters as a kid and enjoyed it, this movie became a hit and a cult fave that influenced many films even the recent Resident Evil 7 as one of it's influences. Recommended if you want something fun.

Similar movies recommended: "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)", "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2", "Leatherface Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning", "The Burbs", "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003", "Flowers in The Attic", "House by The Cemetery", "House (1986)", "Fright Night", "Day of the Dead", "Basket Case", "Motel Hell", "Mother's Day (1980)", "Isand of Lost Souls (1932)", "House of 1000 Corpses", "The Devil's Rejects", "Hellraiser", "Crawlspace", "The Unseen".

Executive Decision (1996)

One disappointing actioner!

[5/10 · 5 December 2017]

On a flight from Athens Greece to Washington DC, it seems Islamic terrorists lead by Nagi Hassan (David Suchet) who carries stolen soviet tanks of a deadly gas that can take out the eastside of the US. Intelligence expert David Grant (Kurt Russell) suspects they are using the 747 to smuggle the deadly gas into the United States, where they intend to use it to wipe out Washington D.C. and possibly the entire East Coast. He believes the plane should not be allowed to enter U.S. airspace and decides to have a special team lead by Lt. Colonel Austin Travis (Steven Sagall) with troopers like Rat (John Leguizomo), Cappy (Joe Morton), Louie (BD Wong) and more who have to defuse a bomb and overpower the terrorists.

One of the most disappointing action films ever! with a script by Predator writers Jim and James Thomas you would expect to be a quality actioner even with a solid cast like what i mentioned to Halle Berry, Oliver Platt, JT Walsh (who would be in the next year's even better JT Walsh/Russell movie Breakdown), Charles Halahon, Richard Riehel and more you except to be a decent actioner or a good one. But sadly, it's none of those things as it's an overlong, poorly paced and not well written excuse for an action thriller when it's just a bore of a movie.

Sagall was only in the film for 30 minutes then gets killed off when he should had been in the rest of the movie as Sagall and Russell would had made a good team. It starts off action packed with some stabbings and neck slicing/shootings but after that it gets to yet another hour of waiting for solid action, all it is when they get on the plan they are taking an hour to plans of attacks even to spy on and Russell barely does nothing when he should be fighting the enemies. Jerry Goldsmith's score was generic and he is my fave composer and the script is poor at best, the director's direction was flat at best.

Joel Siegel said "If you like action adventure, this is the ticket" says Joel Siegel and "Faster than Speed and more fun than Broken Arrow" says Newshouse Newspapers, yeh right, this is the ticket to sleep and Speed/Broken Arrow are superior to this 2 hour borefeast. Even Air Force One, Die Hard 2, Con Air and more plane actioners even Passenger 57 are way better than this dud. Great ideas are wasted on this lackluster actioner that lacks thrills and suspense.

Ben (1972)

Decent sequel

[7/10 · 5 December 2017]

After the events of the original movie "Willard" and after Willard's demise by Ben and his horde of killer rats, they have escaped from his house and Detective Cliff Kirtland (Joseph Campenella) is investigating the murders. A lonely disabled with a weak heart condition boy named A Danny Garrison (Lee Montgomery) befriends Ben and keeps it as a pet. Yet sometimes the rat would go out to lead it's friends to attack people in the city as it's up to the detective to stop the rats.

A fairly decent sequel to the 1971 shocker Willard which was a surprise box-office hit which made Bing Crosby Productions and Cinerama greenlite a sequel. The film co-stars Tobey Kenneth and Meredith Baxter Birney, it's a story of a boy and his rat with some gritty dark edge thrown into it and the theme song by Michael Jackson which was nominated for best song of 1972 at the academy awards. The film is a twist on man vs rats with the Lassie style boy and his pet rat kind of thing with some shocks and all as the boy in the movie even uses the rats to attack some bullies who pick on him.

Westworld (1973)

Excellent Sci-fi thriller!

[8/10 · 4 December 2017]

In the year 1983, a futuristic high tech and realistic amusement park resort for rich and wealthy adults called Delos which consists of three lands for guests to stay like Roman World where guests can live out the days of the roman empire, Medieval World where you can relive medieval Europe and Westworld where you can live out being in 1885 in the days of cowboys. Two fellows named Peter Martin (Richard Benjamin) and John Blain (James Brolin) are on their way to Delos on a transporter, this is Peter's first time at Delos while this is the second time for John decide to head to Westworld. They actually live out their fantasies for real with realistic androids who are programmed not to harm the costumers and the guns and weapons are only meant for killing other robots as the guns don't shoot at anything warm blooded but only somethings like robots or machines or objects. The robots are there to help serve costumers even cook for them, help live out sexual fantasies and all that sort of thing especially do bar brawls even do shoot- outs with a pesky gunslinger (Yul Branner). Soon, the technology goes haywire when the robots are infected by an early computer virus and are killing off some of the guests as only John and Peter must try to survive this even with that Gunslinger they fought many times that is after them.

Highly entertaining, edge of your seat and quite original 1973 science fiction thriller western action film written and directed by Michael Crichton the legendary book author and creator of Jurassic Park and this movie predates Jurassic Park years later. The first use of computer digitized images as part of a feature film (not merely monitor graphics) was the Gunslinger's point of view in Westworld. After the process was finally developed enough to produce satisfactory results, it took a mere eight hours to produce each ten seconds of footage for the Gunslinger's pixelated POV. Michael Crichton became inspired to write this film after a trip to Disneyland, where he saw the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and was impressed by the animatronic characters. Thus he wrote the script for the film and decided to direct the movie himself in control of the production, the set for Westworld was also used for Blazing Saddles which would be released a year later. Alan Oppenheimer co- stars in this movie as well as Dick Van Patten, Critchton re-edited the first cut of the movie because he found it long and boring it was. The deleted scenes include: the bank robbery and sales room sequences, hovercraft with passengers flying above the desert in the beginning, additional and longer dialogue scenes, more scenes with robots going crazy and killing guests (including a scene in which a guest is tied down to a rack and killed when his arms are pulled out), a longer chase scene with Gunslinger chasing Peter, and Gunslinger cleaning his face with water after Peter throws acid on him. Crichton's assembly cut also had a different ending, which included a fight between Gunslinger and Peter (deleted because it seemed staged and foolish), and an alternate death scene in which Gunslinger was killed with the same rack used to kill one of the guests.

This movie was critically received and was a hit in theaters thus it spawned a sequel, a failed TV show pilot and a successful HBO series. It influenced many filmmakers like John Carpenter whom Michael Myers's character was influenced by the gunslinger from this movie and James Cameron whom is a fan of this movie was inspired by Westworld for his Terminator character. The film does have great performances, a nice pacing to it with a couple of slow moments, some action was it was quite violent for a PG-rated film and not to mention thrills abound.

I saw this on video when i was 10 and thought it was a great Sci-fi movie as i've been a Sci-fi/fantasy nut all my life and been one of my fave Sci-fi movies. Not to mention it predates Jurassic Park with the theme park gone wrong theme by the same creator.

Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)

A quality animated fantasy classic!

[9/10 · 3 December 2017]

In the year 1960 in a European city that is not named in an alternate world where WWI and WWII never happened, a 13 year old witch named Kiki (voiced by Minami Takayama in the Japanese version and Kirsten Dunst in the US dub) has left her home to train for her special skills as it's a tradition that every witch who is 13 years old must go out on their own for special training even in magic skills. Kiki with her faithful talking pet cat Jiji (voiced by Rei Sakuma in the Japanese version and Phil Hartman in the US dub) take shelter in a bakery/house owned by a married couple who owns the bakery named Osono (voiced by Keido Toda in the Japanese version and Tress Macneille in the US dub) and Fuoko (voiced by Koichi Yamadera in the Japanese version and Brad Garret in the US dub) in the attic of their house. She decides to set up a high-flying delivery service in delivering stuff to people. She must do everything into become a full fledged witch and earn responsibility even gaining friendship to find her place in the world.

A very entertaining, well written and dazzling 1989 animated fantasy-drama from famous Japanese animation filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki whom is one of the most gifted filmmakers/storytellers in animation, graphic novel and motion picture history. Based on a novel by Eiko Kandano, Miyazaki adapts the story for the big screen and was a box-office hit in it's native country in 1989 and earning critical acclaim. It came to the US in 1998 by Buena Vista Home Entertainment with the voices of Kirstein Dunst, Phil Hartman, Debbie Reynolds, Kath Soucie, Matthew Lawrence and Janeane Garofalo and was a success on the home video market in the US and one of the movies that made anime mainstream just like Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Ninja Scroll and more and was the third time a Miyazaki movie came to the US. First it was Nausicaa in a butchered cut called Warriors of the Wind in 1985 then Castle of Cogliostro by Streamline in 1991 then My Neighbor Totoro in 1993 by Troma/Fox.

I first saw this in 98 when i was a teen and been one of my fave anime movies since and it's a delightful, funny, sweet and charming motion picture that appeals to both genders and all ages. I like how there's no villain or bad guy for this one which is quite refreshing for a Ghibli film with Totoro, it's a story about gaining independence and learning that friendship can be a nice thing. The animation is purely stunning in it's 2D glory and voice acting is very nice in the Japanese version, the dub is decent yet Matthew Lawrence as Tombo the boy who falls for Kiki sounds kind of older. Yet the dub is one of Phil Hartman's last roles before his untimely death, RIP poor Hartman but he did a nice voice performance as Jiji in the US version.

Joe Hisahi's score is totally magnificent and has a charm to it even the feel of the movie is one of those feel good movies that makes you warm inside at the end and the characters are likable especially Tombo to Kiki.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

A brilliant third installment!

[10/10 · 3 December 2017]

Andy (John Morris) is now 17 in 2010 and he has graduated from high school as he is off to college, his toys known as Woody (Voiced by Tom Hanks) with Buzz (Voiced by Tim Allen) as well as Jessie (voiced by Joan Cusack), Slinky Dog (Blake Clarke), Bullseye, Hamm (John Ratzenberger), Mr. Potatohead (in one of Don Rickle's final roles), Rex (voiced by Wallace Shawn) and Mrs. Potatohead (Estelle Harris) were suppose to be put in the attic but was mistaken as trash by Andy's mom (Laura Metcliff) yet luckily they escaped out of the trash bag before the truck would pick them up. However as Andy's mom is delivering some stuff to donate to one of the city's local daycare centers, the toys see other toys in the daycare like the butterfly room being taken good care of. However a strawberry- scented grandfatherly and charismatic teddy bear named Lotso (voiced by Ned Betty) who seems like a nice guy to treat all toys as equals has assigned our toy heroes to be in the toddler room where they are abused and sticky as the toddlers are too young for the toys to be played with. Yet Lotso with his baby doll assistant are keeping our fellow toys minus Woody whom escaped luckily as prisoner. So now Woody has to rescue his fellow comrades and try to get back to Andy's house before he leaves to college.

A fantastic third installment in the series that manages to be as excellent as the first 2 movies which were instant classics and so will this movie. There are many fantastic trilogies like Star Wars classic trilogy, Indiana Jones, Evil Dead, Fistful of Dollars, Back to the Future and more and this is one of them. After 11 years since 99 when i keep hearing in magazines/the internet about Toy Story 3 it felt like development hell but it finally got greenlighted and boy it felt like it was worth the long wait.

The script by Michael Arndt is surprisingly brilliant and full of humor/emotion and energy. Even the direction by Lee Unkrick is nice and the animation is just outstanding/spectacular and even better in 3D which i saw in theaters 4 times and it's an utterly fantastic, well written and impactful sequel. The film co-stars Whoopie Goldberg, Lori Moore, Timothy Dalton as Mr Picklepants, Michael Keaton as Ken, Jodi Benson as Barbi and R Lee Ermy back as Sarge.

A totally must see sequel.

Willard (1971)

A very good horror film!

[8/10 · 25 November 2017]

Willard Stiles (Bruce Davison) is a social misfit with a lousy job ran by a boss named Al Martin (Ernest Borgnine) and a dominating mother named Henrietta (Elsa Lancaster). He makes friends down in the basement with rats even a big one which he names as Ben, he not only can communicate with the rats but they can follow his command even to kill people.

Co-starring Sandra Locke, this 1971 horror thriller is one of the better killer animal movies. This movie kicked off Bruce's career and this movie was shot on a small budget by Cinerama releasing and became a surprise box-office hit in the summer of 1971. After this movie's success Borgine was offered higher salary since then, the film spawned a sequel and a remake in 2003. Based on an obscure novel called "The Ratman's notebooks", this is a chilling and very enjoyable killer rat take on Psycho and quite similar in aspects to Hitchcock's masterpiece. This movie with Jaws's success lead to killer animal films that dominated the 70s and early 80s and made people fear rats. I like Davison's performance as the social misfit turned villain and Willard is a sympathetic character you feel bad for and feel like booing at his boss Al Martin whom was superbly performed by Ernest Borgnine and the mother was nicely performed by the Bride of Frankenstein herself.

Tales from the Crypt: Easel Kill Ya (1991) Season 3, Episode 8

One of the best episodes of the show ever!

[9/10 · 25 November 2017]

A struggling artist named Jack Craig (Tim Roth) is trying to come up with art that can sell well, so after accidentally killing someone thus gives me an idea of drawing murdered people. So he sells art to a very wealthy rich man (William Atherthorn) who has a collection of morbid art will pay him a thousand dollars each for his artworks, Jack goes around killing people and painting their dead bodies on his portraits.

Co-starring Debra Mooney, this is one of the better episodes of the series! sure the plot has been done before in Bucket of Blood or Color Me Blood Red by HG Lewis. This episode is directed by John Harrison who did Tales from the Darkside the movie and did the music for Creepshow/Day of the Dead and did a nice job here, Roth did a fabulous performance as the struggling murderous artist and it's quite a well done episode with nice cinematography and nice score plus a tragic dark twist in the end makes this one of the better episodes of season 3.

Tales from the Crypt: The Reluctant Vampire (1991) Season 3, Episode 7

Very good and cute episode!

[8/10 · 23 November 2017]

Donald Longtooth (Malcom Mcdowell) is a good natured vampire who has a night job at the local blood bank as he would never kill innocent people as he instead take some blood from the blood bank for his thirst and only kill bad people who do bad things to good people. However, his boss (George Wendt) realizes his business is almost going bankrupt and Donald falls for a lovely lady named Sally (Sandra Dickinson).

A very good and quite cute episode that co-stars Michael Barryman as a Van Helsing type of character who looks just like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit which is weird as it must be a reference to another Robert Zemeckis production since the show is produced by the same guys. Terry Black's script is funny and enjoyable and the episode co-stars Paul Gleason as well as the detective. It's a darkly comical episode that has a cute romance story, some violence and blood plus vampire action. Mcdowell is also superb as the title vampire.

Batman: The Animated Series: The Last Laugh (1992) Season 1, Episode 15

Another one of my fave episodes!

[10/10 · 23 November 2017]

It seems Joker (voiced by Mark Hamil) with his goons have hijack a garbage boat to head to a garbage dump island where on the garbage pail it has gas sprayed on it so it would make people in Gotham laugh their butts off and go nuts. Joker with his hooligans commit robberies and it's on April fool's Day which is probably the Joker's favorite holiday. Alfred (voiced by Efrem Zimbalist Jr) has been exposed to the gas and is nearly wrecking the living room and giggling, luckily Bruce Wayne/Batman (voiced by Kevin Conroy) is wearing a gasmask as he must find the Joker to stop him before everyone will die with a smile.

One of the best Joker episodes ever and one of my all time favorite episodes. I gotta say the music score in this episode is very memorable and has been stuck in my head since i first saw this show on Fox when i was 11. Nice animation, action, intensity plus there's Captain Clown who is one of the coolest robots ever plus Joker delivers such great memorable lines like "You killed Captain Clown, you killed Captain Clown". Fantastic voice acting and even a dose of humor especially from everyone's favorite clown to the butler, it's just that awesome of an episode.

Batman: The Animated Series: Nothing to Fear (1992) Season 1, Episode 10

A solid debut for the Scarecrow!

[8/10 · 23 November 2017]

A madman in a scarecrow outfit who is Professor Jonathan Crane aka The Scarecrow (voiced by Henry Polic II) who was once a professor of psychology of fears and stuff, the university thought he went too far with his fear experiments and they called him a lunatic. After that he wants revenge, so he terrorist attacks with gas bombs that make people see their fears like bats, spiders or parental rejection. Apparently Batman (voiced by Kevin Conroy) has been exposed to the gas and sees his fears of parental rejection as he thinks his father is telling him he is disgracing the Wayne name and must try to get the fear out of his system so he can find out what Scarecrow is planning on doing next.

A very good debut to one of Batman's best enemies! i knew the character since the late 80s with reruns of Superfriends and Filmation's Batman cartoon and the comics back in 1989 and i knew he would be on this show and was excited. It's a well written episode that is a psychological one on what if our fears consumed us but if we want to fight that fear and Batman says his amazing line "Your not my father! i am not a disgrace! i am vengeance, i am the night, I AM BATMAN!" which is the best line he has ever said. Clive Revell voices Alfred in this one and a few episodes before Effon Zimibist Jr voiced him. Henry Polic II is pitch perfect as the Scarecrow yet in his debut costume he looks average then he evolved in no time with different scarecrow costumes.

Tales from the Crypt: Dead Wait (1991) Season 3, Episode 6

Quite good episode!

[7/10 · 23 November 2017]

Red Buckley (James Remar) is a natural red headed treasure seeker in search of a one-of-a-kind black pearl. He finds a job on an island plantation owned by Mr. Duval (Jonathan Rhys-Davies) where the pearl is said to be. Shown to his room in Duvall's home by Voodoo mistress Peligre (Whoopie Goldberg), he finds a ram head behind the door. She says it is there for his protection but he demands it be removed. After spending a night with Duvall's girlfriend, Kathrine (Vanity), they decide to become partners in stealing the pearl and bad things are gonna happen.

A highly enjoyable episode, not one of the best ones but still one of the more enjoyable ones. Tobe Hooper who directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist directed this episode and has an EC feel to it, the script is very good and the performances are solid even Remar and the ever sexy Vanity. There is some suspense and some gore in this episode even surprises, at the end of the Crypt wraparound segment Whoopie Goldberg herself guest stars besides playing Peligre,

Batman: The Animated Series: Christmas with the Joker (1992) Season 1, Episode 38

Fun Joker debut episode!

[8/10 · 23 November 2017]

On Christmas eve, The Joker (voiced by Mark Hamil) has escaped after decorating the tree in the asylum when it was obviously a rocket. Bruce Wayne (voiced by Kevin Conroy) and Dick Grayson (voiced by Loren Lester) are having a nice quiet Christmas evening to watch It's a Wonderful Life on TV which Bruce has never seen, that is until it wasn't showing and Joker is taking over the TV network where Summer Gleeson (voiced by Mari Davon) works as she with Detective Bullock (Voiced by Robert Contazo) and Commissioner Gordon (voiced by Bob Hastings) are being held hostage, now it's up to Batman and Robin to save Gotham on Christmas eve.

A very entertaining episode that has nice animation, some good action and a sense of humor with a fine script that is co-written by Paul Dini. I like the visuals and the holiday atmosphere to get anyone in the holiday mood and watched this episode every holiday season as a tradition and makes good holiday viewing. There is some "It's A Wonderful Life" references and Joker singing the famous "Jingle Bells Batman smells" song, it's one of the better Robin guest starring episodes.

Batman: The Animated Series: On Leather Wings (1992) Season 1, Episode 2

One hell of a pilot episode!

[10/10 · 23 November 2017]

It seems there's a half-man/half bat creature being on the loose and the Batman (voiced by Kevin Conway) is being framed of robberies and physical assaults he didn't commit. He is on the trial of this monster in finding clues, he needs the help of Dr Kirk Langstrom (voiced by Marc Singer) who may have the key in finding this creature.

One of my favorite episodes! this was meant to be the pilot episode of the series and was shown at a comic con back in 92 and had positive responses while the sneak preview episode was "Cat and the Claw" on Saturday morning and this being a second sneak preview episode for Sunday nights to attract older viewers. It worked like a charm and the series went on to become afternoon staples and even for some Sunday nights to get older audiences to watch the show and was a success. This is a nicely written and nicely animated episode with good writing, mystery, horror, Science fiction and a Jekyll and Hyde kind of thing. Man-Bat i knew from the comics when i read them in 89 and knew he would be on the series as Man-Bat is one of Batman's most underrated characters.

The transformation of man to man-bat was just jaw droppingly amazing and well animated and badass. This one had mystery and action and an excellent first starter.

Tales from the Crypt: Top Billing (1991) Season 3, Episode 5

Awesome episode!

[10/10 · 23 November 2017]

When a talented hardworking struggling actor named Barry (Jon Lovitz) has been turned down for roles because he doesn't have "the look" when talent is more important than looks. As even his girlfriend (Kimmy Robertson) and agent dumps him, opportunity knocks when there is gonna be an upcoming Hamlet play ran by Nelson Helliwell (John Astin) and he has competition by the name of Winton (Bruce Boxleiter) to get the part of Hamlet.

A very well directed/shot/well written episode that is one of the best episodes in the series and one of my all time favorite episodes. The music score by Jay Fergeson has that 80s/early 90s feel to it and has a charm to it. It's darkly funny and the performances is excellent even Jon Lovitz who was born for the part of this episode. It deals with what show business can be a pain in the butt sometimes, Astin is fantastic as the director of the Hamlet play for this episode and there's also a nice gruesome but funny twist in the end that you should see for yourself.

Tales from the Crypt: Abra Cadaver (1991) Season 3, Episode 4

One of my favorite episodes!

[10/10 · 20 November 2017]

In 1979, two brothers Martin Fairbanks (Beau Bridges) and Carl (Tony Goldwyn) were medical students and Martin would had been a successful surgeon if not for a cruel prank. Years later in 1991, Martin is now a medical assistant and wants revenge on his brother with an experimental voodoo drug. He wants to prove that the human brain can live very long once the body is dad with the drug, he injects it into his brother to experiment on him.

A very chilling and well written episode with nice direction by Stephen Hopkins who directed Predator 2 with a chilling score by Alan Silvestri. This one is based on a Tales from the Crypt story "Dead Right" and a nightmarish episode that feels creepy as hell and chilling as you get to see what death is almost like from the paralyzed almost clinically dead Carl from the POV shots and hearing disorted sounds like from a dead man's hearing in aspects. Tom Wright whom you remember as Martin Moore from Tales from the Hood and the Hitchhiker from Creepshow 2 stars as a Rastafarian doctor. This episode shows how sometimes pranks can go wrong and what it feels like getting revenge, not to mention the ending was very bone chilling and disturbing.

Tales from the Crypt: The Trap (1991) Season 3, Episode 3

"I'm Lou Palmona....Blow me"!

[8/10 · 19 November 2017]

Fired from his job, a 41 year old man named Lou Paloma (Bruce Mcgill) is so upset that his wife Irene (Teri Garr) suggests she gets a job and he gets a better job since they are behind their bills. So Lou comes up with a scheme to earn money if he has his brother Billy (Bruno Kirby) who is a coroner as he wants to fake his death and collect half of his million dollar insurance as all he has to do is to fly to Brazil, get plastic surgery and wait for his wife to meet him.

A very well written and nicely paced episode that isn't scary or a horror but really more of a dark thriller comedy. Michael J Fox (Who makes a cameo in the trial scene) does a nice directorial job with this episode and co-stars Principle Strikland himself James Tolkan and Carrol Baker. I really like the script and how funny this episode is with dark comedy, it is based on a Shock Suspensestories story. I also like the twist ending this episode has even with the brilliant line spoke by Lou.

Cult of Chucky (2017)

Hands down the WORST CHUCKY MOVIE EVER, the death of the franchise!

[1/10 · 14 November 2017]

5 years after the events of "Curse of Chucky", Nica (Fiona Douriff) has been committed to a mental institute after being framed for murder she didn't commit and blamed it on Chucky (voiced by Brad Douriff). Andy (Alex Vincent) who is 35 years old living on his own in a cabin in the forest miles away from the big city where he had a date but then she turns him down due to finding out his history. He has the head of Chucky which is still alive/moving after 5 years which also talks as he likes to torture it even have fun with it especially in sharing smoking joints with it. Dr. Foley (Michael Therriault) is trying to help with Nica cope with her problems and so called "delusions" about Chucky as they just received some packages of Chucky dolls as now Chucky discovers after searching on a website on voodoo that he has the power to copy his soul into other dolls even in other living humans to do his bidding to make a "cult" with the help of his girlfriend Tiffany (played by Jennifer Tilly once again) as only Andy can stop this cult.

AN ABSOLUTE DISASTER OF A FILM AND SEQUEL! Don Mancini, what in the flying hell were you thinking writing and directing this horrid piece of total crap sequel? you should be ashamed of yourself as you are destroying this franchise. The movie's title is a sham as there is no "cult", just clones of Chucky as each of the new Chucky dolls have new personality to them when it should be about an actual cult of Charles Lee Ray fans who learns from Tiffany about transferring souls into dolls to join in this army to bring Charles Lee ray into a new Chucky doll and have Andy with Kyle to battle them for one last time would had been a great idea and better than this travesty of a film. Another direct to video made piece of junk from Universal and this movie is total proof the co-creator of Child's Play when Tom Holland should be the one who needs credit that Don Mancini is a clueless and worthless hack of a filmmaker and writer.

Such dumb lines like when one of the patients tied to a gurney as Chucky holds a little tank of compressed air then reads it saying "Compressed...do you think i know what that means?", i mean great Mancini you made Chucky a total moron to not think what it means. The story is totally senseless as this movie makes no sense despite Chucky explains how he jumps from body to body in a similar way like in Jason Goes to Hell only he clones his soul, the one part where Dr. Foley gets murdered is a good practical effect but some of the gore/violent shots are poorly edited and all as the editing in this movie is terrible even the use of Ang Lee Hulk split screen in a few parts. Chucky finding a website saying "Voodoo for Dummies"? i mean Mancini, you fail at writing and that was a dumb thing to say for Chucky to say.

Brad sounds tired as hell playing this role and just did it for paycheck even Jennifer Tilly, Alex is okay reprising his role as Andy as he has not acted in a film for a long time. Some of the practical effects like Chucky dolls for example are quite nice but the film is just a senseless pointless mess of a movie as it has a scene where one of the Chuckie's is gonna get buried then Chucky flips off is a sign that this franchise has been screwed and being dead and buried.

Don't get me started on that idiotic ending plus the cop out surprise ending with Kyle (Christine Elsie) about to torture Chucky when she should had been in the film all this time to help with Andy. It's as bad as the cop out surprise ending in the end of the last one when it should had been the movie but no, Mancini has to screw it up once again.

Let this franchise lay dead and buried and keep Mancini away from this franchise as he is a poor writer and director who thinks he wants to be Artsy but he sucks badly.

Seed of Chucky (2004)

A dismal sequel but not as horrible as the next 2!

[3/10 · 13 November 2017]

Six years after Tiffany (voiced by Jennifer Tilly) gave birth to a baby doll at the end of "Bride of Chucky", the offspring who was taken by a ventriloquist (Keith-Lee Castle) whom the offspring would later be called Glen/Glenda (voiced by Billy Boyd) who is basically transgendered when it has two souls of different sexes in him/her, as he/she discovers where his real parents are especially Chucky (voiced by Brad Douriff) are in Hollywood on the set for a horror movie called "Chucky goes Psycho" where Jennifer Tilly plays herself besides voicing Tiffany. Glen/Glenda goes to Hollywood where has the amulet "Heart of Dambella" with him to bring his parents back to life, as they are reunited Glen/Glenda is unlike the two of them as he/she thinks killing is wrong and Chucky wants to set a good example for his son. Tiffany comes up with a plan to impregnate Jennifer Tilly with Chucky's semen so that she can give birth to a baby, so that way Tiffany can transfer her soul into Jennifer as Glen/Glenda can transfer his/her soul into the baby and Chucky can find a human male host for the soul to be in.

Co-starring Redman with cameo by John Waters, this 5th installment of the franchise which is written and directed by Don Mancini is terrible but not as god-awful as the 6th and 7th movies. After development hell since 1998 after the success of Bride of Chucky when Son of Chucky was being written, Universal passed on to it and waited until 2003 when Universal's Focus pictures which made a horror division called Rogue Pictures bought the script and filmed it for a November 2004 release. The film did badly at the box-office and got bad reviews, i agree with that as i was curious about this movie seeing it in theaters and what i got was a pile of horse crap. Not scary and not funny at all as it's trying to be funny but becomes a pure failure at attempting. This is the movie where you get to see Chucky wack off which is something fans don't want to see! The characters are unlikable especially Glen/Glenda whom is an irritating character despite Billy Boyd did a good vocal performance which is funny how he and Douriff were from the Lord of the Rings films.

The humor is too meta and knowing about itself as it's trying to be New Nightmare on aspects but fails at that. Don Mancini at this movie made his directorial debut and seems very amateurish as he feels bad as a director and poor as a writer as he seems to lost his touch after Child's Play 2 or 3 as CP 2 was better written than this piece of crap especially Fitting Punishment on Tales from the Crypt which he co-wrote. Mancini thinks he is funny to have Tiffany flash her doll knockers or Chucky jerking his chain, nice try to be funny Don but you fail at humor as your writing is very poor here. Tony Gardner's puppet and practical effects are some of the saving graces of this cluster-screw of a sequel yet that karate fight of Glen and Chucky was unbelievably lame/dumb and a poor attempt to be funny plus there's also the idiotic ending.

Then we have 2 more awful sequels to come.

Bride of Chucky (1998)

Mediocre installment, but it tries.

[6/10 · 12 November 2017]

A month after the events of Child's Play 3 after Chucky (voiced by Brad Douriff) was sliced in the fan at the amusement park at the end, it seems Chucky's old flame Tiffany (played by Jennifer Tilly) who finds his remains in a police station evidence room and takes his body back to her place to stitch him up back together. Now Chucky decides after being treated like dirt by her, he transfers her soul into a bridal doll's body as now both must try to be human again, Chucky's original human corpse is buried with an amulet that is called "the heart of Dambella" which they can be human again if they get some humans. Tiffany gets an idea to call her strong model- like male neighbor named Jesse (Nick Stabile) to go to Hackensack New Jersey to deliver dolls to a cemetery in exchange for 500 dollars. Jesse accepts the offer as he decides to take his girlfriend Jade (Katherine Heigl) to go with him to run away from her strict/bossy police officer of an uncle Chief Warren (John Ritter) and are on the road for Chucky is on the loose killing anyone that gets in his way with the help of Tiffany.

A mediocre sequel from writer Don Mancini and Hong Kong director Ronny Yu and is the 4th installment of the popular Child's Play franchise. I saw this in theaters as a teen and thought it was OK, yet this was made after the success of Scream and Mancini who thought he ran out of ideas after part 3 thought that Scream was successful and would love to copy the formula that movie had. Ronny Yu who directed the Hong Kong fantasy cult film "The Bride with White Hair" was hired to direct this movie and later on went to make "Freddy vs Jason" in 2003, the film was an attempt to be scary and funny at the same time but falls flat. Jennifer Tilly sure is hot in the first half and did a great job voicing her doll counterpart yet there were some in-jokes like the Creepshow crate with the Freddy glove, a cheap looking Jason mask, a chainsaw that could be Leatherface's and Michael's mask in the evidence room. Then there's that dumb kill where John Ritter whom is one of my favorite actors by the way gets killed by nails that were latched on a powerful glove compartment that no way would actually work with the nails just flying and nailing through his face. Then Chucky cracks a one- liner saying "Why does that face look so familiar" which is suppose to be a funny reference to Hellraiser but isn't as some of the jokes fall flat.

I did liked the one-liner where he murders done on Damien (Alexis Arquette) whom is basically a take on goths and Marylin Manson as Chucky says "It ain't the size that counts a hole it's what you do with it". Some of the kills are quite lame with some okay make-up and puppetry effects by Kevin Yagher but the script is mediocre as hell. Lawrence Dane the Canadian actor whom you remember from Scanners and Happy Birthday to Me plays Lt Danson yet some of the characters aren't likable like in Child's Play 2 but the main leads are strangely likable which is the dolls. The doll sex scene was quite far fetched when it was meant to be funny but totally not funny and Chucky's death was poor compared to the first 3 deaths of him but he did said a great line "Go ahead and shoot, i'll be back! i always come back but dying is such a bitch".

Then we have the ending which made me go "Oh no, son of chucky!" which is sequel bait ending that leads to "Seed of Chucky" years later.

Child's Play 3 (1991)

A decent entry in the franchise and the last one worth a damn!

[7/10 · 12 November 2017]

In 1998, 8 years after the events of the last film and after years of negative publicity about the Good Guy Dolls that involved the Chucky case with Andy Barclay, the factor has been doing strong over the years with other products and before the incident their good guy dolls were the hottest selling toys on the market that outsold their other toys. CEO Mr Sullivan (Peter Haskell) decides to get rid of the memory of Andy Barclay and his killer Good Guy Doll story to bring back the Good Guy doll on the market for the 90s at his company, thus it's reopened and he receives a Good Guy doll that is actually Chucky brought back to life as now the little terror discovers that Andy is at a military school. Andy (Justin Whalin) is 16 years old as he wants to get on with his life to forget those "fantasies of killer dolls" as his mother is still in psychiatric care even fail to cope to live in foster homes and the place is ran by Colonel Cochran (Dakin Matthews) who is in charge of the place. He befriends new friends like Tyler (Jeremy Slyvers), Whitehurst (Dean Jacobson) and Kirstin Desilla (Perrey Reeves) whom he develops romantic feelings for. Chucky has used the company's computer records to find where Andy is at and sends himself to Kent Military School, yet meets Tyler as Chucky finds out he has a new body and hasn't told anyone his secret and makes friends with Tyler as he wants to use him for a vessel to take over his soul. Andy must hunt down the little killer from taking over the boy's body.

A weak sequel to the first 2 movies and considered inferior to the second movie but very enjoyable and the last truly good Chucky movie worth a damn. After the success of Child's Play 2, Universal green-lighted a third movie and was rushed into production for a summer of 1991 release and Don Mancini wrote the script in a week. Jack Bender who did TV movies made a theatrical release here and his direction is fairly OK at best and Mancini's writing is OK but has some good lines like when Chucky says "Don't F with the chuck" or "Presto Your Dead" when he murders the barber. Andrew Robinson from Hellraiser/Dirty Harry co-stars in this one as Sgt. Botnik and Travis Fine as Lt. Shelton as this sequel is not as bad as some people made out to be. But for me personally i think it's the last Child's Play movie worth a damn before it went all down hill no thanks to Mancini. The film did became notorious in the UK for 2 murders it "supposedly" spawned like the murder of 3 year old James Buldger back in 1993 by two 11 year olds whom the Tabloids blamed this movie on the murder but neither saw the film before the murder and saw it only afterwards. There was also the Suzanne Capper case which 2/3 were involved by demented killers who tortured her listening to recordings of "Hi i'm chucky wanna play" before burning her alive and killing her. That's awful what happened but you can't blame the movies for those insane psychopaths who committed such horrible murders, like Scream says "Movies don't make psychos".

The puppetry/animatronics by Kevin Yagher feels a step down from the previous film and is OK at best yet the gore effects are quite good especially when Chucky gets half his face sliced off to look like Pizza with no cheese to the death of the barber. Originally Jonathan Brandis was suppose to play teen Andy yet the role won to Justin Whalin who did a good job playing the character well. There is a fun climax set in a theme park which is quite thrilling i gotta say.

The Exorcist (1973)

A horror masterpiece!

[10/10 · 5 November 2017]

In Georgetown Washington, an actress named Chris Macneille (Ellen Burstyn) is visiting the place as she is staying in a house while filming a movie with her 12 year old daughter Reagan (Linda Blair) whom have a bond together as mother and daughter. Yet someone strange things have been happening lately, there was first the death of a filmmaker that Chris knows by the name of Burke Dennings (Jack MacGowan) to all the way to her daughter acting strange even with voice changing, bed shaking and all sorts of weird things going on. A priest/psychiatrist named Father Damian Karrass (Jason Miller) has trouble with finding his faith especially after his mother (Vasiliki Maliaros) died. Reagan's mother is convinced that some kind of evil demon spirit is inside her body and no doctor can help her daughter, she decides to call forth on Karass to help with her as Karass joins up with elderly priest Father Lankester Merrin (Max Von Sydow) to help take care of the evil demonic spirit within the girl's body.

A fantastic and unique cinematic work of horror! William Peter Blatty who co-wrote the script wrote his novel back in 1971 inspired by a 1949 case on exorcism and became a bestselling book and was optioned by Warner Brothers for film rights. There were many directors who were considered to direct the film like Stanley Kubrick to Arthur Penn when William Friedkin who made The French Connection was hired as he liked the script and filming began. Jack Nicholson and Paul Newman were considered for the role of Karass but luckily Jason Miller who had never acted before after doing a play was offered the role as he accepted it. Marlon Brando was offered to play Father Merrin but went to Max Von Sydow which this is one of his finest roles ever. Dick Smith with Rick Baker whom Rick was uncredited in co-doing the special make up effects worked on the film's excellent make up effects especially on the infamous vomit sequence which was done with pea soup to the iconic make up that Blair wore on her face. The film also co-stars Lee Cobb as Lt. William Kinderman whom Kinderman would be one of the main characters for this movie and in Exorcist III yet in 3 was played by George C Scott.

The film had some problems like some accidents/injuries on the set with a couple of deaths that occurred. But it took from August 1972 for 200 days to film. Yet some stuff which was filmed like the infamous spider-walk sequence was cut from the film for pacing issues and later some of the footage for the director's cut was released in 2000 in theaters in it's theatrical re-issue called "The Version you Never Seen". The film was released in December 26 1973 to mixed reviews but huge Hollywood profit and became the highest grossing R-rated film of all time and the highest grossing horror film until Jaws came along in 1975. It made a huge profit and a pop culture phenomenon it became among the public and American film history, it spawned sequels with one being good and a whole slew of rip-offs/imitators over the years.

The film is a study in realism and the supernatural in pure terror with fantastic performances even Linda Blair as Reagan whom became an iconic horror character and actress. Friedkin's direction is fantastic with great use of darkness, light and color throughout the film and the script by Blatty is just outstanding. The film shocked the audiences with it's shocking profanity and disturbing imagery even the infamous masturbation sequence which made audiences shocked but the most disturbing sequence to me is the hospital sequence in which Reagan gets carotid angiography that made audiences faint and still makes me squirm as i recalled seeing this movie 30 years ago with my family when i was a kid on video and that scene made me squirm and turn green.

What can i say, it's a cinematic horror masterpiece and i'm not religious as i am a Buddhist and this is an excellent work of horror.

Popcorn (1991)

A solid and fun horror comedy tribute to cinematic gimmicks

[7/10 · 3 November 2017]

15 years ago, a motion picture called The Possessor which is almost like a snuff meets psychdelia film made by a man named Lanyard Gates who killed his family and destroyed the theater it was being filmed in. Maggie (Jill Scholen from The Stepfather) has been having bizarre realistic dreams of a killer and visions, her mother Suzanne (Dee Wallace Stone) is worried about her daughter with these nightmares and Maggie wants to be a script writer for Hollywood. Her friends decide to help reopen up the abandoned movie theater like Mark (Derek Rydell) and others to bring in classic gimmick ridden b- movies from the 50s/60s for nostalgic fun for everyone to attend. Professor Davis (Tony Roberts) and Dr. Mnesyne (Ray Walson) help bring in the stuff for the gimmicks to help the audience interact with the movies they watch in the gimmick horror movie marathon. A deformed Leatherface meets Phantom of the Opera type killer (Tom Villard) is on the loose in the theater during the showings, killing off the teens one by one until Maggie will find out who is the mysterious cretin.

An entertaining and fun horror comedy from writer Alan Ornsby is a nice tribute to the William Castle gimmick movies of the 50s and 60s long before there was "Matinee". It deals with the gimmick movies as part of the plot which are influenced by the 50's/60's monster films with some slasher elements which helps the movie be a combo of both. The maniac in this movie is quite unique as he can change his face with the help of special mask-masking even voice disguising as his make up effects are really quite effective. The kills aren't really gory but quite mild like you would expect a gore-feast but this is more of a horror- comedy thriller in aspects and has some good suspense with a nice climax no doubt about it. Sure the acting isn't all that great except for Ray Waltson and Dee Wallace Stone whom are both talented actors but this is a low budget horror film here, the film is set in California but is actually filmed in Jamaica which is very unique as it's one of the rare horror films that are filmed on that island. There's even a funky reggae soundtrack thrown in since it makes sense being filmed in Jamaica, the movie has some surprises and thrills.

The movie got some OK reviews and was a flop at the box-office but became a cult favorite on home video through the years. It's really an enjoyable slasher film and a tribute to William Castle's stuff.

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

A true trainwreck

[1/10 · 9 July 2014]

Family man Michael (Hal Warren), his wife Margaret (Dianne Maherr) and daughter Debbit (Jackie Neyman Jones) travels on vacation as they stumble to the Valley Lodge. They soon find a creepy mangoat-like fellow named Torgo (John Reynolds) helps them to their rooms until his evil master (Tom Neyman) traps them into a horrifying nightmare.

One of the worst films of all time! this stinky abortion of a movie has one of the worst plots in the history of film plus rotten acting, horrible production values, lethargic pacing, and all that sort of thing but does have a good jazzy soundtrack which helps the level of this excretment. Thank god for Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffing this mess apart and you can feel the pain they suffered through this movie.

Watch only the MST3K version.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

An underrated war achievement!

[4/10 · 4 July 2014]

In 1940 as Hitler and his Nazis invade Europe, America refuses to join in the battle. Two military pilots named Danny (Josh Harnett) and Rafe (Ben Affeleck) have been good friends since they were kids fall for a sexy nurse named Eveylen (Kate Beckinsale) for Rafe seems to get the girl until he is called for duty in Europe, a month later after Rafe is assumed dead it's now Danny who falls for Evelyn. It seems he isn't dead at all but alive and a love triangle starts for now the Japanese have a plan to attack on Sunday December 7th 1941.

Co-starring Jon Voight as President Rooservelt, Alec Baldwin as Captain Doolittle, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Doris "Dorie" Miller, Mko as Admiral Yamamato, William Lee Scott as Billy and Dan Ackroyd as Captain Thurman this is an outstanding and underrated WWII action-drama from producer Jerry Bruckheimer, Braveheart writer Randall Wallace and director Michael Bay. It's been criticized as a cliché mushy love story disguised as a war movie but it's not true, i believe it has the right ingredients of a successful blockbuster from all three filmmakers and really depicts WWII in a glorious fictional kind of manner. Who cares about accuracy and all that? i think he does a small bit of historical accuracy even on some casting like Cuba Gooding Jr. who made a damn good role of playing the first black American soldier to get the cross-medal and i love Hans Zimmer's brilliant score. The action sequences are well executed by one of the biggest Hollywood action maestros Bay and it's a very well made movie that is a must see for everyone as i loved it since i saw it in theaters before my graduation for it's a sad, sometimes uplifting and dark War drama that even has a bit of humor.