IanTheGenius Reviews

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

An excellent film

[24 July 2002]

On first impressions you'll be forgiven for thinking that this is a childish film with no real appeal for adults. You could be right... it just depends on how weird you are really.

A lot of people have written reviews about the beutiful animation and technical brilliance of this film. I can only agree with them quickly without repeating them. What made this film for me was the wonderful soundtrack.

Danny Elfman is a true genius and has long been my favourite musician. Upon re-viewing this film recently (I couldn't really appreciate it as a child) I see just how much his brilliance made this film what it is. This is very much Danny Elfman's film in that he is the star. He sings the lead character and even does a couple of character voices too (one of the characters has been modelled to look like him - you'll notice him playing the saxaphone). It's Elfman's score and songwriting that are central to this film - it is, after all, a musical first and foremost - just as much as the animation.

So watch this wonderful, animated musical and escape the tedium of modern Disney travesties (Walt would turn in his grave if he saw Tarzan). I know I'll be keeping a copy to show to my kids... if I ever have kids.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

One of the best films of the year

[10/10 · 12 May 2002]

I have to say that this is the best film I've seen in the cinema since "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". I haven't seen "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" yet though (it seems popular to have colons in movie titles these days).

Earlier this year I developed this strange love for classic horror films. It's clear to see that the films that have made the most impact on cinema are low-budget/high-terror horror films that have occasionally cropped up from the pile-of-s**te Hollywood "event" films that come out every week. "Dog Soldiers" is truly one of those rare gems among the jagged rocks that will remain a classic for years to come.

This film is deliberately reminiscent of many films in the past: "Zulu" ("This reminds me of Rourkes Drift"); "The Evil Dead" (One of the characters is called Bruce Campbell and he meets his end in a gruesome way that involves a tree); the list goes on. This doesn't detract from the film at all. Through all its references it is never once derivative. The naturalistic dialogue makes us believe that the characters in the film are as aware of these references as we are.

Geordie director Neil Marshall's first feature is nothing short of excellent and I will be watching his career with great interest. Hmmm... that was a Star Wars quote. It seems that this is going to be a good year for films. With "Spiderman" coming in June and "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" coming in December, and let's not forget the occasional rare gem .....like "Dog Soldiers" for example. Point made methinks.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Possibly the best film ever?

[10/10 · 9 April 2002]

Well, I suppose that would be a matter of opinion. But this is one my all time favourites. There is just nothing wrong with this film. I can't think of one moment in this when I am not laughing out loud, no matter how many times I have watched it.

This is probably Kubrick's most focused film. His other efforts are generally mixes of whatever good idea comes to him next. This still has his wildly fluctuating style but this never strays from its major focus point... Peter Sellers. When working on Lolita, Kubrick had grown fond of Sellers and loved to watch him perform. This is very apparent here as most of the film consists of hilarious monologues for Sellers's three characters. Sellers doesn't disappoint either. He brings to the screen a wonderfully restrained performance for these three characters, which makes it even funnier when he dives into a physical act of hilarity. He even gets all the best lines such as "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War room!"; "I'm sorry, Jack. The string has gone in my legs" etc. He even manages to make his three characters so physically different from each other that it's hard to believe that they're the same person; he seems to change the shape of his face and even the way they hold a phone (As Muffley he comfortably rests the phone in his hand but as Mandrake he clings onto the receiver nervously with both hands, ready to hide the mouth-piece). Sadly he didn't win the oscar he was nominated for.

The laughs don't just end with Sellers though. The script - written by Kubrick, Terry Southern and Peter George (author of source novel "Red Alert") - never lets us rest, chances are we will be laughing so much at a great line that we won't hear the next one. Also, Kubrick frames each shot to unmatched perfection, comedy has never looked this good. Everything, right down to the whimsical special effects are perfect.

The supporting cast are brilliant too. Slim Pickens (If that is his real name) was never told that he was starring in a comedy. Kubrick wanted him to believe that it was a drama as he thought it would make his performance funnier. He was right. George C. Scott battles with Sellers for the best lines in the War room scenes whilst Sterlyn Hayden battles for the best monologues in Ripper's office.

The film was originally set for release in 1963 with an ending that burst into a custard-pie fight in the War room and the president being knocked down by a pie. Due to the Kennedy assassination this was removed and the film was released in 1964. Ironic, considering this was released right in the middle of the cold war.

So watch and enjoy.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

At last!!! There is hope for the film industry yet!

[10/10 · 7 April 2002]

I have been waiting so long for this film. By that I don't mean an adaptation of the brilliant novel (I haven't even finished reading it yet) But I mean an epic masterpiece like this.

Peter Jackson has brought us a truly beautiful and believable vision of Middle Earth (Filmed entirely in New Zealand) onto the screen. Also, he has made a unique decision that will set him aside in our memories for a long time to come... He has focused the entire films on the characters and their relationships to each other. Rather than just a heartless retelling of the story, like Chris Columbus has done with Harry Potter, he has created something that is - in essence - an epic independant film.The result is truly something we have never seen before. It is like no other film in existence.

However, at certain points this feels a little rushed. The Lothlorien sequence comes immediately to mind. It seems that this has been done in order to fit in the full emotional ending in all of it's epic scope, having not been allowed to go over three hours. This is a minor problem though and is entirely expected in adapting such a huge tome into a three hour film.

Fans of the book may be upset to here that most of the first half of the episode has been trimmed considerably. This is so we can get the fellowship of the title together and create a wonderful ensemble chemistry in reminiscence of The Magnificent Seven or The Great Escape. Also, Jackson has brought us an adventure with more action than Tolkien did in his brick of paper.

This is a faithful adaptation but is still a new experience, even to people who know the book off by heart (they are out there) because of Jackson's injection of adrenaline and humour (not that they were totally missing in the book).

Also, whoever cast this film is a genius. A flawless ensemble, which consists of Sir Ian Mckellen, Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortenson, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, John Rhys-Davies, Orlando Bloom and - robbed of his oscar nomination here - Sean Bean (the nomination did go to Mckellen who lost gracefully to fellow Brit Jim Broadbent). The sheer concept of Rhys-Davies as a dwarf may be laughable at first but he brings an incredible strength that no-one else could, he has a wonderful Welshness about him that is easy to warm to. Bloom has the least dialogue but his character will shine in the future. Wood is a remarkable lead to begin with but is soon outstaged by Mortenson who commands respect as a future King of Men.

The supporting cast are also perfectly chosen; Sir Ian Holm, Hugo Weaving and Christopher Lee.

The Two Towers promises to be even better and we will soon have an entire trilogy of epic adventures that will forever be better than Star Wars.

Titanic (1997)

Get in line for the most over-rated film in history

[1/10 · 7 April 2002]

Thank you, James Cameron. Your ego has truly created a film of such mind-numbing tedium that can't even be taken seriously.

This might have been a nicely entertaining film if it wasn't so self-aware in it's epic scope. It has far too many villains... ALL of whom get there Hollywood styled come-uppance in the final act. This makes the film muddled and instead of showing the tragedy of the Titanic incident it just shows a complete disregard for human life that is sickening.

Also, I was offended by the way the romance completely overshadowed the loss of command and anarchy. That's what this film SHOULD have been... let it not be said that there isn't an intriguing sub-plot hidden away in here, which is unfortunately just made ridiculous here by the fact that everyone seems to be out to keep De Caprio (in a very mundane performance) and Winslet apart.

Cameron has the biggest ego in Hollywood and he has proven that with this film. Ironically, this is also the largest grossing film of all time. Basically this means that Cameron's ego is now so big... that any script that comes near him will be devoured. All that I ask of him is that he doesn't go near Alien 5.

This is proof that Hollywood can't produce anything of worthwhile substance. The fact that the "general public" (as I call them) lapped this up like hoards of mindless puppies almost destroys my faith in the world and hence the potential audiences of true genius film-makers.

Shame really.

Dances with Wolves (1990)

Awful, awful... truly awful

[1/10 · 7 April 2002]

That's the only word that comes immediately to mind when hearing this title. Quite simply; it's awful.

This film is not about one man's fight for equality as it would have you believe. It's about Kevin Costner and how great he thinks he is.

This is nearly three hours of self-indulgent crap that grows even more offensive when I think about the awards that were showered onto it. Costner was even made an honorary Sioux tribesman.

Costner turns in a bland, boring performance which can't hold my attention for more than a minute at a time. He directs the film entirely around himself and there is barely a shot that doesn't contain his face, framed in a look of heroic self-admiration.

The dialogue and characterisation are about as gripping as a wet fish and the film relies too heavily on Costner's ridiculous imagery.

This would get zero out of ten if it wasn't for the fact that it somehow manages to exist. And so; one out of ten is all it qualifies for.

The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

I knew that no-one would get this

[14 January 2002]

It seems that the Coen brothers have really found their audience and it's certainly an exclusive group. I, clearly, am a loyal and proud member of this group... as proven by the fact that, not only was I the only person in the cinema laughing, I was practically rolling in the aisles (which can be quite embarrassing when you are the only one). The Coens just don't care about the mainstream Hollywood audiences, they know that their fans are pail, English art students (I reluctantly raise my hand and confess). The truth is, no-one understands the comical intentions of this dark noir homage. If you're a fan of the Coens then you will really love this. If not then don't bother.