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I soliti idioti 3: Il ritorno (2024)
Un ritorno non gradito
I soliti idioti 3: il ritorno... That no one wanted, such a heartbreaking, boring, unfunny, pointless and sad demented comedy movie I've ever seen...
The movie deals with three events one with young annoying guys who keep repeating three words in a cross and that's why it's supposed to be funny... And it turns out they get a chick pregnant that nobody gives a damn about. The second one, on the other hand, is about a grandson of a grandfather with a disease, who plays scratch cards and wins 500000 euros but fails to collect them because of an obnoxious cashier. The third is about the protagonists who also dislike him, where the old man tries to cheat his son and many unfunny sketches...
For acting a few mediocre actors but everyone else sucks.
The cgi scenes make the skin crawl.
And last but not least the humor, full of catchphrases, people repeating the same words, really sad.
The Bunnyman Massacre (2014)
The Bunnyman bores
The Bunnyman Massacre, is an evil (in the bad sense of the word), shoddy, time-wasting, and unpleasant film. Such a horrible movie would not even deserve to be seen by a single human being, but unfortunately it exists, I have to get over it.
The plot classic slasher horror movie, with dumb characters, with a dumb villain, with dumb deaths (at least they have decent special effects, but they don't save the movie) the acting then, I don't want to talk about it really horrible the best actors are the rocks in the background...
By the way the movie is produced by "A no one cares productions" even those who produced it know that it did not deserve to exist.
I carabbimatti (1981)
I cararitardi
Carabbimatti, a pitiful, horrible movie, annihilates the viewer, boring that shuts down your brain and you collapse to the ground like a long, flimsy lego building against a strong wind.
The plot is ridiculous and meaningless to say the least, and there is nothing more to add.
The cast is made up of actors who I pretend to think of as comedians who do nothing but yell and make bad jokes that don't even make you laugh by accident, or at best laugh out of pity.
The editing is rambling, something unwatchable really bad, as annoying as any.
A terrible film, really with few ideas, little fun, little sense, little sense of existence.
Parentesi tonde (2006)
Parentesi Stronze!
Parentesi Tonde, a vile, unmanageable Italian film with no talent, no intelligence and above all no sense!
The story I don't even remember, but I'll try if I remember correctly there are two morons who get married, but one leaves the other and things happen... And then a bunch of other morons come along, including a detestable one who starts making horrible jokes that make you want to imitate Van Gogh when he cut off his ear.
The acting... It is not even commentable perhaps the best acting is the tables in the background, but the beds are not bad either, while the humans (if we can consider them as such) looked like artificial intelligences (indeed chatgtp would certainly have acted better)
The Movies (2005)
The fun movies
The Movies, a fun, exhilarating, extraordinary and original game, a great good game suitable for all ages.
It does not have a story, rather you are the one who has to create your own movie house and also make features, actors and scenes, although it has technical limitations (which are forgivable considering the era at which the game was released) you can play and enjoy it even in 2024.
For the gameplay it is really rich in content, as I wrote a while ago the game allows you to create scenes and edit them and make your own films, and after release there are reviews and film criticism as well.
For the soundtrack we have really good songs, catchy and you will want to hum them.
Really a great game to pass the time!
Unfair Mario (2011)
Unfeir Mediocre
Unfair Mario, a fan game made with bad intentions and blatantly inspired by the Japanese Cat Mario game, does not have much of an interesting...
Graphically, it is inspired by the games of the Italian-American plumber, but it doesn't have much of interest.
The gameplay is a simple platformer with hidden trolls, which manage to make the unsuspecting player alter, but then you just have to get used to it and it's quite simple, it has the same flaws as Cat Mario.
The soundtrack is from the original game, quietly stolen, but it fits being a fan game.
In short as a game itself it succeeds in its intent but remains mediocre.
Shrek Swamp Kart Speedway (2002)
Maybe we avoid racing karts in the swamp!
Shrek Swamp Kart Speedway, a really inexplicable, unbearable, impeded and clumsy kart racing game, how can such a game exist?
Graphically it is distressing, with those characters having their heads bigger than their bodies and those racing tracks having really bad design, with a bad choice of colors.
For gameplay, on the other hand... Inexplicable... No really, it's terrible just move the character slightly to the right and you're already off the track, how can a game like this come out this way, did they try to sell it?
The soundtrack on the other hand is chilling, terrible music, something you would want to forget immediately after hearing it.
Overall, this game is not saved in any respect.
Troppo belli (2005)
Too bad
Too Beautiful, a title that does not reflect the movie, which comes across as too flat, boring, filthy, stupid, idiotic, wrong and last but not least a moronic movie.
The plot is so dumb that it's not even worth mentioning, really it's about two aspiring dog actors who do anything to pursue their useless dream.
The acting then is pitiful and uncommitted, really if I made the two lead actors act two dummies in comparison they would win the oscar, such poor acting I have never seen.
For the soundtrack. There is some forgettable music, nothing special or interesting.
A film like Too Beautiful, would deserve to burn indefinitely as far as I'm concerned.
Bratz (2007)
Brat movie
Bratz, a movie based on the franchise terribly bad and boring!
The premise is not the best, the plot of the film is based on spoiled protagonists rivaling an antagonist who is also spoiled, in a singing competition with a scholarship on the line, and a boyfriend of one of the group of the protagonist girls who is deaf and for some idiotic reason loves music...
Then the film has so many stupid scenes as mentioned little the hearing-impaired boy who listens to music by putting his hands on the speaker to feel the vibrations or like the one of the antagonist who "humigates" one of the protagonists by showing a picture of her on how she dresses in the morning...
The soundtrack then makes you want to rip your ears off from how bad it is.
A pointless film that teases the viewer.
Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals, the Unauthorized PETA Edition (2008)
Mama cooks better turkey!
Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals, why does this game exist? If their goal was to promote vegan cooking, it failed with me (but I think for many).
The gore context of the game was ridiculously put, for example the egg minigame, where you have to break the egg on a bowl and when you break it besides the egg white output there is blood and feathers, or the minigames concerning the turkey.
Then it is also stupid the sudden plot twist where mama, totally at random from being a bloody turkey killer, becomes a vegan imbecile and disgusts us with one of their dishes (I have nothing against vegans as individuals per se, but I find the propaganda in this game annoying)
Ratatoing (2007)
Rats that don't deserve to cook!
Ratatoing, a truly petrifying, hallucinating animated film, which if we want to compare it to a dish, would be bland, disgusting and taste comparable to a rotting carcass!
I start with the animations which really have horrible graphics, it looks like a PlayStation 2 game (without wanting to insult that beautiful console) with flat, wooden and fake movements.
For the plot we have something stupid and arrogant, with so much wrong morals considering that it is a movie designed for children.
For the soundtrack you can say that it is anonymous, it has nothing particular that exceeds, it can be considered the minor problem.
For the dubbing I can't evaluate the original language one, but in English it's okay, even there nothing extraordinary (which compared to the animations and plot, such a movie would deserve dubbing at Dingo Pictures)
In conclusion it has something mediocre, but what little is saved does not hold up with the film's serious flaws.
Starshot: Space Circus Fever (1999)
Starshot: Mediocre Space Circus Fever
Starshot: Space Circus Fever, a platform game that has nothing special about it
The story is simple and has nothing to tell, but if we want to put it bluntly this kind of game the plot has little relevance.
Graphically it is not terrifying, but some minor problems are there, such as cloudy backgrounds and anonymously designed characters, but you can turn a blind eye to it.
The soundtrack is a bit childish and repetitive, but in the end for the target audience of the time it is also okay.
The gameplay is a simple platformer, it is not difficult you can complete it in less than 2 hours, quite trivial, the controls slightly awkward but you can get the hang of it, in short as I keep repeating it is a mediocre game.
London Cab Challenge (2006)
The London cab non-challenge
London cab challenge, a game that has as its intention to badly copy Crazy cab, but without its charm, charisma and without the element of chaoticness that the latter game possesses.
Graphically it is something old if we take into consideration the hardware power of the PlayStation 2, something visually rotten, minimalist and empty, with cars and objects and even buildings appearing out of nowhere really annoying.
For the soundtrack what can I say a little music put on a loop, nothing more....
And last but not least the gameplay, awkward controls, the cab that when dabbing with a car crashes into random walls, then it is a cab game and there is no time limit to transport customers.
Yo! Noid (1990)
Ok, Noid
Yo! Noid, a really mediocre platform game, easy but at the same time difficult, decent and immature.
Graphically it is okay, nice backgrounds to look at but nothing that exceeds, nothing special.
While the gameplay as I wrote a little while ago there are easy levels and tough levels, full of secrets to overcome the various bosses, as for the controls are ok, in short general line I would say it's ok, really it has nothing new for the video game scene, it's just a trivial platform game.
For the soundtrack there are some nice music to listen to, but like everything else it is mediocre.
A game for advertising purposes that has nothing to offer but to rhyme a commercial, mediocre game also deserves a mediocre rating 5 out of 10 stars.
Arab Drift Cars (2021)
Arab car that if you want to drift
Arab Drift Cars, a clone (can it be considered as such?) of GTA, where of GTA has little or nothing it is absurd that such a game was released for PlayStation and has less content than the gta clone games for android.
The gameplay as I wrote a while ago has little or nothing of GTA, there are no pedestrians or other cars, there are no missions (indeed there are, but they are stupid, like getting to a place indicated on the map, to receive achievements nothing more) it has no story and there is not even a reason to drift the car.
Graphically then it doesn't have much, there is a map on a city, and other structures placed randomly on the map.
In my opinion this game has no point.
Bubsy 3D (1996)
Bubsy, you could have stayed in 2D...
Bubsy 3D, an awkward, messy, distorted, warped, unplayable, and badly aged platform game from birth.
I wonder, though, why they made a 3D game if they didn't have the skills to do it? Why would they want to rival super Mario 64 with a game that was poor in content? Questions that will probably never be answered.
Which then the 2D games in my opinion were really good, why ruin a character like Bubsy?
In the game then Bubsy has a really annoying voice and never stops talking.
Not to mention the game's controls, which every time you jump you have to make the sign of the cross and hope it goes into the right platforms.
The game environment then, really lazy even for the first PlayStation, graphically nonexistent.
In short if you want to hurt yourself play it!
Shrek: Treasure Hunt (2002)
Shrek don't hunt any more treasure please!
Shrek: Treasure Hunt, a terrible game in many (if not all) respects, first and foremost the graphics really age badly already since its release (not to mention the proportions of the objects, in the game Shrek looks much smaller than in the movie) the plot is just stupid basically you are Shrek who has to get some food (and for some reason a suit of armor and fireballs) to have a picnic together with Princess Fiona... That's all.
The mini-games then are either too easy like the fly game or there are unintentionally difficult mini-games like the platform game...
Unintentionally asks you? Well the reason is that these types of levels are laggy and have horrible controls.
Ninjabread Man (2005)
Horrible game
Ninjabread Man, in short a dumb game, where a ninja gingerbread man has to take 8 power bars and face 4 tiring and annoying levels.
And here comes the problem, the player's coping with the levels, with horrible game structure, bad camera movements, annoying game enemies, and awkward controls.
At least graphically it is watchable, nothing mind-blowing but acceptable, even the character design is okay, but the barely sufficing graphics department cannot save this horrible game from its flaws.
Then I quite laugh at the attempt to create a franchise and make a sequel as if anyone is interested in the deepening of the lore...