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Reviews
Red's Dream (1987)
Red's Depressing Reality
Pixar's second CGI creation is an improvement from it's first. The plot is actually pretty depressing. A unwanted unicycle envisions himself being a juggling unicycle in the circus and hearing the cheers of the crowd. The cheers slowly shift into the rain and Red realizes that he is unwanted and sits back in the corner. It's pretty sad. The CGI is not great, but for 1987, it looks good. The clown featured at the circus is also super terrifying. Pennywise has nothing on this clown. It's impressive that they are able to demonstrate an existential crisis with no words, just animation and music.
6 Unicycles out of 10 Pennywises.
André and Wally B. (1984)
This Short Exists
This is a pretty meh short. Considering this was a pioneering and revolutionary short by the team that would go on to be Pixar, this is pretty dull. It's only a minute long with with a bee named Wally B. Bugging (see, I did a funny there) a guy named André. There's no narrative, no character moments, no voices. There's just classical music and André doing a Donald Duck laugh. Don't get me wrong, this is a groundbreaking animation from 19 freakin' 84 which is why this rating is as high as it is, but it terms of criticism, I can't really criticize it. The reason I can't is because there is literally only one minute of film to criticize.
5 Bees out of 10 Fezzes (becuase fezes are cool)
Toy Story (1995)
The First CGI Movie, Still Timeless and Near Perfect
This movie is timeless and near perfect for a reason. The pairing of a fascinating world concept with a funny and engaging story makes this a great movie on it's own. Not to mention that this is the first CGI feature film ever made and it still holds animation wise today.
It kicks off with Andy's birthday and introducing Woody and Andy's toys. There are very distinct and memorable characters like Ham, Slinky, Bo Peep, Rex and more with character traits that make them enjoyable. Woody is the leader of the room, but is kinda arrogant with him being the favorite toy. Everything changes when Andy gets a bunch of presents (seriously though, Andy's friends brought the worst gifts, even Battleship sucks, at least get him Uno or Scrabble or something). One of the presents includes Buzz Lightyear.
Buzz is a lot of fun in this movie. Tim Allen brings a lot of seriousness and great humor due to how deadpan he is. Buzz thinking he's a real space ranger and later realizing he is a toy is a great arc for him. Woody is a great foil to him because of how cynical he is to Buzz and trying to make him realize that he is a toy. I think it's hilarious how jealous Woody gets and how fast his ego is bruised. There are a lot of fun lines from Woody and Buzz bickering, mostly from Woody ("The word I'm searching for - I can't say, because there's preschool toys present."
"BUZZ, LOOK, AN ALIEN!"
"YOU - ARE - A... *TOY*! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear, you're... you're, you're an action figure! *You* are a child's *plaything*!") Also, this is a good of a time as any to mention that the voice acting is fantastic with so much energy. I like that mouths' match up well with their voices which is something even modern movies fail at sometimes.
The course of the movie changes Woody tries to knock Buzz behind the desk, but instead nearly assassinates Buzz by knocking him out the window. Andy's toys almost tear Woody apart, but Andy comes in and takes Woody with him to Pizza Planet. Buzz manages to get onto the car and follows them to the gas station. Buzz then goes ballistic on him and knocks them both out the car. They get left behind, so they hitch a ride to Pizza Planet. They almost get back with Andy, but Buzz gets distracted by a rocket claw game. We then get introduced to the iconic green spacemen who are very funny and almost could have become the equivalent to certain small yellow one eyed creatures that overstayed their short welcome. Thankfully, Pixar used them wisely and they still are funny.
We then get reintroduced to the main antagonist and future drug dealer, Sid. Sid wins Woody and Buzz at the claw game and gets a kick out of torturing them and other mutilated toys. Buzz comes to learn he is a toy and has an existential crisis. It is played both for laughs and handled great emotionally . Woody continues his great arc of lessening his ego and helping Buzz learn what's great about being a toy. Sid then plans to blow up Buzz with a rocket (how Sid purchased this very illegal and dangerous rocket is beyond me). Woody rallies Sid's toys and they manage to traumatize him by coming to life.
Woody and Buzz chase the moving van Andy's in and they almost get left behind, but Woody lights Buzz's rocket and they launch in the air. Buzz manages to fall with style and they make it to Andy. All in all, the movie is super solid and lot of fun. With so many iconic lines and characters, this movie is a classic that still stands the test of time.
Breaking Bad: Pilot (2008)
A Perfect Pilot to a Brilliant Series
The beginning of the story of Walter White is so interesting. The choice to start the episode with in medias res (starting in the middle of the story) is brilliant for two reasons. 1. It puts us right in the action and makes us intrigued. 2. We are invested in learning with timid chemistry teacher ended up in the middle of the desert with a gun and two bodies in a RV.
Being introduced to Walter's family is perfectly handled as well. Skylar, Walter's wife, is supportive, and Walter Jr. Has cerebral palsy and is very witty. Hank, Walt's brother-in-law is rather haughty and Hank's wife, Marie, is disdainful to her sister, Skylar. We learn so much about their personalities from a couple of scenes.
Walter's life and disposition changes on a dime when he learns he has lung cancer. He quits the job he hates in a fit of rage. He assaults teenagers who mock his son. He becomes more bold and aggressive knowing that he seemingly has nothing to lose. He approaches Jesse, a former student turned meth dealer. Their partnership starts perfectly with each learning and relying on one another while despising the other. It's an intricate balance that grows into a friendship and eventually a rivalry. It's great that their personalities are so contrasting, but the actor's chemistry is on point.
I also like that their first meth deal goes south fast. It shows how little they know and it demonstrates how much their skills and street smarts develop throughout the show. It also helps us know that Jesse is actually out of his depth even though he thinks he knows what he's doing.
I also really like the juxtaposition from how Walt holds the gun at the beginning/ ending of the episode to how Walt holds Hank's gun at his birthday party. It really shows the change he has undergone due to cancer and the drive and the power that has awakened in him.
The camera movement and cinematography is also fantastic. It's a good demonstration of what the show will show in the future in terms of directing. All in all, this is a great pilot and a fantastic episode.
10 veggie bacons out of 10 pounds of meths.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
A Bad Love Story or A Bad Political Thriller?
There are so many bad ideas within this movie that they completely overcome the few good ideas seeded with the movie. The acting from incredible actors is wooden due to George Lucas' influence. No emotion is shown whatsoever in their faces except Anakin's whiny anger. Jar Jar Binks is still around to put everyone in a bad mood. This movie has more action than the previous one, but it feels mindless and unexciting. Obi-Wan gets more characterization, but only a little bit. Anakin's only character traits are being disrespectful or being angry at everything. Padme apparently hasn't aged at all since the last movie which makes it okay for Anakin to be a creepy and horny to her. The writing is awful (I wish that I could just wish away my feelings). The plot happens on a whim and the characters only end up at certain locations so the movie can happen. A very disappointing sequel to the prequel.
5 Clones out of 10 Not just the Men, but the Women and Children, too.
Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi: Life and Death (2022)
A Slow, but Pleasant Start
This series has an interesting episode premiere with giving a origin to Ahsoka Tano. It is fun to see the culture Ahsoka grew from. Ahsoka is featured as a baby and her mother is taking her to go hunting (not that Ahsoka is going to be able to contribute). Ahsoka's mother is teaching her interesting themes of life and death. The themes of knowing when to take life or not and Ahsoka surviving play well into her future arc. This is an interesting short that doesn't contribute too much story wise, but it is still visually beautifully and has some interesting themes. The ending is interesting with Ahsoka's parents' concern over her future as a Jedi with the power and responsibility that is in her future.
7 Baby Ahsokas out of 10 Baby Grogus.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Phantom Movie
There's the seeds for interesting ideas such as pod racing, a corrupted Jedi Council and Darth freakin' Maul, but the movie is weighed down by a dull story and awful writing. I never would imagine seeing poop or fart jokes in a Star Wars movie, but here we are. The only interesting character in the movie is Qui-Gon Jinn, but the problem is that he dies at the end. Obi-Wan isn't even a main character, he is always in the background with zero character development. This isn't really a Star War and more of a political skirmish. For the record, Star Wars has always been political, but it is mostly in the background with the story demonstrating it. None of the actors get to show emotion because of George Lucas' directing. The action is enjoyable, but is surrounded by a dull story. The camera movement is static with all the characters just standing around CGI set. The CGI characters look impressive, but aren't integrated into the scene well. All in all, interesting ideas within a dull movie.