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abmure
Reviews
The Paradise Motel (2022)
HORRIBLE
This is truly the worst movie ever made. Walter should never act, direct or write ever again. I think he edited the movie as well. He should never do that again either. Nothing made sense. Not one thing. I genuinely don't think Walter has ever heard humans speak to each other before. The dubbing was absolutely atrocious. It was way off. Sometimes a cut to the next "scene" would happen while the dubbing from the previous scene was still finishing. I hope to God that no one was paid for this monstrosity and they did it as a favor to Walter because he "always wanted to make a movie." Well, you made it Walt. Please don't ever do it again.
Mommy Is a Murderer (2020)
A zero
I have never seen such a terribly written, casted, filmed and edited movie aside from London Mitchell's Christmas (watch at your own risk). I mean, I don't even know where to start because absolutely nothing makes any sense. The editing is absolutely horrific. There is a part in the movie that I had to rewind three times because I thought I was losing my mind: Randomly, a screen pops up that makes it seem as if someone is recording the two main characters while they're talking at a restaurant. WHY?! There is literally no transition into this part of the movie and its never explained. Almost nothing is explained in this movie to the point that even I, cannot explain it. Only watch this if you have a penchant for torture like me and like to get upset at really bad movies. I don't know who pays the people at Lifetime to make terrible movies but I want in on the payroll because clearly everyone is being paid to do nothing.
London Mitchell's Christmas (2019)
I've seen A LOT of bad movies but this takes the cake
This has got to be the worst movie ever written, casted, filmed, and edited. I actually am not even sure there was a clear script. The actors kinda just said anything. The protagonist is absolutely unlikeable. He hits on everything he sees to the point that it's sexual harassment. He isn't in his kids' lives and lies to them to flounder around with women. He's terrible to his staff of 2 at his casting firm? It's not clear what he does aside from abuse the two women who work for him. Then, he gets prostate cancer (how you find out is very odd) and we're supposed to feel bad for him cuz it's also Christmas. The actor playing London Mitchell has the worst delivery ever; it's actually frightening. He's predatory and scary. He doesn't get back in his kids' lives until he gets cancer and then tries to redeem himself I guess and get back with his ex-wife who is played by RHOA's original cast member, Lisa Wu. It's just all so bad and I just finished watching Lifetime's Mommy is a Murderer; this movie is worse than that. Do not watch this movie if you're expecting anything. Expect nothing at all and you will be fine. Don't ask me why I finished this movie. I could not tell you aside from I, apparently, have a penchant for torture.
I really hope this movie was "acted" voluntarily because no one should be paid for this. And the people who made this and directed it should be punished. The best actor in this "film" was the first doctor-so much so that they put her in for Emmy consideration. I looked that isht up. But, the best turd in the toilet is still a turd. This movie gets a zero from me, dawg. Watch it only if you like really terrible movies and like to get upset about the absurdity of it all cuz that's a hobby for some.