spunkins Reviews

ER: Think Warm Thoughts (1998) Season 4, Episode 11

So boring

[1/10 · 19 March 2024]

This episode is one that can be skipped. It just drones on and on. In fact, it seemed to drag on for so long that I started to wonder if it was a double episode special that ran for double time.

Nothing particularly notable or consequential happens throughout its whole length, until finally (and mercifully) the credits start to roll.

The recent influx of new characters hasn't helped the series at all... the horrible Ginger English woman (with the plum in her mouth, the short surgeon (with the little man syndrome), the corporate management bore. Finally that bearded insidious lawyer is also an unwelcome addition.

I hope that the series picks up again, soon.

ER: Ambush (1997) Season 4, Episode 1

One of the worst ER episodes

[1/10 · 17 March 2024]

Just boring, chaotic filming that induces motion sickness.

No story line, no character arc nor development - just a pseudo documentary episode, that tries to emulate COPS. Maybe it was part of a failed attempt of a crossover episode that was fashionable at that time.

Totally pointless, and can be easily skipped without losing any background to the rest of the series.

It is just a flood of ER admittances, quickly shot in succession, with little or no time to explain each patients background or history.

At times there are attempts at humour which fall flat on their face.

I have typed this whilst the episode was running, and finally the credits have appeared! Thank god for small mercies.

Just terrible.

ER: Take These Broken Wings (1996) Season 2, Episode 21

When will it end???!

[1/10 · 15 March 2024]

The most boring and annoying storyline ever. Hopefully it will end soon, I can't take much more of the misery and the disgustingly ugly sister, Chloe, with the weird elongated chin. Horrific acting by a horrific actress.

Baby, baby, baby... it never stops. Little wonder that the actress who plays Dr. Lewis left the series - she must have been as bored and embarrassed by the plot as much as we are. Acting that character must have seemed like a real "career killer".

The episode isn't helped by Ross's almost incestuous relationship with his father's bird. Just weird. Full stop.

The past few episodes have caused the series to tank.

ER: A Miracle Happens Here (1995) Season 2, Episode 10

Did you hear the sleigh bells?

[10/10 · 14 March 2024]

It really was Father Christmas!

That alone was pretty mind blowing..!

But this episode also offers a great "feel good" factor. There's plenty to be happy about in this heart warming episode.

It is even possible that one of the gang bamgers became a man of faith, after the shooting , and sad death, of their local priest.

The recovery of the infant is analogous to the coming of Christ.

All in all this is a really rather "spiritual" episode - cleverly done.

And this review is coming from someone who is a committed pagan - I even surprised myself by how much I enjoyed this particular episode.

Fargo (2014–2024)

Season 2 is dire

[2/10 · 9 March 2024]

None of the characters are engaging and you just end up hoping that they all die, they are that awful. Especially the blonde dips-- wife and Todd (from Breaking Bad) - they are just morons. The wife definitely has a whiff of Skyler or Carmella, awful characters that are just despicably bad.

The cops are the only interesting folks and (especially) the calm speaking enforcer (with the Bathroom Brothers) - they have well developed characters that are possible to empathise with.

The Gerhard family are just vile, but even then you end up finding yourself hoping that they will savage the blonde dim wife, and put us all out of our misery.

Season one was amazing and I couldn't wait to watch the next episode. Series two I just wanted to watch something else all the way through. "The Bunny Game" would be more entertaining.

Reacher (2022– )

"Reach around" would have been a better name.

[1/10 · 24 January 2024]

Where do I start? Well, here are some random phrases:

Not very good at all. Lame drivel. Quite boring in fact. Not worth spending time on. Shallow character development. Flimsy plots riddled with holes. Cheap and tacky sets. Poor production values.

This show needs to get some new producers and new writers if it is going to stay the course and not just fizzle out after one season.

There is much better stuff out there to watch. Don't waste your time on this poorly thought out and executed trash.

Even "The bunny game" is better than this crazy Tom-foolery. Watch that, you will enjoy it, trust me.

L.A. Law: Silence Is Golden (1994) Season 8, Episode 17

Pathetic - Final nail in coffin

[1/10 · 13 October 2023]

Awful is the only word that can describe the new actor and associated plot direction. Smarmy and poorly executed could also be applied to both, respectively..

Basically, watching this series at this point onwards is like being in a private hospital ward, sitting next to a bed containing a terminally ill relative on life-support waiting for it all to end and finally be over.

The plots are flailing around, the series is haemorrhaging actors - the turnover of actors is quite astonishing, a veritable revolving door of talent. It's a shame but the heady heights of series 1-4 will never be attained again.

Of Silence (2014)

What a load of carp

[1/10 · 13 September 2023]

I have had more fun staring at my kitchen wall and watching the greasy condensation slowly collect and run down over the gloss paint.

The first 25% of the film literally nothing happens... a bloke comes home and walks around his house. Then some people turn up and talk about painting the walls.

I didn't think that there could ever be anything worse than Lost, but this manages to make the grade.

This film must have been the result of a friendly bet between producers as to who can make the worst film ever.

Avoid at all costs and watch the Bunny Game instead, which is a much better quality film.

My Name Is Earl: Kept a Guy Locked in a Truck (2007) Season 2, Episode 14

Pretty weak and boring

[1/10 · 8 September 2023]

This is the weakest episode so far, and seeing that season 2 is not much good overall, this is no mean feat.

The on-going Joy arc has dragged this second season down overall. Apart from the obviously superlatively classic "Buried Treasure" episode.

You'll be glad when this one finishes. Who gives a crap about a character that never actually said anything and had no character development..? He was just some knob in the back of a van for part of an episode.

However, at least the guest star is a welcome change.

What else is there to say about this episode..? Well, not much, to tell the truth.

Ocean's Eleven (2001)

So sad

[1/10 · 21 August 2023]

At first I thought "Ooh great, loads of stars" and then, as the film progressed, that they don't actually do anything interesting.

In addition to the points raised by others: Lack of character development or arc; poor acting; etc., one of the things that struck me the most was the state of Julia Roberts! Had she just been filming a zombie flick and neglected to change her makeup?! Jeez, especially during the scene, when they were admiring the art and painting. I actually adjusted my screen thinking that there was no way in hell that she was *meant* to look that bad.

Also, what is with the ridiculous "Pinch"? Was this meant to be a sad attempt at a comedic camp 1970s Sci-Fi movie? Even the sound effects were sadly retro. Surely a small black box - or (seeing as it was stolen from a research lab) some wire-wrapped prototype board or a collection of loose PCBs - would have been more appropriate and realistic.

But the worst of all is Clooney's smarmy face. I was constantly waiting for him to plug his highly-inefficient unecological pathetic tiny little planet-polluting Nespresso pods. What a massive bellend that guy is, overall..!

Ironside: The Priest Killer (1971) Season 5, Episode 1

Overly long and boring

[1/10 · 22 July 2023]

Beside the fact that this episode is way too long and interminably boring, the main disappointment is that the most elegant and gracious Eve has been given the boot. A real loss to the cast, and now the show has a weird unfamiliar feel, and you know that it will never be the same again.

Similar to how Kojak changed format and theme tune in the last series, thereby sounding its death knell.

Nevertheless it is good to see Anthony Zerbe (from Harry O) staring.

The Sarge bloke gets on my nerves, even though he is a good actor.... This episode is clearly just a crappy pilot for Sarge to have his own show.

To sum up: long, boring and needlessly prolonged. A disappointing start to season 5 and a terrible new direction for the show, overall.

Interstellar (2014)

What a load of boring carp.

[1/10 · 6 July 2023]

Tried. So many times to watch this nonsense and today I finally succeeded.

Firstly, the sound is terrible with very uneven sound levels. Loads of whispering especially from the lead actor. . Then over-the-top rocket noises. One finds themselves having to constantly lean forward to change the volume dial.

This may impress those without a PhD in astrophysics but I'm afraid it did not appeal to me. Way too much nonsense ... making a movie hours and hours way too long does NOT make a stupid movie anymore intelligent - it merely magnifies it's ridiculous premise.

By the way, don't even get me started on the method of propulsion of that daft robot.

How could such rubbish ever be made? Did the director, after seeing how bad the movie actually was, just give up and walk away from it. The producers should be ashamed of themselves for having funded this pathetic attempt at film making.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Stolen (2001) Season 3, Episode 3

Yawn... booooring

[1/10 · 1 July 2023]

Even watching it at x4 speed this wasn't exciting and it still dragged.

Series one was excellent. Series two was still good, now it's getting boring. There is only so much rape and perversion that one can take. Binge watching this just makes you realise how smart and formulaic the whole series has become.

They find a victim, then after following up a number of false leads, the end is in sight and then a twisted ending with a sting in the tail.

I only started watching this because I wanted to see more of Munch, but he doesn't feature very much.

To be honest, all of the good characters were at the start of series one and then they slowly all got killed off.

I don't think that I can be bothered to finish watching anymore of this current series. I'm out.

Kojak: May the Horse Be with You (1978) Season 5, Episode 19

I'm sort of embarrassed for the writers

[1/10 · 25 June 2023]

With an episode title such as this, it should be fair advance warning that this is an episode to be avoided... unless you are on LSD and want a surreal confusing trip

Totally unlike any any other Kojak episode preceding it, it tries to be funny and along with a comedic western style soundtrack this episode will soon have you wishing you life away in order to hasten the end of the show.

It tries to be funny but it isn't.

The only upside (if it can be called that) are the couple of young ladies who constantly throw themselves at Kojak. The rest of it is totally forgettable.

Nice horsey though... give 'er a carrot as an appearance fee.

Kojak: The Captain's Brother's Wife (1978) Season 5, Episode 16

Just appalling

[1/10 · 24 June 2023]

Who is this woman and why was she hired to ruin a good TV series..? Were the producers in kamakazi mode or did the mob have something on them and pressure them into it?

I thought that I had seen some bad episodes earlier but this one just takes the biscuit! It is (as some other reviewer has already noted) just the worst episode ever. In fact, it makes me want to change the previous one star reviews into ten star reviews as this episode is so superlatively bad that it makes all of the other bad episodes seem like amazing epics.

The ignorance of this character, the annoying plot, the repetition of the idiocy all makes this episode boring as hell.

Avoid at all costs.

Kojak: The Queen of Hearts Is Wild (1977) Season 5, Episode 1

Worst theme tune change ever!!!

[1/10 · 22 June 2023]

The rating is for the theme tune and not the episode itself.

My god, this is the worst theme tune change ever. What was wrong with the previous classic Kojak theme tune.

There is little wonder that the series completely collapsed shortly after this theme tune was released upon the world. No further series of Kojak were ever made afterwards. It is as if this theme tune was the death knell.

It is just awful, loads of psychedelic flashing letters and a weird tune and loads of fake flashing cheerful scene.

What were they trying to do? Give the series a more upbeat opening? The series is meant to be dark and brooding and reflect the scummy underbelly of NY in the 1970s.

Pathetic attempt.

Kojak: Where Do You Go When You Have Nowhere to Go? (1976) Season 4, Episode 13

Boring.

[1/10 · 20 June 2023]

Angry young man rubbish. Chip on the shoulder, endless complaining. Whine whine whine. Anger management issues. Poor me, I'm so hard done by. The world owes me a living. I'm Crazy and wacky too.

It gets tiresome to watch and you'll soon wish that you could have a stroke just so that you don't have to watch it any second longer than you have too

Poor acting by both of the "star actors". In fact it is so bad that you almost feel embarrassed for them . Pretty bad plot too.

He can't even be bothered to put bait on his hook when fishing.

A real yawn fest.

Do yourself a favour and watch a different episode.

Enemy of the State (1998)

Pathetic

[1/10 · 15 June 2023]

This film is just awful.

Not only is it ruined by staring Fresh Prince of Bell End but the pathetic futuristic tech is so implausible that it beggars belief.

The best part are the classic zoom-in-on-grainy-video-footage-and-hit-"Enhance". As old as the books and still flawed.

Save your time and life and don't watch this. You'd be better off watching old 1970s episodes of Kojak... much more entertaining and plausible.

Gene Hackman is good though, as would be expected. He truly is a classic star.

Watch the so called prequal "The conversation". Much much much better. And no Fresh Prince to boot.

Over and out...

Kojak: My Brother, My Enemy (1975) Season 3, Episode 2

Boring and long winded

[1/10 · 11 June 2023]

This episode drags terribly and is made even worse by having the moronically Neanderthal Stallone as the main player, with all of his wooden acting included. Oh my god, so so so boring.

This episode is undeniably the worst Kojak episode up to this point. Avoid watching it and you will not regret it.

How this actor rose to such heights really beggars belief.

The only purpose this episode could possibly serve is its "dilation of time" effect, by making 45 minutes seem like three hours.

If you have the box set, I highly recommend that you just burn the disk containing this episode. You can thank me later.

I Dream of Jeannie: My Son, the Genie (1967) Season 3, Episode 13

Boring and childish

[1/10 · 28 March 2023]

The junior genie is just awful and ruins the whole episode. Avoid this one at all costs, you'll never get that time back again and life is short.

Series 3 is quite bad in fact. Each series just gets worse. The first series was great. The second was ok and this third one is just terrible.

It makes the mind wonder just how much worse it will get in series 4 and 5.

Watch this one at x2 speed whilst on in the background so that you don't waste much time on it. Do something productive whilst it is running, like writing IMDb reviews or cooking your breakfast or cleaning the bathroom or hoovering.

I Heart Huckabees (2004)

Utter jibberish

[1/10 · 3 March 2023]

My god, what is this drivel actually about..? It really is just a word salad.

Everybody knows the old saying "Give a thousand monkeys typewriter and they will come up with the complete works of Shakespeare, eventually"? Well, this... this steaming pile must have been written by just one monkey on a word processor.

So called top level actors can't put lipstick on a pig and they fail to make this steaming pile anymore palatable... in fact you have to wonder what they were thinking when signing up for this project. Was it just the dollar signs? However, they can't have been paid that much as I can't see this script raising much capital investment. It is just utter nonsense.

Mrs. Columbo: Word Games (1979) Season 1, Episode 1

For the love of god... make it stop!!!!

[1/10 · 21 February 2023]

This is just about the most appalling, most terrible show that I have ever had the misfortune to watch.

Ok, so the dog, Dog, is present. Be thankful for small mercies.

The part where his young daughter talks to Lieutenant Columbo on the phone and he is apparently wearing his Mac in bed is just sad and reeks of desperation... a grasping for some sort of credibility.

Terrible acting from some Z-list nobody actress as Mrs. Columbo.

It is both sad and downright disgusting that this show had to be made and then foisted upon the masses. People should have been rioting in the streets and burning down film studios, and yet the passive masses just sat and watched this drivel whilst eating their TV dinners.

What a sad sad world we live in.

Columbo: Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo (1990) Season 9, Episode 4

Barely watchable

[1/10 · 20 February 2023]

Whilst the episode features the great Ian McShane, I sadly found it to be a seriously lacking story. I had really been looking forward to watching this episode, however Mr McShane really does not feature as prominently as he should. Instead some wishy washy female lead takes up most of the screen time.

The audio quality was appalling (distorted and hardly intelligible) and the video quality was shockingly low, like a worn out VHS tape. Both of these issues made the watching experience extremely painful.

Save your time and skip this pathetic episode. As with most episodes from the 90s, it is not worth the effort watching.

Columbo: Short Fuse (1972) Season 1, Episode 6

Roddy McDowall gives me the creeps

[1/10 · 19 February 2023]

He's such a weird freak that it ruins the whole episode for me... hence the low score. He made this particular show unwatchable, which is a real shame.

He should have just stuck to dressing up like an ape, he was good at that.

Youthful Peter Falk is excellent as usual and gives a great performance. Whereas Roddy just makes your skin crawl and he certainly isn't someone that you'd want to leave your kids alone with.

It's funny how a guest star can really make or break a show. McDowall and Shatner both kill the episodes that they appear in, whereas Donald Pleasance really makes the episode that he appears in, one of the best of the whole series.

Columbo: Murder with Too Many Notes (2001) Season 10, Episode 13

Just terrible

[1/10 · 14 February 2023]

Watch this at x2 speed as it isn't worth wasting your life watching it at normal speed.

Pathetic slapstick with endless comedic fillers that take an eternity to pass.

What with all of the classical music, this episode is clearly meant to be high brow, but sadly comes across as Fred Quincy cartoon.

Man, this is episode so boring which is a shame as I was looking forward to watching this episode as it stars the great Billy Collony, however, it just fell flat on its face.

Sadly this last series of Columbo really shouldn't have been made, let alone aired. Really anything after series 5 is just terrible.