PeterWorthers Reviews

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

It took them 4 movies to FINALLY get it right

[10/10 · 23 May 2023]

I went into this movie expecting the worse but within a few minutes i had a smile on my face and the worries vanished.

FINALLY a Dungeons and Dragons movie that gets 'IT".

Now we can sit here and nit pick small things that were 'wrong' or that 'could have been done' or how it was 'too funny' or 'not serious enough' or not 'true to the game' all you want, but it comes down to this: Honor Among Thieves doesn't capture any of that stuff, its not about the game or the world or the characters, its about us.

The movie is literally a love letter to our long gone childhood (or last week for some of us) when all of us nerds were sitting around a table with our friends going on magical adventures together, safe in worlds of our own making where we were accepted without question by others that were just as weird/diffrent that we accepted without question.

Its about that feeling of being on a grand adventure bigger than ourselves and not having a clue what to do but having a great time trying and the entire while hoping that it would never end.

If this movie doesn't bring back that same feeling deep inside you that you thought was gone forever, then you missed the point of the movie.

Its point is to remind us of how great we were and still are and after everything that has and is oing on in the world today I think we really needed that reminder.

Prey (I) (2022)

Lets Prey they don't make a follow up to this one

[2/10 · 9 August 2022]

Spoilers here folks.....

Here we go again, more Hollywood big types thinking they know everything tat everyone in the worlds wants to see in a movie and can put together a fresh take on an old property that will appeal to everyone in 2020 without offending anyone. Sure, why not? That's always worked...right?

Prey starts out like Dancing with Wolves, scenic vistas and the Comanche Nation going about their lives, until we meet the main character then the plot becomes, 'You said I can't, so I'm going to prove I can and be damned all the people who die selflessly because of it, I'm better than all of you and you're going to see because I'm going to force you to see." - That's it. We've seen it a million times... Spoiled kid thinks she's better than everyone else and will prove it no matter the cost on everyone else plot line. The Predator is just there to help sell tickets.

I sat through the whole hour 40, fast forwarding through some scenes, cringing at most all to see if there was a payoff at the end. Was there? I mean honestly, was there? When you have to dumb down the ultimate killing machine to match the wits of someone from the 1700s all you do is cheat the game.

I do need to gripe, and since you're here, let me unload......

0-The acting, my god it was amateurish. Not well done at all, it's like they hired everyone who ticked off all the boxes they had but didn't hire anyone who could actually ACT. The CGI

1-Once I saw the title in the sky like that, I knew I was in for it. With the title that way it instantly went down to Wal-Mart $5 bin movie. Maybe they should have gone the Batgirl direction with this one?

2-Lights in the sky and loud noises, think nothing of it. No reason to be scared or fear our gods are angry, we're primitive people, but we're also intelligent by 2020 standards so there's obviously a logical explanation for it.

3-I get the Predator can turn itself invisible, I get that, but for over 75% of the movie? And during fight scenes? You can't see half of what's going on onscreen because they pan behind the invisible Predator so you get blurry views of parts of the move that are supposed to be tense of pointing out clues.

4-The Predator, combined screen time (and I'm adding in the invisible scenes which is the bulk of the movie) 5 maybe 10 minutes. Why even bother?

5-The CGI. Holy crap was it bad! You could tell that the animals were animated no matter what they did, sit, run, growl, poop...it makes the CGI Rock in the Scorpion King look like it should have won Academy Awards.

6-The characters. There were none you wanted to root or care for. For some reason we're supposed to feel bad for the main girl Naru, but she was so selfish, self-centered and delusional that you hate her straight off. The men in the tribe are so mean and full of themselves and their egos that you don't care if they die. The mother medicine woman was so 2 faced that she was unlikable as well. I would have rooted for the Predator but I didn't see him half the time!

7-Is Naru superman or something? She can walk through a camp of French hunters with guns and knives, fight ever single on one by one and no one touches or even puts a scratch on her? Goes up against the Predator and nothing bad happens to her but almost dies because she's (obviously) sitting in waist high mud?

8-And just to show how much better she is than everyone else she keeps getting smarter and smarter! Is told once by mouth how to use a gun and instantly she's an expert. Strange creature trying to kill me, I saw then use their weapons once and now I'm an expert on alien technology. Need to fight the alien with my axe, that's cool because suddenly I'm Q from James Bond and just fix it up to be the ultimate weapon. Got caught in a metal trap I've never seen before, no problem, I'm now an expert on what they are and how to use them to my advantage.

9-She claims to be smarter and better than everyone thinks she is and keeps trying to prove it, yet every situation she found herself in was caused by her! From the bear, to the lion, to her brother dying, to every other warrior dying to the quicksand/swamp thing. She was the reason those things happened; it wasn't coincidence!

10-The Predator keeps getting clawed or bit and seems to bleed all over the place, yet they only find a small bit of its blood on a leaf. Where's it all going? From the looks of things there should be a trail of green leading allover those woods.

11-The Ending, that was terrible. It seemed like they ran out of ideas and needed to show that the girl won really quick so they tacked that on for good measure. It served no purpose.

12-So she's a warrior now and no one is going to question where all the other warriors are? Where's your brother? - Nope, you proved us wrong! We love you and fully accept you now without question.

13-The jokes didn't land at all and were worthless. And for a movie that was supposed to be a prequel and its own thing that shouldn't be judged by the other movies since this is a new fresh take on the property, they sure had no problem recycling a line from the first movie into an awkward scene.

14-That awkward scene, Seriously, they're tied to a tree (not that well if they can slide down easily) in the middle of this huge fight going on around them and they have a 5-minute conversation all the while nothing hits or happens to them and she (during all the carnage) get out scratch free and looking better than they did when they were there.

I really could go on but I'll spare you.

In short, the idea for this movie probably looked awesome on paper and in story boards but on screen is just as stale as all the hundreds of other 'New retellings' Hollywood has come out with. You can change the franchise, the characters and situations but the same storylines are getting tiresome.

I dare Hollywood to explain to me how this is better than Predators or The Predator or even AVP: Requiem.

Resident Evil (2022)

This RESIDENT doesn't dEVILer - You get what I mean

[2/10 · 19 July 2022]

Oh boy, where to start on this one.

First off, I'm a Resident Evil Fan, own/played all the games, all the books, all the movies and shows so this was a disappointment to me as a 'Resident Evil' show.

Toss that out the window and forget the RE aspect and the show is even more painful to watch, I gave up tons of times during the 1st-3rd episodes, why I kept watching is a mystery.

90% of the time I'd be watching a scene or hear a stupid line and facepalm, A LOT of facepalming went on, I'm not proud of it. Especially when the two teens were on the screen together, by the 5th episode on I would fast forward through those scenes, they were just SO BORING and TERRIBLY acted. Any time they were together they talked about the same things over and over and over again, only in a different order and one pissed off but the other not and in a different place.

RE is painfully slow with character development, especially in the 2020 flashback scenes which are really angry unrealistic teen drama clips in reality, and they appear at times when the future timeline is getting interesting. Action scene building, building something is about to happen, BOOM! Now a 30-minute scene from 2020 where the two teen characters argue over if they think a boy is cute then back to the action scene in the future. By that time, you don't care anymore because you're trying to figure out how the 2020 scene had anything to do with the future action scene...Spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with it.

It tries too hard to insert humor into situations that don't need humor and so it feels out of place, awkward or just stupid. A few jokes or snide remarks actually hit but I'm talking about a small handful out of all the ones thrown out. One second RE is all tense and suspenseful and the next adult Jade is doing an Abbot and Costello bit with a lady and her zombie husband, then making funny remarks about her treatment of cats.

There's even song and dance numbers. No kidding, I'm dead serious. Remember that from the games?

The actors are the worst, especially the teens. The show wants you to get behind the teens but they instantly make you hate them from scene one and as the show goes on you still could care less if they live or die. All young Billie does is stare unevenly at things awkwardly while looking like she's on the verge of bursting into tears and Young Jade seems like she's never acted a day in her life, always looking like she smells something bad and is trying not to let on that she can smell it but not doing a good job at it. EVERY scene these two are in (which is well over 80% of the movie) is CRINGE. They have no chemistry and are not believable at all. They constantly look like teens trying really hard to pretend to be acting like teens. The other 3 kids (I doubt there were that many) that we ever see in this high school are forgettable; along with the 'bully' who I literally couldn't watch on screen, she literally could not act, not believable and the most awkward person ever to be on a screen. There is no way someone saw her audition and said 'This is our new break out star!' and if so, fire them.

The adults aren't any better, Wesker himself is trying to play mysterious but he..pauses..so..much..that it seems like he's forgotten his lines or is mentally making himself be mysterious which comes across as him being bored in every scene he's in.

The future Jade who is surviving on her own in this zombie infested world is the worst out of them but is constantly doing dumb/stupid zombie movie things that should have killed her in the first half hour of the pilot numerous times.

The adult Billie, oh my god, that woman can't act either. Her facial expressions seem pasted on and forced, her lines come out as questions and so much mysterious pausing makes you wonder if she's forgotten what she has to say. It's bad when the bad guy (Baxter) is the only likable character because he's just out for himself and vocalizes what he thinks (what we're saying/thinking) as he sees the events unfold around him, but they kill him so soon and quickly forget about him; but I swear if he said 'cool' one more time I would have killed him.

The zombies (or Zeros) total screen time (and I'm not kidding, I'm being generous here) is about a combined total of 5 - 6 minutes of screen time. And the amount in the scenes are low, like maybe 20ish zombies in a large scene, they appear in handfuls here and there. Like they wasted the budget on CGI instead of zombies for a show about zombies.

Oh yes, the CGI. Some of it is good and seamless, the rest make you PAINFULLY aware its CGI and terrible. The zombie dog: from far away looks good but when the camera focuses on it you can tell it's a fake cartoon looking dog. The mice/rats that they inject in the glass cases, once they start smashing the glass, they become weird looking computer animals. There's even a scene where they try to do an autopsy and when the doctor reaches down and starts an incision, it is the most god-awful use of CGI I have ever seen (I watched it a few more times and each time it got worse and faker) The CGI people should be fired, how half of it passed much less aired is unbelievable to me.

But not just those things, a few certain things bothered me, so if you'll give me a second to vent.....

1: The young girls are what 13 or 14, and they just spew curses and other things at every adult no matter who they are or if they just met them or not. Are teens able to relate to this or is this what adults think kids can relate to?

2: Why is it when every character sees something big/new/shocking they stand there for about 2-3 minutes with their mouth open while the big/new/shocking creature comes at them at full speed? RUN MAN! For this alone all the main characters should have died after 5 minutes of being introduced.

3: Thank God Billie has the same streaks of white in her hair so we can identify it's her only older. Is there still a zombie beauty salon where her and Jade can get their hair done all cut and pretty. Jade alone has been all by herself for 6 months living in a tent in a zombie populated area and yet her hair is perfectly done up and never gets messed up through all her adventure? How is that possible? Zombie strength hair spray? Umbrella, get on that!

4: Do you think you can trust your sister? NO, not just no but hell no, and she tells you she wants to know where the university is and then lets you go so you can be safe? DON'T BE STUPID! She's going to track you! You've been paranoid your whole life and now all of the sudden you forget everything you've been through and because a typical horror movie female victim leading the killer right to the safehouse.

5. Jades daughter - is she the ONLY kid on this ship? And if not, where are all the other kids? As for her, how is it she has full access to everywhere she wants to go in the ship and no one seems to question it. Then finds her way off the boat to cling to her mom on shore as she's about to get caught. WHO IS BABYSITTING HER? Maybe both parents shouldn't be off doing these dangerous things at the same time and one keep their daughter safe!

6: Oh me, Umbrella has some real tuff firewalls - Oops I'm 15 and I just got through. Oh no, the firewalls are tougher now, oops I got through that one too and also hacked into every security camera and appliance in your house, Oopsie!

7: Umbrella Security - You're telling me this huge global corporation Umbrella has no guards posted everywhere at their offices, and that the way to cheat the huge security system is with a flashlight on your head and an answering machine greeting? Are you serious?! That was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen.

8: What the fat flying hell was with the animal mask in Billie's locker? That whole scene thing happened and then nothing else was said about it. It was trying so hard to be weird and mysterious that it just inserted things in for shock value, i guess. We see how well THAT worked out.

9: The jokes - Why did every character have to give smart remarks in the middle of their speeches then look back at the henchmen to see if they agree/laugh with them? What the hell? Are you a bad/good guy trying to do something or is it Showtime at the Apollo? Save it for the song/dance numbers.

10: Huge caterpillar - You mean to tell me you camped on top of this thing for 6 months and didn't know it was below you?! How is that even possible! Besides the point of how do you infect a caterpillar or a single spider! Dogs, cats, bird's things like that I get could be (but weren't) infected, so if a caterpillar was infected, why not ants, or moths or scorpions?

11: Chainsaw - I get it, it's a staple in horror survival games/horror movies and looks cool, but with all these zombies coming after you and all the soldiers falling around you, you didn't stop to get a gun or two? You're just running around awkwardly with this chainsaw revving the whole time then act surprised when it runs out of gas?

12: The first episode ending cliffhanger - I'm just going to jump off this building and into a field of zombies with nothing to survive and as I flail around I land on my feet on the roof of the only vehicle there un-inured without a limp. But I'm not too worried because all the zombies pause before they come after me and when they do have me, they pause and do nothing. Real bloodthirsty if you ask me...*shiver* Scary!

But I digress...

I dare you to find someone who watches this and finds it's the perfect show on Netflix right now. I'm sure most people are watching it trying to figure out exactly what it is: Drama, teen movie, horror, sci-fi, thriller, comedy, m? It's a huge glob of all that while trying to ride on the coat tails of an established franchise that it completely ignores.

Watch for yourself if you want, then get back with me and we'll compare notes.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Texas Chainsaw it before, nothing new here

[22 February 2022]

Here be Texas Chain-spoilers, but I'm not worried because no one will watch this movie... Or will they?... No seriously, don't.

Oh dear lord what have I done so wrong to have to endure this?

Whoever sold this to Netflix certainly took the money and ran far, far away and we are the ones who get stuck with this abomination.

First the good.....Um.....there were killings, yeah.........and Leatherface.....he was there too....there was a chainsaw as well....yes I think I remember seeing one....

As for the bad, I tried to voice my concerns to my wife who had no idea what I was even talking about so if you would allow me to vent to you....

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

1. Traveling into the heart of backwoods Texas from a big city and what is the first thing you do? Insult the natives for no other reason then you believe you are better than them and you want them to know they are all instantly sexists and racists. That'll put you on their good side.

2. Woke multi-ethnic moody modern gen X borderline non-binary social networked better than you teens who have experienced extreme trauma that we will find out nothing about? Check! Don't want them? Too bad, you got tons of them.

3. So you bought a town to show to invertors to make into a haven for hipsters, but you decide to ACTUALLY GO THERE AND GET IT READY for said investors A FEW HOURS before they get there? Nothing can go wrong there. Hold on a sec, need to barge into this house and kick an old lady out, because I'm a modern teen and I can.

4. You have an auction (Why?) and food for everyone, as you told the cops at the beginning; there are 2 experienced chefs there, so why are you trying to 'wow' your investors with crappy hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill?

5. The whole final girl from the first movie hunting Leatherface for 50 years sounds a lot like another mask wearing horror franchise I know, except they actually accomplished what they set out to do, this one was trying so hard to do the same but it was painful and pitiful.

6. The ending, how exactly was it shocking? Explain that to me? Who was watching this movie, saw that and went "Oh my god! Now THAT came out of nowhere! That's a first for this franchise! My Heart!!" You survived, got into your eco-friendly car to speed away at 2 miles an hour, then start joking and open ALL THE WINDOWS! Seriously, how many times has this been done before and now we're suppose to care.

7. The actual end was a rehash of the original ending except this time no one cared. The teen he just killed seriously should have been killed a half hour earlier at at least 3 points in the movie, and her sister 'getting away' in the car? Leather face could have just killed here very easily. Why let her live? So she can vlog about it?

8. The bus massacre scene. Instead of trying to get out a window or maybe the emergency exit you just hide in the bathroom and are surprised the he knows your in there. Then when your sister finds a magical escape exit (after everything you have just gone and are going through) you decide to give up right there?

9. Not one character really showed any true terror, they just seemed to go through the motions and as the movie went on you could see all the terror or trauma or emotion vanish and characters either had too little emotion concerning the events around them or overreaction to the point of comedy. I'll sum it up like this, all of the actors in this movie all added up equal 1 Hayden Christianson in both the prequel trilogies he was in.

10. Guy just died after loosing all this blood falling to the floor, getting up, somehow walking down stairs and out the door about half a block. No one run up to see if this lone figure needs help, everyone stay far away and continue to ask if they need help. Then tell everyone to get to the bus and stay calm as you leave the dead guy out in the sidewall in the open for everyone to see.

I could go on and I usually do since there were tons of cringe 'why am I even watching this? Why is this town full of stupid people?' moments but I'll spare you, just because I suffered doesn't mean you have to!

Save yourselves!

Run!

Run up the stairs, into the killers room and hide under his bed with your foot sticking out while he's there killing someone.

A least that way the odds are pretty good he'll kill you so you don't have to watch this.

Halloween (I) (2018)

The night he came home again..again. Not that last time, this is a NEW last time

[8/10 · 19 October 2018]

After waiting so long and going through all the truck loads of hype, the new Halloween is finally upon us and it is Glorious.

This movie is considered the official franchise part 2 to the original Halloween (so forget Halloween 2, or any other for that matter) and we pick up with our favorite scream queen 40 years later. The downside to all this is the plot is literally recycled from Halloween 4 (or part nothing o guess) - Michael is being transported to another place and the vehicle crashes then he escapes. Seriously, if you have seen ANY Halloween movie you got the plot already without even buying a ticket.

Jamie Lee is at her best her, not a scream uttered, she is armed to the teeth and ready for her final confrontation with Michel Meyers. She also brings her daughter and granddaughter along for the ride this time. Theo only problem is that the daughter and granddaughter (as well as most of the other characters in the movie) fit the usual overdone horror movie 'types'.

The daughter (the sceptic who thinks her mother is crazy and demands she get help or she'll never see them again) and Granddaughter (the ditzy teen that wants to fit in but whos boyfriend screws her over at the dance and can not be tracked down when the crap hits the fan) are the worst ones in the movie aside from the father (the typical I'm an idiot man, mean and think Laurie is a nutcase) they are the ones who do the stupid horror movie things 'tripping when the killer is after me' 'talking and shushing loudly when they're hiding from the killer'

The 'final fight' is actually a lot better than you would expect, Michael is not going up against a victim, he's going up against an equal. Much more satisfying than Jason Verses Freddy.

As with all movies I did have a few complaints, so here's my TRICK for this Halloween TREAT:

1: The Granddaughter. She's supposed to be a modern tough woman of today and some times she seems just like that. Then her boyfriend cheats on her and she becomes every female horror movie character in history. Let me take a dark deserted shortcut I don't know home. I'm being chased by a killer, let me run through the deserted roads and bang on every door I can. I'm running through the woods being chased by the killer and I fall. I'm stuck in a vehicle with the bad guy and instead of take offered chances to escape I curl up in the corner and scream constantly. In a dark house followed by the killer, let me walk in and scream you name so he knows where we are.

2: The husband. I can not express how much I wanted his character to die. He was supposed to come across as a tough love type of guy but it just played out as a dumb guy who was a huge jerk.

3: The Easter eggs. It was cool seeing things from the other movies here and there, but it got to the point where almost every other shot was a re-creation of a scene from the original Halloween. I see the irony in the scenes and the tribute to the other movies, but at the same time I thought this was a new movie? Why keep copying the others? If I wanted that it'd just watch the original Halloween again. Also at one point you see three kids in the skeleton, the witch and the pumpkin masks from Silver Shamrock (Halloween 3, season of the witch) but if the other sequels didn't happen, did the silver shamrock company ever make those masks? But if they did then....OUCH! MY BRAIN!!

4:The Halloween dance. During their 'argument' Allyson's boyfriend takes her phone and throws into (from what I could tell was a large glass bowl of vanilla pudding) and she just storms out. Really? As a teenage girl you're just gonna leave a thousand dollar IPhone stuck in pudding, with all our selfies and social media stuff and phone numbers, and not care about loosing all that? SURE.

5: The British journalists. How did Michael know they were at the cemetery anyhow? They had a good day and a half if not two days to go anywhere, how did Michael track them down so quickly? Did he put a GPS tracker in his mask just in case? He must be really good at those pictures with hidden objects in them games.

6: The therapist. His plot twist wasn't that much of a shock, you looked at him in the first scenes and thought "There's something not right about this weirdo." Hasn't this been done a billion times? Luckily this plot thread is stomped out quickly...get it? STOMPED?....Go watch the movie then re-read that.

7. Laurie vs the neighborhood. So she knows Michael is there, ok. She goes there to kill him, ok. But once she gets there she starts flashing and swinging a gun around everywhere scaring people off? Then runs into the cop and he's just "Oh, you're here to shoot and kill Michael, weird, so am I!"

8: The little babysat kid. I don't know who that kid is but someone needs to give him his own series, he was hilarious. His jokes were funnier than any the jokes written into the script.

9: The jokes. The bulk of them fell flat or where not needed. Like did we need a 5 minute comedy bit about the two cops lunches? It seemed like the movie was purposely stopped at certain times just for the jokes.

10: Head butts. Apparently being locked up for 40 years give Michael enough time to trademark his new head butt killing move. Almost half the victims were head butted to death into a wall, door, car door, gate, a table, window; you name it he's slammed some poor unsuspecting schmucks head into it.

11: The daughter and granddaughter in the bunker. The killer is above you, you are hiding in this bunker full of weapons and you start talking really loud to each other? Shut up! The whole idea of hiding is so that no one will find you. Also, you're in the bunker and no one thought to get a gun from the closet full of guns until the very last second? Do either of you really want to live? Also Laurie in the bunker earlier, she and her daughter are safe and what does she do? SHOOTS UP AT MICHAEL GIVING AWAY THEIR HIDING SPOT! If you're gonna do something as stupid as that first off, what good is the 40 years worth of training for?

12: Laurie spying on Michael. You're in your car trying to drink your way to enough courage to shoot Michael and what weapon out of your huge heavy duty gun armory do you bring to finish him off once and for all? A small pistol. You were really going to get the chance you've wanted for 40 years and use the noisy cricket?

13: The deletion of the other movies in the franchise. Here is my main problem with it. This is now the official sequel to the original. Ok. But though it everyone keeps calling him a monster and an unstoppable force. Lets think about that. A dude kills 5 people in the 70s (Like the drug kid said, is pretty small by our standards today) and he's considered an inhuman monster? He tried to kill Laurie and was captured so now she KNOWS he's going to come back. Why? He never gave any indication that he would. It could be a one time thing and that's it. Now, if we took this as part 3 and had the original and part 2 stand on its own THEN I'd get it. In part 2 he went bat crap crazy killing 11 people and chasing Laurie around trying to kill her. From that standpoint he WAS an unstoppable monster because he had come back and went on another killing spree. It just seems like trying to categorize him from the first movie makes him a light weight and no one of any importance, certainly no a monster you would use a manhunt to find and kill.

Well, there you have it. My gripes are over.

In the end Halloween delivers on the good old fashioned horror that made the 78 movie so good. This movie has heart, you KNOW the people involved are huge fans. You can tell this was not taken lightly and that this was a labor of love. Hey, seeing as how everything old is new again why not? Its been a while since we've seen Michael at his best and this is it. The fight every ones been waiting for.

This movie may not make you believe in the boogeyman, but like many of us, you'll be glad he came home again.

The House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018)

The clock ticking does not spell doom for this movie

[9/10 · 24 September 2018]

I will admit I have read the book of the same name before I went to see this so I knew what I was getting myself. But as I watched it play out on the screen I realized I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

The plot itself is pretty thin, you will figure it out in a few minutes, its not rocket science; but the movie has everything you need: suspense, mystery, adventure, comedy and some scares thrown in for fun. Its a fun flick to take in which is strange to say considering it is directed by Eli Roth. THAT Eli Roth? Yes, THAT Eli Roth. And he's good, going from hardcore horror to this family fair is extremely impressive.

The actors were on point, Jack Black is funny as he always is (name 1 bad Jack Black movie, I'll wait...no I won't) and is half the hit of the show with the other being Cate Blanchett, who is very lovable in her role. The banter and insults they fling at each other is funny and makes them perfect together.

Add in some magic and witchcraft and a CGI baby body with the adult head of Jack Black on it and BOOM, you have yourself a movie.

A few things did bother me as always:

1. The Kid that played Lewis was ok, his screaming and crying scenes seemed thrown and was really unneeded, it looked extremely forced on his part and made the character seem like a huge wuss.

2.The kid that played Tarby. Oh my god he was TERRIBLE. At one point I wondered if his acting was another scare thrown to get us. NOTHING he did seemed natural, it all looked robotic and sounded like he forgot his lines almost every scene he was in. No emotion, he's a Cylon, mark my words.

3. Sure, point out 'this is my one rule, don't break it' because that ALWAYS works. It would work better if you said 'Open this cabinet and look at the book inside' then the kid wouldn't want to do it because the adult wants them to do it. Problem solved.

4. So the lady across the street can hear him play sax at 3am, what about those who live next door? Or behind his house? No one sees the huge cat bush running around or the pumpkins come alive? No neighborhood watch?

5. So Lewis is so scared of the flying books he falls to the ground and screams like a little girl, yet once they rescue him he has enough courage to grab the plans sitting on the table in the middle of the room?

6. Some of the dialogue didn't seem to fit the scene it was in. Just saved the world and escaped death, "Mrs. Zimmerman, I'm sorry you lost your family." What? Why was that needed? Seemed really silly to me.

7. Lots of back story and explanations were thrown out just toss us into this world. I would love to have discovered more about these characters back stories.

8. Lewis' mom (Also Eli Roths wife) seemed to be trying too hard to be sly or enigmatic that she came across as fake.

9. "Teach me to be a warlock." "No" "Please, please, please." "OK, fine" Wow, way to stick by your guns there Jack.

10. So Lewis is the one who resurrected Isaac but what would they have done if Lewis hadn't been there for them to sucker into doing their dirty work? Seems like their entire plan rested on the hope that an orphaned boy would walk into to their lives.

There were a few more but I won't bore you.

Overall this was a great movie, the plot alone will get you interested and once it does, get ready for a fun ride that doesn't let go until the end.

It's a welcome sight among to many 'meh' movies of late.

The Predator (2018)

If he was in town with a few days to kill, he wouldn't waste them watching this movie

[16 September 2018]

I seriously have no idea where to start on this one.

Going into this movie i had a mix of excitement (I like the Alien and Predator franchises so I'm a fan) and 'Meh' (after watching the trailers: which everyone was so excited over and that found boring and not exciting what so ever)

I was not disappointed on the last part. Honestly; I have seen better movies shot by fans in their back yard on a camcorder. At least those have heart and...whats the word I'm looking for? Oh yea, AN ACTUAL PLOT THAT WASN'T RIPPED OFF FROM A HUNDRED OTHER MOVIES BEFORE IT.

Forcing my way through this movie (I figured there had to be a good scene hidden i it somewhere. Spoiler alert: there wasn't) i wound up rolling my eyes more than anything. It was almost like they had a bunch of scripts, cut and paste the 'best' scenes from them all into one, added crappy jokes and that was they best they could produce.

The characters are thrown in and you are expected t like them, no back story other then they introduce themselves, some don't even get that before they are thrown into the action. The action itself seemed thrown in there for the sake of action, most of it was not needed, if the Predator is as smart as 'it should have been' it would never have gotten mixed up in any of the rag tag humans 'plans' or 'traps'.

But there were many other things that bothered me, such as:

1: This secret group has been studying the Predator for years, are supposed to be experts, then once they get an actual living specimen they call in a civilian that has no experience to tell them what they SHOULD have already known. If they knew nothing about them, what have they been doing there all those years other then making snazzy Predator weapon dioramas?

2: For being a sniper, this dude sure did move around a lot and talk too loudly into his too loud radio.

3: Alien equipment, government is going to kill me for it, need to hide it somewhere safe. I'll mail it to my wife and kid. That's a safe idea right?

4. Munns character is a scientist, then suddenly picks up a gun and becomes GI Joe, running and shooting and jumping faster and more organized than ALL THE MILITARY PEOPLE BASED AT THAT INSTALLATION? Come on.

5: The argument over the Predators name. Shut up! All it did was make all the men in those scenes look stupid and arrogant and the only woman there be the voice of reason.

6: So the kid finds the Predator tech and instantly thinks its a video game. Are you serious? It was addressed to his dad, so it wasn't his but he decides to hack into it and then WEAR it as a HALLOWEEN COSTUME?

7: The jokes. Oh dear god. Even with the red band trailer, i knew they were throwing all these modern looking cool guys that swore all the time in to make it relatable, the jokes (I assume) were supposed to do the same but they DID NOT. They did not add to anything but at the same time made you realize how desperate this movie was to try to be relevant and hip. Oh, we're in the middle an action scene, lets stop the scene to tell a joke, then go back to the scene.

8: The main characters wife. One of the group asks her to describe her husband. But instead of talking about him as a person o what type of father or man he is, she spouts out word for word every metal, war, kill and decoration hes ever had like she memorized it. What dependent knows ALL OF THAT? No one, that's who. That scene alone showed why we should NOT care about her.

9: The translator. So this Super Predator came to kill inferior humans (what else is new) but before it has a chance to blow up it's ship and kill everyone there, it translates what it's going to do to everyone there to give them a sporting chance. WHY?

10: The Predator dogs. Oh dear lord what the hell were you thinking people? They're so 'mean' then instantly turn to mans best friend and want to be friends with the people that not a few moments ago were shooting it trying to kill it and it's friend? Seriously, what was the point?

11. As with every movie, the military is bad and the DUMBEST organization on this planet. Their secret labs are easy to break out of, their buses are easy to take over, their bases are just wide open for any civilian to run around and steal equipment from.

12: The ending. This movie assumed it would be a huge hit and set itself up for a sequel (hopefully this does not happen) THIS was the (I assume plot of this movie)? If it was so important why didn't the Predator just walk into the lab (since it was so easy to break out of) and just hand it to us. They we could have joined together to defeat the Super Predator.

13: Munns character again. One second she's kicking butt taking names then all the sudden she's the 'oopsie' clumsy damsel in distress that keeps getting beat up of thrown down or knocked down. So much for strong female types.

14: So the Predator came to this planet because they discovered Autism was the next step in their evolution to become a Super Duper Extra Tough Predator? Wait, what? Really?

There were a ton more, but I will spare you.

As I said, this movie could have been done a million times better a million different ways. But this is what they put out under the assumption that the name and likeness of The Predator would carry it. I'll let you decide for yourself, but in my opinion it does not.

I'm unsure as to what the Predator was hunting for but he didn't find it in this movie.

The Meg (2018)

Oh Jason Statham, who can't you save?

[5/10 · 19 August 2018]

Seriously, we all owe Jason Statham a ton of gratitude. Hes saved us from so many evil/strange situations over the years that he should get the key to the entire planet. THIS time he saves us from a really really big shark called a Megalodon (or Meg if you're nasty) All hell breaks loose as usual, there's drama, suspense, comedy and even a little hints at romance (wink, wink) And the cast put together for this thrilling adventure work well together. The special effects are spot on and the Meg itself almost made never want to go near any water ever again. However, the plot is kind of lame (past the whole billions and billions year old super shark that just appears out of nowhere) and you find yourself asking questions that never get answered. This is a big summer action flick, plain and simple, you will not leave the theater with a greater grasp on life or the answer to all the worlds problems. You WILL walk away for this about $30 lighter.

The action keeps coming and coming and coming and coming so much that one problem hasn't even finished and they are on to another. At times it seems like the writers went, "Ok, so this is a Jaws movie, but it's NOT Jaws and we have to make people know that. So let's bombard them with so much action that they wont have time to realize what is really going on but still throw in Jaws Easter eggs just to make people think of Jaws when in fact they are not watching Jaws. Now, who's up for lunch?"

But there were a few things that bothered me and if you would, please humor me for a few moments:

1-Suyin works with her father on the station, OK i get that, undersea charting the uncharted and preforming experiments billions of miles underwater, BUT YOU BROUGHT YOUR 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TOO? Does she not need to go to school? Or not be around BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF TECHNOLOGY? Mother of the year here.

2-Speaking of Suyin, her acting along with her daughters acting was terrible. It either seemed they were being dubbed over later in english or that they would read their lines and then pretend to act real quick before they forgot.

3-I understand they are in tense situations, but every time a character cried on screen it was the most unwatchable forced acting I have ever seen. My 7 year old fake cries way better then these actresses.

4-Again with Suyin, she decides to go under to rescue her friends, takes so long talking to her daughter and what not, that NO ONE thought to stop her, or disable her craft so she couldn't leave or anything?

5-So they are trapped under sea and THE ONLY person on the planet that can save them is Statham? You know what he did, what he went through, that hes is not in any condition to mount a rescue, that even the doctor on board things hes a certified wack job, yet you STILL bring him on board then expect him to snap right out of it and be a superman again. You guys must have been really desperate.

6-Who the hell created these crafts they use? Were these on loan from SeaQuest DSV? Is a Jedi missing his cruiser? Man, Aqua Man is gonna be pissed when he sees his ride is gone.

7-They are billions of miles under water in a trench of mystery and they STILL have a clear signal and video feed? I'm on the surface and STILL have to wait for Netflix to buffer half the time. Forget finding fish, let's get them to work on the Internet and Wi-Fi coverage above sea level.

8-Ok just a few seconds ago Jason you just barely escaped the Meg coming after you to eat you then Syuin gets her cage trapped in the Megs mouth and you throw yourself into the water with no gear, no weapons and no plan. Don't do that, haven't you seen Jaws?

9-Multi Billionaire Douche claims he has taken full responsibility of the situation and made sure everyone is notified that needs to be and are surprised to find out he lied about it all. Seriously? Just a while earlier he was telling them how this was a great scientific discovery and it would make them rich and blah, blah, blah. Name ONE time the self centered rich guy actually learned a lesson in the end..I'll wait.....no I won't.

10-Syuin again. Now I'm all for strong female characters. Great, kick some ass! But every time she tried to help or save the day in any capacity she would cause three more problems and once again turn into the damsel in distress. I'll inject the poison, now i'm caught, now the Meg has me, Now the Meg is trying to eat me, now I'm trapped, now i broke my mask, now im passing out. How does that show a strong independent woman that can take care of herself as well as take names?

11-Then after everything that happened on the station they STILL take the kid onto the boat for the final "We're going to finish this and kill it now" sequence? SO you could have very well killed you daughter and yourself and since you dad just died pretty much end you bloodline right there?

12-I did get a kick out of the humpback whales at the beginning. One was named Gracie and then Rainn Wilson meets the station doctor and makes ANOTHER Star Trek reference. (I see what you did there Meg and I approve)

But I digress.

Like I said, the Meg is definitely a Bang Bang boom shoot em up kill kill summer action movie. It's not going to win any awards and you probably won't be adding this to your Blu Ray collection, but it is a good movie to see if you want to get out of the summer heat.

Just please for the love of God, don't go into the water...

Teen Titans GO! To the Movies (2018)

Teen Titans GO! see this movie

[10/10 · 16 August 2018]

Do you like Robin? Cyborg? Starfire? Beast Boy? Raven? Batman? Superman? Alfred? Wonder Woman? The Bat Mobile? The Atom? Swamp Thing? Fart Jokes? Musical numbers? Movies about Movies? Time Travel? Time Travel to undo previous time Travel? Bat roller-skates? Stan Lee cameos? Waffles? A Villain who may or may not be Deadpool? Nick Cage as Superman? Explosive Diarrhea? Portals? The Back to the Future theme? A cartoon Marlon Brando? Explosions? Seriously, are you still reading this? Go see the movie you will NOT be disappointed!

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

With great move comes great reviews..

[10/10 · 28 July 2017]

Spoiler man, spoiler man, look out folks cause there's spoilers man:

After so many years of trying, Spider-Man has returned to his old stomping grounds where he belongs and Marvel took right off out the gate with this one. No set up, no origin story (come on, even if you've never seen a Spider-Man movie you KNOW how he turns into Spider-Man, it's like Batman's back story, EVERYONE knows it) just right into it. Even through the marvel studio logo at the beginning we are treated to a very familiar and much missed Spider-Man theme of old.

Marvel was NOT playing; they pulled out the big guns and it paid off in a BIGGER way. This move had it all, but at the same time made sure you realized that Spider-Man is a kid trying to do the right thing with his powers AND live a 'normal' life at the same time. Is the new guy Maguire or Garfield? Nope, and that's not a bad thing. Holland brings a new and fresh take to the character that feels like he's still trying to find his place in this new life and we are there to watch, take his bit in Civil War times a thousand and once you see it you'll agree they got the right guy for this one.

The others characters fell into two categories: On the good side you have Michael Keaton, Robert Downey Jr, the (guy in the chair) and new Aunt May Marisa Tomei. The others fell into the Why are you even here and how did you get this job category: Flash (who was just annoying, period. Every time he came on screen I rolled my eyes), the 'love interest' Liz (who couldn't act her way out of Spider-Man 3) and finally Zendayas character who seemed to just 'be' there.

Michael Keaton was great as the Vulture, which is hard to say because he's MY Batman (not Birdman), it was nice to see that same intensity again in a superhero film from him, he's still at the top of his game. Mr. Downey Jr once again stole the scenes as Tony Stark (name me something he's NOT good in, I'll wait. No I won't, I need to finish this up) along with the help of Happy Hogan, Captain America and a few surprise guests. There are quite a few scenes where you find yourself pointing at the screen going "hey! Its (insert person here)!"

A few things got to me as usual, so if you don't mind…

1: You're telling me Spider-man holds conversations with people Peter interacts with on a daily basis for who knows how long and they have NO CLUE he's Spider-man, yet the Vulture meets him for 2 seconds and INSTANTLY knows?

2: Zendaya again, she seemed to be there for comedy relief that fell way short. Her character is just there, she serves no real purpose, so once the reveal towards the end you go 'oh well, who cares'. If she had not been in the movie nothing would have changed.

3: If Peter is using all the schools chemicals for his webbing, in the present day and age don't you think that SOMEONE would notice all the random chemicals and various amounts that are missing and alert the authorities?

4: Wow, for being named 'Happy' he must be the most non happy person I've ever heard of (But you HAVE heard of me).

5: The addition of the various 'nicknames' for the guys in the crime syndicate (which are classic Spider-man villains) was a really nice touch.

6: The van chase is happening, loud scrapes, bangs, alien super weapons exploding all around and yet no one comes out to see or calls the cops? So much so that even after its all said and done Spidey can still walk through a yard and find the alien tech just sitting there, no one noticed it at all?

7: Donald Glover: I'm not sure what was going on with his character but I couldn't tell if he was hammered or high or both.

8: The language and various gestures, it fit in and seemed part of the events around it, it wasn't thrown in just to say 'We're a different kind of Spider-man'

9: That whole vulture costume seemed so heavy to me and you could see it was when Keaton took it off on its stand, how did using this for so long not give him severe back problems?

10: Final scene, one of the best scenes Marvel has come out with. It's the 'I am iron man' scene turned on its head with an updated feel. Hilarious.

But I digress…

In short, this movie 'fit'. For so long Sony has had to skirt around Spider-man mythology and the other movies in the Marvel library so that it seemed Peter was all alone in his superhero-ing efforts, now with Marvel at the reigns it's great to see Peter with the Avengers, acknowledging all the events from the previous moves like he had been there the entire time like it SHOULD BE. Its great having Spidey where he belongs...FINALLY.

Also, stay until after the end credits. (But you didn't need me to tell you that)

The Mummy (2017)

The Mummy is turning over in its Sarcophagus....

[4/10 · 13 June 2017]

Spoilers ahead folks

I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I will tell you that every time I saw the trailer I said "Nope, no way. Does not look interesting in the least bit." But you give me a movie with Tom Cruise in it and 9 times out of 10 I will go see it. Plus the old Universal monsters are the best so the thought of seeing them in their glory on the big screen again was too good to pass up.

This movie however left me feeling like it was either extremely rushed and things were overlooked, some scenes were left on the cutting room floor, or the script was rushed so they could start filming. It was half good action sequences and others that really didn't need to be there but seemed to fill in dead space. **Pun intended** The romance between Cruise and Wallis seemed unnecessary and awkward, like there was not enough time for them to develop then the next thing you know he's balling like they were old childhood friends.

A few things did bother me, such as:

If all it took was a spider bite to turn Cruises' friend into a 'zombie', why didn't the mummy just send spiders to the surface and bite a crap ton of people and get them to let her loose earlier?

I have never seen someone run so much in my life. Cruise must have a clause in every contract that says he has to intensely run from each and every situation in his films.

You're telling me the military just lets its people willy-nilly without knowing where they are at all times in the middle of a war, and that said war needs to have an archaeologist on the pay roll? Plus, the commanding officer finds out/knows about their illegal activity and just acts like it's another day in Iraq?

The sarcophagus: Its billions of years old and its hanging from the helicopter just flapping in the wind, then the crew winches it up onto the 130 with nothing underneath it? That thing would have ripped up the plane floor not to mention screwed up the under part of the sarcophagus itself.

In the church, the bad guys had Cruise all laid out and ready to go when the girl comes in. Seeing as how they were surrounded by graves, why didn't the mummy raise all of them to stop 2 people? If you are trying to take over the world why not raise the biggest undead army you can?

Jekyll: I applaud the security measures to keep Hyde contained, but here's my thing; you can obviously tell you're going to change, have the serum pre-loaded and on you at all times, not sitting around for anybody to get. You feel the change come on, give yourself a hit and you're good.

This secret society knows about the mysterious goings on and how to fight/destroy/contain them and they wait until halfway thought to do something? At first sign of the mummys return they should have been there containing the situation or the organization is useless.

No jewel, no curse..Are you kidding? She goes to all that trouble to set things in motion, all the trouble to start the curse and to stop it all you have to do is break a Goodwill costume stone? Plus how is it that the 2 of them figured this out and not Jekyll, the head of this huge secret society that deals with this type of thing every day?

But I digress.

The Mummy tries so hard to establish the 'Dark Universe' for Universal that it misses the mark completely. If this is what we have to look forward to no number of big name stars or movie monsters will help them. All I'm saying is that this could have been so much better. This made me long for the old Brendan Frasier Mummy movie because it had heart.

Every studio needs to stop trying to have what Marvel worked so hard for and worry about the beloved properties they are screwing up all in the name of a 'Shared Universe'.

Suicide Squad (2016)

Movies making money is easy, movies that are worth spending the money to see is a lot harder

[5/10 · 11 August 2016]

Spoiler alert Puddins******

Finally, after waiting so long DCs answer to the Guardians of the Galaxy is here. The trailers more than built up hype surrounding these 'lesser known' DC characters and with our first REAL live action Harley Quinn and the promise of The Joker and Batman added to the mix it made the possibility of this movie being a hit a sure thing.

However after seeing the movie it seems like the hype was just that, hype. Sadly the trailer and soundtrack may have been the best parts of the movie.

I think that's why I'm having trouble writing this, I wanted so badly and was so sure this movie would be good, I felt bad when halfway though it I realized I was bored and didn't really care anymore.

Right from the first scene we're thrown into the story and as you would expect with a large cast, some of the characters don't get a good enough back story for you to really care about them. I understand they are bad guys but still, shouldn't I be given a good reason to root for them seeing as how they are the 'hero' of the film.

You can tell that Deadshot and Harley are the main characters, Enchantress is supposed to be one too, but the way her story is told so quickly you find it really hard to care about what happens to her . Killer Crock and El Diablo are just there, plain and simple, their back stories are not explored enough and they provide nothing to further the plot, they are just THERE.

The scenes were cut weird, at times it seemed less of a movie and more of a wild dream sequence and some things just plain didn't make sense. Like the plot. This had to have been the dumbest reasoning to bring these villains together, THERE WAS NO REASON FOR IT. A military unit or some of the super heroes around could have taken care of this much easier, why go to all this trouble? It seriously seemed like the wrote the action parts, forgot to put a plot in and threw together something assuming no one would really notice because you'd be too busy looking at Harleys butt every 10 minutes.

A few things got to me so if you would allow me to vent for a moment:

1.Harley was unneeded; all she was there for really was to tie the Joker into the movie and for sex appeal. THAT'S ALL. The movie would have gone on without her and you know it.

2.So they are all standing there right beside Deadshot who has an unlimited amount of guns and ammo to just shoot at these targets and NO ONE is wearing hearing protection? Seriously?

3.Speaking of Harley, I've never seen so many ass shots of a superhero since Clooney in the bat suit. I mean really, she must drop a lot of stuff because she was CONSTANTLY bent over it seemed.

4.The Joker: Leto was OK in the role; I look forward to seeing him more. But in this movie he was pointless, other than to show how Harley became the way she is; he was reduced to "Hey everyone, remember me? I'm still here. OK enjoy the movie." Not quite the presence Ledger was.

5.The war room scene. "What if Superman turned bad? We would need to defeat him." With a sharp shooter, a crocodile, a dude that throws boomerangs and a lady clown? Really? THAT is the best you can come up with to stop Superman even though in Batman V Superman you were introduced to Kryptonite? Waller really should have gone back to the drawing board.

6.Who ever played Flag and Deadshots daughter were TERRIBLE. I mean they were worse than the new characters in Independence Day Resurgence. It was painful to watch any scene they were in.

7.So they give everyone their gear back and Harley has her cell phone in it. Provided we don't know how long she's been in there, but how is her phone still fully charged? Plus the guards had to have known what was in those boxes, how did she not think that Waller had the thing bugged or traced?

8.If Flag had a thing with the Enchantress why would they send him to kill her? He would emotionally compromise the mission. I mean come on; didn't they watch the 2009 Star Trek?

9.Flag was a really bad leader; "Deadshot don't do the thing" Deadshot does the thing. "Stay in line or I'll kill you." They don't stay in line. "We're going there to stop this." They don't go there. He must have learned his leadership skills from the same place he learned to act.

10.If it was THAT easy for the Joker to just break into the 'Maximum security cell' then it begs to differ that it was probably just as easy to break out.

There were more but I assume you get the picture.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to NOT go see the movie. It's your typical final summer blow out of a movie, and I'm sure you'll enjoy it. But if you were looking for something along the lines of what Marvel is putting out nowadays, don't hold your breath.

In the end, the Suicide Squads greatest success and failure is its trailer. It was good enough to give all of us hope that THIS would be the movie that finally shut all the haters up and finally give Marvel a run for their money. But it didn't even come close.

I have a brilliant idea DC. How about you stop trying so badly to have what Marvel has and just be you.

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

To boldly go where no one has gone before...and BEYOND

[10/10 · 22 July 2016]

**Captain, sensors detect an unusually large amount of spoilers ahead. Advise we raise shields and proceed with caution**

First and foremost let me start by thanking Screen Writers Simon Pegg and Doug Jung for breathing much needed life and adventure back into this rebooted series that it much desperately needed.

I love Trek. Period. Always have always will. Trekkie til I die. So once the announcement was made that they were going to reboot the series I was angry. Sure Star Trek Insurrection and Nemesis weren't our finest hours, but this was Star Trek, you don't reboot an almost 50 year old property like Star Trek.

Fast forward to 2009 and the reboot (or NUtrek if you're nasty) and it was great. The idea of an alternate time line worked because they could create the 'new' universe they wanted while still letting the prime time line continue wherever it was.

Warp to Star Trek into Darkness, the moment we realized as a collective nerd hive that this new franchise that had so much promise was dead in the water on only its 'second' time out. The idea that they would take an episode and 2 movies, chop them up mix it together with some over the top action and call it a 'New' Star Trek adventure was insulting not to mention damn lazy.

So once the trailers for Star Trek Beyond came out the first thing that I thought was, "this looks like crap" plain and simple. After being burned with Into darkness I was ready to give up on NUtrek and wait for the new TV series next year.

But being the Trekkie I am, I couldn't stay away for long. Plus I needed something to take my mind off the Ghostbusters reboot. So I put on my Starfleet uniform and went.

I am SO GLAD I DID.

THIS is what Star Trek is all about. The crew in deep uncharted space with only themselves and the Enterprise as they explore the beyond. The interactions between the various crew members were there just like I remember, the sense of family was there just like I remembered. THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT! It was over 2 hours but it did not feel that way as you are instantly drawn into a new yet extremely familiar world that you don't mind spending time in.

Pegg is a fan (not to mention plays Scotty in the films) so HE would know what the series needs. I've never really understood it, studios want these mythologies and episodic based reboots of TV shows to succeed so what do they do? They bring in non-fans and expect something fans would want to watch. Where's the logic in that? Bringing a fan in to write is the smart way to go, It worked with The force Awakens and it sure as hell worked here. The ratio of humor to action was well balanced, there was not a boring moment to be had and many literal laugh out loud moments by everyone in the theater.

There were a few things that I thought of as I watched and I'd like to point them out it I may

1-Spock and Bones. I cannot tell you how great it was to see them back up to their old back and forth with each other. Each time they came up on screen together I smiled.

2-The Vice admiral job. They were going to let Kirk have it? The young and reckless one? You're telling me no one in Starfleet questioned this BEFORE he saved them all?

3-The youth/energy sucking thing. Krall crash landed on the planet, found this alien technology and thought 'If I hook someone up to the other end I bet I could suck their youth out'. Not my thing but hey, everyone needs a hobby I guess.

4-Jaylah, she has been down there for who knows how long, escaped Kralls death camp, living on her own in fear, she just encounters Scotty and after a few words to him trusts him enough to take him into her secret 'house'? Much less didn't talk to Kirk or Chekov and instantly sets them free and lets them into her 'house' too? If she's that trusting, how did she survive on her own that long?

5-I have had to say goodbye to as many Enterprises as I have Doctor Whos. You have to hand it to the old girl, no matter what universe or time line she's in she will always go out fighting.

6-The Star Trek universe really loves the Beastie Boys

7-Bones and Spock crash on the planet, Spock is injured so Bones heats up this pointy piece of metal to cauterize the wound. Once he's done he pulls the point away and it's gone. Did he leave the super-hot metal point inside the wound? Why didn't he use the weapon to seal the wound and bypass the metal to begin with?

8-Gay Sulu. It's just a few seconds and quite honestly really didn't add or take away from anything so I say more power to them. Also, Sulu husband is played by the script co-writer Doug Jung.

9-The Old Spock scenes were well done. Once Spock learned of it it was sad, but the end when we see the picture of the classic cast, there was not a dry eye in the theater. Well played Star Trek, well played.

I could go on but I'm out of words for this review.

Cliff notes version: GO SEE STAR TREK BEYOND!

This is Star Trek at its best, a shutout out to the glory days we thought were past us. Beyond shows us that this Trek is new and different but just as familiar as it ever was and that is extremely comforting in this day and age.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Who you gonna call? Someone else......

[1/10 · 18 July 2016]

****Yar, there be spoilers ahead, turn back now. Ye have been warned****

After so many people gave me the "You have to give it a try" or "you're hating it before you even see it, judge for yourself" or "you love Ghostbusters, there's no way you could stay away" speeches and because there was a storm and my power and internet had been down for about an hour, I went to go see the new Ghostbusters out of COMPLETE BOREDOM.

(Heavy sigh) OK, let's do this.

Where do I start?

How about hereWHAT WAS SONY THINKING OF WHEN THEY READ THIS SCRIPT AND SAID "I LOVE THIS PLAN, I'M EXCITED TO BE PART OF IT, LETS DO IT!!" If THIS is the start of a new Ghostbusters franchise then we are all in big trouble.

Let's start with the plot: this thing took the good parts from the first 2 movies, cut them up into pieces, threw them into the air and where ever they landed is the writers wrote them into this version. It did nothing to establish the back stories of the characters; it just throws us into the action but does not make us really feel anything for these ladies even though throughout we are supposed to feel bad that they were teased as kids. I guess you're just supposed to relate to them based on the fact that they are famous female comedians? Sure, let's go with that cause I found no reason to care for them.

The only likable character was Kevin and even he got old after the first few stupid blonde jokes made his way. After that, every time he came on screen I rolled my eyes. How many times can you milk the 'there's no glass in your glasses' gag? The answer? About 50. You made Thor boring! This movie should go in the record books for that alone.

The other likable character was Holtzmann (the weird chick that makes the gear) and that was because she didn't have very many lines at all and truly seemed to be having fun with her character unlike the other 3 women who were so stiff because they were trying so hard to be funny or good actors.

Even the villain (who *SHOCKER* was also teased his whole life) is just a random guy doing evil things, there is no real connection to him or to any of the teasing that is done to him. People say random remarks about him, but nothing to justify the evil master plan he has hatched.

The acting, oh dear lord.the acting was terrible. Melissa McCartney and Kristen Wiig were the worst ones and THEY WERE THE STARS AND MAIN CHARACTERS! The entire script seemed to be made up right then and there on the spot. It was painful to watch. Every scene involved someone going off on a random tangent that had absolutely nothing to do with the scene they were in. It seemed they were trying so hard to make each other laugh and not enough trying to make the audience laugh. Every one of them on screen were stiff and emotionless, like they were physically trying to act. You could tell they had no idea what they were doing and were trying so hard to show everyone they could carry this huge responsibility. Guess what, you couldn't. The body possession of Abby scene was the most painful of them all; I had to close my eyes during it. It physically hurt to watch.

The worst part of the entire move was the overall arc of man hating. From scene one you could tell they were walking around with a 'we're girls get over it' chip on their shoulder because of internet backlash (which wouldn't have happened if they hadn't been so vocal trying to impress everyone by mentioning how theirs was an all-female version) maybe if they worked harder on the script like they did trying to promote 'girl power' then maybe we would have a better movie. Calm down, you're the Ghostbusters, not the spice girls.

I'm not kidding. EVERY MAN in this movie was a complete idiot. I'm not talking 'killer chases girl in high heels through woods and she falls' idiot, I'm talking 'DuhI am a stupid, stupid man..Duhhh'. Kevin, can't do even the simplest things because he's stupid. The mayor can't function properly without the help of his FEMALE aide. The Homeland security guys, protecting the United States, works for the government, yet the mayors aide speaks for them because they have no clue, and on and on.

Sorry Sony, no dice. You spent so much time forcing every-ones opinions to change before the movie came out that you missed the chance to reintroduce a beloved movie to a new generation properly. I feel bad for the youth that think THIS is Ghostbusters.

Let's clear this up now, it's not a lady thing. I don't care that its ladies, it could have been CG lobsters or hamsters in the roles. This added nothing to the franchise, it was just a really bad SNL sketch that went on way too long. The hate wasn't because of the women, it was because it was thrown in every-ones face constantly that it made you wonder if that was all it had going for it. Spoiler alert, it was.

The worst part is at the start of the movie, Sony has already created a Ghostbusters production studio. That means no matter the outcome of this movie they have plans in motion to unleash Ghostbusters on an unsuspecting world.

So you can be sure no matter how it does, the Ghostbusters WILL be back; Sony will make sure of that whether you like it or not.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

The Galaxy is in good hands

[10/10 · 6 August 2014]

Spoiler alert folks, if you haven't see Guardians of the Galaxy.

But you totally should.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. THIS IS MARVEL'S TIME.

They played out a huge gamble on uniting their heroes into the Avengers and it paid off big. Then the thought of combining all these movies with ties to the next movie, risky, but brilliant.

Now they have pulled another brilliant movie by bringing us the Guardians of the Galaxy. Once a virtually unknown group in their comic universe, now a huge money making force to be dealt with that rivals The Avengers themselves. The biggest gamble? Putting 'The Guardians of the Galaxy will return' at the end of the movie. What if this movie flopped? They would have pulled a Buckaroo Banzai on us. Marvel knows what they are doing and it seems as if they are unstoppable.

The Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of a misfit group of 'thugs', none of them fit the typical hero mold. A scavenger, a big burly killing machine, the daughter of the universes biggest tyranny bent on total destruction, a genetically altered raccoon and a tree. Not the type of group you'd call if there was a problem, but they're the ones you'd want.

This movie gets you from the start, even with this being a group of new characters; we're introduced to them quickly and during the course of the movie that you don't even notice it. (No being bitten by a spider Spider-Man sequence or Batman parents being shot flashback here) and they are thrown together to fight a common threat to the galaxy and wind up becoming friends in the process. The best part aside from the action is the humor and this movie is full of it.

The real stars are Chris Pratt as Star Lord Peter Quill (like Han solo meets Indiana Jones with smart remarks for days)from his dance moves to his trying to explain common expressions to those around him is hilarious and Rocket who is only out for himself and his pal Groot (Seriously, a disgruntled raccoon, what's not to like?)

There are plenty of cameos too, if you are familiar with Marvel comics you will catch lots of them (even Stan Lee is there), the best is the appearance of Thanos the Tyrant. (The purple guy at the end of The Avengers) and even Benicio Del Toro as the Collector (the guy from the end of Thor 2) also stay until after the credits for a cameo from a notorious Marvel character.

A few things did bother me, so if I may…..

1-Peters ship was destroyed and the Nova corps rebuilt it as best as they could, even his tape deck? How many cassette tape players are just lying around in another galaxy? Did this planet have a Best Buy?

2-Peters Walkman, what does it run on? All these years and he never had to replace the batteries? Did he stop by an intergalactic Wal-Mart?

3-Gamora, for being the daughter of a tyrant that everyone wants to kill, after the jail scene, no one seems to care that she is just walking around. Weird right?

4-When Rocket and Groot try to take down Quill at the beginning and Gamora gets in the way, all this stuff is happening out in the open with a bunch of people watching and no one tries to help? What kind of planet of pansies is this?

5-John C. Reilly's character, he arrested Quill right (a few times from what he said) and he has Quill on speed dial on his phone?

6-Yondu (the blue guy) keeps bring up how everyone else wanted to eat Quill but he stopped him, DUDE WE GET IT! Move on!

7-When they escape the prison, Quill just hands them his ship as he goes back for his Walkman. Why did he trust them, sure they helped break him out, but they could have just take the Milano for themselves and not looked back. That would have made for a short movie.

8-Quill puts on his mask and can fly through space. HOW? His body is still exposed to space, and the top of his head is too because his hair stick out when the mask is on. Other than looking cool, what good is the mask really? And there were others but that is neither here nor there.

Guardians of the Galaxy…GO SEE IT! If Marvel keeps this streak up, there is no way any DC comics movie or Justice League movie will be able to top this.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Welcome back Spidey!!

[10/10 · 29 June 2014]

Friendly Neighborhood Spoilers Ahead...

You thought The Amazing Spider-Man was good, you have not seen anything yet.

Andrew Garfield is back at Spider-Man and is in true from this time. It seems like hes having way too much fun playing the hero, not too bad if you have to have a day job. The role of Peter Parker seems tailor made for him. Emma Stone is back as his love interest Gwen Stacy, their chemistry (they are dating in real life) is plainly visible here. It almost seems like they are not acting towards each other. Again, if you have to have a day job, its not too bad.

But what this movie has in GREAT supply is FUN. What the franchise was missing after the ORIGINAL Spiderman way back in the day. Yes, unlike Toby Macguire, Spider-man is FUN again. Constantly wise cracking, lovable and trying to make his way in a world that doesn't know if it should love or have him, and making fans along the way.

This time Spiderman goes up against Electro, Rhino and The Green Goblin. Each is a newcomer to the franchise, but ones I'm sure we will see again, especially with the namedropping towards the end.

Spider-man I have no problem with at all, its the villains, they are the problem. Its what I call the 'Batman Syndrome' all over again. Let me explain better with my usual rant....

1-Has no one learned from the Batman franchises of old? Too Many villains bog down the story and eventually one gets stepped on by the other. This is the case with this movie also.

2-Rhino, hes in the first 5 minutes and the last 5. Thats it folks. We are not given any time to really care about him, or find him an evil criminal mastermind. Hes just Paul Giamatti doing a really stupid Russian accent. Thats it. Hes just there for comedy at the start and at the end you wonder 'How did he break out? How did he get the suit? Why does he hate Spider-man so much? There has to be a bigger and better reason for him being around in the next one'

3-Electro. First off, he felt like Mr.Freeze from Batman and Robin(Almost looked like him too)with the corny electric jokes. "It's shocking" "You'll get a charge out of this" "You called the thunder, heres the lightning" WE GET IT! ELECTRICITY! Calm down man!

4-Electro again, his mild mannered self Max Dillon seemed a whole lot like the mild mannered Edward Nygma (from Batman Forever, thus why I call it the 'Batman Syndrome') Works for company on an experimental project, stepped on by his bosses, no one pays him any attention, then Batman..er Spider-Man shows up and he becomes obsessed with him. Then a tragic 'accident' turns him into a bad guy hell bend on getting revenge on the hero that 'ignored him'. Nope, never been done before.

5-The Norman Osborne angle was a little strange. "Hey Pete, haven't seen you in years and years, but come on over, let me show you top secret projects my company is working on and tell you that I'm dying." Save it for Maury, huh.

6-Peters father, first in the plane before they died: Was he James Bond in a former life? For a scientist type hes got some Liam Neeson moves and keeps on going and going like the Energizer bunny. That and for a plane crashing, he sure had really good Wi-Fi to upload all those files.

7-Second with Peters father, he had this secret lab in the subway in a former presidential boxcar. IT'S ALL OVER THE INTERNET AND NO ONE ELSE KNEW ABOUT OR FOUND IT? But Peter does a 5 minute search (2 to find the answer and 3 to check FaceBook) and finds it like that? New York police must be the worst.

8-The Green Goblin at the power plant. He looks at Spidey and Gewn for one second and 'You're Peter Parker!'. Honestly, that could have been a coincidence, or if it was that easy how come no one else figured it out sooner. Hell, Harry had Spider-man in his house only a few inches from his face talking to him and STILL had no idea it was Peter.

9-Gwens death. I was glad to see this ACTUALLY happened like in the comics, but also it added realism to the movie. I don't care what super hero you are, you will not always get the bad guy and save everyone. Frist Captain Stacy in the first one and now Gwen. WHat keeps us coming back to Spider-Man over and over is the fact that hes us. Just a dude who wants to make a difference any way he ca and not always being able to live up to everyones expectations of him.

10-That kid at the end. Really? The kid gets under a barricade and no one runs after him? The crowd and police just stand there like 'Wait Billy don't go...Oh well'. Plus, the police are having this huge shoot out only a few feet from millions of innocent by standards and apparently a really crappy barricade?

Having said that, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was AWESOME! It is the reason we go to see movies and the reason Spider-man will always keep bringing us back to him. Good old fashioned super hero fun.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Welcome back X Men we all know and love..

[10/10 · 29 June 2014]

Be warned, spoilers ahead me hearties...

When it comes to the X Men franchise I'm sure all nerds will tell you that 1 was the best, 2 was OK but half way through got dumb and that 3 was unneeded and ruined the entire series. Why did X3 tank so bad in the hearts of those who love it? Bryan Singer, thats how.

The man who brought us the beloved comic series was our ringleader through 1 and 2. They had heart and as you watched them you knew Singer put his love of the characters, material and story into each one. 3 was missing Singer, so it was missing the heart and soul of what made the series great.

So after a few years pass and a really well done prequel/reboot to add to the series (enough to get the taste of 3 out of our collective mouths) how do you return to the series you fathered and make it cool again while making the fans care again? TIME TRAVEL.

Yes my friends, with two words director Bryan Singer wipes out the last half of X2 and all of 3 from our minds and re-writes history his way with this addition to the franchise. How do you fix the mistakes of the past, erase them and they never happened! All the main characters from X Men First Class are back, along with the addition of the best loved characters from The original X Men series. It literally is the best of both worlds. Tie in the before mentioned Time Travel element and how can you go wrong?

The Movie takes on the two issue story of the same name, and though us nerds will tell you that they changed quite a few things from comic to screen, the heart of the story is there again, and your genuine care for the wellbeing of our old (and young versions of) friends.

As always a few things bothered me, so if you will humor me for a few seconds...

1-The ending with Mystique got really annoying after a while.."I'm gonna kill him, no i won't, yes I will, no I won't" JUST DO IT ALREADY!

2-Young Magneto: Wow, he was still a bad guy this whole time! Shocker. Charles, you are too trusting.

3-For a public forum, with the president there, there sure was very little protection. Secret service must have been on LSD that day.

4-The future, with the Sentinels attacking was really slow and drawn out, i know it was for dramatic effect but if this is how they attack, how did they accomplish anything.

5-Wolverine's butt. Come on! Do we really need to get women into this movie THAT bad. I mean it worked (my wife came with me for just that reason) but still. Come on!

6-Quicksilver. It was pretty cool to see him finally in live action form, but his character was not needed that bad. They could have accomplished the exact same thing without him. (but the easter egg with him and Magneto in the elevator was awesome)

7-For wanting to hide the fact that they are mutants from the outside world, they sure did flaunt their powers in public constantly.

8-Young Professor X meets Old Professor X. EPIC!! But you have to admit, young Professor X is a whiny bitch at times.

9-They tie in Wolverines small cameo in First Class perfectly. I was wondering if they would acknowledge that they had already met or not.

10-So Beast can turn the beast power on and off? So hes the Hulk now?

11-If you get to the end, and do not cry when everyone is reunited, YOU HAVE A HEART OF STONE! Once everyone appeared at the Institute I cried like a baby. It was PERFECT! THIS is the way the X Men should be.

So in closing, Bravo Mr. Singer! It looked hopeless there for a while, and even when we heard you had come back the thought was 'How could he possibly save the original series franchise?' I will never doubt you again. Thank you. Thank you.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

The Heart is gone.

[4/10 · 27 June 2014]

Spoilers abound Folks...Seriously.

Transformers Age of Extinction is exactly what you would expect. A huge blow em up, shoot everyone, run run run type of movie again. Bay tries so hard to separate this from the other Transformer movies, like the theme music we're all used to is gone, the beginning title sequence is different, even the 'feel' of the movie is different. There's also lots of light flares (thanks JJ Abrams) and various liquids 'getting all over the screen' for extra added effect. But this entry also has a TON of cussing and a bunch of on screen human deaths. A darker tone indeed.

The only down side is that now those 'totally awesome looking robots' we all came to love in the first movies now look SO fake and computer generated that it hurts to look at it. I doubt ANYTHING in that movie was real. It all had a 'cartoon-ish CGI' feel to it. Almost like 'What kind of robots can we make and how can they destroy a city or each other' and the script and heart of the story went out the window.

Bay even tries to throw Mark Wahlberg, his daughter and her boyfriend in as the humans we should care about, but we're introduced to them then thrown into the action so quickly that we don't really relate to them or care about them like we did Sam Witwicky from the first trilogy, we only care about the situations they are in. New 'eye candy' Nicola Peltz is Wahlbergs daughter (which is not believable AT ALL, not even for a second) who couldn't act her way out of the the short short daisy dukes she squeezed into. Is it THIS hard to find a hot chick who can ALSO act Mr. Bay? Or here's an idea, make the movie about ROBOTS and forget the Victoria's Secret models all together. I don't think the 7 year olds this movie is geared towards will mind at all.

This movie had a few problems and if you will humor me for a moment....

1-ALL Asians know karate and will jump into Kung-Fu at any time. Even if they have no idea why the fight is going on, they just jump in at random. Fact.

2-Women (no matter how strong or how much of a 'ball buster' they appear as at first) are only good for wearing short shorts and revealing clothes while crying and screaming as they are holding on for dear life waiting for the male hero to save them.

3-Even with Decpticons all over, the GOVERNMENT is the REAL bad guy. ALWAYS.

4-Any time Michael Bay holds an audition for Asians, the role is always running in a crowd from a huge robot rampage while screaming things in Chinese at random.

5-Even if you are just going to the toilet for a second, if the toilet and or entire bathroom does not explode as you walk away, with a chase scene to and from the room, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

6-Seriously, how many times can you kill Megatron then have him come back. When will we learn?

7-The 'comedy relief' sidekick got annoying after the first 5 minutes. Then they had the good sense to kill him off early, but after a quick 'sorry for your loss' this friend of so many years is never thought of or mentioned again.

8-Every 5 minutes it seemed that the action would slow-mo and some Imagine Dragons song would play as Nicola Peltz and her boyfriend Jack Reynor would do something 'romantic'. Umm, there's robots shooting all around, the city is being destroyed and hundreds are dying around you, kiss some other time huh?

9-Dinobots--AWESOME. But they are only in the last 10 minutes of the film, none of them talk or say anything and then Prime 'gives them their freedom'. Excuse me, you transform into a huge T Rex, how are you gonna hide on earth where no one will find you? Good luck with that.

10-Autobot technology is pretty awesome alright, but gets lost really easy by alien robots just to be discovered by us little humans then hidden away where no Autobot or Decpticon would ever find it until we accidentally use it at the last minute and Prime has to save us all. All in a days work I guess.

11-So there's this top secret CIA/evil corporation technology and a hick dude from Texas gets hold of it and hacks into it in 10 minutes with old computer stuff from an abandoned gas station? Really?

I could go on and on but you get the point. Transformers 4 was exactly what it was meant to be - A huge summer movie, but if you're looking for something to make up for Dark of the Moon or a reason to look forward to this 'New trilogy', you're out of luck.

Jobs (2013)

A good movie about the man who revolutionized our world

[7/10 · 19 January 2014]

I don't understand the haters, this movie is what it is. A watered down 2 hour version of the life of Steve Jobs, plain and simple, a look into some of the finer points of Steve Jobs life and the beginnings of Apple computers.

I will tell you first off that I am not a fan of Ashton Kutcher, never have been and never will be, but here he comes across as Steve Jobs so well you really believe it IS Steve Jobs. I'm not saying he deserves an Oscar for this performance, but its not bad at all.

Its interesting to see the makings of the things that none of us could live without. The personal computer, the portable computer, your IPod...anything and everything that you take for granted today, was created by him yesterday.

It is strange to see this man we all respect and associate with innovation and creation and invention being a total dick to those friends closest to him. Does this movie make him an immortal god? No. Does it Make him into a monster? No. It tells it like it is and leaves you to decide what Steve Jobs legacy will be.

If you walk away from this movie and don't feel inspired, there is seriously something wrong with you my friend.

Last Vegas (2013)

It might be the last but it is Number 1

[7/10 · 18 January 2014]

I thought this movie would be the typical old guy goes to Vegas to find his youth and falls in love in the process (It is by the way) but with this cast i had to give it a try. I was expecting to be rolling my eyes and get up and walk out after the first few minutes, but by the end I was almost sorry it was over.

Kevin Kline is the one who steals the show, he's funny and at the top of his game, which is weird seeing as how hes playing an old burnt out guy. Morgan Freeman gives a great performance as usual, Robert De Niro just seemed to be there for the ride (although you're supposed to feel sad for his widower character, and you do) but its not his best. Michael Douglas is the one you sit watching and saying "Oh my god, when did you get old?" it is painfully obvious he is not 20 or 50 anymore.

The movie itself has a plot that has been recycled a billion times over (and done better) but the performances by the cast is the real reason to watch. They're funny, interesting and having the weekend of their lives.

So why don't you come along too? You'll be glad you did.

Scream 4 (2011)

Scream 4 Spoiler filled review

[7/10 · 15 April 2011]

SPOILERS AHEAD YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

Back in 2000 i was sad to say goodbye to this franchise (even though 2 and three left it lacking) but did and felt the trilogy was good as is.

Now, years later we have the NEWEST addition to the trilogy (?). If it had been anyone else But Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson, I would have walked past it and not given this movie a second thought But with the ORIGINAL creators on board, I had to give it a try.

The movie was good, not as bad as Saw 4 (Which is referenced in the movie as sucking-Right on) or the before mentioned Halloween 3, but then again its also nothing new. The same old Scream plot line thats been used 3 times before really. FOr a second there it almost felt like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (The veteran handing the reigns to the younger one) But Jill was WAY better than Mutt.

The entire original cast is back (Except Jamie Kennedy, which let's be honest, would have just been stupid seeing as how he had died in Scream 2) along with the 'younger, hipper' cast who claim to be "horror movie experts" yet STILL do the same stupid things when put in the deadly situations.

I want to add that I think Wes Craven is a GENIUS. Plain and simple. He created the Horror genre and is constantly re-inventing it. From Nightmare on Elm Street to Scream to...well...Scream 4.

The movie knows what it is, and does not try to hide it. It is another tired horror movie with a stupid plot that has been done over and over again, Craven knows this, and that is what he makes fun of in the beginning of the movie. It is classic. Only he could make fun of HIMSELF and still make it new and hip. THIS is why he's the master.

But, as with everything, I did have a few problems (or complaints, if you're nasty) and thought i'd share them with you if you don't mind.

#1- Seriously, EVERYONE in this movie has a cell phone, half of them USE the phones as the killer calls, yet once he attacks the service suddenly goes out? They must use AT&T.

#2- The killer is attacking, what should we do? Go rescue the victim ourself, not call the cops WHO ARE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, or use those cell phone things were were talking about earlier.

#3- When we are first introduced to Jill at school, for a second you'll see a statue head by her locker. Its Henry Winkler (AKA The Fonz) who was the principal in the FIRST Scream.

#4- Hayden Panettiere, what did you do to your hair? YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. Cheerleader, you should have saved your hair.

#5- All the 'IN' jokes in the movie are AWESOME, especially the one about how Gale and Dewey must have had a screen relationship, because they would never cut it in real life. How true you are. Also note all the references to previous Wes Craven movies. Awesome.

#6- The killer is on top of your car, you look around, he's gone. You OBVIOUSLY scared him off. So what do you do now? Get out of the car. Give me a break.

#7- It bothered me that all these kids have phones, but none of them have personalized ring tones or wallpapers. They were all the stock ones installed on the phone when you first get it. How realistic is that?

#8- The murders are starting again, so what does Dewey do? Post 2 guards at Sidneys house to watch over her. Good job, that will work. You may have been in the 3 other Screams, but you obviously did NOT pay any attention to them.

#9- When Mary McDonnell (AKA the Aunt AKA President Rosalyn from Battlestar Galactica) comes home from the store, Sidney starts to unload the groceries. Look at the box of Cheerios she takes out, its already open.

#10- Another Hayden Panettiere rant. Sorry, but you can NOT act. No joke, just thought your acting was terrible.

#11- Knives can go through sturdy wooden doors? Who knew? #12- There is a serial killer on the loose, coming after you, its night time, the door is locked, so obviously its the perfect time to check on your potted plants, or wind chimes as the case may be.

#13- Anthony Anderson, I don't care what role you're in, or how hard you try, you will ALWAYS be comic relief. Sorry, thats just the way it is. At least you'll always have a job. Oh by the way, lay off Bruce Willis.

#14- The cameras are being moved, as you can see on your screen Gale, obviously messing with your laptop is going to fix this.

#15- All the stuff plugged into that lap top, how much battery life do you think it would have? It would have drained its battery before Stab 1 even started.

#16- Deputy Hicks - You are just a bad actress as Hayden was. YOU WERE TERRIBLE. And weird, like a not so freaky looking Christina Ricci...If you can imagine that.

#17- For that matter, most of the time the NEW cast was trying to be the OLD cast really hard.

Anyhow, you get what I mean........

I have to say though, it was nice to see a usual slasher film that I grew up with back again for todays kids to see. If you're going to see Scream then you know what you're getting into, its not thought provoking nor will it change your life. But it will keep you entertained for a few hours.

This is how its done. Not all the crap that Hollywood is putting out, its done Cravens way. The Right Way.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Die Holmes-With a Vengeance

[10/10 · 29 December 2009]

Anyone who is anyone knows that Sherlock Holmes is the world's greatest detective…Hands down…Sorry Batman. And also like Batman, James Bond, Superman and so so many others, the remake was bound to happen…..yet unlike many of the others that have come out…This one is actually good.

Robert Downey Jr. (Who is just awesome to begin with) gives a more realistic and updated portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, almost like a old time London Grissom from CSI. Holmes is someone you can relate to and who is likable from the start, but who is still way smarter than you will ever be. Oh yea, he can also kick butt, full UFC style kick butt. Add in Jude Law as John Watson and strangely you get a duo that really works, which is weird because Law always seems so distant in his other roles, this one fits him perfectly. Instead of Holmes being the super smart one and Watson by his side agreeing with him constantly, this team is an actual team. Both have parts to play in the scheme of the mysteries they solve and they seem to be on an equal friendship with one and other. Most of the dialogue between them seems like ad-libs more than script, and comes off so realistically that you could almost believe it to be true. The end credits will roll and you will want more, it pulls you in and makes you honestly care what happens to them.

Yet unlike Bond or Batman, this Remake doesn't give you the old stuff from before made new (No 'Elementary Dear Watson' or 'The Game is A foot' or the old hat for that matter) but what we do get is a truer take on the character than we've ever seen before. I think Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would be very happy with this version of this detective, very happy indeed.

Yet, having said that, there were a few things that made me wonder, like….

#1-Holmes keeps using his drugs and experiments and what not on the dog, yet no one thinks to take the dog away from him? When is enough enough people?

#2-Watson gets all the shards of wood and what not in him after the explosion on the dock, and you're telling me he doesn't stay in the hospital longer? Old time medicine sure works a lot faster than ours does.

#3-On that same point, Watsons arm is in a sling after the explosion, yet when he is rescuing Holmes form the river he uses both of them to reel Holmes in without a wince of pain. What gives?

#4-There was a lot of, 'Oh that is a coincidence' moments in the movie, like at the end. It was a coincidence that the rope was under Blackwoods foot, a coincidence that there was an anchor there to pull him down, a coincidence that there was an ax there to cut the rope at the right time…You get my drift.

#5-In parliament, there are like 6 guys holding hands to keep people from getting out of the room as the gas is about to come in. Sorry, but if it was me knowing something like that was about to happen I would beat past those guys and get the hell outta there right quick.

There are more but I won't bore you, the plain and simple of the movie is this. Its good clean who done it fun at the movies, a nice break from vampires and aliens. It's good to see more of Robert Downey Jr. he is an amazing actor and the roles he is picking now a days fit him to a 'T'. You go Tony Stark!

If they keep this type of storytelling up, there is no reason why this couldn't be a nice little franchise to revisit in the future. James bond could get a run for his money. As for Sherlock Holmes himself, after so long away, it's nice to have him back again.

Avatar (2009)

Wow...That is the only way to describe it.

[10/10 · 20 December 2009]

I can't honestly say I am a huge James Cameron fan (Lucas and Spielberg hold that honor) but his movies never cease to give you more of what you want out of movies, an escape from the every day. Avatar does just that, takes you on one wild far out ride. The graphics are amazing; I was seriously sitting there trying to figure out what was real and what was not. It's hard, because it all fits together so seamlessly that you actually believe that Pandora exists and that you could really go there. Even the aliens looked real; the Sigourney Weaver Avatar LOOKED JUST LIKE Sigourney Weaver. Like she was wearing makeup or something like that. And let's be honest, who hasn't wanted to see Sigourney Weaver as an 8 foot tall blue alien? But this also made me think that if we have this type of technology now just think of what we could do!? Chris Farley in a movie with Humphrey Bogart? Who knows? The possibilities are limitless! Leave it to the creator of the Terminator to come up with this. This movie WILL change the way all future movies are made, of that there is no doubt.

But as I watched a few things came to my mind that bothered me and I hope you will indulge me for a moment.....

#1-Why is it that every movie that uses the military uses them as bad guys who are hell bent on killing and blowing things up? Once the main Colonel came on screen I said "There's your 'Bad Guy'" He fit the typical stereo type of military in movies to a T. Too over the top of you ask me, like a cartoon villain.

#2-So the main brother dies and they decide to bring in the twin brother Jake to take his place, with no background information or training for this mission? This guy has no idea what he's doing, so what would the odds be of him getting there and being killed after the first day cause he had no idea what to expect? If the Avatars were so expensive you think they would spend more time to train him so he lives and gets the job done instead of throwing him into it and hoping for the best.

#3-So this mineral is important, I get it, and they want it bad I get that too. But with the technology that the humans have why didn't they just dig under the tree? Why bother the locals if they are so hell bent against you? Use the Avatars to mine the mineral behind the locals backs and your problem is solved.

#4-Michelle Rodriguez's character.....I get she was the 'Ripley' of the movie. But why is the 'rebel chick who will save the day' always the one in the tight fitting and rather revealing outfit? Also, half the things she wore cannot possibly be regulation military wear, if it is I wanna join.

#5-Why did this corporation have the military there anyway? It was not a military operation, and you have big bulldozers that would easily crush the locals, so why bother with the Jarheads?

#6-There was no plot. Sorry, but it's true. This was pretty much Dances with Wolves like everyone says. You can see it coming a million miles away. The first 20 minutes into Avatar and I knew where it was going. It was awesome to see and experience, but there was no reason to really be there.

#7-Thank god they had that mind transferring tree thing, because Jake alienates himself from the humans to live with the locals. Hate to tell you Jake but you are still a guy in an Avatar body, what kind of life would you have living two lives? Would your human body really be able to take that for a long extended period of time? Did you think that through? #8-Seriously, was all the bombs and blowing up stuff REALLY needed? There had to be another way. That was too much. Committing genocide for some rocks? Dear lord, what will we become? Please tell me this is not because of global warming.

There are others but just minor nitpicks from me and I won't bother you with them.

Don't get me wrong, Avatar is an experience like no other, but you need to leave the rational part of your mind at the door, this is the type of movie that takes you away to another place but refuses to answer your questions when you're done.

And that's all we want now a days anyway, a movie that will take us away from reality for a while.

The Unborn (2009)

The unborn - The sibling you never wanted.

[1/10 · 15 July 2009]

I saw the trailer for this movie and it looked good, looked like every typical horror movie, but this one had a hot chick in it and the scene of her walking around in her undies....Mmmmmmm.... I should have stuck with the trailer, this movie was horrible. It starts right into the action, not really giving you an idea of what is going on and it stays like that for quite a while. The sad thing is you pretty much figure out what is going on early in and its like a train wreck, you can't look away cause you want to see what drugs the writers were on as they came up with this silly plot.

THE GOOD THING, Odette Yustman. She is oh so very hot in this movie. She is the one and only reason to sit through the whole movie. Yummy.

THE BAD THING: A few come to mind, humor me if you will as i vent....

#1-She just has sex with her boyfriend and what is the first thing he want to talk about afterwords? Death and falling forever through the universe. Wow, talk about hot pillow talk.

#2-Her friend Romy just instantly believes Casey off the bat, not after the 'This has to be in your mind' speech, then instantly believes her. Wow, wish i had friends like that.

#3-Her boyfriend, he doesn't even question the fact that his girlfriend wants to have an exorcism out of nowhere. Guess if you had Casey for a girlfriend you'd do anything she said too.

#4-Gary Oldman (Whom I personally love as an actor, don't get me wrong) as the Rabbi. He has a strange girl walk into his office, start giving him a really strange story about her life being threatened by demons and the like and he doesn't call the loony bin first off? The she has him translate a huge book? Oh sure, why not, he had nothing else better to do.

#5-The exorcism goes to hell, and the priest Wyndham is possessed. Casey and her boyfriend beat him up and barely escape his wrath with their lives, so what do you do after that? SIT RIGHT NEXT TO THE BODY. Sure why not? Hes obviously dead, and it HAS to be safe. RUN DUDE!!

#6-The old lady ties the whole thing to a concentration camp. Come on, are you serious? So this spirit has been out and abo9ut on the town for how many years and one day decides, "Hey, wonder what Casey is up to?"

#7-So you're telling me that an old lady with a cane can out run a possessed dude crawling around like a crab with an upside down head? Guess I lost that bet.

I could go on (believe me) but I will spare you. The cliff notes version of this review is this:

#-Save your money/time/sanity and watch the trailer for free online.

#-Odette Yustman is hot

Also, the ending, not that big of a shock. Figured it out early on in. Hollywood, you have got to do better (And I don't mean by 're-inventing' old horror movies, you need to come out with something new or you may loose lots of us who have watched movies our whole lives.)

Warehouse 13 (2009–2014)

X Files meets Bones meets Indiana Jones meets Twilight zone meets....

[10/10 · 13 July 2009]

....Fringe meets Torchwood meets...er, well you get the idea. I have to admit that once I saw the previews for this show on the new SyFy (Whats with that name anyhow?) i thought it would be boring the same old same old crap that had been done a billion plus times before, but i had to give it a try anyway. I was NOT sorry. This show is awesome, and has lots of room for some really good storytelling....an entire warehouse full of storytelling. The idea is simple, there are strange/supernatural objects in the world that should not fall into the wrong hands, so what do you do with them? Store them in 'Americas Attic' AKA Warehouse 13. The two characters Bering (who is oh so very hot..Like a more kick ass-ed Scully with the appeal of Olivia Dunham of Fringe) and her unlikely partner Lattimer (unlikely agents forced to work together, sound familiar?) were very likable, Lattimer is hilarious and Bering is the by the book agent who can't believe her eyes. I was also impressed by Artie, the guy who watches the warehouse, he was a very likable and funny character. Things he said made sense to him but were funny to us cause we have no idea what he means. Also the technology, although old fashioned, awesome none the less. Some of the tech is very Cyber punk-ish and stuff I found myself saying "I want that." I will definitely be tuning every week, this warehouse will have a constant visitor....Me in case you were wondering.