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Wrecker (2016)
Essentially plagiarism
I don't even know where to begin with this movie. The first thirty minutes (after a pointless and confusing pre-credit scene) is not only a "remake of Duel" but a beat for beat, practically shot for shot, at times line for line rip-off of Duel. I mean, despite the fact that there is no mention of Steven Spielberg or Richard Matheson in the credits of Wrecker, the first half of this movie copies EVERYTHING from Duel. Lines, shots, framing... Like, I'm fairly certain that someone has grounds for a legal suit here. I mean, if I just remake a complete shot for shot, line for line (plus f-words) remake of a TV movie from 40 years ago and basically call it my own work, is that just okay? After copy and pasting the first half of Duel into his Final Draft script-writing program, hack writer/director Michael Bafaro then got to work on changing the middle of an already excellent movie. The only difference in the set-up is that instead of one man on the road alone, it's two completely unlikable girls. They go through, step by step, the exact same beats as Dennis Weaver's character in the original Duel. And then, halfway through, when hack writer/director Michael Bafaro has to deviate from the original script for a variety of reasons (among them being he's not a very good film maker), he does so by writing out the other girl completely, never to be seen again. ...Then why did hack writer/director Michael Bafaro make it two girls in the first place? You'll have to ask hack writer/director Michael Bafaro.
So yeah, the other girl disappears and the remaining girl continues to get terrorized. There's some terrible acting, a lot of boring driving, a telephone booth sequence taken whole from Duel, and then it eventually ends with a terrible and lame CGI rendition of the evil tow truck falling off a cliff.
And these are not spoilers. Watching this movie is the spoiler. It spoiled my evening and my mood. If you haven't seen Duel, go watch it and stay clear of this movie. Unless, for some reason, you want to see the same script interpreted by someone with a passion for film making and storytelling (Steven Spielberg) vs. someone who has no clue and apparently has no problem plagiarizing someone else's work (hack writer/director Michael Bafaro). Then perhaps it could be an interesting learning experience. Michael Bafaro sucks.
Just for example, real quick.... The entire time you're watching Wrecker, you're like... why don't these two idiot girls just turn around and either go home or find another way to get to their... stupid ski resort or whatever it was. While that makes no f'ing sense here, in the original Duel, Dennis Weaver has an important work meeting to get to and frankly has no choice but to keep going and hope he can shake the crazy truck driver. You see, because hack writer/director Michael Bafaro is not a creative person and when left to his own devices, can not differentiate between logical character motivation and people just doing things for no reason.
Michael Bafaro sucks and so does this movie. I'm offended by Wrecker both as a writer myself and as a movie fan. Even if he was given remake rights to Duel (which I don't think he was), that's no excuse for using 3/4ths of the script and not even crediting the original writer.
Ever Since the World Ended (2001)
Hilariously bad
Bad. Bad, bad, bad. I actually discovered new levels of bad while watching this movie. Geez... where to begin...
Let's begin with what this movie is supposed to be about. Some number of years ago the majority of the population of the world was killed off by a plague. Think The Stand, but duller. Apparently, a couple of dudes from San Fransisco decide to wander around and interview the survivors (186 in San Fran to be exact).
Now, I completely understand the low budget thing. But, are we to assume that no news footage of the plague exists to set up the documentary? It would be very easy and inexpensive to stage a fake news report and also, thinking of how an actual documentary would be made it seems like an obvious thing to include. Secondly, the stories being told by the interviewees are so muddled and confusing, that there is really no story to be found. And, I'm being completely serious when I say that I think most of the actors were high as a kite during filming.
Another annoying aspect of this movie was the decisions of what still existed and what didn't. I mean, there appears to be some level of society yet no one has a car? There's electricity and people living in nice homes, but the only person who seems to have a "job" is the local scrounger guy who can "get ya anything ya want." Apparently, the survivors of the plague are perfectly content to not let civilization evolve back to normality. I guess they don't want pot to become illegal again and ruin all their hippy fun. Haha.
The best part of the movie is the ending which takes place at the premier of the documentary in a local theater. How can the premier of your movie be IN your movie??? Gee whiz.
I think my friend put it best... If one of the basic rules of movie-making is "show, don't tell" then this movie showed absolutely nothing, and well... told even less. The only reason to see this movie is to get as high as the filmmakers were during filming with your friends and laugh at how poorly made it is.
Hatchet (2006)
Not what I expected at all...
Hatchet is not disappointing in and of itself. What did disappoint me is that it wasn't the movie I thought I was going to see based on the trailer. When I watched the trailer again after seeing the film, I actually thought that it's a better slasher film than the actual movie.
To say that Hatchet is a "true masterpiece of horror" or "the best slasher film in 20 years" is extremely misleading. It's gory, the kills are vicious, and you'll jump every once in a while, but for those who are truly fans of the classic 80s slasher movies, in my opinion, you will leave a bit disappointed. I guess I better explain... Slight spoilers follow...
First of all, I have to say that the acting was absolutely not a problem in the movie. And while everyone is quite entertaining and funny, it seems as though every conversation is either back-story or just jokes. With the exception of the scenes with Victor Crowley (which has actually pretty well-done killing scenes) the entire movie is more or less a comedy. While that's all well and good, I came to see a scary movie, not Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was starting to expect Victor Crowley to break into a little dance or something.
The atmosphere in a slasher film is 80% of the scary part. Realistic terror from the actors (not yelling over each other about silly pointless stuff when they should be worried about a deranged psycho killer in the woods!!) and a deliberate, methodical killer would, to me, be the two most important aspects of a slasher film. However, we never once see Victor Crowley doing anything other than killing. He pops up and kills. I would have loved to have seen him watching the tour group while only we in the audience know he's there. Or anything, for that matter, that would have made Victor Crowley seem like anything more than just a frenetic crazy killer guy.
If you want to go see a funny, entertaining, often gory little movie that will occasionally make you jump, I definitely recommend Hatchet. However, if you're expecting to see the next Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees, you won't find it here. There's nothing scary about it. Maybe the movie I saw is exactly what the director/writer set out to do. The movie he made however, misses as a return to the roots of 80s slasher horror.
Transformers (2007)
So disappointing
I have always been a huge Transformers fan. I WANTED to enjoy this movie yet I can honestly say I can't remember ever being so disappointed in a film. I think I started to hate it when Bumblebee urinated on an FBI agent. Somewhere around there.
*SPOILERS* First of all, to even say that this movie is about the Transformers is a bit misleading. In reality, it's about Shia LeBouf's character with appearances by the Transformers. When I go see a movie about the Transformers, I want to see more than one scene containing a conversation between those characters.
In fact, the Transformers were so poorly characterized, that when Megatron and Optimus Prime actually do fight, I don't even give a crap, because I feel like I barely know them. Megatron has about five lines and he doesn't even show up until literally 2 hours into the film. And I sure don't want to sit through a lame-ass love story when there is plenty of Autobot and Decepticon action to be watching.
The entire film is completely unfocused. It's completely unclear what the Decepticons are doing on Earth and whether or not that Megatron is even the leader. And even though each Decepticon introduces themselves, afterwards it's almost impossible to tell them apart.
Another thing that really bugged me was the films annoying obsession with this sitcom-type humor. Don't get me wrong, I love some comedy in my action movies, but the silly lowbrow comedy just didn't go with the attempt to set the action in a real-world setting. There were genuinely funny parts, of course, but I was so annoyed with the potty humor junk that it was hard to enjoy them.
Obviously there are many people who have posted positive reviews of this film and they're entitled to their opinion. I guess they just have an ability to enjoy senseless overly long movies with no substance that I don't.