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Reviews
StarStruck (2010)
Disney Channel, quit spawning all this fail!
*moderate spoilers, maybe* I just finished watching this movie, and I have to say... as a Michigan teenager myself, I'm kind of offended that they think this portrayal of a Michigan (which, by the way, is NOT pronounced "Mich-uh-gun" by locals; I can guarantee that I know nobody who says it like this) teen is realistic. The girl's a complete diva! Her mannerisms are nothing like those of anyone you would meet here. I promise you, we're not all dimwitted snobs who speak with a bitchy demeanor. Not that I'm denying that Michigan has some snooty people. Trust me, I have met some. But NONE of them are to this degree.
The actual movie itself is on par with the rest of the recent ones: BAD. They make me long for the days of actually GOOD Disney Channel Original Movies. Granted, none of them are spectacular examples of acting, but at least the earlier ones had a decent amount of taste and some sense of morality. Here, the girl acts like a completely HORRIBLE person for the duration of the movie, and she STILL gets what she wants. (Even when she's defending him, her tone still reeks of diva.) What kind of message is that supposed to send? "Be a bitch, it'll get you far in life"? I definitely recommend that you stick to good old Disney movies, like the animated features of the 90s and earlier, or anything Pixar. Movies like this one honestly make me lose a little of my faith in humanity. If this is what teenage girls have come to, I'm ashamed to be forced to include myself in that category.
One star out of 10.
P.S. If you do visit Michigan, PLEASE do not let this piece of fail ruin your impression of us. We are, on the whole, a generally nice and friendly group of people. I can guarantee you that none of us will treat you as terribly as the "Michigan" teens in this film treat each other.
The Mighty B! (2008)
...Really?
I don't know if this will contain spoilers or not, but here goes...
Right from the start, I was wary about this show. I would watch the commercials and think, This will be nothing more than a feeble attempt to recapture Nick's 90s glory. Then, I reminded myself that I shouldn't judge before watching it. So, one day when I had nothing to do, I sat down and gave it a try.
Unfortunately, my expectations were pretty much right on target. The whole bee/"B" theme comes off as really obnoxious, and right from the start I saw stereotypes: nerdy girls, popular girls, uptight teacher-figures, annoying little brothers...the word "hippie" was even present in the dialogue of one episode, speaking of a museum worker (named Rainbow, if I'm not mistaken, yet another stereotype). I saw this particular show, and it left me open-mouthed, wondering why in the world this was necessary. Continuing on, the characters have no depth and the plots are cookie-cutter-ish and uninteresting. The name of the show itself is questionable. Yes, the girl's name is Bessie, but if there is actually going to be a superhero-figure called "The Mighty B", why not focus the show more on that? All I saw relating to the name were 15-second clips of what she would have done if she were a superhero.
As with most shows, I really wish that I could think of it in a way other than negatively, but...seriously? Come on. We should be expecting something truly genius out of Amy Poehler. The one redeeming quality of this show, in fact, is that she created it. On the other end of the spectrum, she is the last person I would expect to create something of such poor quality is this. I mean, Amy Poehler is one of the best people in comedy today, especially with her SNL stuff. She never fails to make me laugh.
Well, except for now.
A word to Nickelodeon: Unless you can come up with something that genuinely resembles the great cartoons of the 90's or you put the old shows back on (like All That, Rocko's Modern Life, Doug, Spongebob pre-Spongebob movie, etc.), please don't bother introducing shows like "Mighty B"...Please.
2/10, solely for Amy Poehler.
Hannah Montana (2006)
How is this show as well-liked as it is? (possible spoilers)
Why is this show so immensely popular? Back in 2006, I saw the first episode and thought, Hey, this isn't so bad. As the series progressed, however, I found Hannah Montana to be incredibly dull, unrealistic, and a terrible example for children.
Let's start with the "dull" part: Hannah Montana completely lacks in just about everything. For example, the laugh track is played obnoxiously often throughout the show at moments that aren't even remotely funny. The "comedy" also desperately needs better acting; I haven't seen a difference in Miley's expressions at all, and it's always the same little grimace and hand motions. A good or even decent actress would know to vary facial expressions and movements. Simply walking around with hands and arms in the shrug position doesn't cut it. It's not just Miley that demonstrates the poor caliber of acting; nearly the whole cast is incapable of acting. Emily Osment is the only exception. Aside from the acting, the plot line is exceptionally bland; it chronicles the double life of a not-so-great teenager. Personally, I could think of so much more enlightening subjects around which to base a show.
Moreover, the show is totally unrealistic. Blonde wigs don't magically transform people into mediocre singers (yes, I just called the singing mediocre). Any person can see that Miley looks exactly like Hannah Montana (hmm, wonder why), and therefore Miley would be mobbed as soon as she stepped out of her front door. However, she is totally able to keep her cover and keep her night life under the radar like magic.
Also, the show is an atrocious example for the young children who watch this show. It insists that it's okay to be exceptionally cruel to your friends; they'll always come back. It says to feel free to use all the sarcasm you want; it doesn't affect people. That is not the way the world works; cruelty should not be acceptable. It should not be funny, either. For some reason, we are supposed to find insults, sarcasm, and bad attitudes to be hilarious. Miley is basically a spewing fountain of sarcasm. I can't recall one episode where she hasn't used her "Ya think?!" line (multiple times at that, and apparently this is "funny"). Since when is shouting at your supposed "best friends" okay to do? I have a five-year-old relative, and she adores the Disney Channel, in particular Hannah Montana. About three months ago, her mother had to ban her from watching the show because she was developing an attitude similar to Miley's: mean, sarcastic, and trashy. Here was a five-year-old little girl who was back-sassing her parents, acting like she owned the world, treating her younger brother like dirt, and dancing in a very suggestive manner. Was the aim of the Disney Channel to produce a show that would transform all the innocent little girls of the USA into trashy preteens?
This show is possibly the worst show the Disney Channel has come up with. It's sad to see that this is what kids are watching. I advise everyone to stay away; the show is not all it's cracked up to be.
A very sad 1/10.
High School Musical 2 (2007)
Completely unnecessary, badly written, and an unfortunate display of the Disney Channel's downward spiral
I really wish I could think of this movie in a way other than negatively.
I cannot stand sequels in general, and this one, I must say, was one of the most pointless. High School Musical centered around...well, just that. High School Musical 2 had nothing to do with a musical; it was simply a group of almost-juniors (or whatever grade they're in) getting summer jobs with each other and the issues they face with the jobs. Sure, there was a performance at the end, but that doesn't make up for the absence of the movie's namesake. The plot line was bland and really predictable: Jealous girl loves cute guy who's into another girl, so jealous girl gets angry and goes out of her way to make sure the relationship fails, but jealous girl's plan blows up in her face. Have we not seen that enough in our own lives? I was not thrilled to learn that a High School Musical 2 was being made, but I decided to give it a chance anyway. After viewing the movie, all I can say is this: HSM2 is just another example of how Disney Channel has evolved from a decent channel to a complete wreck.
The one good thing of this movie was Ashley Tisdale's performance; she got the character of Sharpay spot-on. (Edit: After being forced to watch the movie multiple times over, I have "repealed" my statement on Ashley Tisdale's performance: She went completely over the top. No one acts like that; it's not even CLOSE to realistic. She's like a slightly smarter, more catty version of Paris Hilton.)
A very unfortunate 1/10.