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Reviews
Frozen II (2019)
Fun Fact: this movie is bad
What an absolute mess. The only saving grace of this film is the visuals and voice actress for Elsa.
The songs are exceptionally weak this time around, and you can feel the studio crammed in as many as possible in hopes to artificially create another "let it go" phenomenon.
The amount of songs kills the pacing of this movie. I thought in musicals the songs were supposed to progress the plot, Not stop the plot dead so someone can sing.
Anna voice actress has a couple terrible notes she hits that they left in the final cut of the film. My wife and I winced when she was singing on multiple occasions.
The plot sucks. That's it. It just sucks. They tried to retcon the parents into being good people and not the terrible monsters that they were in the original Frozen. Literally the entire plot happens literally for NO REASON. Elsa pushes her sister away for no reason, Elsa gets frozen alone for no reason, Anna gets an exposition dump snow sculpture that drops right in front of her and Olaf for no reason, they break the dam and Elsa is then unfrozen for no reason. Even the very beginning of the movie has zero purpose. Elsa hears a singing voice for literally no reason at all. Why is all this stuff with nature happening now? No reason. Why didn't her mother tell her father that she's who saved him and is a forest spirit? No reason. Why did they even create a second movie? Money...
The Floor (2024)
Room Temperature IQs Welcome
I had a lot of hope for the concept of this show. I love trivia and trivia shows, but this is just a "name that picture" game. They literally put a picture of a writing pen on the screen so someone could answer "pen!"
The timer is inconsistent and will eliminate players who answer correctly and still have 2-3 seconds left on their time.
Speaking of time, The Floor loves to waste it. There is so much dead space between showdowns so we can hear cringe and corny dialogue from anyone with a tongue and a mouth hole.
Rob Lowe has some pretty poor chemistry with the cast and comes off as generally passé. He seems genuinely uncomfortable to be there and often seems to glaze over behind the eyes and say things a human being on autopilot would say.
If you like trivia I'd wait till the whole show is fully out and have your remote on standby so you can zoom through all the filler garbage and knock out all the trivia in about 3 hours.
Edit: All the "unhelpful" user ratings of my review only proves more that this show was made for dullards. Write your own review sticking up for the show if you disagree with me so hard. I'm not afraid of being the only correct person in a room, let alone the internet. Bite me.
Nope (2022)
Not Nope, but eeeeeehhhhhh
Outstanding creature design! Fantastic concept! Wildly weird and slightly obnoxious execution. First Jordan P. Movie over ever watched, so I'm not cued in to his style. This was pretty enjoyable though. I'd say the first 1/2 had my cocking my head and going "huuuuuuuuh." I even almost turned this movie off at a certain point. The dialogue felt very overwhelming and disjointed. I was stressed out by how the characters interacted with each other. The secondary character (sister) has WAY TOO MANY LINES!!! The main character (brother) has hardly any lines at all! I get that she is the mouth and he is the silent and strong one. But he doesn't even hardly convey emotions, or concepts or anything. And the sister gave my a splitting migraine that I had to nurse from about the 1/8 mark up until the end. "Watch it or don't." That's how I feel the movie feels about itself. Now that it exists, it doesn't care if you see it or not.
V/H/S (2012)
Worse than I remember
Very irredeemable (wannabe snuff) film. I remember seeing this when I was 15 and kinda liking it. Makes sense, as I was (am?) a brooding loser with apparently trash taste in movies (if I liked THIS). Upon rewatch i was incredibly disappointed with the entire ensemble of shorts, as well as the STUPID framing device used to string this nonsense together. The only quality this movie has which saves it from being a 1 star would be the artistry used when filming the 'I Like You' section of the movie. Genuinely talented skill and effort was put into the gimmick of that anthology section, where the whole thing is supposedly being filmed from this dudes googles glasses. Other than that one part that future filmmakers may use for future inspiration, this movie is a dumpster sandwich. Not worth consumption.
The Bye Bye Man (2017)
Dazzling
Prepare to have your mind blown out the back of your skull! The Bye Bye Man is the newest hit classic someone dug out of my toilet bowl this morning after I had a Taco Bell Pizza Hut Macdonalds stew for supper last night. Grab a glass of bleach, a bowl of tide pods, all your nonexistent friends, and sit back and stare down the barrel of The Bye Bye Man. Sure, you could pop your zits till they bled for an hour and a half, or you could join the big boys and turn on The Bye Bye Man to experience REAL pain.
Who will or could ever forget The Bye Bye Man!?With incredible characters such as:
-black roommate
-not British girl
-emo/goth/wicca girl
-sunken-in-eyes-boy
-the conductor who says "NO"
-(and my personal favorite) black librarian who's death NO ONE saw coming (F)
Anyways, this movie blows. If you have fun/funny friends I suppose you can have a decent time with it.
Ang-ma-reul bo-at-da (2010)
Needed More Revenge
Put me on a watch list, but I wish we could have seen the main culprit in this movie physically tortured for maybe another 30-40 minutes. I'm not a person who needs trigger warnings before consuming content, but this movie will get your blood a boiling! I have extremely minor issues with the movie and the chronology in which it presents itself, as well as a few common sense issues prevalent in the plot.
Chronology issue 1: The agent and main antagonist are sharing a secret hospital room and have been said to have been "out for two days" referring to them both being unconscious. However, this scene is followed by the cannibal couple being taken away in an ambulance, when this scene should have been inserted before the secret hospital room scene; making it seem more like all 3 suspects were apprehended around the same time (albeit, by two completely different agencies).
Chronology issue 2: Days after the agent releases the main antagonist from the hospital there is a 'tables turn' situation and the agent needs to return to the cannibal couple (at the hospital) for questioning. Before the agent returns to the hospital we see the cannibal couple being rushed passed the other Korean agents into intensive care for absolutely no reason. This scene should have also taken place prior, and probably should have been inserted directly after the secret hospital room scene, so that there wasn't such a large gap of time between them being loaded in an ambulance and being taken to intensive care.
Common sense issue 1: In the final act of the movie the main culprit is able to retaliate towards the agent by attacking his would-be in-laws in their home. After the agent shows up he is allowed to enter the premises (by the police) where the crime was just committed. His (would-be) father in law has just been beaten within an inch of his life, and there's a bandage around his head (indicating he has had some sort of medical attention). However, he is laid out on the ground gargling on his own blood while the agent kneels over him, when he should be getting loaded up in an ambulance and rushed off to the hospital.
I apologize to any lovers of this movie who may take issue with these minor nitpicks. I loved this movie. Its brilliance far outshines any flaws it may have. Watch it with your grandma, watch it with your mom, throw it on for the kids when you need some time to candy crush.