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Reviews
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Remove your rose-colored lenses
This was an okay film. Well, it would have been good if about 20% was edited from every scene. 3 hrs 20 mins for this? And parts of the end were even in slow motion like finally ending this thing was a tease. At least give me an intermission.
The first two were far better as there was actual character interaction. I recall laughing in the other films. I laughed only once during this one. ROTK felt like a giant Dragonball Z show or Pro wrestling where there's all this build up to battles with big talk and grand epic shots. Too much "it's going to be a tough battle" lines and no real characters. Where was the Legolas/Dwarf banter for example? And my lord, please I can't possibly watch so many scenes of people with tears and smiling at each other with swooshing crescendos in the background score.
There was so much heavy-handed love for your fellow man in this that it seemed like a middle earth It's A Wonderful Life.
La pianiste (2001)
pretentious, pointless, slow; more dumb than shocking
This film was very bad. Don't let a sundance award, 2-hour length, and the wacky dichotomy of high culture and sex fool you. I love Classical music but the dialogue about Schubert, Schoenberg and Bruckner sounded horribly pretentious.
Many scenes are way too long. I'll give you an example. I love Kubrick films, but when they are slowly paced, it is to enforce a mood or to add some white space to a colorful tapestry. It's like the editor for this film was on sabbatical. It doesn't help that you have no desire to care about the characters either. How can I care about a "protagonist" who never smiles? At least bad guys in other movies get some joy out of being evil. This lady is just an irritating witch. I'll give the lady props for doing a fine job of acting, but that's as close as I can come to praise for this film.
The events, violence, and sexual aspects aren't even weird or shocking. Lynch has got weird/shocking nailed. There's no reason to expect anything that ends up taking place. But it's not because the story is original, it's because the story has no underlying theme or purpose.
And if you want to *enjoy* a cinematic application of the Schubert piano trio in e flat, watch Barry Lyndon.
Lost in Translation (2003)
mellow and cute
This movie was pleasant and cute. There weren't huge laughs but it wasn't melodramatic either. I guess some people here viewed it as pretentious, but I liked the characters enough that that idea didn't cross my mind.
If you like slower mellower movies that don't have the headquarters blowing up at the end or a lot of pompous posing, give this a shot. Not as good as Rushmore, but surely better than Ghost World. Also, some other folks felt this was depressing/whiny... if you want depressing and whiny and characters you really don't care about, go watch The Hours. At least the characters in LiT have charm so you actually have a reason to want to sympathize with them.
A Night at the Opera (1935)
still entertaining for a twenty-year-old
I'm in my twenties, so that gives you my cultural perspective on this film. I found ANATO pretty entertaining. Yeah, I fast-forwarded through the two signing numbers, and yeah a few jokes fell flat. But all in all this were some pretty absurd funny things going on. I can see how Bugs Bunny cartoons got some of their shenanigans. Much better rental that any current generic Hollywood muck. The hotel room and ship room scenes were funny because the people involved just accepted the abnormality, where any rational person wouldn't get caught up in it all. So, good dumb/ridiculous humor. Kind of a much tamer Adam Sandler.
The Hours (2002)
why do i care about these characters?
I had trouble caring for these characters. The moment you meet them they're all depressed and pathetic. If this were a tragedy, I could have something to respect in these people. Alex in A Clockwork Orange is a rapist, but he can appreciate art, and is charismatic. But these people are just depressed and hateful of existence. This film feels like empathy for the weak. If you don't like your situation, change it, don't whine. I mean, if these women had ANY admirable qualities I would still care about them despite their fecklessness.
Nicole Kidman did *not* deserve an award for her work. She wore a funny nose, used a brit accent, and was generally unpleasant to those around her. That's not hard to do. Heavy-handed symbolism (broken eggs = abortions way to escape) reminded me of Magnolia's frog-rain. (equally ridiculous).
Legally Blonde (2001)
one of the better films of this category
I'm a twenty-something male and I found this pretty entertaining. This movie doesn't try to be more than it is. It's fun, fast-paced, entertaining fluff. Much better than the dozens of Meg Ryan romantic comedies, each one seeming like it's the sequel of the prior.
Tuesdays with Morrie (1999)
we must love each other! we must love each other! we...
Hank Azaria's role is horribly stereotypical. He goes from ruthless soulless guy to I-love-life guy. Vapid, heavy-handed film. They beat you over the head with middle-school symbolism (his ignoring the telephone while in the middle of playing piano).
If you want to see real genuine characters with multifaceted personalities, watch Glengarry Glen Ross. I seem to recall Lemmon stating that it was the finest cast he ever worked with. Go see why.
The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)
Coens may know film history, but not music history
If you're familiar with Classical music, you'll notice that the slow movements of Beethoven's three most (arguably) famous piano sonatas (Pathetique, Moonlight, and Appassionata) are played throughout the movie. For supposed film historians you get the feeling that the Coen brothers got a Beethoven Greatest Hits disc and just tossed the slow parts on there.
And I suppose they were going for a moody feel, but the omnipresent and repetitive scoring made the already conspicuous selections feel forced.
Strictly Ballroom (1992)
Utter tripe
This is a wretched movie. Vaccuous, cliched characters. Yeah, we all agree it's no "Godfather," but there is nothing worthwhile in this movie. Now before you ignore this review, know that I enjoy dancing and have taken dance classes for a year and a half. I enjoy good dancing. I enjoy comedies.
Just because this is a comedy, doesn't mean it has to be devoid of all cleverness and originality. You want amusing overacting in a clever film? Watch George C. Scott in "Dr. Strangelove." You want lighthearted, capricious entertainment? Watch the French film, "Amelie." "Airplane" is great if you want sight gags. "The Graduate," "Groundhog Day," "Rushmore," and "Deconstructing Harry" are fabulous comedies. Watch them instead. I suppose "Strictly Ballroom" is enjoyed by the same audience that likes Ally McBeal. Obvious, dumbed-down humor: sight gags and appeals to baseness. This movie is as formulaic and replaceable as it gets.