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Reviews
Fight to Survive (2023)
The Bully show, that let's you down totally.
Whoever produced this garbage must of been asked to put together a show about Survival on an island with as little thought as possible into the actual rules of the show challenges themselves. The way this is set up all you have to be is the biggest most physical person of the cast and you will automatically succeed in all of it. Two people who were extremely weak minded and showed no tactical strength at all dominate the whole thing. Why did the producers pick such a diverse cast of people to have them clearly dominated by the strongest individuals with the most hand grip strength? If this was what the game was truly about instead of Survival plus challenges why not choose a cast of all retired wrestlers? It's sickening to your stomach to see the actions of a female cast member, who in real life wouldn't even be a Bully but this show perfectly catered to pull that personality she has been hiding out of her. This had so much potential unfortunately no thought went into the challenges or how to direct the show. Don't waste your time, find something better to binge watch. Beyond awful and could be possibly as bad as the movie CATS! Hack hack hack definitely a hairball idea!
South Park: Joining the Panderverse (2023)
South Park does a brilliant job once again.
I loved this episode of South Park! Using the cartoon to address the issue that is currently afflicting the whole movie industry was brilliant! I really hope Disney watches this with an open mind and brings attention to the way it writes and produces it's movies and shows. It will not only save their streaming service but also their loss at the box office. Too much diversity everywhere all at once all hero characters dead or remade to a woman is not a good thing. It only makes it boring and overwhelming to the audience. All lead characters are not all powerful women for a reason because they don't all fit the story narrative if they were. It's like making a vanilla milkshake with sprinkles on top and then deciding hey this would be better with some caramel, chocolate, and more sprinkles mixed in. So you just keep pumping caramel, chocolate and more sprinkles before long you don't even have a milkshake you have a glass of goo noone can eat because it's too rich and full of sprinkles. There should definitely be powerful, diverse, women leads! But how about you quit being lazy and robbing characters that already exist of their identities and create characters that can grow, adapt, and actually gain a large, money paying fan bases. Get rid of all this make believe multi-verse stuff. It's ruining movies and confusing the average fan. If science actually comes out and shows us a multiverse exists and we can see and touch it I'll start believing this garbage. Until then it's just an easy way to make more movies forcing character changes you want and stories fans don't. Disney you have a responsibility to the fans, you flexed your money muscles and purchased almost everything great in film. Now have the dignity to pull yourselves out of the hole and fix the issues you have created. It's like you bought all the most exotic predators on the planet that everyone loves to see in the zoo and only fed them vegetables. Now they are dying because you wanted them to be vegan sooo bad but they are meat eaters. Come on Disney you can do this.......and if you can't sell the properties to someone that cares enough who can. They are not just movies to the fans they are our escape from the real world that isn't fun all the time. It's our escape from the broken water heater, the medical bill from cancer treatment, the loss of a loved one, the customer that cussed us out at our job, the foreclosure on our house because our job left town, the divorce we are going through, and so many other things that plague our lives. You literally hold more Disney Magic in your hands than ever before. What would Walt do?
Cheers to South Park you guys nailed it!
Ahsoka: Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord (2023)
Well that fell like a lead balloon on fire
I just can't believe that what I enjoyed just a couple of episodes earlier turned into a heaping pile of Banta fodder. It had so much potential to end well despite an incredibly slow start and horrid acting by no emotion Sabine. The special effects and CGI were amazing unfortunately they were used in unbelievable circumstances. Like a Star Destroyer turning the ground right beneath it to mush and being able to ride through it on Willow Wolves unscathed like riding a horse through a hail storm. Really?! Then we are again witness to the almost hilarious cancelation of the lightsaber as a serious Jedi weapon it used to be. Now you can slap them together in seconds unfortunately they don't do much except deflect blaster bolts like a pretty party shield. They don't even knock down the Walking Dead Stormtroopers now......wait......what did I just say???? Yep! Night of the Living Dead was used in a Star Wars episode!!!!!! The worst part is it didn't have to be!!! Why put that cheap garbage in there? Zombie Troopers with green glowing helmet eyes that you can't cut in half with a lightsaber and literally try to BITE the heros. Apparently a green glowing witch sword that looked like it came from a cave in Skyrim is much more powerful than Gandalf the White Ahsokas dual lightsabers. Oh yeah as far as "The jump" was concerned, Luke, Obi-Wan, Qui Gon, Kitt Fisto, Yoda, Anakin, and all the other Jedi from The Phantom Menace-The Return of the Jedi could of made it in their sleep, both hands tied behind their backs, while wearing poka dotted rain boots. They didn't have to forced pushed by some emotionless half Jedi. Ray Stevenson was the best thing this show had to offer and the best episodes of this show were of him carrying the plot on his back. So sorry he passed.
I'm done with Disney, why have the power to buy everything up so you can slowly ruin it? Like all good things my Disney streaming account will now come to an end. One last thing the other reviewers giving this show a 10 and blowing the roof off with how great and marvelous it is......we know you are probably working for Disney to push ratings where you can. That is why you are getting about 20 people finding your review helpful out of over a one hundred or more. Face/palm.
To the true Star Wars fans out there, May The Force Be With You! Don't lose Hope because eventually Disney will sell the franchise hopefully to someone that knows what to do with it again and maybe in our lifetime. Fingers crossed!
Ahsoka: Part Six: Far, Far Away (2023)
It was good to see Thrawn....shrug...
It was so sad to lose Ray Stevenson but he played the performance of his career with wide shoulders large enough to carry bad actors. Sabine is horrible, devoid of emotion, skill, learning, empathy.....C3PO had more feeling. Why would you yell at a wolf/dog/horse/thing that looks like it came straight out of the original Willow movie because it alarmed you and ran off. It gave you a heads up but you didn't listen and then took way too many blaster bolts without her Mandalorian helmet. Then she is able to locate the good aliens from The Fifth Element (glad they are still alive). Who lead her to the most important thing in her life that she has felt so strongly to find.....only to show barely any emotion at all. Like you just ran into someone you went to school with at the grocery store.....not someone you have been craving to find. There was a weird Chronicles of Riddick vibe when they were flying down to the planet to land, the ship trailing condesation off the wing tips, music, and statues reminded me of Helium Prime. Even Thrawns #1 looks like he is wearing a necromancer mask. Of course this episode is setting up a very large action scene for the future, unfortunately it did it way to slowly. I would of rather stayed in the whale belly listening to Huyang tell the story of a galaxy far far away while traveling at lightspeed. The 3 witches from Clash of the Titans and Thrawn were mediocre at best. Baylon Skoll is the diamond in the rough here......amazing acting that saved the episode....again!
BTW I'm convinced the 9-10 level reviews can not be coming from anyone Gen X that grew up with Star Wars from the beginning. It stinks of Jedi come lately fans who grew up watching the last 3 movies and Star Wars cartoons. It's amazing how the rise of CGI special effects tech has undermined the actual story telling of this franchise. I guess with great special effects you can have bad acting and it will still be acceptable to most. Even if actors are supposed to ACT well to get paid big money. That's what they are on strike for....right??? Who knows these days, maybe poor performance still means good pay.
Ahsoka: Part Four: Fallen Jedi (2023)
This episode was worth the waiting, and waiting, etc.
Too bad you have to sit through 10 minutes more of bad dialogue between 2 characters acting like they are arguing over having to wait in line at the local DMV and not crash landed less than a mile from a bunch of their worst enemies. The boring garbage relationship tension between Ahsoka and Sabine is terrible. Let's barely argue inside a ship while we leave the Droid defenseless to repair the ship even though I just literally told him the enemy is out there watching. Oh by the way.... I'm the main hero basically in charge of protecting everyone, but who's keeping track. Then when he is attacked we will act like it can't be happening and he's just being "that crazy Droid again".
Then finally after countless hours of staring out at the ocean, it happened! Ray Stevenson shows and saves the day and the episode!!!!
Is something wrong with Ahsoka's legs and hips at this point in the story line? Everyone else is jumping around like banshees she can barely get her feet 2ft in the air. She literally got more air being force pushed than any offensive moves she made. I am not counting the cartwheel because everyone knows that's cheating.
The remix of hyper jumping your ship through the enemy fleet was back in case you missed it in the movies. Fortunately it takes out the White male X-Wing pilot before he could become any type of likable hero factor. Can't have that happen, can we?
There was also a weird "Bring your kid to Space Battle Day" vibe. The lightsaber duels were good for the soul and it felt like the story actually progressed rather than treading water, like Ahsoka will have to do at the end. I absolutely loved seeing Anakin Skywalker and I am truly hoping they embark on the explanation of where Jedi go after death. I actually can't wait to see the next episode!
Ahsoka: Part Three: Time to Fly (2023)
Wrong direction unfortunately.
After the previous episode I was holding out hope that Ahsoka was going in the right direction.....unfortunately I was wrong. The drawn out dialogue is terrible, Ahsoka seems incredibly depressed like anything that happens is a quiet annoyance that deserves a sigh and glance. Even a space battle seemed like an afterthought. Yep no big deal that just happened. What did you expect?
There needs to be a surge in motivation of characters for this to get better. To ask a Droid to explain something to you and then complain about the explanation makes the character look weak like they are having their time wasted just being there. But then having nerve racking moments of silence between characters staring at each other doing nothing is such a waste of what could of been.
Question: If you have to get that close to another spaceship to analyze what anyone could clearly see by looking at the darn thing, why not just go ahead and board it and take it out? A lot of needless filler hurt this episode.
Ahsoka: Part Two: Toil and Trouble (2023)
Better and gaining traction
This episode was an improvement from the first and felt like it flowed a lot better. The only issues I felt were important to point out were.
Droids although entertaining have taken over the good male roles, which included some droidsplaining while handing over a lightsaber. All other male actors are bad, weasels after money, or still secretly working for the Empire.
Evidently a lightsaber to the belly is survivable even though a battle droid could not survive it when Ahsoka used the same move during the battle at the shipyard docks, not to mention Qui Gon Jinn. The wound comes out looking like a large cigar burn than anything made by a weapon no part of your body should ever come in contact with. Please stop normalizing the lightsaber like it's found lying around in random boxes similar to a pistol or knife. This weapon is meant to be so powerful it invokes fear and shock when drawn on the enemy because it can only be wielded by those trained to do so. When it stabs or hits you there is instant death or you lose a limb.
I feel bad pointing this out because it is in no way Rosario Dawson's fault having to wear the costume in an action scenes must of been rough. The initial battle action between her and the battle droids at the docks looked like my 70 year old aunt attacking a wasp nest with two broom handles. CGI should of been used for this opening move so that it looked more like a Jedi and less arthritic.
Last and what I had the most issue with was you have a ship point blank firing at another tug boat ship with two dual cannons at distances between 50-1000ft and they can't hit it? Even the great Millennium Falcon took hits with a better pilot for sure. It was very Fast & Furious like and not in a good way.
Ahsoka (2023)
Skyrim much?
Did anyone else feel like they were Discerning the Transmundane in Skyrim when she was in the old ruins at the beginning of the episode, literally getting what looked like a mix between a Runed Lexicon and a Dwarven Sphere??? I was waiting for a Dwemer Centurion to crash through the wall. I instinctively grabbed my Xbox controller ready for the worst....cringe!
It wasn't a bad episode just about what I expected from Disney right now. It won't get better until they come to their senses and quit blaming the fans and give us what we want to see. Or sell off the franchise to someone else that cares enough to sit on it for at least 5 years and reboot off the original 3 using the number of wonderful Star Wars books written after episodes 4, 5, 6. Hopefully enough of the original fan base is still around to see this happen, we are not getting any younger but still hold out hope for the Republic. May The Force Be With You!
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow (2023)
Dumbed down Captain Kirk
Please quit making the new Kirk so dumb like he can't find his way out of a paper Enterprise. He isn't able to figure out a rotating door because he is from "space" and needs a powerful woman to show him? He has been the explorer of countless planets and wonders why it's so "cold" in Canada? He is a hero with an edge, that has found himself in many a bad situation and conquered it by himself (some with crew help) using intellect and perseverance, and pulled his ship and crew out of danger. That is also why women want him not the other way around.......it doesn't matter which timeline. Captain Kirk wasn't promoted to Admiral following others around like a pathetic lap dog he led them out of the situation, his crew gave him ideas and advice but he made the decisions.