takato0524 Reviews

Autumn Road (2021)

I've said it before

[1/10 · 16 April 2023]

And I'll keep saying it. When the director is also the writer and in the film, it usually ends up awful. And this was no exception. I'll give it to the guy playing his own twin. They didn't look a like at all in the movie, whether that was intentional or not. But everything else was awful. Volume, pacing, acting, dialogue, setting, etc etc. Truly was a waste of time even as background noise as I played my switch. Stick to your shorts as this was too long and filled with a lot of filler. Also, why this was categorized as horror/suspense I don't know. No horror. No suspense. The part I liked was when he tried to kill the one boy and ended up being at a surprise party.

Amber Alert (2012)

Thank you!

[1/10 · 14 January 2023]

Major spoiler

They all died at the end! The most annoying girl on the planet! And no, I didn't care about that little girl at all! Your average person isn't going to chase down a car an entire day because they think it's the car grill an Amber alert. The smart thing to do is to call the police, snap a picture, and be on your way. For a while I was on the big guy's side. Saying everything I was thinking. But then he gave in to peer pressure. Pathetic. At least the cops were accurate in being completely useless. Moral of this story was mind your own business. These people should never make another movie again.

Chasing the Devil (2014)

She's the hot chick?

[1/10 · 14 January 2023]

Not the vibe I was picking up. Anyways, here's another film about a group of kids privileged enough to not need to have real jobs and just chase ghosts for a living. This isn't the worst ff film I've seen, but it's up there. Unbelievable acting, dry and annoying characters, situations that could and would never happen. All you can do is ask yourself why.

Your friend gets a word burned into his skin and you don't take him to the hospital? And he's also walking around like he's fine 2 min later?

Your friend tries to gauge his eyes out and instead of grabbing his hands (you're barely 2 feet from him) you just yell no stop don't? And then don't call an ambulance afterwards?

The black guy agrees to go in the dark basement by himself after the death?!

Everything was just awful. And the cringiest thing ever said "she's like a sister. One I fantasize about a lot." Gross.

Where's Rose (2021)

Get him a haircut!

[1/10 · 14 January 2023]

Geeze. Watching him barely be able to see because his hair was in his eyes like a dog bothered me the entire movie.

So it's a terrible movie. Spoiled athletically gifted and of course smart hs jock has everything he wants except the girl next door. So what does he do? What any teenage guy does and forces himself on her while she's babysitting his sister. Now mind you, for a hot shot athlete, this guy is skinny af, yet is able to overpower the girl that's the same size as him and was sober and wasn't caught off guard. Little sister he supposedly adores sees the whole thing and his first thought is to get violent, then leave her for dead? Excuse me?!

The movie was a mess besides the whole plot everyone could see coming. The camera was always close up on the father's face for some reason, the mother was so overbearing it was unrealistic, the friends were 1 dimensional and terrible acting. I can't find one thing positive to say.

Devil in Ohio (2022)

Started ok, but got awful

[4/10 · 21 December 2022]

Started ok. Was intriguing. But then the characters started talking. It didn't make any sense the way everyone except the mother was not sympathetic towards the girl that escaped a cult! Maybe the youngest daughter would act the way she did, but the older two? And the father? Then there's the high school. I never thought I'd say this, but there wasn't enough drama. Everyone was way too accepting of someone "different." And the ones that weren't, like the too gay best friend, made no sense to be so angry just because he wasn't the center of attention. People don't act like this in real life. Another Netflix miss.

Occupation: Rainfall (2020)

You know a movie's bad when

[1/10 · 24 May 2022]

In the first few minutes you want the bad guys to win. Not a single human character was likeable or relatable. Not to me at least. I saw the first movie and gave it a 2, so I knew what I was in store for, but I didn't expect these levels of disgust and annoyance. Our "lead" male was probably the worst, followed closely by the other lead male. How the creator is stretching this out to multiple movies is beyond me. I hope the aliens win in the end.

Dangerous Lies (2020)

Diamonds are forever

[1/10 · 22 May 2022]

And unfortunately this movie felt like it was going on forever as well. I didn't think his performance could get any worse than it was in the terrible independence day sequel, but here we are. Are there no qualifications to become an actor these days? His performance was dry, uninspired, and amateurish. It didn't help the script was paper thin and the directing was a mess.

So many plot holes. Information given that went no where. Adam made every wrong decision possible. And an ending that was made for an infant. I mean really, you're telling me in 4 months the rain never uncovered the diamonds, but a little sprinkler made them surface? All thumbs down for this migraine inducer.

The Voyeurs (2021)

I made it...

[1/10 · 20 May 2022]

13 minutes into the movie. Justice Smith and his mumbled garbled going through puberty voice I just couldn't handle. That and the gf. And I'll never go back to finish it. That is all.

The Swarm (2020)

Not a horror

[1/10 · 20 May 2022]

Not a suspense, not a creature flick. This was a drama. No thrills, no chills, just boring characters that are uninteresting and unlikable. I don't think the actors were interested either. I saw a made for tv movie exactly like this, except the locusts were attacking the town. That was grades better than this.

Candyman (2021)

Candy who?

[2/10 · 16 May 2022]

This is going to be a long one!

5 minutes in, I thought "eh it's gonna be one of these movies." 10 minutes in I thought "of course they had to add an over the top gay character." 12 minutes in I picked up my phone and started playing games, turning this movie into background noise. And that's sad because I was looking forward to this. Having done a little marathon of the first 3 films, I was ready to see a modern take on Candyman. Well, it disappointed across the board.

Originally, I thought it was a remake. Then I thought a reboot, but they kept referencing the original in the movie, so I guess it's a sequel? Which if it is, I guess CM2 and 3 just don't count anymore. Regardless, I personally felt saying he's a spirit of different wronged men cheapened his legend. Get stung by a bee and bam you're the next one. That's cheap and lame. But let's break down all the disappointment.

Main character was not likeable. He wasn't even relatable. And him wearing clothes 3 sizes too small for him kept bothering me. I don't know what else he's been in, but his acting was not convincing. Especially that drunk scene. Why would you be drinking at the art show where you're trying to show off your work? The gf wasn't good or bad. She was basically a prop piece that added nothing to the story. Her brother and his lover...not necessary. I guess they were comic relief? I don't want to laugh during a horror/slasher film. And the story about their father being an artist and killing himself went no where. I don't even know how it was supposed to fit into the CM story. Just like the guy at the laundromat. You saw CM as a child, got him killed basically, and now are trying to recruit new CMs? We don't even know how he became the latest CM. In his flashback, his sister was the one that summoned him and died.

All deaths were done in the dark or off screen, or both. Why is this even rated R if all the good stuff you don't see? It's a slasher film. Why have all the slashing where the audience can't see? And why the random school bathroom deaths? We saw the girl in the beginning of the movie, and she literally was not shown for another 40 minutes until that random scene.

The ending was awful. GF gets kidnapped by laundry guy who is CM at the moment. Main guy is there being transformed into CM. She gets away, winds up in bathroom and CM is there. She kills him, but then the cops show up? Tell her to make up some story or else, so she summons CM and it's now her bf and he kills the cops? No. CM is not a summon that takes care of your problems. He's a vengeance spirit. Why didn't he kill her? Didn't the movie keep harping that he only kills those who summon him? But he just took out a slew of cops? And left her untouched? Truly disappointing. I think Jordan Peel's Get Out was his 1 trick because the rest of these films so far are laughable and forgettable.

I will say, as a positive, I liked the shadow puppets. My guess is they didn't have the budget to use footage from the previous films (like most movies like this do) and could only use the audio of Helen.

Old (2021)

Old and Tired

[1/10 · 16 May 2022]

This movie never picked up. 0 actors were recognizable (to me anyways) and after 20 mins I came to the conclusion that no named actors would want to be associated with this mess. It never picked up. No moment was suspenseful or horror filled. The parents were useless. The doctor useless. The psychologist useless. The nurse was the only person trying. And while the concept was interesting, it was executed extremely poorly. Many times I found myself drifting off, and i was fully rested when I started this movie. The twist wasn't even a twist. The audience knew from the moment they stepped on the island that it was staged to be a study. It would've helped if we knew what was wrong with everyone and then saw how they reacted during the age changes. Just randomly stating a person had this or that, but not saying which person had this or that during the final scenes was just confusing. I don't think M. Knight has his touch anymore, just like Blum.

Halloween Kills (2021)

Mob Mentality at its Finest

[4/10 · 9 May 2022]

I don't know who this movie was for, but it wasn't for a fan of the Halloween franchise. I've enjoyed the series since the beginning. I remember when Halloween Resurrection was coming out in theaters, and myself, one of my brothers, and our friend watched every single Halloween in anticipation. And that movie we all believed was the worst in the franchise...until this one!

Many say Rob Zombie ruined Halloween. I actually thought that was a great movie, showing us Michael as a child and how he became the monster he is today. H20 is probably my favorite after the original I and II. And the reboot from 2019 wasn't too bad, though they seemingly undid the story of her having a son (Josh Hartnett, or was it Justin Long? I forget) and being a head mistress of a private college, and the events of Resurrection. But 2019 wasn't too bad. This however was out of place and awful.

It was nice seeing the actors from the original Halloween reprising their roles all grown up. But that's where my pleasantries have to stop. The black guy's acting (the nurse dressed as a doctor) was god awful. Every scene he was in made me cringe. Tommy Doyle being a mob leader was also cringy. In fact, the entire mob thing was ridiculous. The police had no power. All that was missing was pitch forks and torches.

And let's talk about Michael. Of course he's going to survive a fire because that's what he does. But he takes out an entire first responder team? Which, by the way, that whole scene was DUMB. Then, for no reason goes into another house to kill the old couple? Why? And the putting 6 knives in the guy was ridiculous. The only killings that made sense were in the park, and big/little John (which the name calling was also annoying). Everything else just made me wonder what drugs the directors were on.

Too often I laughed and rolled my eyes. Rating is a 4* Afraid for what Halloween Ends is going to do.

3 Hours Till Dead (2016)

There's bad

[1/10 · 8 May 2022]

And then there's this. My god. I can't even say one positive thing about this one. For starters, the lead was the worst actor in the movie. He couldn't act, wasn't convincing, and frankly I don't think English is his first language cuz he talked like he had cotton in his mouth. How does one person manage to get almost everyone killed? Ask him because he did it. Decisions made by other characters also were on the would never happen scale. And the camera! My god was this filmed on a cell phone? The camera could not stay still for anything. There was so much wrong with this film I could write a 5 page essay. What I'll do instead is say save yourself the time. If you want to laugh, maybe this is for you, but it wasn't supposed to be a comedy.

The Deep House (2021)

What did I watch?

[1/10 · 30 April 2022]

I couldn't tell you because I couldn't see! The movie takes place in a lake but you'd think you were in the middle of the ocean with how dark and deep they dove. Everything that was in the house being preserved went against the laws of nature and water damage. They attempted jump scares but guess what: when you can't see the thing that tried to scare you, you can't be scared! A sudden burst of loud music isn't going to do it. All thumbs down on this mess they called a movie.

Agnes (2021)

What was this

[1/10 · 24 April 2022]

The description on Hulu said drama/horror, so I went in prepared to be bored from the drama. What I didn't expect was the attempts at the Scary Movie style comedy. I believe when they did the scene with the nuns posing on the stairs, I said ok it's that kind of movie.

I couldn't tell you one redeemable quality to this film. What started off as a horror ish thing ended as...I'm not even sure. I think the girl who isn't Agnes is possessed. I didn't even realize there was a time lapse between when she left the covenant and when she started at the grocery store. It was like they glued two films together. The last scene when she's talking to the younger priest, I couldn't follow the conversation, and then the credits rolled! No resolution. No exorcism for her. Nothing.

The Last Rite (2021)

Not about sleep paralysis

[1/10 · 24 April 2022]

The description on Hulu says this woman is suffering from sleep paralysis. That's mentioned maybe twice, then it turns into a possession film. Possession done poorly btw. The worst acting was the bf. Every time he opened his mouth I wanted to mute the tv. The gf wasn't any better. Once possessed her limited acting ability was shown. And the pacing is super slow. There's slow burn, and then there's this: the fire is still a thought in someone's head. The director is also the writer so right there I knew it was going to be terrible. And I was right.

The Gift (VI) (2015)

Enjoyable

[6/10 · 19 April 2022]

For the most part. Good acting. Good pacing. Don't see Jason in many serious roles, so this was a good change.

But the ending was a little lame. It's not really a mind game when he can literally just have a dna test right there at the hospital. Hell, most hospitals will offer one for newborns. And let's be honest: what woman wouldn't know if she'd been sexed with in her sleep? This was a decent ride with an unsatisfying ending.

#FollowFriday (2016 TV Movie)

They weren't kidding

[1/10 · 19 April 2022]

This was terrible. I've seen better acting from a preschool. I don't mind things being low budget when everyone is trying their best, but no one was trying at all. The story was all over the place. The characters terrible cliches. The voiceovers too much and jumbled. Let's not even talk about how her brother didn't look remotely like her or the mother. And her crush...well hopefully he grows into his face. The ending was a huge miss and made 0 sense. What exactly was the objective of this movie? Someone let me know!

The Rental (2020)

Had potential

[2/10 · 17 April 2022]

I didn't mind how slow the pacing was. The unnecessary exterior shots that went nowhere for the story. But when I watch a movie like this, I like to see the killer and understand the motive. What we got was a guy who killed everyone, and for what? The end scene shows him buying a property and setting up the cameras, but why? Did he kill everyone that rented the place, or just our main character party? And why was he doing it? Such a shame.

Choose or Die (2022)

Cheap and boring

[1/10 · 17 April 2022]

Not much to say here. The acting was subpar, the settings were dull, and the story was forgettable. The location was supposed to be NY but looked nothing like it. I swear the boy had autism. The story with the mother didn't go anywhere. Then there's the music. Ruined any tension they were trying to build. Didn't fit mostly. This should be labeled as a comedy.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Not for me

[1/10 · 12 April 2022]

Well, this was not the movie for me. I love the franchise; the original and the 2003 and 2006 entries my favorite (especially 2003), but this one? No. I knew from the beginning when I saw that kinky haired girl that I was not in for a good time. I believe the summary said influencers, and I thought "oh god millennial crap movie." And I was not wrong. I know it's not exactly gentrification, as barely anyone lived there, but it was close enough. Young people dressed like hipsters going to a poor town so they can buy it up with their parents money and make it overpriced bs no one asked for. I'm 25 minutes in and I don't like a single character outside of maybe the contractor. I'll watch the rest but it'll be on in the background.

And I was right. Total trash. Terrible deaths. Why are movies today like this?

The Empty Man (2020)

An empty film

[2/10 · 12 December 2021]

This movie started off nice with the whole mountains and supernatural and murders. 15 minutes later it turned into a boring adventure of a broke down drug using looking white guy that can only play one tone. Not that the cast around him was any better, but his performance almost drove me to sleep. Nice use of ominous music, settings, atmosphere, etc. But everything else just missed the mark for me. I love a good mystery, but it took so long for the film to connect the dots between stories I lost interest. I did watch to the end and feel like 45 minutes could've been deleted.

Demon House (2019)

Is this guy for real?

[1/10 · 24 November 2021]

I have no idea who this zak guy is. But based off appearance, and his always having sunglasses on, I never want to know who he is. What a crook. Exploiting these black folks. Talking about demons but never seeing one. He and his crew being completely unlikable.

The Possession of Michael King (2014)

Someone call CPS

[1/10 · 22 November 2021]

A single father decides to spend his time trying to disprove the supernatural exists. While he's doing this he has his sister watching his daughter. The mother died due to an accident in the very beginning of the film. While on this journey he suscepts himself to various drugs and rituals, all harmful to him. Not once does he think about what will happen to his kid if he dies too. Take his child away!

Nothing in this film is likable. The main actor is not very good, the camera work is awful even for found footage, the volume. Everything that eventually happens to him he deserved.

The Return (III) (2020)

I tried

[1/10 · 21 November 2021]

But I couldn't make it past 30 minutes. It wasn't just having to look at his horrible sleep deprived face, or listening to the annoying girl be over the top, but the story just wasn't latching me. When they got to the dr's office, and she said she should call the cops for him breaking in, but at the same time was closing the door behind her, I said that's it I'm out!