Dandy_Desmond Reviews

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Immersive

[9/10 · 16 August 2019]

A snap shot of a couple of people involved in Hollywood in 1969. One actor is Sharon Tate (Robbie), she lives with the hottest director in town and her career is sparking.

Next door is an actor by the name of Rick Dalton (DiCaprio). He used to be a lead on TV, but his career is heading downhill and he is beginning to feel it. His stunt double is also his best friend (Pitt), who has been pretty much blacklisted in Hollywood due to rumours about his personal life.

The first hour 45 or so you are immersed in this world and follow the characters in their daily lives. The film takes a dark turn as Pitts character picks up a hitch hiker who happens to be one of the Manson Family and things escalate from there.

As the title suggests, this is a fairytale, set in a particular time in Hollywood and the events of the movie enhance this. Real people intermix with fictional characters and it is all very interesting even after viewing to put together what was real and what was not.

There has been criticism of the lack of lines for Margot Robbie from some female critics. They seem to feel Tarantino should have shoe horned in more lines to 'improve' his film and to fit their agenda. I'm tired of this rubbish.. thankfully Tarantino does not need to be bullied and stoop to pandering to these idiots and will make the film he wants to make.

Sharon Tate is presented on screen as he envisioned. As a happy young woman, whose career is going the right way. In a stand out scene, she joins an audience in a cinema to watch one of her own films. This part (without lines, just her reaction) is one of the highlights of the film. What I also like about this sequence is that the real Sharon Tate is also on screen, acting in comedic moments and some kick ass moments showing the world she was more than just a victim of the Manson Family.

Another stand out scene for me was DiCaprio after a long sequence filming a part in a TV Western series, then blows his lines. Its so awkward and is followed by a total meltdown in his trailer. He then goes back and nails the performance. A little girl tells him its the best acting she has ever seen, which makes him very emotional.

When the Manson Family show up at Cielo Drive, your heart begins to sink a little, knowing what is to come.

However, this is a fairy tale set in Hollywood and perhaps there is still appetite in this cynical world for a Hollywood ending.

Get Out (I) (2017)

Overrated

[4/10 · 18 March 2019]

Recently saw this on Netflix, remembered there was a lot of positivity, that it was 'genuinely unsettling' so was excited to see what it would have in store.

In my opinion, it was overrated. Massively.

First of all the good things, the lead actors are very good and the director manages to create a few unsettling moments and an atmosphere is definitely there. It reminded me a bit of Society in terms of tone, which is the better film I think.

However, this tense atmosphere is abruptly interrupted whenever the 'comic' best friend makes an appearance. Took me right out of the picture. He did make me laugh in the beginning, but I was getting annoyed with him by the end.

Also once I found out what was actually happening, I was disappointed and the ending is generic survivor kills all the evil people and escapes routine.

Again, I found it to be ok. Not particularly memorable or deserving of this praise and certainly not oscar material! What a laff, I thought The Witch would have been more fitting oscar material if I had to pick a 'horror' film.

Boys in the Trees (2016)

Donnie Darko via A Christmas Carol

[8/10 · 8 October 2018]

I watched this on Netflix expecting a horror film.

I was very pleased, its not a horror but it does have what a lot of modern horror films seem to miss - a dark mood and lots of atmosphere.

Set on Halloween night, its the story of two former childhood best friends, one who has 'grown up' and ended up friends with the gang who bully the other one. Circumstances arise that throw the two former best friends together as they walk home through the woods. Stories are told, fears are tested and the two share a surreal journey into the darkness.

Its very stylish, with great use of music and some odd ball moments. Its like a cross between Donnie Darko and A Christmas Carol.

I would recommend this if you like something a little stranger, films that dare to throw in moments that at first confuse, until you sit and figure it out when its all over.

There are several stand out scenes - kids riding bikes with clown masks on as fireworks light the streets in slow motion, climbing trees full of lights, wolves prowling the school halls and especially the day of the dead celebration scene

My only drawback is its a little long, but overall I really liked it and look forward to more work from this talented director.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

Where are all the heroes now?

[1/10 · 28 December 2017]

First of all I came out of the screening having watched a sometimes funny and entertaining sci fi film. This is not enough for a Star Wars film.

I did like all the new characters in The Force Awakens (apart from Hux - the performance and character is an utter embarrassment), but I've always felt there was no more story to tell with the old cast after Return of the Jedi and I'm still yet to be convinced.

Again Rey has had NO training and she is able to do amazing things.. because well it doesn't need explaining. She's just Rey. Its BAD lazy writing. If Rian Johnson wanted Leia to show her force power, why not have her lift all the rocks at the end? And save her floating through space in a very amusing fashion.

There is also no pacing, no crescendos and nothing to look forward to in the next part. So whats the point? The juvenile will they/won't they between Rey and Kylo, lifted from this years episode of Love Island? Is this what its come to?

Star Wars was filled with wonder. It was about heroes. Star Wars success and main pull was to take us away for a couple of hours to a galaxy far far away with evil empires, the princess, the farm boy, the scoundrel come good to fight the good fight. All wrapped up with great music and thrilling special effects.

This film has an agenda and it doesn't impress me. It simply wants to overthrow the old and replace it with a new hip cast and cynical edge. Its sad in this Game of Thrones day and age that we feel we need to put down and kill all our heroes. If it be to usher in the new or for pure shock value.

**Update: My brother bought the blu ray and insisted I give it another go. I'm afraid its worse second time around. Too many times I cringed at the comedy, the floating Leia, how Rey still has yet to have any kind of character arc, why Luke was such a negative character. I could go on and on.

I won't be bothering with the last instalment. As I mentioned above, Jedi ends the story, there is nothing more to see here. Even less so now.

The Void (I) (2016)

Very well put together

[8/10 · 15 May 2017]

THE VOID is a film I greatly enjoyed.

A group of people are trapped in a hospital, while cult members in white robes wait outside as something evil is about to be unleashed. The story is a bit hard to follow as in terms of what outcome the mad doctor is aiming for, but for a little slice of icky horror, it hits the spot. It is not enough however to preach about practical effects and a cool set up, thankfully the directing is also top notch. The practical effects are fantastic, enhance the film and It has atmosphere as well as gruesome effects and weird monsters.

In terms of design and style, it is very much The Thing meets Assault on Precinct 13 meets Hellraiser meets The Beyond.

It wears its influences like a badge of honour and is not ashamed of it. Sometimes showing your influences too much can hinder and make it a pale imitation (see LIFE which is basically ALIEN) but this entry is strong enough to hold its own.

I really enjoyed all the performances, especially Kenneth Welch who manages a measured and sinister turn.

At long last I am a satisfied horror customer. I was looking forward to seeing this one for a while and it didn't disappoint.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

Instant Classic

[10/10 · 17 April 2017]

Rogue One is comfortably the best Star Wars movie since Return of the Jedi.

So I'll tell you where I'm at. I love the original films - I grew up with them as a child of the 80s. I think the prequels are rubbish, I don't really watch cartoons and the Force Awakens left me cold. Personally I thought Star Wars was done.

But at least I had the original films. Untouchable.

So I thought...

I walked out of the cinema totally satisfied I had seen an instant classic. It is bold, exciting, funny, tragic and most of all entertaining.

I won't go into the story, as most people know that its how the rebels stole the plans to the Death Star, which was destroyed in Star Wars (1977)

Rogue One manages in its 2 hours 10 mins run time to bring together a motley crew of characters, give them each sufficient screen time for you to care about them before putting them on a suicide mission. Its a true ensemble piece, and almost feels like The Magnificent Seven, The Dirty Dozen or the Wild Bunch in space. As the film was playing I felt it was good, then towards the end I thought wow they are actually going to do it. They are actually all going to die and the last 40 minutes are incredible.

As I was reeling from this, the director Gareth Edwards then produces the real moment of the film. The jewel in the crown. Darth Vader after taking a back seat for most of the film, after many security failures by Krennic (a fantastic little worm of a character played by the terrific Ben Mendelsohn) takes matters into his own hands in brutal fashion.

Following this scene, the film ends with Princess Leia, as Star Wars begins.

The film has many strengths. Gareth Edwards being the key. He hasn't just made a lazy remake of the original. This film stands alone, yet fits totally alongside the first three in style, execution and with panache.

I just want to touch on the humour as well. It has moments of humour that does not resort to slap stick as seen in the horrific prequels, where CGI creatures fart or C3P0's head ends up on another droids body (really? yep it really happened)

Yes, finally a film that cares for its characters more than the CGI. Yes, this is the film that gave Darth Vader his balls back. Yes, this is the film that dared kill off the whole cast. Yes, the Star Wars film that highlights how bad the prequels and The Force Awakens is. Yes, I loved it.

Can you tell?

Monsters (2010)

Melancholy and different

[9/10 · 7 January 2017]

Yes I give it a 9.

I think Monsters is a wonderful, melancholy film. I do agree the title is misleading and can generate some hate as people will feel duped and expect an action film of sorts.

I would describe this as a 'feel piece' - my girlfriend finished watching it, then looked at me in puzzlement commenting nothing happened in it.

She's right too. Its not a story that goes from A to B as such, its not just about Monsters wrecking stuff or two strangers thrown together into a dangerous situation and falling in love.

It creates a world and you are part of that world for an hour and a half. It creates a mood, an atmosphere. A strong element of this is down to the music, which is excellent throughout.

The actors do a fine job of creating their characters and their chemistry feels genuine. I understand they are a real life couple but that doesn't always come across.

I would have said that some of the success of the film was down to luck as it was shot on the fly. However there is no mistaking the genius of the ending.

The two main characters are in an abandoned Gas Station, there is a storm coming and you catch a glimpse of a monster approaching. This will be as a viewer the first time a monster is seen clearly and the music as ominous, something bad is going to happen.

Slowly the mood changes, the music evolves into that of wonder as another monster approaches and it looks like they mate or something (thankfully nothing weird) and the two main characters watch in awe at these beautiful creatures as they do their 'thang' and then move along in peace.

There is then a silence as the two characters take in what they just saw. Its brilliant and turns the film on its head completely.

I understand why people may hate this, but for some like myself, its a really great experience.

St. Elmo's Fire (1985)

Strangely Watchable

[7/10 · 7 January 2017]

Just like Rob Lowes speech at the end to try and sum up the movie- about St Elmos Fire not really being there and nothing really matters etc - I don't think my review will make sense...

However I find St Elmos Fire very watchable. I have nothing in common with any of the characters, but isn't a movie a kind of escapism? I'm English and this is a time and place in America that I like to think existed, but know really didn't.

So now and again I whack it in the DVD player and transport myself to a time you could run off to New York with just your sax and a head full of dreams while your gaggle of quirky friends cry and wave you goodbye... ah the 80s. Such a film would not be made now.

If I could however I would find a way to cut Emilio Estevez out of the film. Like completely. The character creeps me out and don't understand the point of him or his ridiculous celebration following his awful pouncing on poor Andie McDowell.

Other than that the other characters and their various intertwining stories are interesting enough and are made better by the brat pack themselves.

I really can't explain why but I hated this film back in the day... maybe I realise that sometimes you need that earnest type of film only the 80s can deliver. And St Elmos does that.

See? Total nonsense.

Beyond the Gates (2016)

P*ss Poor

[1/10 · 22 December 2016]

There's a trend doing the rounds. It seems the 80s are back.

Not a bad thing in the right hands. For example The Guest was a very good attempt at a modern film with a retro twist. I also enjoyed Stranger Things and It Follows.

Unfortunately you then get the attempts that don't pull it off. Beyond the Gates falls into this category.

You can't stick a synth soundtrack, a story involving a VHS tape and a vaguely retro intro into a film and assume it gives it style. Some retro junkies will eat it up. I didn't.

I would describe it as a slow burner of a horror film. I like to get to know the characters, get into the story and wait for the punch. Unfortunately the characters in Beyond the Gates are boring, nothing really happens for a long time and the characters and story are not interesting enough to keep your attention.

Someone mentioned this was like a Fulci film. The mind boggles. It really isn't, its style reminded me more of Napoleon Dynamite with a dash of gore thrown in here and there to perhaps wake the audience up.

I love Barbara Crampton too, but not blindly enough to recommend this film.

31 (2016)

Zombie can do better than this..

[2/10 · 11 November 2016]

I'm fascinated by Rob Zombie's films and also frustrated. I do believe there is a good director there somewhere capable of making a classic film.

He has come close a couple of times. Sadly 31 is a backwards step in his body of work so far.

His films have their own style. Very rarely nowadays do horror films have a stamp of their director on them like Zombies films.

He doesn't do teen horror. His films genuinely feel like 70s horrors. He loves trashy characters doing ugly things. He loves bizarre imagery. Following experimentation with the Halloween films, he made Lords of Salem which I believe along with Devils Rejects is his finest work. I enjoyed this change of tone and felt he was maturing as a director to make genuinely unsettling horror films.

I was looking forward to 31 even though the premise was basic. And basic it turned out to be.

The plot can be explained in one sentence. Some people get kidnapped, are put into a game where they are attacked by a variety of people in costumes with various weapons and have to survive. Thats it.

It almost felt like a Rob Zombie fan attempting to make a Rob Zombie film. Filtered. I felt like I had seen it all before but slightly worse than his other films.

I am sticking with his films as I think he has something to offer but this was a mis-step.

Blair Witch (2016)

The Cheap Scare Project

[1/10 · 1 November 2016]

Found footage films are more often than not boring and irritating.

Some are good and try and give the audience something different. Sadly Blair Witch doesn't even attempt to offer anything new. At all.

All this movie offers is lots of shots of trees by flashlight and one of my particular irritations - the cheap jump scare. This is the jump scare that has no pay off, such as one character turning round and there is another character that appears out of nowhere and BOOM! - leading to the first character saying 'don't do that!'

Garbage.

If your idea of fun is watching a group of boring people running around in the dark for over an hour, screaming then this is the movie for you.

How I laughed at the skinny naked woman briefly seen now and then. Its like a computer game monster.

The Blair Witch seemingly has the ability to bend time at her will. Seemed to work on me too, I thought this turkey would never end.

Night Fangs (2005)

Zero Budget Entertainment

[6/10 · 5 March 2016]

I read somewhere on IMDb that one of the major faults of this film is that 'Vampires don't behave like that..' I had to laugh.

Know many Vampires do you?

Anyway the film. Its clearly zero budget, the picture and sound quality is not the greatest but I must admit I did enjoy it in the end.

Two lesbians are trying to follow a legend around bathing in a virgins blood so they can become immortal and what happens is that everything goes apesh*t and the victim becomes a Vampire who turns the two killers into Vamps too.

The victims boyfriend and his friends try to help by getting the local professor (who is also the Director) involved - but end up get stalked by the Vamps.

The movie starts slowly and because of the budget as well almost made me switch off, however I am glad I stuck with it. There are many scenes that do work, the Vampires are quite cool at times and you can see influences from classic horror such as Salems Lot. The teens are quite natural and there is some funny scenes between them and also the professor is quite funny. I must point out the final scene - I liked it very much and ended the film on a high note.

I would take films like this, made with love and passion despite no budget over expensive, dull, pointless remakes any day of the week.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Absolutely average

[5/10 · 29 December 2015]

The Force Awakens started out as 'a new hope' for the Star Wars franchise.

The holy trilogy is what it is - movie watching at its grandest. Then came the prequels and in my case, they were all poor and get worse with each passing year whenever I stumble across them on TV.

The trailers were outstanding for this film, practical effects, locations and sets - it FELT like Star Wars again and of course the famous 'Chewy, we're home' made me very excited.

I'll start with some good things - I liked all the new characters and the acting was superior to the prequels. You know what I even liked Kylo Ren who I understand people have a lot of hate for - i think there's more to come from him.

Unfortunately thats where it goes downhill. The reality is that this is not in the same league as the original films, but disappointingly for the same reason most modern action films suffer. Character/story development are replaced with more and more action set pieces.

For example there was one strange scene where Han, Chewy, Rey and Fin are in a ship running away from these large squid like monsters, a Scottish bloke and the blokes from The Raid (took me out of the film) and it seemed to go on forever.

For me it was an unnecessary 10 minutes that could have been dropped for some more explanation as to what the hell had gone on between Return of the Jedi and now.

A few things that really bothered me:

1. Rey - loved the character and Daisy Ridley did a great job. The characters development from scavenger to Jedi happens too quickly though.

2. Han Solo - Came across as a little pathetic. Still a smuggler at his age? When I first heard Harrison Ford was back I immediately thought he would be killed off. However I thought he would go out with a bang, not a whimper. I love Harrison Fords early work, but he clearly has no love for Star Wars and probably couldn't care less how Solo went out. I understand he is bringing back Indiana Jones again - so if he wants to depress us some more by showing how a previous heroic character ends up a bit pathetic why not call it Indiana Jones and the Lonely Heart attack in the Care Home?

3. Starkiller Base - looked like a butt hole. The empire has been done before. And better.

4. The x-wing/tie fighter action was quite dull

5. Music - John Williams is a legend, however there were no moments I got goosebumps through his music like I have done before. He set the bar pretty high with previous movies to be honest!

All in all I find myself strangely shrugging my shoulders about it. It was OK, nothing special - I feel like I have seen it all before and if I am being honest I never believed there was any story to tell after Jedi and this film hasn't really changed my mind.

The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)

The Film in Black

[3/10 · 26 July 2015]

Firstly I did like The Woman in Black and the premise of this sequel seemed interesting to me. Never one to be put off by negative reviews I gave it a chance.

However, sadly, it is rubbish. Its slow, its boring and not scary.

In fact I can't recall any creepy scenes in it whatsoever. Was the Woman in Black even in it? Maybe once or twice. Its also really dark, I couldn't make out certain things. Maybe I should have taken off my shades.

So basically a group of Orphans are re located away from the bombing in London to the big scary house in the boggy wilderness. The film meanders at a snails pace as the leading lady and her dashing beau slowly piece together the story of the Woman in Black.

You know, the story we already know from the first film.

I don't really know what they were trying to do with this film. Perhaps kill the franchise? If so, then well done.

Now where did I put my Twilight box set.....

Carrie (1976)

A Modern Tragedy

[10/10 · 25 August 2013]

I watched Carrie again for the first time in years, having seen the trailer for the remake with Chloe thingybob from the god awful Kick Ass.

Its a tragic tale about a shy girl called Carrie White who seems to get abuse and bullying by almost everyone she meets, her mother, classmates even annoying kids on bikes. Her mother is a religious nut case, therefore she has had no knowledge or understanding of the world and is left open to bullying from other kids due to the fact she is different.

What no one knows is how different Carrie really is.

She is already realising she can move things with her mind at the start of the movie, therefore its not dragged down with learning to use her 'powers' etc and instead concentrates on the story. For the story is not only about her ability, its an all too human tale of someone looking for acceptance, to be loved and its this that makes it so memorable.

Its a very cruel movie for several reasons. First of all the bullying is quite nasty and humiliating, secondly then with help of one of the few sympathetic class mates Carrie gets her dream date for the prom (after initial scepticism) and during the prom she is genuinely happy for once in her life and these scenes are very touching.

As a viewer we know its not going to end there however, we know the fall will come and DePalma expertly creates the ominous atmosphere before the bucket of blood comes crashing down all over her.

What comes next is a split screen massacre as Carrie wipes out almost the entire Prom Night goers in a rage fuelled inferno.

Carrie is a film that has that magic mix. DePalma's sure direction is excellent (even the quirky touches such as the fast forward work for me) Sissy Spacek, words are not enough to explain her shattering performance. It really is something. I've always been a fan of Pino Donnaggio and his work here is one, if not the best soundtrack he has ever done.

Highly recommended.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

The Amazing Money Spinner

[5/10 · 2 December 2012]

I felt nothing when this film finished, not even entertained, thats its problem. Its soul less, filled with average special effects, empty characters and a thin plot.

Someone mentioned twilight, I understand that - maybe I am a little old for what appears to be more a teen film than say The Dark Knight trilogy, Watchmen or hell even Captain America.

Andrew Garfield is the loner, sulky guy who mumbles a lot but doesn't have to try very hard for Emma Stone to like him. Add to that the complete lack of chemistry between them (on screen) that for some reason has them standing round in corridors mumbling to each other for what seemed like forever.

I love superhero films, but I am getting a little bored with the CGI crap fests which I thought Batman had ridden us of. This unfortunately is one of them. Sam Raimi's films suffered the same however at least had likable characters. I didn't get the point of the police chief, Uncle Ben was confusing, the build up to Spider man first appearing was under cooked and the finale was poor (and shown in the trailer)

Then we have the Lizard. Another bad CGI cartoon jumping around smashing things. To be honest during the 'fight' scenes I was bored with the shoddy special effects that don't really look any better than the previous films.

Finally my biggest complaint. Lets not get confused about why this film was made. To make more money. If it was a great film, that would be forgiven but its not.

Spookies (1986)

Still better than Michael Bay's remakes

[6/10 · 28 October 2012]

So this film was a low budget project that was shelved and patched up by someone else with additional footage. The acting is standard, the effects are old school but you know what it has atmosphere and its weird as hell.

So I like it, even more than all those crappy Michael Bay remakes, even better than the Paranormal Activities and the Paranormal Entities and the Devil Insides etc.

The story is sparse to say the least, also it doesn't make much sense. Think Phantasm or City of the Living Dead and you get the idea.

A kid is alone in the woods, its his birthday and his parents forgot so he has run away from home. He talks to a weirdo who hangs around in trees, once the boy goes the man is murdered by what appears to be some sort of blue cat man in a strange dinner suit, who proceeds to follow the boy. The basic plot revolves around an old man who lives in an old house in the woods, trying to revive his dead wife with people souls, only to find when she wakes up, she doesn't want him. What a bitch! ha

So then we meet a motley crew of people looking to party pull up outside an old house, why these people decided to hang out together I have no idea, they are so random.

So the boy finds the house and finds a room set out as a party for him for his birthday, he is delighted but finds a head in the cake box and runs off to the woods, only for the blue cat thing to catch him and bury him alive... weird and a little disturbing.

So we are left with these party goers who don't really have a party. What follows is a series of set pieces that are weird, funny and not at all predictable. There's the mud men in the basement, a disgusting mutant that fires electric currents, the witch in the caverns, the little vampire kid and most memorable, the spider lady.

So if you like some old school 80s weirdness I would recommend.

The Fog (1980)

Atmospheric Classic

[10/10 · 3 February 2012]

From the opening ghost story about the men 'at the bottom of the sea' who were betrayed and led to their deaths by their own township for being lepers The Fog gets under the skin.

First thumbs up goes to the location scout - the scenery in this film is like a character itself, the old lighthouse, the dimly lit town with the fog horn going off in the distance.

Adrienne Barbeau is Stevie Wayne, the DJ alone in the lighthouse overlooking the sea. She is simply great in this film and usually in every other film I have seen her in.

Carpenters directing sets a tone, an unsettling tone throughout the film and crescendos are reached at the correct times. The three men on the boat being the first real scare. Where most modern horrors would have them looking round the boat in the fog for 10 minutes trying to 'build' tension, Carpenter cranks it up with some sly shots of what looks like an old clipper ship and some people stood in the fog with meat hooks - and then dispatches them inside 5 minutes.

Another thing about these old films is each had a recognisable soundtrack. Not mood music - themes what was the last horror film that had a genuine theme? I can't think of one Nightmare on Elm Street maybe? Carpenters music is sublime and is used at precisely the right moments.

Right up until the final shock when Blake lops off the preachers head for me The Fog is perfection in a horror film, pace is right, music is great, acting is good and like I say the crescendos are executed well.

For me its sheer perfection and deserves to be more recognised than it is.

10/10 from this idiot.

Casablanca (1942)

Brave ending makes this a classic

[9/10 · 27 November 2011]

The Classics Tour: Part 1 "Casablanca"

I thought I was a movie geek but then realised I had not seen hardly anything pre 1960 - I'm about to change that. First stop Casablanca.

What first struck me about Casablanca was the script, sharp and witty at times and include more classic lines that you could erm... well lots of classic lines.

Yes many lines from this film have been said time and time again and are part of our culture now. The final lines Bogie utters to the lovely Ingrid Bergman before she leaves I had heard before and I hadn't seen the film!

Next Humphrey Bogart. He's a really cool guy and his performance in this movie is pitch perfect I aim to watch some more of this mans movies.

Casablanca surprised me I must admit. The ending is brave indeed and contributes to its legendary status of that I have no doubt. Any ending where the lead doesn't get the girl, where the love rival is as brave if not braver just adds layers to an already great story with such a crackling script.

Its hard to recommend this film as many sadly would not get over its age. To be fair it has taken me a while to get round to appreciating old films but there is a whole gold mine out there and I can't wait to get stuck in.

I am delighted to admit for me personally Casablanca lived up to its reputation.

Superman (1978)

Still the best

[5 November 2011]

Ahhh Superman. Like a comfortable pair of slippers, a cup of tea at the end of a hard day, a warm bath or a cosy blanket. Its just that for me, this is one of the 'special' films I hold dear from my childhood. As an adult with a critical eye sure it has faults, but I just keep coming back to it and remain totally in love.

Christopher Reeve is perfect as the bumbling shy Clark Kent and the sensitive, caring, heroic Superman. Margot Kidder, not a classic beauty, but sexy in a different way, brings a quirky edge to Lois Lane, who lets face it could easily have been played by a 70s babe of the day.

At the top we have Richard Donner, hard to think this guy only a couple of years previous brought the world The Omen. He makes Superman more than a blockbuster with set pieces. He gives the film an epic sweeping feel from the 2001 Kubrick style opening on Krypton, to the John Ford inspired Smallville and ending in the almost comic book style Metropolis with Lex Luthor and his stooges, the very sexy Valerie Perrine and comic sidekick Ned Beatty.

Donner takes a chance with the slow build, Superman does not appear in costume until 50 minutes (special edition) into the film. Yet as a child I was never waiting for Superman to appear as the early scenes are so smoothly done its hardly noticed.

Only things I could gripe about are the flying scene with Superman and Lois 'can you read my mind?' a little cheesy and the turning back time ending.

But perfect casting, confident directing - and I must mention Stuart Baird with the editing its really something, finally the music. John Williams has made some stonking soundtracks in his days and this is among the finest. Its soaring, uplifting and when I hear it and I see the film I am a child again. I can't wait for my child to be old enough to discover it too.

Heat (1995)

Just Great

[23 October 2011]

Trying not to be over the top I watched Heat last night for the first time in a while and when it finished with Al Pacino taking De Niro's dying hand and looking out into the shimmering airfield I was filling up.. the touching and euphoric music swells as Pacino's sad expression gazes out into the night...weird eh? A supposed crime tale of a crook and a cop both sublime in their daily jobs at the expense of family life should not make me feel all emotional at its climax. Heat though manages, in its sprawling run time, to bed in the characters and if you have the patience (as it is quite talky and has a lot of characters) you will be rewarded with a monumental shoot out on the streets of LA and a tense finale which like I said left me at least feeling melancholy.

I won't go into details about the story as it has a few plot lines that all come together but I must mention the style and the photography of the film. Some of the scenery and the locations are just stunning and beautiful and really set to mood and the focus on the loneliness of the De Niro and Pacino characters.

How can I do an opinion of this film without mentioning its star names? Al Pacino : Godfathers, Scarface, Serpico, Carlitos Way, Gigli (only kidding) and De Niro : Deer Hunter, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas ... the list could be much longer. Putting these two together in a film for the first time could have been a lazy poster line for a lazy film but Michael Mann provides an equally interesting and visually stunning story to equal their talents and the result is a feast for fans of their movies.

Its a really absorbing story with great actors, a great director and big thumbs up to everyone involved. I highly recommend it.

The Beyond (1981)

Baffling, gory and memorable

[27 August 2011]

Billed as Lucio Fulci's best film I approached this with a lot of expectation having recently watched and highly enjoyed Zombi and City of the Living Dead.

However, about halfway through this film I was disappointed, I found it slow, plodding and some scenes unnecessary, an example being the little ginger girl and her mother getting killed which didn't seem to have any relevance to the film at all. As usual with a Fulci film the plot is a merely loose and strung together to allow him to scare the hell out of you or sicken you to your stomach.

So what I am trying to say is I thought I was not enjoying it - that is until it finished. Since then bits and pieces have been returning to my thoughts. It has stayed with me and I know why.

What saves The Beyond from being a trashy gore flick is the ending. The final few minutes in which our heroes played well by Catriona Maccoll and the late David Warbeck try to escape the living dead, running for their lives in a hospital, they end up going down some stairs that leads them somehow to the hotel where the horror started, like a nightmare you can;t escape from. They step further and realise they are now in The Beyond, a beautiful sad melody plays as the moans of the undead in the wasteland get louder. A vast sea of nothing where souls are trapped in an everlasting hell of emptiness.

Its a terribly depressing ending but rounds off a wholly bizarre and baffling film to its logical conclusion.

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

No fun at all

[19 August 2011]

When this film started I was impressed. Rutger as the Hobo sits on a train going through the American countryside with a cool retro song in the background. He jumps the train and arrives at a town smoking from a distance, welcome to Hell. This is going to be cool I thought.

I was totally wrong I'm afraid. The scenes after are supposed to be shocking I guess. A bumfight being filmed, then a gangsters brother gets decapitated in the middle of a shocked crowd, the villains of the piece are cardboard cut outs really. Shouting and mangling their faces and spitting out dreary dialogue. These scenes may have been shocking in the right hands. Unfortunately the director is not up to handling a movie with this title. Throwing lots of blood and guts around in front of a camera does not make you a director. Building tension, making characters worth caring about, creating entertainment or even snappy funny dialogue can help, but HWAS has none of these qualities.

I love a bit of bad taste and blood and guts but I felt this was bad taste for the sake of it, bad taste with no class to go with it and in the end the effect comes across really dull. Lighting effects switch to extreme reds or greens (Natural Born Killers style) or the camera tilts heavily to the side, or is set at a really low angle to accentuate I suppose the throwback nature of the film but only serves to highlight the amateurish decisions by the director.

A film with a really cool title should have been a funny, out there, gory (at the right moments) and trashy fun film. I had no fun watching this.

The Warriors (1979)

Entertaining, stylish, energetic and not without soul

[17 August 2011]

Its seems the trend now days with indie directors and some mainstream to imitate movies of this kind. Movies with stylish direction, big performances and killer lines that are endlessly quotable.

I feel some reviews that are negative towards it misunderstand it completely. I've read that its 'silly' and the acting is amateurish. First of all of course it is silly, just look at the outfits of some of the gangs, plain ridiculous but Walter Hill and the makers know that this is not supposed to be reality, its a video game or comic book movie and in the end a damn fine entertaining one at that.

I don't see any problem with the acting to be fair and I must say Deborah Van Valkenberg steals your heart by the end. Her character Mercy starts off a trashy, mouthy and easy piece of ass that ditches her current gang the Orphans cos maybe she is looking for some 'real action' so tags onto the Warriors. However as the movie develops, she shows a vulnerable side that she is going nowhere - stuck in a rut, looking for a way out or a better life.

The scene when the two young couples get on the subway with their posh clothes and bright smiles and laughter, until they notice Mercy and Swan sat with cuts and bruises, the camera pans to Mercy's dirty feet - she goes to straighten her hair and Swan stops her showing his growing caring for her. Its just brilliant, further emphasising that this is more than just a cult fighting film.

None more than the final few reels and the song which includes the lyrics 'somewhere out on that horizon, out beyond the neon lights, I know there must be something better'... etc does the film develop its soul and I believe what makes it genuinely great.

For me it has action, good characters, a great soundtrack and an ending that makes me want to weep as the few that survive the night walk along the shoreline.

Would you join me for a weep? give it a watch!

Howling II: ... Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)

Bad acting, no script, blokes in monkey suits and Sybil's t*ts

[5/10 · 21 May 2011]

I tried to make the headline rhyme and its does a little. Anyway the film.

It is a bad film if you care about such things as script, characters, acting and suspense. I find it hard to find anything good about it really, Sybil Dannings boobs apart.

Yet... I watch it now and again for some reason I find it entertaining enough to dig it out from time to time and bask in its awfulness.

What does make me laugh is Christopher Lee trying his best to keep the sinking ship afloat and the three way werewolf scene that (a) goes on too long (b) is not sexy in the slightest and (c) ... well I stretched myself with c but lets just say the scene is embarrassing and pointless but who cares? Sybil shows us her glorious boobs, Christopher lee throws a midget out of a window, the midgets eyes explode, there are occasionally some creepy moments. Hell I like it!

Its a strange film to review as it is clearly awful there is no defending that. However I find it strangely watchable. Did that make any sense? No me neither....