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Reviews
The Strange Thing About the Johnsons (2011)
A Waste of Amazing Talent
This movie has everything going for it: great acting, direction, cinematography, costuming, production value overall, and even writing. However, the content of this project is not only disgusting, but implausible and completely ridiculous.
I know these things actually happen, but the presentation was horrible and almost felt like it was satirizing abuse. Go back and recut this into another story, or something. Just about anything, short of the Human Centipede, would be better.
Seriously, props to the skills of everyone involved, but I hope they find something of quality to attach themselves to in the future.
Stick It (2006)
A dirty, dirty, filthy, rotten McNasty trick.
This movie was a wretched mess in so many ways. First, it can't even seem to follow the basic movie formula that even the most mediocre of films do: introduce problem at the beginning, resolve it at the end.
In addition, the movie just randomly jumped all over the place and it felt like pages had been ripped out of the script. There was no sense of continuity, structure, or time. It was crazy. In one scene, characters would hate each other, yet in the very next scene, they would be the best of pals AND THEY NEVER EXPLAINED HOW/WHY THEY GOT THERE. Throw a montage in there, if you're going to be lazy, but skipping around like that is unacceptable.
And, of course, the movie was just. Not. Funny. To echo everyone else, every single slightly amusing part was shown in the trailer and, because whoever makes the trailers is actually good at their job, the "funny parts" were edited and clipped together in a way that made them seem a lot funnier than they actually were in the film.
I will pause to say one positive thing about this movie: Wei Wei was cute and amusing at time. Good for her. Boo for everything else.
To describe this movie in three words: Hot booty trash. I hope, that everyone who helped to make it number 3 at the box office will spread the word so that this travesty will fall off of the charts. Bring it On 2 was better than this mess.
Godzilla (1998)
Blech!
How is this film not in the bottom hundred? I've only walked out on a movie twice in my life, and this movie was one of those times. It's like they were making it up as they went along: "We killed it, yay! Oh, wait, it's not dead. Ok, now it is. Oh no, it's a she and it just had babies!" And on and on. Awful stuff.
The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron (2003)
Awful, Awful, Awful
As one of the victims of the whole Enron scandal, my mother forced me to watch this movie with her. How many times can I say awful? The script was so weak, using cliche after cliche. It seems as though the writers pieced this story together with a few articles on Enron. Watching the movie, we honestly were able to complete about half of the one-dimensional characters' lines and thoughts. I realize this was supposedly adapted from a book, but was the book this bad? I don't know what to say. Just terrible. The best thing about the movie? Shannon Elizabeth actually kept her clothes on. Other than that, this movie gets a big fat F.