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leeloo23
Reviews
Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (2012)
cheesy is expected... but the poor acting & writing is not.
I won't complain about the fact that they didn't grow hair in the movie. I don't care about that. I'll watch Cast Away when I want to see details. Sometimes a movie needs to skip certain details (like how they shaved) in order to stay focused on it's true purpose. For all we know, they used his knife and sharpened it on a rock. But to show us that is too time consuming and dumb. Let's pretend they used his knife to shave and move on. What drove me nuts was the lack of realistic human emotions. Poor Denise Richards. Finally lands an acting gig and boy does she look a bit rusty at it. Here's what I found laughable: SPOILER: 1st... Just 2 months after they are gone, she returns home. Who does that??? I'm sure the sister would rather they keep looking for her sibbling a bit longer! 2nd... Just 2 months after their disappearance, Denise, the mom, starts to pack away her daughter's clothes! WOW! She let that daughter go awfully quick. And without a tear! What a crock. 3rd... the arrival home. This is the WORST scene ever. Not only is it a huge public/media spectacle (in reality it would be a private arrival) but the whole school is there! So are the parents! Everyone waits as if in a queue line. The parents stand there with dorky grins waving when they see their kids come down the escalators... REALLY? You're not running toward your kid who you thought was DEAD! Last... I have a hard time believing, after that traumatic, yet exciting adventure, these 2 would just go their separate ways because of high school kids and their cliques. UGH, stupid, that's my immature reaction and non-lusterous way to describe this movie.
Dark Woods (2003)
I rented the wrong Dark Woods.
My mistake. I rented the wrong movie. This was hilariously bad. Every scene you never hear dialogue. They are so quiet. All you hear is background jukebox or birds TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET while people mumble to each other. Crickets, frogs, wind, feet scuffling, birds, music, car engines you name it, loud as heck. Then people are talking and they sound like they are whispering or talking from 30 feet away. TWEET TWEET TWEET!!!!!! At the bar a guy asks for a "cold one". The sound effects are awesome! Someone gets hit with a car and it's a punching sound. Blood squirts on the window and it's the sound of a ketchup bottle that's almost empty. Someone's walking on dirt and leaves and it sounds like someone's walking on glass. It's like they have a casio keyboard with 12 generic sound effects and they reuse them over and over.