Zaptharo Reviews

Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009)

Why is Walt Disney Pictures doing this?

[1/10 · 13 March 2009]

In honest truth, whether this was for getting paychecks or just putting on a pretty outfit for the girls to see, Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience was a film that should of never made it past movie critics. This is proof that the music industry is failing on the surface and is desperate to put any no-talent jockey on the music scene.

Look, I'm not all for critics or casual onlookers, but there was no need to green light this crap. The Jonas Brothers can prove to us that we can make it big by putting on a pretty face, and getting your popularity based on your image. The sad truth is that they didn't have to work that hard to make it to the top, so they steal elements based on other music artists and they try to regurgitate them into something new. They do so with flying colors, that is, with failure. Their music sounds so horrible I can make better sounds on my computer. That's really not saying much. Their poor guitar play, horrible singing, and a stale drummer add up to the realization that they possess no talent. Certainly nothing that would make a music critic go crazy about.

A sign of decline in this day and age is there are people dumb enough to compare the Jonas Brothers to great bands and artists of the past. Don't even try to compare them with Elvis Presley, the Beatles, the Ramones, AC/DC, Aerosmith or the other great music artists who helped make a difference in the music scene. They set the stage for what was to come and were music artists that were actually liked for their musical influence and talent. The Jonas Brothers, on the other hand, seem more fit to be a quick fad that will fade out by the year's end.

The worst, and perhaps the most shocking aspect of the movie is Disney's involvement with the Jonas Brothers. Just seeing the Disney logo slapped on the front is enough to make any classic Disney fan cry in terror. Who is running this show? Why should Disney be involved in any of this? What is the purpose of putting on a terrible concert show in theaters? This is simply a message that Disney does not care anymore. Back in the day, Disney was something that every child and parent looked forward to. From Snow White to the Lion King, Disney entertained audiences for generations and set the bar for creating animated masterpieces and original shows. Walt Disney was a highly respectable man and was simply ahead of his time. Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience has none of the magic or innovation of the old Disney. It is simply a title of greed and misconception.

The Jonas Brothers need to leave our general conscious. If any idiot would stump so low to actually waste a hard day's paycheck to see this flying piece of crap, then that person should seek a mental hospital. The Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience is nothing redeeming, nothing new, nothing special, and nothing exciting. I'm very upset that Disney was involved in any of it, and the fact that idiots out there don't realize how bad this is, makes me very frustrated. People out there need to seek talent that is higher than the average person. All this is is a publicity stunt that can show us that any moron can go crazy over a band that was stale from the beginning.

This is why much of mainstream entertainment is failing to put out something of influence. Instead, they are promoting crap like Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience in order to have the mind-controlled sheep buy more fluff. The people behind the box office should be ashamed of this title. Don't believe the hype, just ignore the title and hope that the Jonas Brothers won't come back for a sequel. Critics should know what passes for a movie, and this doesn't qualify.

A title that holds nothing to the Disney name.

One out of Ten.

American Idol (2002– )

America still doesn't get it...

[1/10 · 9 March 2009]

Words cannot describe my anger and frustration towards this karaoke style reality show. Clearly, I don't understand the popularity of American Idol. I really don't, and it's shows like this that explain the outer frame of today's mediocre television line-up.

It's basically a who's who contest of finding pop singers who can make it to the top in fashion. Because I'm no critic, I'm not going to present this review in an overly sophisticated fashion where the average person has a hard time understanding it. Instead, I'll get straight to the point and tell you why American Idol needs to leave our social conscious.

The reasons for America enjoying American Idol are in fact, shallow and poorly presented. Reality Television has transformed into nothing but seeing average people make an idiot out of themselves just so they can gain the money and fame they so desperately needed. For most of the auditions presented at the beginning of each season, that is what we're seeing. The premise is obviously scripted and there is nothing that relates American Idol to real life situations. Every year we see young adults and kids who try out to advance further in the frame of American Idol. They humiliate themselves on national television, and we're supposed to think that's entertaining. The judges, on the other hand, are the ones who perpetrate, and get away with it. Simon Cowell is well known for his overly biased personality, and he feels obliged to bash a young woman to tears. But with the majority of contestants possessing no talent, he may as well give it up and try something that is more pleasing to the human mind.

This is what we see every season, and for some, American Idol is growing weary. I can't give a clear reason why America becomes overly obsessed with such an unoriginal, stale show that makes people think that it was something influential. Every contestant who has both failed and succeeded in getting a record deal has offered nothing that is exceptional or unique. The only singers that American Idol accepts are pop singers. If you're trying to find a rock singer, band player, or a rapper, look elsewhere. American Idol only adds to the realization that the current music industry is in horrible shape. Radio fare has become so narrow and close minded that once you've heard a few songs, you've heard them all. American Idol has done nothing to help that problem, and many of the winners are quickly forgotten after the season's end.

Let's give ourselves a big break and end American Idol. The newer seasons have nothing new to offer and it's only there to have the mentally-challenged idiots try to put up a show that hit rock bottom from day one. American Idol is an insult to the music industry, pure and simple. If talented, hard working musicians play second fiddle to talentless, pop singer wannabes who earn their fifteen minutes of fame, then you know something is wrong. They have no actual need to build a steady, long lasting career in the music industry. After they end their run, they are quickly forgotten in the general audience. The season ends and American Idol presents itself in the coming year with the same material. Rinse, wash, repeat.

So in perspective, American Idol is a reality show that earned more than it should of. It has helped contribute to the Reality television genre as a norm, and it's a good reason why most people today don't possess much intelligence. The show is unintelligent and pointless, and we're supposed to shove it down our throats in the hopes that most of us will get recognized by an overly biased producer. American Idol is part of the shallow pop culture machine, a premise that insults our intelligence and social being. If more people were smart enough to turn off their television to do something worthwhile, than Reality television, as a concept, wouldn't exist. But instead, Reality shows are presented in the dozens, showing everyday Americans at their worst. I refuse to take any part in the American Idol society of mindless teenagers and socially unaware critics. Reality television is anything but reality. By all means, avoid.

One out of Ten.

Space Jam (1996)

A funny, wacky family friendly film, but comes up short..

[6/10 · 24 February 2009]

Since the release of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, animators and producers have been trying to emulate the blockbuster success. Some were good, many were mediocre or worse. Space Jam happens to fall into the category of okay, but with many flaws.

This wacky film stars basketball legend Michael Jordan, who is more or less, a so-so actor. At the height of his career, Michael wanted to retire from basketball to play baseball. To promote sales and products, Hollywood producers gave him a chance to act in front of the camera. He agreed, but only playing as himself.

The real strong point of this film is that it stars the Looney Tunes, some of the world's most recognized and beloved cartoon characters. Despite their grand entrance, the movie received lukewarm reviews in it's first few weeks. It was also criticized for having a somewhat ridiculous story, in which a tyrant named Mr. Swackhammer (Danny Devito) wants to build a new attraction by kidnapping Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes at a distant theme park known as Moron Mountain. Throughout the movie, Michael and his buddies work hard to challenge the tyrant's helpers to a basketball game. If they lose, they will be forced to entertain the hard-pleased natives of Moron Mountain for all eternity.

Space Jam is one of the few films where the Looney Tunes characters get their chance to express themselves on the big screen. Whereas most of their movies had basically added segments and poor animation, Space Jam was an original concept that gave the cartoon characters more depth. The animation looks beautiful and the live action blends in well with the cartoon environment.

Unfortunately that doesn't make up for the fact that the jokes and gags that are famous in numerous Looney Tune cartoons didn't make it into the movie. Weak dialog and somewhat poor plots revealed in Space Jam doesn't compare to the humor of the old cartoons or the better writing seen in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Some of the actors come up short, including the NBA players who simply play themselves. Wayne Knight was a goofy addition to the cast, but he was simply more annoying than tolerable. Bill Murray (Saturday Night Live, GhostBusters, Groundhog Day) was a disappointment, coming across as irritated and unlikeable by playing himself.

Still the good outnumbers the bad, and personally I think the critics were being too harsh on this film. The addition of Lola Bunny was a nice touch, and there were a few hilarious moments worth mentioning. It also has a good soundtrack, which fits in with the theme of Space Jam.

The film had a lot of merchandise going for it, and sadly it didn't hold up to it's full potential. If you get past the so-so acting of the live actors and the somewhat clichéd plot, Space Jam is a funny film that will entertain kids and Looney Tune fans alike. It wasn't merely aiming at an adult demographic, but it is still enjoyable by those who have watched the cartoon shorts. Not the best live action/animated film, but certainly not the worst either.

Six out of Ten.

Shrek 2 (2004)

With passion, I enjoyed it very, very much..

[9/10 · 20 February 2009]

In a fairy tale land in which almost anything bizarre can happen, you have Shrek 2. Fans of Dreamworks Animation will go bananas over this film, and it's not hard to see why. In fact, I find it hard for anyone NOT to like Shrek. While Shrek set the standard of a fairy tale film filled with hilarious moments and lovable creatures, the sequel outshines anything the original had.

Shrek, Donkey and Fiona embark on a journey to Far, Far Away, which is very much a portrayal of Hollywood. The reaction from the citizens on their arrival, however, have disregarded Shrek being the new son-in-law, and Fiona's parents aren't exactly kind to see Fiona with him. Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother makes a plan to have Prince Charming marry Fiona, and to have no relations with Shrek. In a series of hilarious scenes and memorable moments, Shrek goes on a quest to not only save Fiona from Prince Charming, but also to find his true destiny.

There are many references in this film, pointing mainly to English canon and the recent Hollywood films. Shrek 2 is a hilarious riot from start to finish, which explains why the film went on to make over $400 million at the box office. The talents of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz are back, along with superb performances by John Cleese and Antonio Banderas. Voice acting is top notch, and the animation is high quality. In an age where 3-D animated pictures and cartoons seem to flood today's entertainment market, Shrek 2 is a breath of fresh air. Furthermore, the soundtrack is completely original and does not borrow from music artists or other films.

Overall, the sequel to Shrek was well made and done. I am probably one of those who prefer the sequel over the original, since it was more fast paced and witty. It is a classic that stands on it's own, very much like Toy Story. Everyone in my family enjoyed it, and I can't see why anyone else couldn't. Despite my criticisms for recent Hollywood fare and pop culture, Shrek 2 sticks out. So go ahead and do yourself a favor to watch this movie at least ONCE. A hilarious film that will entertain both fans of comedy and fans of fairy tale novels.

Nine out of Ten.

Forever, Darling (1956)

A mostly forgettable, cheap film with a pairing of Lucy/Desi..

[3/10 · 19 February 2009]

If there is one thing I dread more than sitting through a collection of modern bad flicks, it is those that are both old and bad. Unfortunately, many of the classics that were filmed in Hollywood's Golden Age and beyond are now mainly left forgotten, only to be pulled by those who are studying the history of film and television.

You may ask why I am reviewing such an old and mediocre film. Believe it or not, something off of Lucy prompted me to sit down and review this nostalgic, but mostly bad film. There is no doubt that I Love Lucy remains a classic show, and though I am not a fan of it or Lucy by any means, you can't deny the impact and status it has had throughout the years. This is the last of the three Lucy/Desi films and it unfortunately, is the weakest of the bunch.

If Lucy and Desi had to struggle for years on B-quality films to finally get their money's worth, Forever Darling certainly doesn't help. There are few to no laughs shown here, not even a hilarious gag or skit. The productions used are sub-standard, and just like most of Lucille Ball's other films, the sets look cheap. It was basically a comedy misfire, and there is nothing special to praise about in Forever Darling. I considered The Long, Long Trailer to be a funny but mostly average film about two of the biggest television stars of the 1950s. Nothing to get excited or look forward to. But Forever Darling takes the prize as being one of the worse films of the 1950s and early 1960s, when B-movies such as this title were being packaged and manufactured on a assembly line.

The only profit this movie got was the fans who were eager to see Lucy and Desi star in their last film together, before their marriage began to fall apart and would eventually get divorced from each other. Only fans of Lucy and Desi should see this movie, for which I am a fan of neither. It is a stretched out "I Love Lucy" sketch that failed to impress the audience. Do yourself a favor and either watch "I Love Lucy" as seen by the eyes of millions, or see the mostly average but funnier Long, Long Trailer. Forever, Darling is not the worst movie, but it certainly isn't worth mentioning if your looking for witty comedy and good chemistry.

Three out of Ten.

The Simpsons (1989– )

A show of cultural impact..

[9/10 · 19 February 2009]

I really don't need to explain myself or the background of this show to state how epic it was and still is today. In it's early beginnings on the Tracy Ullman Show, no one ever knew that it would shape up to be one of the biggest television successes the medium has ever seen. Because of this, I wouldn't be surprised if fans still praise the Simpsons fifty years from now, since it made so many headlines. Furthermore, the show may be used to study how we entertained ourselves in the near future.

Since everyone here has already contributed to what has made the Simpsons such an epic show, I will skip the details and backgrounds to get right to the point. At it's very best, the Simpsons was something that EVERY American HAD to watch. Everyone loved seeing their favorite dysfunctional family on-screen. Homer Simpson, the dimwitted but lovable father, is hilarious in his blunders (D'oh!). Marge is the voice of passion, and puts her family as top priority above everything else. Lisa is the smart and intellectual younger sibling, who often gets frustrated with her older brother. Bart is the infamous school hating prankster who devises a scheme or two to enrage Homer. The Simpsons, along with everything else in Springfield, has something that almost any television viewer can relate to. To summarize this up, it had witty, clever, sophisticated humor that made Matt Groening a multi-millionaire, pushing the Simpsons to the top of the list. Since it's debut, it has remained one of the most popular television families in America.

The Simpsons however, isn't without it's flaws. I consider Season's two to eight to be masterpieces, and arguably the "Golden Age" of the Simpsons. Unfortunately, the writing has declined a bit thru the years, which made our beloved Simpsons not as well as they could be. The antics became more unrealistic to the point of being unfunny, and many famous guest stars would simply just pop in without any explanation or purpose. Furthermore the cast just didn't seem to care as much anymore. But as with everyone else, what comes up must come down. And the Simpsons is no exception, which is why I rated this a nine instead of a perfect score. That being said, it's still better than most modern television sitcoms. I just happen to be a Simpsons fan who has seen it evolve into the phenomenon it is today.

So there you have it. Twenty years later and the Simpsons is STILL going strong. It may not be as culturally powerful as it was in it's heyday, but it's pretty obvious at this point that we will continue to discuss this show for generations to come. It has been awarded more times than ANY other show out there, and the Simpsons is simply a master of it's craft. Even if you aren't a fan of situational comedies or animation works of art, I highly recommend you watch this series at least ONCE. You can learn a lot from this show, even as it continues to laugh at politics, popular culture and even itself.

Whether your a fan who is leaning towards the older seasons of the Simpsons or if your seeing it for the first time, the cultural awareness and fan-base surrounding this show proves that it won't be leaving our television sets anytime soon. If you can't notice the details, you aren't a television buff.

Nine out of Ten.

The Sandlot (1993)

A great film that you'll enjoy again and again...

[8/10 · 17 February 2009]

If you ask me, the Sandlot is one of the better sport films that concentrates not only on friendship, but also on teamwork, determination, and believing in yourself. I have seen this movie on many occasions, and it never fails to amaze me. The kids shown in this movie are just what they should be; not sugar-coated, obnoxious, whiny or arrogant. The movie is family-friendly, and not in a bad way either.

The setting takes place in the early 1960s. A kid named Scotty Smalls moves into a new neighborhood and soon gets involved with a group of baseball buddies in some hilarious, memorable moments. Throughout the movie, he narrates how he got into the biggest pickle, and how it was one of the biggest summers of his early life. Benny Rodriguez, the neighborhood hero, accepts him into the Sandlot, and he soon learns of the sport of baseball. Then, he hears the tale of 'The Beast', who the kids fear that he might eat them and take their beloved sport away. At first, Smalls doesn't believe the story, but soon realizes that he fears 'The Beast' just as much as they do. In a string of hilarious scenes, the boys will do anything to save their pals and the Sandlot.

A turning point in the movie is when Smalls takes his stepfather's autographed Babe Ruth baseball to continue on with the game. After he whacks the ball into the yard of 'The Beast', he soon fears that the ball may be history. The boys devise a plan to bring the ball back, even if it means being inside the territory of 'The Beast'.

Because I don't want to spoil too much, the movie in itself is one that you'll come back for again and again. It captures that childhood innocence almost perfectly, and it contains that feeling that is rarely felt in other childhood films. Anyone who grew up in Southern California during the 1950s and 1960s should feel right at home when they watch this film. Even though the film wasn't actually filmed there, it still depicts the era in which it was cast.

The Sandlot also reminds us of the days when kids would play outside during the long summer days, before the world became indulged in video games, text messaging, and surfing the Web. The actors in here all give a solid performance, at the very least above average. They aren't really well known, but just as with everything else, not all famous actors are good and not all child actors are bad. To make a long story short, the Sandlot is a well made film that will entertain kids and adults alike.

Despite seeing the movie several times, I still enjoy it for what it is. Although it's not perfect (what movie is?), I highly recommend this movie for those nostalgic of simpler times and those obsessed with baseball.

8 out of 10.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)

High School Musical 3 does not pass for graduation..

[1/10 · 15 February 2009]

Let me make this clear and precise from the start. The High School Musical trilogy is an abomination from start to finish. This movie is not only an embarrassment to those fond of musicals, it's an insult to the pioneers of Disney who helped make it into the animation powerhouse it once was. Nothing in here portrays anything to classic Disney, and that's a shame.

None of the actors have any natural talent or charisma. Not a single one. Songs occur in the most unlikely moments and most if not all singers perform using lip-syncing. That does not prove talent, it's just used to saturate an already failing industry that thinks work like this is good. If that wasn't enough, the actors all come across as perfect individuals without any problems. Have the writers and directors ever experienced the life of actual high school? It's nothing compared to the garbage seen in this film. Because thousands of others have already commented on everything bad about this poor excuse of a musical, I will stop here.

The fact that people out there prefer this to something such as Pirates of the Caribbean makes me sick. These people don't deserve anything, and they certainly didn't work hard to get where they are today. A bunch of young, immature morons who have helped transform Disney from a respectable entertainment company to a laughing stock.

A sad 1 out of 10.

The Pink Panther 2 (2009)

Don't even bother...

[1/10 · 9 February 2009]

I don't understand why Hollywood has to keep remaking movie after movie in order to please the younger generations. The first Pink Panther was bad enough, but this takes the cake as being one of the worst movies I've seen in years.

There is nothing original or redeeming about this movie. Steve Martin has to rely on overworked plots and scripts. He simply isn't the man he was decades ago when he was a part of SNL and starred in various comedies that were actually funny (The Jerk, Planes Trains and Automobiles, etc). It is a shame to know that the big name actors, like John Cleese, had to star in this train wreck. Maybe that wanted more money, a little more fame. Who knows. But I think it's obvious that Steve Martin is well past his prime. He needs to star in something that is actually original, or have people let him do what he wants, instead of being forced to do garbage such as this title. Don't be surprised if this movie ends up in the bargain bin as soon as it is released on DVD.

If kids want to see the original classics as done by Peter Sellers, let them do so. There is really no point in these remakes except to make money and gain a little more fame. Steve Martin is no Peter Sellers, and he should be himself rather than play characters he knows he's not good at.

1 out of 10.

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Only an Extended Recent Season Episode

[2/10 · 19 September 2008]

After watching this for the second time after a friend of mine forced me to, I asked myself, just what is so special about the Simpsons Movie? Am I supposed to believe that what the critics say is actually true? Don't be fooled. The Simpsons Movie, as it turns out, is just an extended recent season episode filled with more pointless plots and humor. It's sad too, because I was a big Simpsons when it was still going strong. What made it great was it's intelligent humor and ability to reason in a well developed manner. It was a breakthrough in television and it led to other adult themed cartoons such as South Park and Family Guy. But this, this was so disappointing I was left wondering how much longer the Simpsons show was going to last.

As I watched the movie, I found jokes to be recycled from older episodes and ridiculous plots that led to nowhere. I never understood the point of why Homer brought "Spider-Pig" home, only to disappear soon for the rest of the movie. The plot was perhaps the worst aspect of the movie. Lisa falls in love with an Irish boy, Homer dumps waste in a lake, Marge goes angry, the EPA traps Springfield in a dome, the Simpsons family escapes and goes to Alaska, Marge and the kids are captured, Homer is aided by a Native American (aka boob lady) while trying to return to Springfield, a time bomb is placed in Springfield, and Homer and Bart save the day while riding the dome on a motorcycle. When you take these plot lines together, they make little to no sense. Which is what led this movie to disaster.

The characters were also a disappointment. The Simpsons family was the only cast that actually had a part in this movie. All of the beloved characters we've come and known over the years (Principal Skinner, Moe, Barney, Mr Burns, Apu, Krusty the Clown, Mayor Quimby, and Sideshow Bob amongst others) get little to no screen time. Instead, we get EPA Guy and an irritated Arnold Schwarzenegger. Those guys, along with "Spider-Pig", the Irish Boy, and Boob Lady, get more than double the screen time that the more well-known characters get. If anything, it was a recipe for disaster. Most if not all of the characters in this movie seemed forced and uninspired. Rather, this wasn't the old and beloved cast we knew. We were watching a watered down version of the show that just happened to be a movie. 85 minutes of low quality toilet humor without an ounce of genuine talent involved, with paper thin plots on top of it. I could of asked for more guest stars, but even they haven't fared well in the recent seasons of the Simpsons, so they could of made the movie even worse than it already is.

I'm beginning to lose trust in the Simpsons and Hollywood in general, since they seem to dilute and damage nearly every movie franchise they touch. Like the recent Indiana Jones, TMNT, Transformers, and Star Wars movies, the Simpsons movie is a failure that should be placed in the bargain bin. Just what happened to the magic these franchises once had? They've been turned into corporate cash cows, and the Simpsons is no exception. If you take my advice, you would be smart enough to purchase the older seasons of the Simpsons on DVD (Seasons 2-8) and forget the atrocity that is this movie. The only part that amused me was the beginning, when Homer told me that I should be watching TV at home and not paying to see a piece of garbage on the big screen. After that little part, I was fast asleep in the theater.

2 out of 10.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)

Please Sandler, this is the same old routine...

[1/10 · 25 July 2008]

After having to see this film after all the discussion, all I have to say is this: It's the same old, boring movie that just happened to have an ending a la Disney. Adam Sandler was never a powerful actor, and neither was Rob Schneider. So they try to go by the way of comedic effort, only with mediocre results. In every movie, Sandler has to act tough, he does something wrong and is forced to fix those problems until they're solved, with some comedy thrown in along the way. You Don't Mess with the Zohan however, wasn't funny at all. It was insulting, and why would Sandler want to go around servicing those old ladies? The humor in this movie was indeed that, "potty" humor. Stuff that middle aged kids like and anyone who has seen movies that were even somewhat decent should avoid seeing films like this.

Sandler has only made a couple of decent titles, and to think that a film like this one should even be considered good is ridiculous. We are reminded again and again that Sandler doesn't have the talent to expand further, because every movie he has made has been the same plot, setting and character. A good actor would know how to play multiple roles in various movies, spanning from the hilarious to the drama suspense type. But here, it's the "been there, done that" routine. A degrading, awful movie that should be placed at the bottom of the barrel.

1 out of 10.

88 Minutes (2007)

How did Pacino get involved in this?

[1/10 · 30 April 2008]

Al Pacino, is without a doubt, one of the greatest actors to come and step foot in Hollywood. His older movies like the Godfather and Scarface will forever be classics. In a recent string of events he has managed to pull himself on film with a few "halfway decent" titles, but 88 Minutes is the bottom of the barrel.

This has to be one of the most fake movies I've seen in recent years. I can accept movies like Lord of the Rings and Spiderman because they aren't actually supposed to take place in real-time. This whole flick takes itself too seriously, and the ridiculous car chases and explosions make it to show that this couldn't possibly happen in real life. Whoever wrote this needs to go back to school and learn some real engaging material, something that is more real and sophisticated. It's just very unreal.

The scripting was just awful. Terrible one-liners, and the supporting actors all act as if they were on steroids and running rampant as the movie wears on. The female actresses couldn't act to save their lives. And boy, did you ever notice how similar this was compared to other thriller type movies in this era? I mean cm-on it's as if people can't think of something original anymore. Then you come to the ending which is really just a nail in the coffin. Unbelievable and just plain stupid.

I don't know how the same person who played a terrific performance in Scarface can be cast a role in a "mediocre to bad" action-type film. I guess actors/actresses adapt and change over time, but if I knew a movie was going to be this bad, I wouldn't star in it to damage my reputation. Al Pacino, we've seen the better of you.

Avoid watching this. Whether you're planning to see this in theaters or later buying it on DVD, prepare to cower yourself in disgust.

1 out of 10.

The Honeymooners (2005)

This was an insult and a joke...

[1/10 · 24 April 2008]

Cedric the Entertainer may be a cool guy to meet up with, but starring in a below average comedy film is simply ridiculous. I may be far from the era of "The Honeymooners", but to put it this way, this movie insults that good, genuine sitcom in every single way. This wasn't even a mediocre film, it's a piece of crap that just somehow made it into movie theaters all across America.

I could blab about everything that was bad in this film, but taking the same name of a classic sitcom and making it into a "modernized" garbage flick is insulting. This is just an example of how Hollywood has made countless remakes and rehashes of older material in the past few years by making them worse. There is no talent to be found here, and none of the actors are something to get all excited about. Another problem was that the cast was all black. I am not being racist, but during "The Honeymooners" era, there were hardly any black people who were in show business, and this cast is nothing compared to the old cast.

The least Hollywood could of done was make it into a "Pleasantville" type setting. Even though it's nowhere near a favorite movie of mine, it depicted the same era that "The Honeymooners" was cast in and it revealed a whole new experience of what it was like to live in that time. But, this movie was nothing special, nothing original, and nothing exciting. Just a rehash that Hollywood made up because they are too greedy to convince themselves to think of something new.

Consider yourself warned if you happen to see this. Don't even watch this for Cedric. Put this into your trash bin and watch the classics instead.

1 out of 10.

Sanford and Son (1972–1978)

A Work of Genius...

[9/10 · 11 March 2008]

Growing up in the 1980s and early 1990s, I had no intentions to think of any show before that era. It's not that I didn't like them, I just felt that the shows I grew up on were the best. A couple of years ago I grew weary of the state of television and decided to find something that would satisfy my taste buds. When I found Sanford & Son being aired on TV Land, I was surprised. I never knew beforehand that so many good sitcoms came out of the 1970s, and this is no exception.

Originally based off of "Steptoe & Son", Sanford & Son revolves around a junk dealer and his son living in a neighborhood in Watts, Los Angeles. Fred Sanford (Redd Foxx) is a sarcastic and stubborn person who's plans usually backfire, causing trouble. His son Lamont Sanford (Demond Wilson) usually has to complete tasks and order his own father to complete jobs. It was very amusing to see the two argue against each other and have to become loyal in order for things to come back to normal.

But there are a couple other interesting characters in the series worth mentioning. Aunt Esther (LaWanda Page), who is sister of Fred Sanford's late wife Elizabeth, is a Baptist who just can't seem to handle Fred too well. In most cases they spew insults to each other such as "Gorilla Face" and "Fish-Eyed Fool", and what makes this funny is that it never gets old. I always found myself laughing whenever Fred gave Aunt Esther a dirty joke. Grady Wilson (Whitman Mayo), who is Fred's closest friend, usually acts as his "sidekick" and is involved in get rich schemes. Unfortunately, Redd Foxx left the show for some episodes (due to a feud with the producers) and thus Grady had to fill in, in order to watch the junk yard business. Many characters appear in the show, and not one of them is really that boring to watch.

I recommend this to anyone who enjoys the classic sitcoms, well before Cable TV and Reality TV started getting out of hand. I consider the 1970s to be the "Golden Age of Sitcoms," because that was when barriers were broken and actors displayed their best talents to make themselves stand out. All in the Family, M*A*S*H, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Happy Days, Good Times, The Jeffersons, Three's Company, Different Strokes, Taxi, and numerous others. Sanford & Son puts most of the 1990s and 2000s sitcoms to shame. It was a stroke of genius, and Redd Foxx was a one of a kind individual. No one beforehand thought a stand up comic would be good in his own show. But he did it, in a big way. It's still a hit among old and young generations alike, and if Sanford & Son still lives on even after over 35 years, then you know that it's a classic. Like Archie Bunker, Fred Sanford is a unique person.

So don't waste your time watching the Disney Channel or anything that comes out of Reality TV. Sanford & Son is a timeless sitcom that will keep you laughing. Highly recommended.

9 out of 10.

Zoey 101 (2005–2008)

It falls flat on it's face...

[1/10 · 25 January 2008]

For any fan of Nickelodeon who used to watch the network in the 80s and 90s, there was always something good on. You had entertaining acts like You Can't Do That on Television. You had weird but good shows like Pete & Pete. You even had cartoons that taught morals like Doug. But just like Disney, Nickelodeon has fallen down the tubes, limiting their demographic to shallow preteens and giving us poor excuses to come up with new, innovative shows. As I tried watching Zoey 101, I just shook my head in disgust.

The setting couldn't of been more fake than this one. Each character attends a boarding school called Pacific Coast Academy, boasting everything that a spoiled child wants. A sushi bar, laptops everywhere, flat screen TVs in every room, cool dorms to hang out, etc. The kids in this show are rarely seen in class and there doesn't seem to be any real teachers. It looks more like a place that you would spend on a nice summer vacation rather than to work and study while preparing for college.

The characters were also a factor that turned me off. Every episode consists of boy problems, situations that they caused themselves, and troubles that should be solved. Each character is a stereotype. Zoey (Jamie Lynn) seems perfect in anything she does, and each of her friends ask her for help when they feel they are in grave danger. Only leading her to have no other side. I've been through school and I can tell you, nobody is like that. Chase is dumb. Logan plays the arrogant tough guy. Quinn plays a nerd who is highly unrealistic in what she does. Michael is an idiot. Lola is a clone of Nicole. Dana is just well, a tough person. Why not use some originality? Something that is unique for these characters, and different from other personalities? Is being stereotypical the best the creators of this show can come up with? Instead, these actors are dull personalities with the sense in that there is a lack of creativity involving their roles. There is nothing here to be amazed or surprised at.

Not only that, but the show is clearly for the intent of aiming for kids of adolescence, facing a stage in that they must evolve from being a child to being an adult. Through that period they must learn to study on their own, make their own decisions, and do what's right for them. Zoey 101 contains nothing of those values. In this case, we are supposed to believe that looking good and having a stereotypical personality is all you need to succeed. I'm sorry, but that simply isn't true. People can't expect things to be handed to them like the actors in this show are and just let those things sit there. If I expect things in Zoey 101 to happen in real life, then I would be living in a fantasy world locked away in a dream house. Nothing in this show relates to those who face health and money issues. Neither does it relate to kids wanting to learn something meaningful.

So in conclusion, Zoey 101 is a show made by Nickelodeon that only falls flat on it's face. It displays a horrible message for kids and I highly think the show itself is simply inappropriate for them. Sure, it doesn't have morbid violence, but it teaches everything to make a kid act and look stupid. A horrible show, and should be forgotten with the rest of the garbage Nickelodeon has been making in recent years.

1 out of 10.

Hannah Montana (2006–2011)

One of the many examples of why Disney has gone downhill...

[1/10 · 20 January 2008]

Did I like Disney at one time? I sure did. Especially the Disney Channel, which once had a whole variety of programs to choose from, including those from when Walt Disney himself was still around. But now, those days are over, and the company is now referred to as a has been. I've tried to tolerate Disney in recent years, but anymore, the majority of what comes out of it is plain crap. The show Hanna Montana is a good indication of that.

Quite frankly, I grew up with sitcoms, and back in the 80s and 90s, there was always a good sitcom to watch with the whole family. Not now. I honestly can't see why Hanna Montana is so popular among the kids and the young teens crowd. It is dull, and the laugh track that is common in sitcoms is played in even the most boring of parts. Miley Cryus herself displays poor acting, heck, I say the whole crew lacks talent. Like HSM, this show is just another poor example of what Disney nowadays seems to think as good entertainment. It is not.

Perhaps the most insulting is when Hanna (Miley) puts on a wig as a disguise. Suddenly, it's as if no one knew who she was. How pathetic is that? She also yells at her best friends, like that it's okay to do in real life. Miley pretty much uses her cheesy lines and cruel ways to deal with things, and in the end, her friends always return. She even has her father playing in this, helping her along the way just in case something bad happens. So to make myself clear, Hanna Montana is a joke, bringing in a bland plot line with some of the most wretched clichés I have ever seen.

I wish the Disney Channel would go back to the way it was. But concerning today's society, I doubt Disney will. I had respect for them, but I have all but lost it in recent years. So unless you have children who are overexcited for this cookie cutter show, avoid this at all costs. It is not what some people claim it to be.

1 out of 10.

High School Musical 2 (2007 TV Movie)

A Terrible Sequel to a Terrible Movie...

[1/10 · 18 January 2008]

In the past, there have been bad sequels. Usually, many first movies were good while winning box-office success, whereas their sequels were a big let-down, causing fans to lose interest and turn away. In other cases, some movies were bad, but their sequels caught the attention of movie lovers, deserving those titles as cult followings. Or maybe it could be that both were good. High School Musical and this sequel are none of those.

So where can I explain what was bad about this movie that many others haven't? This movie, like the last, stole references from classic movies without putting them up right. If you thought that High School Musical had horrible plots, this one does as well. Clearly, it is unbelievable. I will probably never know how such an overrated piece of garbage garners so much attention (the first movie even held a spot on Guinness Book of World Records), because this is all that a good movie is not. The production all feels rushed, which makes me wonder if the head honchos at Disney even knew what they were doing before they would go approve this bad sequel. The actors once again got wasted (except for Efron, who seemed to hog the spotlight), only contributing to the movie in the most unusual of parts. The music and lip-syncing were just as bad as the last, and we're supposed to believe that going through high school is all a fantasy lifestyle, complete with cheesy antics and situations.

Basically, this movie is a warped message to send to those parents and kids who don't know any better. Throughout my time trying to stomach this film, it just dragged on and on, feeling as though my soul was being ripped apart. This sequel was pretty much a slapped on project, trying to stick to something to see what happens. It's all fake, simply just giving kids the wrong message. The screenplay writer simply went over his head when writing this movie. If people still say this was good, I honestly wouldn't believe them. It's as simple as that.

So in conclusion, High School Musical 2 is only a reminder that Disney still can't get things right, and that might go back as far as the mid 90s, which was when I felt, that they were starting to lose respect. This has nothing on a Broadway performance, or even other movies of the same type as this. If I wanted a good movie of a musical, I would watch "Grease". It may not be one of the best movies out there, but at least it is much more fulfilling than what this sugar-coated trash has given to the audience. Don't feed upon it.

1 out of 10.

High School Musical (2006 TV Movie)

Disney has never stooped this low...

[1/10 · 17 January 2008]

In truth, what happened to Disney? What happened to their once good station? Well, if you ask me, it has all but gone downhill in the past 10 or so years. Up until the 90s, Disney was once a respected company that brought out classics such as Beauty & the Beast, Duck Tales, Tale Spin and the Lion King. After that, it has all but gone downhill.

I cannot express how much hate I have towards this company. They have done nothing but butcher their own stations, promote bubblegum junk for the masses, do worthless remakes and sequels, and possibly worst of all, become too gimmicky. This company, like many others today, are only concerned about the money. Forget what the fans and the audience have to say. When it only concerns money and popularity, they strive to complete those goals. High School Musical is such an example.

This was perhaps one of the worst movies made in recent years, or perhaps one of the worst Disney movies of all time. Everything is fake about this movie. The plot is fake. The setting is fake. The story is fake. Even the characters are fake. So what exactly is this movie for? The brain dead teeny boppers that have seemed to gain a lot of popularity in this decade. If Disney once made masterpieces like Snow White, then I don't know how they've diminished to this sort of terrible quality, especially if people still respected them 15 years earlier.

I could of sworn that none of these people can act. Not one of them. I clearly can't understand why Zac Efron is so popular, yet it turns out that didn't even do his own songs. The voices are just bad, especially Gabreilla's. After about a hour into the movie, I could do nothing but just drone. Everything in this movie is predictable. It happens to fall into the category of "we treated you hard in the past, but we're happy with you now" type garbage. It even showcases a lot of stereotypes, for instance when "black" guy dates with "black" girl. High School isn't supposed to be what this movie is assuming. It is supposed to be a time of growing up and learning to accept all the problems out in the real world throughout a person's lifetime. None of that is shown in High School Musical. It's all just plastered garbage, thrown at the wall for people to look and laugh at.

All in all though, I could go on about everything I hated about this movie but I'm sure other people know what they are. In the end, High School Musical is a disaster, and should be forgotten. The music was terrible, the acting was atrocious, the plots and settings were lame, etc. It's just a reminder of how bad Disney has gotten to be in the past decade or so. By stealing from stuff like "Grease" and tearing it apart to no end. I can't accept this as being good, I just can't. This movie is a terrible influence on kids, and if movies like this keep churning out of Hollywood, then we are going to have a generation of mindless teens and young adults. It's not a musical, it's a film to throw straight into the trash bins.

A sad 1 out of 10.