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Reviews
Stranded (2023)
No deaths, no excitement, just four people in a car arguing
This has to be the most boring, worst written movie ever. No one dies, the characters are all brats, and we only get 2 minutes of Big Foot terrorizing anyone.
I do find it amazing that someone could write such unenjoyable characters. I mean it's normal to find one character that you hate, but to be able to write not one, not two, not even three, but four boring, uninteresting characters and to put them together in a car for an hour and a half is amazing. The writer could not have done worse if they intended to.
I do not joke when I say 90% if the movie is four bad actors in a car arguing about the same thing over and over again.
13 Slays Till X-Mas (2020)
A group of Debbie-Downers visit a local bar on Christmas where they decide to tell scary stories to see who picks up the tab.
Your boy Bobby Joe here. The illegitimate son of Job Bob, bringing you another true indie review.
13 Slays Till X-Mas, starring Katie Stewart, and Brittany Blanton has solid acting, solid camerawork, and lighting, but it suffers in storytelling. The segments are so short that it's impossible to get invested, except for Dead Air, which is probably the best writing, directing, and acting that I've seen in any indie movie. Other than that, the stories are all forgettable. I've watched the movie 3 times and still can't remember any character's names.
We do get to see the always-lovely Katie Stewart and Brittany Blanton, as well as Roni Jonah, Rebecca Rinehart, and Shawn C. Phillips, so if you're a fan of either of these indie stars, you may enjoy the movie.
The lowdown is as follows.
No breasts. 1 near girl-on-girl kiss. No gore. Near 20 kills. Solid acting. Solid camerawork. Bad storytelling.
In the end, I gave 13 Slays Till X-Max 4 stars. It's not great, it's not bad, but it's a Christmas scary movie which we need more of.
Intrusion (2015)
I bet the actors can't even watch this.
Your boy Bobby Joe here. The illegitimate son of Job Bob bringing you another true indie review.
When Holly and her friend decided to do some prank calling and Holly is unlucky enough to call a homicidal psycho in the midst of him murdering his cheating girlfriend, he begins stalking Holly, murdering her friends and anyone else the director could talk into being in the film.
Okay, first off, it is my belief that the positive reviews of this movie were done by the cast and their family as even for an indie movie, this was bad. The quality looks like it was recorded on someone's camcorder back in the 90s and the acting is hit and miss. Some, like Katie Stewart, who plays Holly, do well while others, like Mark Spurgeon, are clearly friends of the director's who he asked to act for him.
Shadows from the crew and seen in multiple scenes and the kills are nothing special. Although Katie Stewart is good to look at, and we get a shower scene, she remains fully clothed through the film.
The rundown is as follows.
One set of breasts, 8-10 kills, no gore, and a lackluster story. In the end I had to give this a 1 star.