lee-ganon916-2 Reviews

Disaster Movie (2008)

Never EVER make a bet with your "friends"

[1/10 · 28 August 2008]

If you saw the other previous spoof movies by these two horrible gentlemen, then you should know that this already will be bad. I'll tell you the truth, if you want to watch it as a brainless person (ironically meant for the stereotypical teenagers, which I am not) then you will laugh at it a bit. But if you judge it, even a little, the movie automatically fails. Why? Never ask that when it comes to these two men.

Remember the good old Hollywood days whenever making a movie was about showing people a type of art, and also a story that kept you on the edge of your seat? Well whenever word hit that making films earned you loads of cash, then all these greedy people came in the picture and its quite pathetic. These two are no exception. We still have movie artists (most notably the genius that is Christopher Nolan). But these two guys just...well I've been writing so big words, let me put it in simple terms for these guys...These guys suck, they are not artists, but instead money craving whores. And their latest movie proves this even more so.

The movie fails so easily its mind blowing. I mean nothing was funny in the trailer, and people usually put the best stuff in them (like idiots sometimes).

I knew it was going to be bad, but I made a bet with my "friends" and that wasn't a good idea at all. I have to write movie reviews in a paper and tell everyone whats good and whats bad, same for my friends. We flipped on who has to review it...Why me? Well I'm warning you at least. It shouldn't even be called a movie, nothing about it is artistic or original. The jokes..I'm sorry, the references are made throughout at pretty much random, like the Hannah Montana or the Juno gig (they were actually close to spoofing it, but failed by referencing instead of joking and twisting it).

Oh and please, the random wrestling scene? I don't know about you other guys, but I have high respect for women, and I have a high respect for film-making. What I do know is you shouldn't have something in a movie that doesn't add up to the story or anything. Nudity is not really needed (Titanic was the closest exception, but still you would've gotten the idea if you only saw her bare legs.) Now I hate it when a girl says all guys are the same, perverts and brainless (and if you disagree with what I said about the nudity in a film, you might be one of them unless you actually believe it has a point), and sadly this film just makes that stereotype a little bigger. Thats if anyone watches it, which hahahaha!!! By the way, when I said movies should have scenes and only scenes that add up to the main plot, that was the ticket right there to say that this movie fails. Yup, just like that. Perhaps I'm grading too hard for these guys. I mean its a brainless movie...Nope, they deserve it. Besides thats the best part about reviewing a bad movie, you get to rip it inside out. Thats if you know how to grade a movie correctly.

But lastly (well I've got about 4 scores worth of bad movies I need to write about, but whatever) the main idea about spoofing was brand new when Airplane! came out. Same with Naked Gun. And whenever something random came into play, the story was still progressing. For example, the arrow in Airplane! shooting out of nowhere: random, yes, but the story was still movie and no one was distracted except the audience. Perfect. Naked Gun, not only was it spoofing cop films and others, but it also had its own jokes. Same with Airplane! Anyways this movie was made for money, not to tell people a story. Simple as that, and never flip a dang coin to determine something that could be life threatening.

I give it a 1 out of a 10. Just do yourself a favor and watch good movies, or mediocre for that matter.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Back to the Tomb it came from

[1 August 2008]

This movie pretty much came from a smelly tomb.

The dialog was plain annoying and goofy. It wasn't this bad in the other two (though still goofy), but it just seemed that the writers were desperate to find a last minute humor. It's ridiculous to listen to what they say. But, I can't take the dialog too seriously, because for starters this movie is plain fiction.

Maria Bello plays..Oh who cares, she was terrible. Rachel Weisz was perfect, and she didn't want to reprise her role sadly. I believe it was difference of opinion on the script. That was a sign from God that the writers should do something else with the script.

Brendon Fraser is, well the same. Same for John Hannah (He pretty much steals the show) The special effects..just look at the trailers and behold. What was the budget on this movie? For the story, it's a pretty good setup, but it plays off just horrible. With the mummy, he has the ability to control the elements of the earth, yet he chooses to waste his precious time with Fraser and the gang instead of just killing them like so. There is a car chase scene where he magically pulls the car apart. Do I have a problem with the magic? No, it's just why doesn't he flip the whole car over? And the talking yetis, well I just laughed in my head at that one.

All in all the film is terrible, yet for some reason it's enjoyable. There are scenes that were a bit interesting, to say the least. It's another case of "It's so bad, it's enjoyable." Notice how I said enjoyable, and not "good." This film is perfect if you want mindless mayhem, but I wouldn't get too excited that it's in theaters.

Doodlebug (1997)

An early short from Nolan

[8/10 · 30 July 2008]

Fun, enjoyable, and simple. This is a very interesting short film made by Christopher Nolan, who is famous for not only reviving the Batman series, but for The Prestige, Insomnia, and my favorite Memento.

This film doesn't require much thinking or anything, which caught me off guard because Nolan is famous for making me think.

The entire running time is very enjoyable. The plot is simple. A man tries to exterminate an annoying doodlebug.

A lot of directors had to start somewhere, but unlike most filmmaker's early years, Nolan's short film is fascinating. The only thing that people complain about is that it becomes very predictable within a minute or so into it. That is true, however it then becomes a story of "Is he? I hope he doesn't do it." type suspense. It's a very enjoyable short that makes me wonder one thing. Where did Nolan get this idea?