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Reviews
Kambakkht Ishq (2009)
Story of a very hot Indian-origin-soon-to-be-surgeon-cum-part-time-model in the US who tries to ... Read on, you ain't seen nothing yet.
After I watched this movie, I could think of only one word for it - brilliant.
Its punchy storyline and ultrakewl production design have you in awe from the first second. The script essays the antics of a very hot Indian-origin-soon-to-be-surgeon-cum-part-time-model in the US who tries to recover her mantra-chanting watch which she accidentally leaves inside a Hollywood stuntman whom she hates during her first surgery, only to discover that both of them are inconsolably, unspeakably, indisputably in love.
No, really.
This plot, my friend, is a flash of inspiration from the Gods. We can only wonder how such a brilliant storyline escaped the consciousness of all script writers, past, present and future.
Apart from the general brilliance, there is also a very tasteful scene in which an African-American lady digs into Akshay Kumar's butthole looking for smuggled goods. Of course, this is all in good humour and hence the movie is rated UA.
Annuuuu Mallliiiikkk - dear Lord. He, with any other spelling would smell the same. The song, 'Bebo, main bebo' had me tapping my feet in the cinema hall, but I had to stop because the person seated in front of me had a slight dislocation of the spinal cord. I also saw many others tap their feet out of the theater at this stage. They must have had something real important to do, because they missed one HELL of a movie.
There is also the presence of Hollywood, thus validating this movie for kewlness. I mean really, we are cool so we must like Hollywood films and their stars, right? So Stallone plays a cameo as himself, and not only does he give a Taurus award to Akki at an awards ceremony studded with fake stars, he even rescues surgeon Kareena and lingerie model Amrita Arora while they are driving through a shady neighbourhood with that Aftab fellow who never does any major roles. Mr Balboa just happens to be walking by at that time. After punching the lights out of the goons, he says 'Kambhaaaakt Eeeeessshk', for no particular reason and resumes his walk, this time (hold your breath) in slow motion.
Also there is Denise Richards, who seems to have reduced in quantity to Denise Richard as Akki-playa-Kumar calls her. We couldn't handle more than one of her, but one is just about right I think. Especially since our man dumps her for the surgeon with whom he finally finds trulowe.
So please, take your infants, toddlers, pre-teenagers and other family members to this movie. It's an experience you will never forget. Never.
Rating: 0.5 / 10
Seven Pounds (2008)
Contrived plot and poor execution
I have nothing against slow movies. I like some of them, I really do. But I don't like slow and stupid. And that's exactly what 'Seven Pounds' is. This Will Smith starrer had me reaching under my skin and pulling my organs out! During the first half of the movie, you feel like you're being set up for something - a wild twist or at least an interesting ending, but by the end of the movie you just feel plain set up.
The movie follows an IRS agent Ben Thomas who goes around meeting people to make judgments about whether they are basically good or bad people. That very notion makes the movie a little immature as against something like 'Crash' which showed different sides of human personalities so beautifully. While he is doing all this, you basically have no idea why it's happening (or at least that's what the script assumes you think), but you don't need any exceptional prescience to feel a crappy revelation coming on; and this is what the the fate of the movie rests on - a mushy, boring and contrived 'twist'.
As it plays out, the ending scores high on the cheesometer (a couple of notches below Hancock maybe, but that's still quite high) and some bizarre structuring fails to pick it up. After a few flashbacks and hints questions like "What happened in his past life?" and "What does this lead to?" start giving way to "Why are they tormenting me so?" and "Where should I have dinner after this?" The characters are poorly developed with the judgmental protagonist being the most ordinary of them all. Will Smith has acted well, so too have most of the actors, but there's only so much lipstick you can put on a pig. Gabriele Muccino's direction fails to come even close to the magic of 'Happy-ness' and the movie's meandering dialog and uni-dimensional plot fail to engross you at any point . The teary-eyed characters are a constant reminder to your own emotional pain while watching the movie.
One-line review: Slow, boring and entirely missable. Donate ticket money to charity instead.
http://daily-humor.blogspot.com/2009/02/seven-pounds-review.html
Kabul Express (2006)
Daily Humor Review
The moral of the story seems to be Imran Khan Afridi's transition to a friendly old man from an aggressive old fart, showing how we assume even good people to be bad sometimes just based on stereotypes. Another parallel moral seemed to be that reporters can do nothing in war torn situations. That was quite a learning for me.
I will take the first moral of the film and apply it to my film watching the next time. Even a relatively decent sounding movie can be the equivalent of silent suffering. The only surprising part of the movie experience was how the uncle next to me who was wreaking of cheap whiskey managed to stay up through the duration of the movie. My friend, who hadn't had a drink certainly couldn't.
My rating: 2.5 on 10 More on: http://daily-humor.blogspot.com/2006/12/journey-on-kabul-express.html