Change Your Image
Sjark
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Fallout (2024)
It's the end of the world and we know it
Having played most of the games, I went in expecting more "halo"esque content, virtue signalling to the usual people who won't be watching because too many white people or whatever bonkers things goes through their minds, but slipping easter eggs from the actual game as breadcrumbs so we can all ignore our own amazon vault-tec feeding us our programming.
And it does indeed deliver all of that.
Whether it's the brotherhood cadet with pronouns everyone seems to respect because tolerance is really one of the building blocks of steel.. :P
Whether it's the shrewd business woman and her lesbian partner in filly who's basically the railroad for wayward enclave scientists.
Whether it's the rebranding of communism..
It's all there in it's self righteous glory.
That said though, the story is about Lucy, who was raised in a vault, with an apparent significant amount of inbreeding that doesn't seem to be touched upon too much, beyond "messing around with your cousins". Though it might explain her freakishly large eyes?
She has all the subtle hints at S. P. E. C. I. A. L, which suggests she's low S, mid P, lowish E, high C, low I, low A and maxed L. If you know, you know.
Her vault 33 is, allegedly, linked to two other vaults 31 and 32, and to combat inbreeding they import breeders from other vaults to carry on the american gene, so one day they can come out of the vaults and reclaim the surface.
But alas, this is a ploy of the villain/hero/visionary. Lee Moldaver, played by mediocre actress somethingsomething who cares, she's barely on camera. But she's super scary, everyone says so.. like the 3 times someone talk about her through the entire season..
What we do learn is that Lucy's dad, the overseer of vault 33, KNOWS HER, intimately.. so.. naturally he warns everyone.. oh no wait.. I guess the writers forgot, so he just neglected to tell anyone.. and gets a load of his dwellers killed and himself kidnapped so the plot can happen.
Naturally Lucy but also the most useless members of vault 33 survive.. somehow.. and suddenly has an effective security force.. somehow, and doesn't want to rescue her father, so with the help of her kissing cousin and confused looking brother she escapes the vault to go looking for him.
From then on it is.. somewhat chaotic where the show goes.
Maximus the storm trooper.. sorry brotherhood of steel cadet selling out his comrades the second he is free to, instantly falling for Lucy was uh... necessary for the cringy power armor scenes and needed to be tied together somehow. Also some gratuitous male nudity scenes inbetween. Gotta have those.
Cooper Howard AKA The Ghoul, hunting for the mcguffin because he has backstory reasons, really. His story isn't great to be honest, though the actor did what he could with the material. Easily the best character of the show.
It scrambles the lore from the games into whatever amazon wants, changing the entire canon from China dropping the bombs because the US was developing supersoldiers, to eeeeevil corporations dropping the bombs to kill the competition.. except it turns out all the vaults are factions competing... so .. uh... factions bad except when good, because that's... that's what the writers wrote.
Pitch meeting will have a field day with this..
Obliterated (2023)
This was actually good.. what did they do to netflix?
Ok, Shakespeare it is not, but as far as a easy action, comedy movie this is like a flash from the nineties.
It feels like they took a mix of A-Team, The Hangover and 24, and just went with it.. and by golly it works!
Ava Winters is believable as a top notch intelligence officer with a backstory, who goes the nearly the entire movie without panties, and half that again without a bra.. and it barely matters, because the character is just *moah* perfect, and not in a "spit in my mouth and like it or you're a mysogonist" kinda way.
Sadly Ferguson is the more "realistic" variant of a US intelligence officer.. but for 8 episodes, I was able to forget it. Kudos!
Chad McKnight is the raunchy Rambo-wannabe we all were in the eighties, and the chemistry with Ava is on fire.
Trunk is just delightful, how can you not like Trunk?
Lana Lerner is tech girl, with the best use of whipped cream this century.
Angela Gomez is the LGB that isn't actually suffocating, which in itself is unprecedented. Nothing remotely political about it. Alongside that she is a thoroughly enjoyable character.
Hagerty is the bomb guy who kinda sails through the movie and you just gotta love everything he does.
And the unsung hero of the show: Captain Paul Yung, absentee father and choppah pilot battling his demons in the most hilarious ways.
Main cast aside, the villains are quirky and good, in the best of ways. Russians do make the best villains, though the swede was a nice touch.
Story is reasonably predictable on the whole, but the little details that tie the story together is top notch artistic craftsmanship.
I hope this is more along what we can expect in the future, though experience says otherwise.
Secret Invasion: Harvest (2023)
And down below we go..
Was debating with myself whether to review this episode, because it was terrible, and can you really reiterate how terrible a show is from only 5 episodes?
Yes.. yes, you can, because Marvel is repeating the same mistakes that passes for storytelling in every single show now. You could turn it into a drinking game for every time men gets put down, to being the fathers, brothers or son of some significant Woman who made him into this "unique" character that must remember to give thanks to their matriarch.
Now.. you'd go blind from alcohol poisoning playing this game, so there's some advantages I suppose..
Constant misandry aside however, I can't review this episode riddled with plot holes without addressing the "secret safe lair" troupe marvel really loves doing. They did it in that other marvel movie with the chubby child with the magic bracelet, and they did it here.. Priscilla even made the point that for the house to appeal to him, it had to have the 3 things that mattered to him the most.. lots of privacy, lots of security and lots of light...
Apparently the light part took charge of the equation, as every single surface is GLASS. The walls are massive windows, and even the ceiling is indeed glass.
So it must be bulletproof right? The leader of S. H. I. E. L. D. wouldn't just have bought some glass at walmart and called it a day.. right?
Que the "surprise" assassins not needing even a plastic explosive to push down the super secure front door.. Giah already did that by gently pushing it open with her hands.. nay, let's just sweep in through the amazingly fragile windows so we can have a 2 gal fire fight defeat a swat like military force who got a drop on 2 people standing around marvelling over how amazing they both are in a literal glass house.. super easy, not even breaking a sweat..
There were other developments, but at this stage.. who even cares?
They'll rewrite the impact of it in another 20 minutes of screenplay, which is the average length of actual story per episode.
FUBAR (2023)
One character, ruins everything
Always been a fan of Arnold, backwards politics notwithstanding, so I was excited to see him back on stage.
Show is a dip into his 80's style of cinema, and I enjoy the nostalgia.
The cast is great, for the most part, whether it's the ex wife with a healthy libido and her Donny Juan , the inappropriate cuckoldry references, the goofy unprofessional tech wiz sidekick Barry, doctor Pepper and his crazy therapy sessions, and finally of course Emma, the daughter who owns every scene she's in, whether it is being a kickass agent, or following in her dads foot prints being a terrible spouse to her boyfriend Carter, who is just doomed..
Then.. there's the extra comic relief.. the kind that is there for zhe diverzity, namely Fortune Feimsters' "Roo": capital L Lesbian, math wiz, sniper, wing person and just black hole sun of the show, who gives a stellar effort in "Trying too hard" and getting nowhere. Whenever she's in a scene you just want it to end.. why.. why won't it end?!
Netflix just can't seem to commit, they had all the pieces to make up for their terrible choices and appeal to regular people, and they just had to "netflix" it.. It's a shame, it could have been great.
Enola Holmes 2 (2022)
Netflix Holmes
Netflix has a proven record of screwing up the sequel...
What ever will they come for next..
I wanted to like this movie, as I enjoy a good whodunnit, alas.. this is neither of those.
Enola gets a case of a missing girl, and shock of shocks it tangles with her brothers case.. again. Oh and we race swapped both Watson and Lestrade because that's the law of victorian era England.. Very diverse!
You'll spend most of the movie wondering which ever black woman is going to be the villain from the moment starstruck Sherlock states HE is a brilliant Man...
Honestly, he emphasizes the words like that..
As it turns out it's the 1st one you see who's being theatrically scolded by some flatfaced snob I can't even be asked to remember the name of, because what else could it possible be, and you spend the rest of the movie shouting at the screen while they are trying to piece the complicated puzzle together.
Me Time (2022)
Bland and unfunny
Always loved Wahlberg as well as Hart, but this one.. ooof.... not even a pro parent could love this baby.
Hart plays an obsessive stay at home dad with a lot of stereotypical parental friends that are snoozeworthy and barely worth describing, while his fabulous architect wife is the breadwinner that drags him along to obnoxious dinner parties with annoying hipster friends and collegues.
So.. naturally he gets insecure because he's whingy. God.. so whingy.
Enter Wahlberg, who plays Huck, a 20year old in a 44 year old mans body, who makes irresponsible choices and is the "fun" one.. dear god this show sets a really low bar for what is fun.
Wife goes away to visit her parents, so he gets some "me time". Which was cringy.. but it does provide you the first of 2 laughs of the show, as he strips down, turns on some unattractive erotica to.. pleasure himself, and we get a surprise visitor. That was actually funny.
Had to hold on to that one for a while, because laughs are not aplenty in this dumpster fire..
Eventuelly he reconnects with his old pal Huck, played by Wahlberg, to celebrate his birthday..? I'm not sure, it's just a bunch of annoying two dimensional hipsters you'd want to get eaten by a mountain lion.. alas.. did not happen.
Some shennanigans follow, mostly involving rubbing body parts on food stuff.. mixed in with a lot of dad jokes. Seems the movie struggled to find that balance, so it decides to just accept the bland mediocrity and go with it.
I laughed a second time with Harts character picks up a lion cub, whilst taking a dump.. yeah.. that went predictably bad. Sadly, from there on it's predestined to be go down a route of awful.
Fast forward to the end, wholesome life lessons are learned, Harts wife, whose name I can't even remember, starts her own business and is one of the worlds finest architects.. don't ask, she just is, hart and wahlberg starts a childrens party organizer business because.. reasons and everyone lived happily ever after.
Me Time was an abyssmal waste of time that I will never get back, with bland two dimensional characters you won't care one bit about. The children act like adults, the adults act like teenagers, and teenagers are hookers.
Is this what comedy will be like from now on?
What Is a Woman? (2022)
What is reality?
Mainly just watched snippets on social media 1st, and the usual suspects popped out from under their rocks which is useless. So I subbed to dailywire to see it for myself. Absolutely worth it!
It is a good documentary, albeit a little closer to comedy most of the time due to the unhinged spokespeople willing to speak on camera, until you get a bit of background on Alfred Kinsey and John Money, the architects of our current discussion, who were.. awful, just awful people, who experimented on kids before it became popular culture to do so.
And if that doesn't bother you, my claim is there is something missing in you if you look at the interview with Scott Newgent about their experience, and simply dismiss it as transphobic, and you lack the capacity for basic human empathy, and very likely would get along famously with Money & Kinsey.
Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill (2022)
Et tu Bill
I've always enjoyed Bill Burr, but this.. thing.. was just terrible.
I don't know if it was just the californian audience choking comedy, forcing everyone to be hilariously unfunny to appease EVERYONES sensibilities and repeat CNN talking points .. not unfunny enough to reach around for an ironic laugh, but it did feel a bit like a hostage video.
Don't waste your time watching this garbage! Make my sacrifice of doing so.. like I watched the actual full thing, count for something!
Vikings: Valhalla (2022)
Vikings if vikings were in fact californians
Ai.... where to even begin.. let's just get it out of the way.. the black jarl..
Nope. Sure raiders and traders wandered far, but a black jarl is about as likely as a chinese zulu chieftain. It's there to show diversity, and indeed vikings kept many different ethnicities as SLAVES.. some elevated to free folk, but no.. not a single jarl, king or queen, to this day.
Then on to the feminism.. yup, of course there is. Women are to be reverred, every. Single. One. There are no contemptible women, like there are men, they're simply not allowed to be. They'll be in control during sex, poised in conflict, infallible during combat and ever tolerant of the rather large amount of male feminist vikings, which vikings ofc famously was.. not so much, same as the english. The actual vikings show had a MUCH Better grasp of the concept, than these clowns.
The combat is nice and gruesome, so nothing to say about the choreography, but the makeup is dire. Everyone are REMARKABLY clean, even by modern standards, and whoever cleans the longhouses and boats must have some kind of OCD, because everything is as spotless as a mafia murder scene..
They do make an effort to look grimy from time to time, but it is done by some germophobe who has never enacted with dirt their entire life.
Watch it for the battles, everything else is just trash.
Y: The Last Man: Karen and Benji (2021)
The abyss is staring back at you..
So, after 3 episodes of being terrible, they're doubling down.
The black unaccountable super agent, who's debut was seducing a man to gain his confidence as a bomb maker, and then blowing him up with the buyers, complains that.. and this is comedy gold..
"It would be nice to get the benefit of doubt.."
This is also the same lady who sabotaged a helicopter killing 2 patriotic pilots who trusted her, just in case they gossip like women about the manbaby I guess?
But I'm sure they'll all turn out to be nazis or something..
So basically, what remains of humanity will be some 3 billion moderately useless women that oversee their civilization collapse in under a week, psychopathic people and a monkey. And the monkey is probably insane too.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Could have been really good. Wasn't scary.
Conceptually interesting, how theology can make you rationalize turning your friends and family into vampires, or just eat them.
But the execution.. oh my.. the lengthy monologues are the killer.
I enjoyed the AA meetings between pastor dracula and drunken son, it added something to it because it was an exchange of thought, the processing of pain and guilt.
But the monologue upon monologue about "what happens when you die".. way too heavy on the foreshadowing, and I was just hoping miss carriage would just die in the end and shut up about the "I am" thing.
This was NOT profound, it was tedious.
Sheriff Sharif backstory was incredibly cringy and forced.. muslims were after all the real victims of 9/11, and naturally the NYPD are just the biggest racists.. you just have to retreat to an obscure island where everyone is extremely religious... though I do like Kohli as an actor.. it was weird seeing him in such utter shite. He should probably fire his agent.
And then there are the plot holes.. my god.. we can see rollergirl and altarboy escape at the end, and they are both "chosen", so as an afterthought she says she can't feel her legs, because the infection has magically gone away, as foreshadowed by doctor lesbian that it would "just go away, at least that's what I hope".. I already forgot her name, you do not get invested in the characters, at all. Anyway, without that there would be a massive plot hole with the 2 survivors simply passing it on, but plot armor trumps everything I suppose.
And the "angel", presumably over a thousand years old, probably more.. dumb as a doornail. Oh, this lady is cutting my wings, oh well, I'll have another sip. Also, this is the same "angel" that shrugged off shotgun fire, but a kitchen knife, that will fuck you up for good!! I bet it was from IKEA..
Then there's the scorched island robbing the zombies of their hiding places. You know a good way to avoid sunlight.. there are rowing boats all over the island, tip one over and voila! Protected from sunlight. Hell, even evil dog killer lady had the right idea at the end trying to dig a hole.. but no, everyone just burst out in song, which is in stark contrast to how they only hours ago literally killed themselves and each other to be reborn.. guess they just.. changed their minds, like you do..
Which is probably the same thing I should have done before watching this very long but fiery monologue.
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
An honest to god good movie
Jojo is a 10yearold boy, who lives alone with his mother near the end of WWII, his father is fighting for the fatherland in Italy, and his imaginary friend is an uncharacteristically wholesome Hitler that helps him cope with everyday life in a world that makes no sense.
Naturally this has caught lot of peoples panties in a twist, as the plot can be difficult to fathom if all you have to distinguish in the world is Good and Bad, much like the nazis in the movie simply see the world through a lens of nazism and enemies of nazism.. I know who that reminds me of.. we've seen them the last 5 years demonizing their political enemies to the point violence against them is socially acceptable, nay encouraged, they are, after all, irredeemable deplorables and should be shunned from polite conversation and the public sphere!
This is a mirror held up at the totalitarian minded people of today, you might wear a different band, and your salute might be a fist, but the ideals of social control are the same,.
The Us that is flawless, and the Them that is evil, whose minds are controlled by the devil, and you'll find them in abundance trying to downplay the significance of the movie applying the single star rating because they either hate it or fail to understand it, much like Jojo.
Sadly, the irony will be lost on them.
The plot of the movie is uncomfortable, Jojo is an eager member of the hitler youth, which is portrayed similar to american camp lifestyle, with councillors who are there to prepare them for adulthood.
So for boys to become men to (urgently) fight and die for the fatherland and girls to make beds and learn how to make babies.. "what a time to be a woman!", and it's very tongue in cheek perfectly executed.
Jojo is revealed to be a coward, and is bullied by the older boys when he refuses to kill a rabbit, and this is where the title comes from, Jojo Rabbit.
He runs away and is comforted by Imaginary Hitler, who does not see rabbits as a cowardly animal, but one that thrives despite its fuzzy demeanour. This drives him into a frenzied and unfortunate engagement with a hand grenade and his days prepping to die for the fatherland is cut short, leaving him scarred and somewhat crippled, and spending more time at home.
But he is a curious boy, and stumbles across marks on the floor in his deceased sisters room, revealing a hidden chamber behind the walls where he meets Elsa, the jewish girl his mother has been hiding from him.
And this is where the real story of the movie begins.
Naturally being indoctrinated by society he is initially hesitant to engage with the Jew, which makes for some interesting cat and mouse play, where jojo invariably plays the reluctant mouse. Elsa is no fool, and the chemistry between them is something to behold!
He can't confront his mother about it, because he is not supposed to know she is there, and he doesn't want his mother to get into trouble with the gestapo, as his father left him in charge to take care of her, which he takes very seriously.. and we are painted a very clear picture for what happens to traitors of the fatherland..
This takes us on a journey of discovery, as his prejudice of the jew is undressed, and they develop an unorthodox friendship, him during the day working for the jugend spreading propaganda for the Party, and spending his free time covertly pumping her for information of the Jew, which is simply adorable as she gleefully shares her devilishly imaginative secrets with him, that he eats up like the trusting child he is, and puts in his little book with graphic detail inbetween hating on Nathan, his rival and ultimate accomplice.
Jojo Rabbit is a highly unorthodox coming of age movie, rich in subtle detail, excellent scenery, great music and timeless wisdom, and anyone with a semblance of love for freedom should watch it!
Loki (2021)
Either really good, or truly terrible.. time will tell.
Ignore the 10/10 1/10 reviews, they'll love or hate it for culture war reason either way.
As for the actual show.
We start off with Loki picking up the tesseract and escaping his timeline. Landing him in ancient mongolia, where he is picked up by the time police because.. reasons.. You see unlike the avengers his time travel, due to their time travel, was criminal.. and that's that, don't ask, just accept.. sssh sssh go to sleep, it makes perfect sense!
Anyway, glaring plot hole aside, he gets arrested and manhandled by strong women of color and sentenced to reset (presumably death), but saved by a dotting time police inspector who thinks he can be used to capture The VILLAIN. Of course there's a villain and boy is it mind boggling.. so surreptitious so.. mysterious.. nope, it's Loki!
Presumably the foreshadowed female Loki, but that's just my guess.
Anyway, after a bit of tiresome soul searching and torture of previous black strong woman, because hilarious, we seem to hit an impasse where he will finally play ball, albeit probably to backstab them in the future. Time will, no pun intended, tell.
After suffering through Legend of Tomorrow, which is awful.. don't watch it.. just don't! Trust me, it is terrible, despite a cool premise. Shows that dabble in time travel.. they tend to suck with the current regime.. they didn't use to, but now they tend to be god awful dumpster fires.
I'd keep an eye on it though. Maybe this one will break the chain.
Lucifer: A Chance at a Happy Ending (2021)
Glorious!
Frankly at this stage of cinematic history, I expected the cancerous critical race theory to smother this show, as it has many others.. especially the cop shows.
But I was wrong.. the show has managed to maneuver these traitorous waters largely unscathed and come up as an example to any future productions that there is still hope for the arts. Just.. don't suck, it can be done!
5B has been a delight to watch, and the finale the cherry on top. We all knew where it was headed, but the journey to the final scene was such a ride.
We cried, we laughed, we suffered and rejoiced alongside the characters that have come so far; from the literal bowels of hell to the celestial throne.
Amenadiel is a father, once distant from humanity through his powers over time.. unable to leave everything he self actualized to shelter from, meaningfully choosing the mortal realm over divinity
Maziqueen (too good), once a sadistic torturer find love and accidentally a soul, only through enduring heart wrenching pain of her own.
After all you can't have joy, without the fear of loss, and frankly her journey has been what's touched me the most of this entire show. True redemption.
Ella, still have some bones to grow on, her darkness unexplored, but she is excellent supporting cast. I kept hoping she'd be brought in on the cosmic scale, but I suppose it makes sense that her relationship to religion remains faith based.. as she puts it, that's entirely the point, and she wouldn't change a thing.
Dan.. he was great.. and the loss of the character leaves a great hole you didn't even realize would be there.. until it was, and it was devastating in that waiting room, as everyone had different ways of reacting.. so very much in character, especially when Trixie comes in asking where her father is.. So relatable to anyone who's lived a little. Terrible, for all the right reasons, and excellent across the board. That girl is going places.. it's a shame she was only in a few scenes.
Chloe, love interest for the devil, struggling with her own demons of abandonment and mattering, ultimately the most important human in the universe, whether mother, daughter friend or lover. She really spread her wings this season, showing emotional depth that was frankly lacking previous seasons. She has been nothing short of phenomenal.
Lucifer. The fallen one.. what can I say? Tom Ellis was born for this role, I mean.. he sings, he dances, he grieves, he makes you snort milk out your nose.. what can't he do?
He just leaves us craving MORE!!
Lucy's gone from the snubbed playboy man whore with daddy issues, to the rebel we all want to be, who bends the rules, not just because he wants to.. he revels in it, but because, for the right reason.. love, it is the right thing to do.. and occasionally it can save us from despots and hellscapes..
And the farewell scene with god was touching, with god finally being free to admit he loves his son.. a bit overdue, but all the more satisfying, something lucifer had been craving since before the rebellion against heaven. Perfect execution!
Linda, the reasonable adult in the room. Finally got her moment with her wayward daughter, which was lovely, she is however the glue that keeps everyone else interesting. Without her the processing of complicated family and existential matters would go unnoticed, and in a way she narrates the entire story, despite the characters best efforts to derail everything, and it never fails to entertain.
Charlie, needs more lines, and keeps falling over.
Really can't wait for season 6.. thankfully production is complete, so hopefully it won't be too long..
Walker: Pilot (2021)
Slow burn
I went in not knowing anything about the reload, and having grown up with the original, so.. not that high expectations to be honest. Some karate guy with a moustache and a hat about sums the original for me.
But Walker 2021 actually got in under my skin. It isn't, as other reviewers rightly claim, really a crime series. At least not yet, not really.
There's an origin story, that isn't hashed out yet, but the crime of the day was kind of "meh" and a side note, with very little investment from the writers.
The majority of the plot is balancing work and family, alongside grief, with negligible action from both Jared and Lindsey. No need for any skilled stuntmen any time soon..
There's a lot of room for improvement, but I'll still tune in for the next episode!
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Life is too short.. if you loved Wonder Woman, steer clear of this.. thing..
I went in, expecting something akin to the 1st Wonder Woman movie, which was probably the best super hero movie the last decade. It was so good!
And someone just had to go and make.. this..
From the get go, you get force fed this travesty plot of a movie, with chubby toddler Diana, maybe 10 years old, outperforming grown amazons, presumably in their prime, and is "held back" because she took a shortcut and doesn't "deserve to win", because "lies are never worth it!" kinda like this movie.. something more people should perhaps take to heart, like whoever greenflagged this movie, and Gadot's agent perhaps?
Fast forward to 1984 she shimmies around, fighting exclusively white men committing really inept crime and for some reason consistently saving children who just pop into existence, just for that "aaaww" as she swings her lasso in old and familiar ways. Seriously.. every major scene, semi sentient kids appear, playing in traffic like they have a death wish.. and she just won't let them, despite their best efforts.
But woe.. not only is she immortal, gorgeous, smart, successful, stylish and filthy rich.. nay.. she is a real victim.. for her one true love died years ago, and she lives in a luxurious tomb to commemorate him, because.. issues. Let's not explore it, it could add bothersome character!!
This is just nailed in by Barbara Minerva, who is somewhat of a babe hiding her beauty behind big round glasses, because they're magic and hides her perfect teeth and hourglass body, and is of course clumsy and belittled by the menfolk that are all awful and/or pitiful, take your pick, or both. Everyone is awful, and that's ok, because that's what the 80's were like, really!
Barbara wishes she could be like Diana, not knowing she's a demigoddess.. and she unwittingly takes on super human strength and of course does not wallow in self pity because it makes her life great, whilst still somehow retaining that bitter anger that mires the movie, because why not? Magic presumably!! Female rage is kind of a theme in the movie, let's not explore that. Women are just angry all of the time, in different ways!!!
She's technically supposed to be evil I suppose, but she's more comic relief.. especially after she grows a tail and flies around like an actor that was just too tacky for Cats. Naturally, being bad, she's ultimately smoked by Diana who's good.., and eventually realizes her mistake.. or does she? no, you won't care at this point either.. you just want it all to end!
Max.. oh Max.. well he's a villain.. of sorts, and wants power, and he has a son he wants to impress.. or not to be like him.. so naturally he goes around laughing maniacally and granting double edged wishes, so he can have all of the oil.. in the entire world, until he conveniently stumbles across his macguffin just when he needs it, a magic device that let's him talk to the entire world, and we get that oh so cringe finale, cats and all..
As far as villains go.. well.. this is a tv-movie level low. End of it all, after Diana lasso's her way into his bitter man heart, he realizes he's hurting the one person he actually cares about, and stops doomsday because magic, hijacks a helicopter and, again, magically teleports to where he needs to be at that exact time.
Little Alistair was hiding in the bushes all along, by that magic serendipity that spares us of a meaningful story, for the movies full 2h35m duration of your life you'll never ever get back...
Heed my advice, and save it for meaningful things like warning people from watching this rubbish.
oh and WW can fly now, because flying is simple really.. because air.
Don't be a bigot, it's meaningful!!
The Good Doctor: Frontline, Part 2 (2020)
I loved this show
And then came 2020..
I used to love this, myself being on the spectrum, seeing representation albeit mixed quality was refreshing, and the story was just sappy enough.
But this season.. dear god.. the covid focus has been suffocating the show.
It gives some of the actors, that can't act.. looking at you Christina Chang.. the chance to act like they don't want to be there, and boy do they deliver.
The lines are as dry as someone reading from a teleprompter, the overlap of true stories of the toll covid has on every day life.. it is conveyed in the enthusiasm of an 80's "don't take drugs" infomercial.
That's what the show is now, a sub par infomercial, trying to cram as much ideology as they can into 40 minutes, even slipping in a BLM tribute because.. well why not.
This gives me terrible concern where other shows are going.. like the rookie and brooklyn nine-nine, who are no longer permitted to show police officers in a positive or humanizing light.. I predict much brokeness!
The Great (2020)
Quaint and silly
No masterpiece by any means, but the dialogue is witty, the delivery is good, but why they felt the need to diversify the cast of a largely slavic country with african and indian lords and ladies in the early 1700's is lost on me.
It does not add anything to the plot or anything. At least Voltaire remained a white man.. there is that..
It is good, but it could have been excellent.
Iliza Shlesinger: Unveiled (2019)
Hadn't heard of her until now..
And got a big fat downvote from me. 1h 15 minutes, I smiled 6 times, snorted a laugh twice. It lacks edge, and reeks of stuckup moralism. If that's what I wanted, I'd call my parents, not watch a netflix comedy special.
The Mandalorian (2019)
Disney took a note from biowares' The Old Republic
And The Old Republic got it all right.. they had the brilliant smuggler story, and the cringe that it turns out the jedi stories generally are, which brought the light on the more interesting stories, the sith villains by all means, but also the more beautifully subtle character of the imperial agent, and in our case; the mercenary bounty hunter. The latter, clearly the inspiration of The Mandalorian, right down to his ship and armor. Neither good nor evil, simply living by an honor code, whether personal.. or as it turns out clan.
I am exhilerated where this might lead Disney, as this is taking from the star wars lore in a way that isn't at the same time gleefully pissing into it.. like what they did to Luke Skywalker and the blue milk scene..
I like The Mandalorian, I really do.. it's not technically a 10/10 for me, but they need the indicator, that they're on the right track towards perhaps redeeming the franchise. Don't let me down.. again!
Watchmen (2019)
Yay.. more woke rape of a franchise
And it's garbage. The lighting is very good, but the overall acting, the script is a newfound level of cringe.
Nope, garbage about sums it up.
Evil: Rose390 (2019)
Paternal misery
A 9 year old boy, Eric, exhibits psychotic tendencies, but it actually feels like more of a backstory, to the real plot of the episode, which starts innocently with grandma bouchard getting a couple alternative reality goggles for her grandkids.
Might be a poke at the gaming industry granting adult content to minors, and the creepy men that prowl the internet.. or women, who knows, we never find out.
In this alternative reality they access an "adult game" as the girls put it, with the impressively realistic gory vr horrors; spiders, decapitated ladies and whatnot.
Eventually they magically connect to the "world wide web" (dear god the nerd in me recoiled at the low end technical expertise of the show), and immediately Rose390 wants to join, and the girls let him/her in, because apparently their psychotherapist/inquisitior mom never warned them about stranger danger.
Anyway, Rose invites them into a "hidden level" via "the board". Ouijaboard ofc.. and they all merrily summon the devil together, because that's what one does on the internet.
Ben the magnificent interrupts their little ritual and turns on the child filter, and gives the pedo a piece of his mind as he sends the girls to admit their sin to the mom.
Return to eric story for a bit, and David connects to him about their shared interest in comics, and proposes he finds guidance from god.. Because nothing cures crazy better than religion as we all know, and he merrily moves along thinking that helped.
Back to the story, the girls now bound by the child filter has discarded the goggles, but Rose hasn't given up, and logs on their goggles remotely, waking the 2 older sisters, offering to disable the kids filter, even though in a previous scene she insisted she couldn't interact with anything, only observe.
So she does, and pulls out the board suggesting they should find out what dear old dad is up to.. turns out he's actually in heaven.. and not guiding people to mt.Everest, according to rose anyway, and if you can't trust your internet paedo, who can you trust?
So naturally they run into moms bed, and press the issue, prompting mom to do the responsible thing, and lie to them, like any good parents would, even making a media message, and all is well again, because mother knows best.
Until the next day with the backstory, David is called to Erics' house to bond with the boy, only to find him praying to god while merrily drowning his baby sister, like david told him to.. or whatever makes sense to a psychopath that gets introduced to religious solutions.
David saves the baby, in a maneuver that would have squished any infant babies outside of the marvel universe, but again.. this show has no regard for science, or medicine as it turns out, and saves the day.
This rushes the need for an exorcism, only to be thwarted by erics' parents who apparently murdered him after the incident, despite knowing help is on the way, because after 2 years of this hell, they just couldn't risk one more day with him under lockdown.
The inquisitor trio pretty much gets an admission of guilt from the mom, and quietly lets her close the door in their sadfaces, as she turns to go lie to the police about murdering her 1st born along her husband. Don't ask, don't tell I guess.. David does spend the rest of the night praying to god to forgive everyone, because at least someone should know what's up.
Anyway, back to the story Kristen sits in front of the TV with the 4 little ones, and one of them asks if they can finish the game, or the ghosts will keep haunting them.. lying to their mom, who in turn lies to them saying she'll think about it, which brings us to what this episode was really about.
The things parents will do to protect their children.
Erics parents turned their home into a prison because they feared what either they or he would do to each other.. and eventually does, and Kristen can't quite contain the burden of lying to her children, despite knowing that it might be worse if they know daddy is indeed quite dead, so it's better to tell the pretty lie about him to buy herself time, and the episode ends with her hiding in the kitching sobbing uncontrollably trying not to give away her crippling grief to the laughing kids in the next room, and robbing them of their momentary joy, and perhaps innocence.
but the truth is coming.. what pray tell are in those journals Townsend is sitting on?
Probably the best episode so far, as far as plot movement goes, but it still has a long way to go in order get get a higher score from the critical reviewer.
The Big Bang Theory: The Inspiration Deprivation (2019)
Terrible television
Another unfunny episode, infantilizing the already beta male cast to a new low.
Amy gets a meltdown about how being the 4th woman to win the nobel prize is somehow more important than the advancement of science itself.. because well if she doesn't, it'll mean women everywhere will marry some loser man and do whatever else they want to do with their life and not pursue science because it interests them, and the patriarcy wins... that's honest to god basically the reasoning.
Meanwhile in the Wolowitz household the patriarcy isn't doing so well, with Howard being forced, yes forced, to cancel buying the scooter he wanted, because apparently he married his dominating mother, and they're both fine with that.
Thankfully this is the last season.
Young Sheldon: A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens (2018)
That final nail to it's science fans..
BBT is thankfully in it's swan song now, and all that will be left will be the awkward reruns of coupling the cast over and over, even though by the 3rd season we pretty much know where things were heading, down down down...
YS does persist however, and while the 1st season was enjoyable, the 2nd seems to be picking up the tone of poor quality, of the show it's spun off from.
As we struggle to feel Mary's crisis of faith, young Sheldon actually manages to take america 30 years back, and defends creationism, that with the make up of our planets tender balance for life, it's only logical to conclude there is a creator.. never mind that we _know_ it will end, thanks to actual science, and that there are millions of worlds that aren't inhabitable, for our form of life anyway.
But hey, science is just for a bunch of meanies trying to prove things!
Lilja 4-ever (2002)
Cruel
I hadn't seen any comments about this movie, only heard that "it was good". So, expecting something in the vicinity of Fucking Åmål, I watched it.. Incredibly unlike the warmth of that movie, Lilja 4ever rocked my world!! This movie is about a young unwanted girl, that gets ditched by her mother and stepfather(whom goes to America for the good life), and is left in Mother Russia under the negligent attention of a selfish aunt that kicks her out of her apartment and moves in herself, whilst Lilja gets confined to a tiny dirty apartment, who's former occupant died in. Lilja's a good christian girl, and is led astray to prostition. From then on Hell begins.
The movie does portray men as pigs, true.. but only the boy Volodja, and briefly a poorly educated and somewhat helpless social worker shows any real sign of humanity. So this isn't a movie about evil men in particular. Just humanity in general, at its very worst. The swedish familiyman pretending Lilja was his daughter, before sodomizing her will probably haunt me for a while.
The World is sick, and this movie insistently reminds us.