funnybonez6 Reviews

District 9 (2009)

Not half bad

[15 October 2011]

"District 9" was better than I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be another run of the mill Hollywood production. That's not the case. This is a clever package harking back to the sci-fi films of the 1950s. Maybe it's a tribute to those old b movies from the 50's and early 60s? I don't know, but I did find it suspenseful for most of the time.

The story is basically about aliens (insect like creatures) discovered in a weird spaceship hovering above Johannesburg South Africa. They are brought down by government forces under the MNU department, and put into a slum of sorts called District 9. They get incorporated into the fringes of society. But when they have to be cleared out of the area, things go haywire when they revolt. Not to bad all in all, basically it had what every good futuristic b movie has, an engaging story. The only issue i had with District 9 was the CGI effects of the "prawns", which left a lot to be desired. However I looked past that and could still enjoy the movie.

Reincarnation (2005)

J-horror, but not a very good one

[4/10 · 18 October 2009]

"REINCARNATION", another Japanese horror flick by the director of "THE GRUDGE". I went into this one with high hopes. It turns out to be a really unremarkable and pretty bland attempt to make another ghost story J-Horror. This comes from a fairly average fan of the Grudge series, both the remakes and the originals.

It's basically a pretty lame re-imagining of "The Shining". The main difference is that you have a film crew working in the hotel instead of a family staying there. The twist, which I won't reveal, was just way too predictable in my opinion, and did little to reward the 80 minutes I'd put into the movie. Last point I would say is that for even for a J horror flick, it's pretty slow-moving. There were a few creepy scenes, and the old film footage of the murders was done well, I admit, but overall it was not very scary and too slow to enjoy, IMO.

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Final.... Disappointment

[2/10 · 25 August 2009]

It's hard to believe that the director/writer of the original Final Destination made this awful third sequel. The original movie was a great new take on horror films. Unfortunately, this third installment is a huge disappointment. The only thing half-way good about it is the location of the amusement park. Besides that, there's nothing inventive or scary about it. The actors all suck, except for the lead girl Wendy, who is just okay. At least she's not as unlikable as the others. Unlike FD2, which was a good surprise, this was a really bad one. All the deaths are lame and uninteresting. I had high hopes after FD2 but this makes me not look forward to the upcoming 3D venture. Let's hope that's better.

Final Destination 2 (2003)

Take me to this destination

[8/10 · 25 August 2009]

FINAL DESTINATION 2 was a pleasant surprise. Needless to say, I had no expectations for a Hollywood sequel to be any good. However, this second installment of FD franchise nearly measured up to the first movie, and is at any rate, a decent follow up.

A.J. Cook does a pretty good job as Kimberly, who foresees the awful destruction in a multi-car pile-up. She has just the right mix of attractiveness and believability in the main character. As others have mentioned, the death "accidents" are fairly inventive (I won't spoil them by listing them) and this was the best surprise in the sequel. Even if the total final movie doesn't come across as anything "amazing", it's still a very fun watch, and much better than most sequels in every way.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Wolverine origins: erase memory after movie

[3/10 · 25 August 2009]

The first five minutes of "WOLVERINE" gave me some hope that this might be a cut above other action garbage out there. That hope was gone after 20 minutes.

To give credit where credit is due, there are a few pretty good action sequences, particularly the fight scenes between Wolverine and Victor Creed (Liev Shreiber surprisingly gives a great performance in this). The scene where Wolverine and Creed team up against Mutant X1 on top of the nuclear power plant was well done also. Another good scene was when the elderly couple helping Logan are killed in the barn.

The bad is everything else, like the whole unbelievable plot of the romance with his girlfriend Kayla. And especially bad was how the movie just descends into mindless explosions. The ending was terrible and pointless when Wolverine gets amnesia after the battle. It was frustrating and nearly ruined any good parts. At the end, I wanted Stryker to erase my memory too.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Gee Aye yi yi yi Joe

[2/10 · 25 August 2009]

GI JOE (2009) had far too many explosions and loud sound effects, and not enough coherent believable story. Okay, I know it's a comic book but it still has to be believable. The plot itself was okay. The whole thing about the nano-mites was intriguing. It was a kick-butt cool weapon, but the whole storyline of implanting the nano-mites inside humans made it dumb. They always take these plots too far till they become stupid and contrived. The acting was just average, at times laughable.

The best part about it, in my opinion, was Snake Eyes fighting Storm Shadow. Those were the two best characters. I wish there had been more of that going on. The two lead girls were nice for eye candy on screen, but little more.

Terminator Salvation (2009)

Salvation Terminated

[4/10 · 6 June 2009]

"Terminator: Salvation" directed by McG and starring Christian Bale, was a half-way decent movie because of some action scenes. But otherwise this movie was a waste of time.

Christian Bale seemed miscast as John Connor. He's a decent actor but he yelled too much. The biggest problem with "Terminator Salvation" is the absence of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The terminator series can't work well without him, in my opinion. He's sorely missed in this messy very loud movie. A generic robot can't replace Arnold , who defined the franchise. Overall while it wasn't the worst movie to waste 2 hours on, it didn't work up to the level of the Terminator series, not even close. 4/10

Star Trek (2009)

Star Trek made into Star Dreck

[2/10 · 6 June 2009]

I was a fairly dedicated fan of the 60's TV show (but not really the new series or the previous theatrical movies). However I was pretty disappointed in the envisioning of the new generation's star trek directed by JJ Abrams. The whole movie seems to be no better than a SCI-FI channel movie with bigger special effects.

There are too many plot holes to go into. The movie barely held together, nothing really worked well story-wise. The guy who played the young Spock was okay, but that was really the only noteworthy performance in the whole damn thing. Everybody else sucks. There were a couple of slightly decent action scenes, but the fight at the end was surprisingly lame and badly done. It was shockingly bad.

There's a cameo by Leonard Nimoy, but absent is the original TV series star, amazing William Shatner. He's nowhere to be found here, to his credit.

Angels & Demons (2009)

No Angels or Demons could make me watch it again!

[3/10 · 30 May 2009]

"Angels and Demons" by Ron Howard is a very bland movie. Tom Hanks is okay as Robert Langdon, but even he can't save a very confusing and uninteresting story and script. The script seems to cater to the dumbest common denominator. You cannot follow the story in an intelligent way, it's too messy and chaotic. I have not read the book, so I assume it's just the movie. It preaches to us that science and religion can coexist happily. That in itself could be an interesting idea, but the way it's done is as if the filmmakers are talking down to us, the audience like we're idiots.

Although I've seen a lot worse movies, they probably didn't cost as much to make. The visuals are okay, and there are even some inspired action scenes, but in the end it's all forgettable. By the time you get to the big twist that Camerlengo is the bad guy, you don't believe the film anymore. That's too bad. The best part about the movie is the assassin who is believable and scary person.

Hit and Run (2009 Video)

Psycho-chiller

[7/10 · 30 May 2009]

"Hit and Run" is one of those films that has thrills and scares the spectator really well when it works. Some of the action sequences are exhilarating, especially toward the end and especially for a low-budget horror flick. The scenes in the dark woods were good. I only wish the part with her tied to the bumper as the car drives crazy through the night would have gone on longer. The story is pretty tight and if you don't like a lot of padding in the story, this one is pretty straightforward, with a couple of good twists here and there. A mood of paranoia and uneasiness to boot for 84 min, fairly short and sweet.

Laura Breckenridge was a surprisingly effective scream queen (and she looks great in wet clothes). Chris Shand as the loser boyfriend, and of course the bad guy nut-case freak Kevin Corrigan (The Departed, Goodfellas) as the deranged psycho. Overall, I'd say while this had some quirky unexplainable moments, it had what I basically look for in a horror movie, some gore, scares and suspense.

Mirrors (I) (2008)

Mirrors a confusing mess

[2/10 · 15 May 2009]

At the start, I had high hopes that this would be a cut above other horror movies currently out. That didn't turn out to happen. After about ten minutes the movie got really slow and unnecessarily complicated. Keifer Sutherland is okay as the protagonist, but other than that, most of the players really suck.

There are a few decent visual tricks with the mirrors, but they can't make up for the stupidity of the story. At the end, when the nun is left in the room of mirrors and her face explodes I thought that would over, but instead it just keeps going and she becomes some kind of stupid CGI demon. It becomes totally ridiculous and unwatchable at that point. The ending was also lame. It's too bad because this movie could have been so much more, instead of something so dumb.