jaredd Reviews

Ultraviolet (2006)

(Unrated version review) I really liked many aspects

[8/10 · 8 May 2024]

The 1, 2 and 3 star reviews are objectively absurd. The film is just not THAT bad. The range of reasonableness is realistically between 4 and 8 depending on taste.

Personally, I give it an 8 because I thought there were a lot of "cool" vibes from the style, tech, weapons, world, etc. There just aren't really any other films that are like this, in my opinion. I liked the color changing clothing & hair and when Violet pulls out her sword in the well room scene for example.

Ultimately, I do agree that the writing and dialogue generated some cringe moments. Some of the supporting actors said their lines like they were reading them off a teleprompter.

Who knows what was really going through the minds of the editors at Screen Gems, but I do think there must have been some reason for them to cut the film this way. And ultimately for me, I still enjoyed the ride due to the good stuff that made it through. Maybe some day we'll get a director's cut...

Conan O'Brien Must Go (2024– )

Lots of fun, but too long in some places...

[7/10 · 21 April 2024]

As others have mentioned, some portions felt like they went on too long. Were they trying to pad the episode to meet the length requirement? Or was it a conscious decision in order to make things seem awkward? Well, either way, it didn't always quite come out right in my opinion.

Beyond that, no argument from me that some stuff was funny and seeing various locations and meeting people is interesting. You can tell some of the fans didn't work out so well as their screen time was cut drastically. Which I suppose is bound to happen.

In some portions the only plan seems to be to try to offend people or be outlandish, but Conan is a seasoned comedian and shouldn't have to always do that in order to make humor. So that seemed like the biggest negative. But comedy is subjective and can be difficult, so it's also understandable.

That's My Jam (2021– )

100% fake, but isn't that obvious?

[6/10 · 16 January 2024]

OK, rating this a 1 or 2 or a 10 is just stupid. It's clearly filler material for the channel, and the celebs probably don't even get paid. Their payment is getting more screen time and something for their agent to talk about when trying to convince the casting director that they are "likeable" and "approachable" or whatever. Am I wrong? Who knows.

Yes, the premise of the show is obviously a joke, as the celebs are thrown softballs constantly, clearly only doing things they are already good at. And they've also obviously rehearsed the performances.

Furthermore, the scoring also means nothing, as you could win all previous rounds but still lose everything in the next. I can understand their pain, since you can't have an untouchable score and still have the show go on (and not lose viewers). But maybe a better format would be that they win increasingly better prizes along the way instead?

Some of the real singing performances were decent. Respect.

Ultimately, if your favorite celeb is on, it's fun to watch them doing something different and probably having fun at the same time. After all, they are "human" too, haha...

The Family Plan (2023)

Rough Middle Section

[7/10 · 17 December 2023]

I liked the beginning but almost bailed during the middle section when things got a bit slow among other major gripes. I took a day off and picked it back up and made it to the final third which had a bit more to chew on. I was on board at that point and things got at bit more fun and interesting, relatively speaking.

I think the idea with this film was to try to repeat the success of Instant Family, which was a great film. The cliché is you never know until you try and in this case The Family Plan tried and came up a little bit short but I still liked it.

There were some decent performances in this film, although not from Mark. I'm not sure what happened, but he seemed zoned out during this. Maybe he was busy managing the film and not focusing on his acting? A subjective thought, perhaps.

Ultimately the film wraps things up nicely with some feel-good scenes.

One major flaw I will point out is that the film seems to be leaning towards the family-friendly direction, but has various aspects that will not work for most families. Quite a shame, because the message is reasonably good and with just a tiny bit of editing this would have been a fun family night film for even younger teens. As-is, it's more older teen and adult. Probably depends on whether you're raising the next generation that will build up society or try to tear it down...

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)

Has Aged VERY Well!

[10/10 · 11 December 2023]

With all that we know about Billy Mitchell now, this film is unbelievably poignant, interesting and relevant. Honestly, all the other reviewer's comments mean nothing at this point based on the facts that have come out since this was made, particularly in the second half of 2023.

The fact is that Steve was the record holder and Billy Mitchell was and still is a complete fraud and a fake. There is simply no other conclusion to be made from the facts that are point blank in your face and readily available now in December of 2023.

Billy Mitchell is probably going to go down in history as the most famous fraudulent gamer. Todd Rogers is only a sorry little man with fake scores that finally caught up with him, but Billy Mitchell is also a downright sadistic, evil person who is never going to admit that he's a fake and a fraud and will burn down everyone's life in order to avoid having to face the music.

Ultimately, this film is a clear reminder about how important facts are and how easily so many people can be duped and convinced about something being true, despite it being 100% false. This is so important today with our click-happy media as well as online posters who push certain narratives as fact in order to sway the masses. So do your research, kids!

Lego Masters: Bricks & All (2023) Season 4, Episode 10

Will Filler

[3/10 · 8 December 2023]

I suppose someone somewhere thought this episode would be better than just having dead air, but that is just old-time thinking. I don't know anybody who watches over the air TV anymore. And we know all these episodes were filmed and edited a long time ago. So what is the point??

With regard to the content in the episode, it's basically Will Arnett doing voice-over on what I'm guessing is a random person's list of favorite moments from past seasons. I already find Will to be annoying as host, even though I like him fine enough otherwise. And I would have killed to have some exclusive content such as some interviews with the BrickMasters or maybe some check ins with some of the past winners to see what they're up to. The only part I found watchable was the lie detector test which I thought was somewhat funny.

Let's break this down further. If you're a fan of the show, you'd already have seen all of this past episode stuff, and so you'd be disappointed that it isn't another new episode. If you're NOT a fan of the show, there is no way that you're going to tune in anyway, for the reason I mentioned earlier which is that nobody really randomly tunes in these days. We set our DVR or fire up a streaming service and watch what we want.

So on multiple levels this episode was terrible and a waste of my time. Time I could have spent doing other things. And I wouldn't have had to waste even MORE time writing this review to bash the producers...

Pivoting (2022)

Random and somewhat crazy

[5/10 · 27 November 2023]

They should call the show Train Wreck instead of Pivoting, because that would make a lot more sense.

Right out of the gate the problems started with the first episode which I felt did a very poor job of setting up the premise. I had to watch it a second time with the subtitles on just to keep track of the names involved and to make sense of what they were going on about. Even then it was very weak. They probably should have rolled the clock back a bit more so we get an idea of where everyone is coming from.

After about half way through the season things were more locked in, but even at that point it just went from one somewhat outlandish scene to another. I don't think that works very well, because it's just so one-note. If they would have played it straight except for one portion of each episode, it may have worked better.

Not sure what the point of Maggie Q's character is, very monotone and not plausible. Also, Maggie's much better in serious roles, unfortunately. Eliza is Mrs. Motor Mouth and I grew tired of her even before this show started. Ginnifer Goodwin on the other hand is blowing me away with the great acting and facial expressions and her plot lines are better than the other two, IMHO.

Linoleum (2022)

Ultimately just a waste of time for me...

[4/10 · 14 November 2023]

I do think marketing could have been better with this film, as I was hoping for some science fiction revolving around time travel or alternate realities. But no, it's not that, and I won't say more to avoid having the click the "spoilers" radio button.

So with that in mind the film is going to be a let-down if you also were expecting that.

Is the film a one or two or nine or ten?? NO, you can ignore those reviewers as that is crazy town. The film has some tender redeeming aspects but also isn't anything amazing either. I think I could have given it a six or seven if they would have left out all the slooow filler junk that pretended to be science fiction but wasn't or the overused social commentary regurgitation. You don't get points for being lazy.

Seriously, nobody cares about your sexual orientation any more. Stop trying to make everything in your life about that. Suppose I approach everyone I meet and beat them over the head with my model train hobby until they embrace the distinction between "scale" and "gauge"??? Yeah, lots of fun for everyone...

Anyway, the first third of the film was somewhat interesting, the middle third was nap time and the final third was depressing because by then there was really nothing left other than to just spell it all out for the slow folks in the audience.

Stitchers (2015–2017)

Started out good...

[5/10 · 13 November 2023]

The early episodes were pretty good as we got to enjoy a decent amount of science fiction and adventure. But things went downhill eventually and we fell into the typical teen angst, will-they-won't-they, and social commentary fluff.

It would be interesting to get inside the writer's and producer's brains, because this seems to be a common issue. I suspect the core people involved with launching the show couldn't handle the thought of things changing. "This was my idea, don't mess with it!" The show had some amazing opportunities to transcend what it started out as, but no, we get the mindless garbage instead.

Jon and Lucy's Odd Couples (2023)

Have Reasonable Expectations...

[8/10 · 7 November 2023]

I'm not sure why the negative reviewers are expecting this to be comedy gold. It's clearly a low-budget show where they probably filmed everything in a couple days and the participants were given lunch as payment. It's something to fill in the gaps on the schedule...

But even then I got a kick out of some of the interactions where you could tell there was some fun going on. If you're a fan of the people involved, then you can just sit back and watch them do their thing. I mean you have some relatively popular couples, such as Rachel Riley and Pasha Kovalev, Kimberly Wyatt and Max Rogers, and Marcus Brigstocke and Rachel Parris for example.

It seems that some reviewers act like they are forced to watch things with a g%n to their head. If you don't like the people involved or the show's formula, then go watch something else. Why even tune in and then write silly reviews about your terrible experience?

If the show gets renewed, I hope we get more comedy couples. I'd love to see Jimmy Carr with his wife Karoline Copping or Joe Wilkinson and his wife, Petra Exton. I'd be glued to the telly for sure...

FUBAR (2023– )

We've lost our way...

[4/10 · 12 June 2023]

The tone of this show is completely wrong. They went for the comic relief path instead of taking things seriously. It just doesn't work in my opinion. For example, we are apparently supposed to be in awe of the characters, but instead they come across as unlikable idiots.

Specifically, we have the current popular trend of just shoving down our throats wholesale that women are just the best at everything, no exceptions, even physical tasks despite the fact that in this case the female lead is clearly a twig and also too mentally unstable to be around.

I think the people who like this show are either on board with the above madness or are able to block it out mentally. I'm not. This would be like trying to get me to enjoy watching perpetual motion or flat earth videos on Youtube despite my decades of engineering studies. It just isn't possible...

Emily the Criminal (2022)

Good

[9/10 · 10 October 2022]

Aubrey, the dramatic actress... Honestly, this is one of the best films I've seen this year, bravo.

All those years of making faces on Parks and Recreation has paid off!

Just kidding, I watched that show from the beginning and she was great back then too.

This film reminded me a little bit of Peppermint. It's fun watching a woman tear things up, although there is more to it than that.

My main gripe with "Emily the Criminal" was the ending. It really doesn't seem to make a lot of sense after the events of the film. It's perhaps a step backwards, as if nothing was really learned. Yes, it sort of wraps things up in a neat package, so to speak, but I felt it could have been written to have a little more impact. A lost opportunity and left me wanting a little more.

Moonfall (2022)

Houston, we have a problem, haha

[5/10 · 28 August 2022]

You know the film is going to be filled with stupid when it opens with professionals doing some of the most dangerous work ever talking about some song lyrics when they should be focusing on their job.

Honestly the entire film was offensive to anyone with half a brain.

Yeah, this film is bad. I stuck through for the visuals, so at least I can have some pretty dreams later...

Also, this new requirement for longer reviews is stupid. Not everyone wants to read 600 characters worth of drivel if what needs to be said only requires a few characters.

Probably what I'll do from now on is just rate all the films lower than I would normally since I can't explain myself properly without typing a wall of text.

Welcome to the new world...

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Needed a little more polish

[6/10 · 16 August 2022]

Some major gripes for me were the middle section being a bit slow and boring, the mind-numbingly-generic fighting music, a couple in-your-face plot holes and too many un-answered questions (too much time was spent on the antagonist).

The number one gripe which pretty much infects every super-hero it seems is the inconsistency of the powers. One moment it seems he can move at the speed of light with ease and the next he can't even zip across a room to grab a stupid map. Oh please...

Monk: Mr. Monk on Wheels (2009) Season 7, Episode 11

Starting to get tedious

[6/10 · 5 August 2022]

I can see why the show didn't last too much longer, it is starting to stink. This episode in particular is about 90% whining and 10% crime solving. Not a good percentage.

Monk: Mr. Monk and the Miracle (2008) Season 7, Episode 9

Has some good things going for it..

[9/10 · 2 August 2022]

Despite some misses, this episode really made me laugh hard. Specifically the shushing, the slapping and the singing just tickled my funny bone to no end...

The Middleman (2008)

Quirky, unusual, fun...and hot?

[9/10 · 29 July 2022]

I was ambivalent to the quirky and unusual, but there was enough sci-fi in the previews to make me want to tune in. Well, I might have been disappointed except for Natalie and Brit grabbed my attention. Natalie especially for some reason is always almost falling out of her top and those lips are insane. Episode 11 particularly is a mind-bender for the Natalie fans, wow.

The other aspects of the show were a bit weak quite often and the hour-long (45 minutes) episodes maybe drag on a bit. Regardless, I still didn't mind all that too much due to the lovely scenery. Don't be all high and mighty, the show's creators and casting folks knew exactly what they were doing, and I salute them...

The Protégé (2021)

Maggie Q fans will not be disappointed

[8/10 · 20 July 2022]

I think it's safe to say this film was made for the likes of Maggie Q, so it may help a little if you're a fan of her prior work and style.

It's true the film is somewhat derivative, but to put other reviewers on notice, that is no longer a valid argument due to the excessive drooling over the continual cash grabs from the big franchises. This is the new normal. Also, in all fairness, it's hard to be 100% creative given the sheer number of prior art.

With that out of the way, the film as a whole works quite well. The acting was top notch, the action was cool and a lot of fun and there was enough suspense to hold my interest to the very end. The ending could have gone a couple different ways and I would have been OK with either path.

Yes, there are flaws, but not everyone can be a Sergio Leone so just let it go...

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Disappointed

[5/10 · 15 June 2022]

I was really excited to see this after watching the previews. I thought awesome, this should be a decent sci-fi film. Well, like so many times before, the science fiction is a fake wrapper designed to hook more viewers. There is little of substance here in that regard and you'll be angry afterwards. I went back and re-watched Jet Li's "The One" to rescue the situation.

The remaining aspects of the film are a blend of cheese, stupidity, crass attempts at humor and of course woke preaching. Funny how none of the 'verses featured a normal nuclear family, since that wouldn't fit the accepted narrative.

So ultimately a waste of time.

The Adam Project (2022)

Turn off your brain first...

[7/10 · 14 June 2022]

Unfortunately we get little more than a candy-shell sci-fi coating on top of an action rom-com here. Despite that it's still worth a viewing when you've re-watched all the Star Trek episodes that deal with time travel and can't force yourself to forget what happens.

The visuals were actually decent and we got a few new toys to look at.

Plot holes you could drive a truck through, nonsensical science babble, and cheap laughs and emotional scenes...too bad...

That's My Jam: Jay Pharoah & Nikki Glaser vs. Terry Crews & Dan Finnerty (2022) Season 1, Episode 5

Wowza

[8/10 · 24 May 2022]

Nikki's hastily packed suitcase, milkshake, whatever, we want it, that's for sure...

Also, her singing tone is hot stuff, she needs to record something.

I don't remember anything else about the episode, I blacked out at some point.

That's My Jam: Taika Waititi & Rita Ora vs. Normani & Taraji P. Henson (2022) Season 1, Episode 3

Yikes!

[3/10 · 23 May 2022]

This episode was nuts, as others have said. I couldn't wait for them to all get wet. I think some of their publicists cried a bit afterwards...

Even the band was like, HUH?

Uncharted (2022)

Yikes...

[5/10 · 15 May 2022]

Of course I've never played the games since I'm not in to consoles and Sony has to create exclusives to maintain their products and I spent my money elsewhere.

So as a stand-alone film in my mind, this was extremely derivative of the genre. Almost every aspect has been done before, and most of the time in a much better film.

Furthermore, sorry to say, but Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg just aren't very good actors, and Tom especially was just a horrible casting choice. He basically is Spider-Man the entire time, and especially the physical action just didn't work right at all.

Antonio Banderas was great, and despite the fact that his role is derivative of prior roles, it worked perfectly in this case.

Sophia Ali was also quite good and 100% sold the concept that we never know what she'll do. I don't think anyone would disagree that she was the lone star standout in this film, bravo.

Finch (2021)

Too simple

[6/10 · 3 April 2022]

For a short while this felt like it could be an awesome movie, but then it didn't actually go anywhere and I had to slog through the remainder in hopes that it would pay off. Well, it doesn't really, unless you shed a tear at the drop of a hat. What a shame. With perhaps a day more of tweaking by someone with half a brain, this could have been a classic.

Cowboy Bebop: Binary Two-Step (2021) Season 1, Episode 6

Skin Filter

[5/10 · 27 March 2022]

Interesting to see women still have to have their skin filtered/smoothed/photoshopped/CGI'd. What a joke.

Beyond that, the hookup aspect of this episode was a snooze-fest.