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Reviews
Black Roses (1988)
Never have there been so many mullets flaunted in one film
Black Roses. Where to begin? First off, this movie is not for you if you cannot appreciate the comic genius that is a combination of bad metal music and massive mullets. Personally, I love bad movies and those two things have made [and broken] a great many movies for me. Black Roses is a beautiful melding of horrible acting, special effects that wouldn't have been impressive twenty years ago, and tons of terrible metal. Our Demonic band and their flamboyant frontman Damien [who is complete with a disappearing/reappearing mullet] use their music as a portal for evil! There are a great many unanswered questions come the end of the film, but if you are watching this film in the first place, chances are you're not in the market for a high-quality production. This is a great bad horror film, and a must-see for anyone who knows how funny mullets are.
7/10
[A few words on my rating system]
I review bad movies almost exclusively, that does not however mean that my rating system is inverted. A score of 1 denotes a film that is unbearable to watch, whereas a score of 10 epitomizes the best in the world of bad movies. A 5 is average, 6 connotes that there is something worthwhile, a 7 is a definate must-see for people who match the criteria that I will have listed in the review.
Death by Dialogue (1988)
A definitive movie in the genre
A friend of mine told me about Death by Dialogue about a year ago. I would have sworn he was trying to screw with me given his description of the film, however a few days later, he and I went to our local video store and there, resting proudly on the shelf, was Death by Dialogue. If I were to get technical, this is an awful movie, easily one of the worst ever made, however, I won't get technical. Despite it's movie-making flaws [which are blatently obvious to even the untrained eye] this is a film full of some of the cheesiest humour and corniest dialogue of all time. If you like bad horror movies, then Death by Dialogue is a must see.