LanderRei Reviews

Arachnid (2001)

Not too bad

[7 October 2002]

In my mind, the words "Giant spider" = "Bad movie" But Arachnid actually proved me wrong. Oh, it was by no means good...but it was a fun movie to watch anyways.

Alex Reid was really the only good point as far as acting goes. Everybody else in the movie was just kinda...there. Luckily though, nobody was horribly bad or annoying.

The spider and centipedes (I'm still wondering why there were giant centipedes in this movie...) looked pretty decent. Well, decent since I assume this movie had a fairly low budget. Except at the end, when the spider starts running really fast along the walls of a cave. That just looked horrible.

Im not gonna lie and tell you about the storyline. To be honest, I wasnt exactly paying attention that much. It appears that an alien spaceship crashes on a small island and it was carrying a giant spider...or maybe it mutated a spider and made it giant. Then a team goes on an expedition into the jungles to find it. Thats all I got.

An enjoyable film, but I wouldnt suggest buying it. In fact, renting it is kind of going overboard. Maybe wait for it on TV sometime. Thats what I did, and I was satisfied.

Legion of Fire: Killer Ants! (1998 TV Movie)

... ... ...Ugh

[7 October 2002]

Alright, I'll admit I didn't watch this movie expecting anything even resembling a good movie. But I was bored, and I figured it was my duty to watch this movie, and then give it the worst review humanly possible.

I'll admit that shortly into the movie, I was laughing. Mostly because I saw Don Shanks, who played Michael Myers in Halloween 5. For some reason, I found that to be hilarious. I also chuckled when I saw Mitch Pileggi from the X-Files.

But the laughter quickly stopped when the cgi ants showed up. Then I just felt sick. It looked so...so horrible. And dont get me started on the "home-made flamethrower" which didn't actually do anything. Its end was essentially on fire, and the put cgi fire in front of the screen to make you think it was shooting flames. But you could still see the real fire just sitting there doing nothing. And the shotgun that made a really poor sound effect and a small poof of smoke wherever it struck.

The acting was...bleh. Well, Im not sure about how well Don Shanks did, because I was laughing too hard to pay attention. Im not even sure what was so funny about that.

For nearly any movie, I can at least say something like "If you're into killer ants, go see this movie." but this movie is simply horrible. Even if you love killer ants, stay far, far away from this flick. Pah.

Daylight (1996)

Better than I expected

[7 October 2002]

When I saw that this movie was gonna be on USA one night, I decided to watch it. Although I had read quite a few reviews that said this movie was...well...pretty bad. But I watched it anyways, just because Danielle Harris is in it (Which is the only reason I watch so many movies)

It was actually alot better than I woulda figured. The storyline was alright, despite how cliched it is. And the acting was pretty good too. It turned out to be one of those movies where I only recognize 3 or 4 names, but when I start seeing faces I realize I know alot of these actors from other movies.

Good disaster flick, and not a bad way to spend a rainy day watching a movie or two.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

A decent sequel, but far from great

[8/10 · 7 October 2002]

Halloween 5 is my third favorite in the series (Kinda-sorta tied with the recent Halloween: Resurrection)and while its nowhere near as great as part 4 or the original, its not as poor as H20 or 6.

The acting was good in some parts, bad in others. Danielle Harris, as always, did a wonderful job, and is probably the best aspect of the film. Ellie Cornell has a much smaller role in the movie, than she did in part 4, but she still does quite well in her few scenes. And of course, Donald Pleasence was excellent, but at this point Dr. Loomis' rants are gettin' kinda old. Oh yeah...and I cant tell whether it was her character or just her, but Wendy Kaplan was amazingly annoying.

Theres no storyline in this film, beyond "Myers is back, and he's still killin' people." But thats alright, because who really would be expecting a thought-provoking storyline from a movie called "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers)

At least the movie has some good kills in it. Any death involving a scythe is cool. Although it still seems pretty tame compared to most other slasher flicks. Also, its not scary at all. Myers drives in a car a couple of that times, and I think that was supposed to be tense, but it wasnt, and I ended up muting it because Wendy Kaplan wouldn't stop screaming. Ugh.

Lastly, although this isnt too bad, the Tagline is a lie. "Michael Lives, And This Time They're Ready!" Ahem. Maybe Jamie Lloyd and Dr. Loomis are ready, but everybody else is as unprepared as they come. At the very end, they finally seem ready. They even call in the Haddonfield SWAT team or something. But the entire team is outsmarted by Myers, and they end up leaving one stinkin' cop to watch over the little girl. Yes, they are so ready...Myers is going down! *Cough..cough*

Although I will admit, the end of the movie is pretty good. Overall, if you're a fan of the movies you should check it out.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

A classic

[1 August 2002]

Seven strangers in a deserted house. Hundreds of undead outside a deserted house. Fun fun.

Shot in black and white, George Romeros classic zombie movie remains as great now as it was then. The first movie in a superb trilogy ( Followed by Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead) This is a must-see for anybody who even wants to say they like horror movies. Do yourself a favor and rent/buy this right now.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

Quite possibly the best werewolf movie ever

[10/10 · 30 July 2002]

Take the best type of monster ( werewolves of course) give our heroes guns and throw them into a small house in the midst of nowhere, and you've got a very, very good movie.

I've always loved werewolves. Movies like Silver Bullet and An American Werewolf in London are classics to me. However, very few werewolf movies are good. Thankfully, Dog Soldiers is one of the good ones.

For those interested in the storyline, its not too complicated. A squad of British soldiers are on a training exercise in Scotland, when they find themselves facing off against a group of werewolves. Yay!

The dialogue was good ( Some good humour in there) and acting was just fine. Spoon was the man. I also really liked how the werewolves looked in this movie, pretty freaky looking especially since they were so tall.

There is plenty of gore for the bloodthirsty, and Im talking about when its on the Sci-Fi channel! If it was cut, I can only imagine how bloody it is unedited. We've got torn-open stomachs, decapitations, impalations, and a boxing match between a werewolf and a soldier. Sweet.

If you like werewolf movies, or even just horror movies you must see this. If you havent seen it, keep an eye out for it, you wont be disappointed.

Jason X (2001)

At last, Im laughing because Im supposed to...

[30 July 2002]

Ahh, the Friday the 13th series. Where should I begin? Some like it, some hate it. Others worship it. I personally love the series ( With the exception of part 2 and 9.) The first was simply great, and the others...well the others seemed to be a big joke that the movies werent in on. But thats fine with me, in my opinion, to truly enjoy horror movies, you cant always take them seriously.

Finally the series has caught on, and has also stopped taking itself seriously. Some of the jokes we're lame, and came at insanely idiotic moments but at least they were trying to be funny.

The acting was...why even ask? This is the a Slasher flick, just remember that and the acting wont seem quite so bad. But I gotta give them credit for some good-lookin' girls in this movie.

Now on to what most people like...death, blood, and more death. This movie is insane. Theres around 30 deaths in this flick ( If I remember correctly, I saw it opening day which was a while ago). And we get some very fun deaths. Frozen heads being smashed, some good old machete deaths, a guy " gets screwed" and for those who have seen part 7, we get to see a remake of the infamous " sleeping bag death" ( Hilarious scene BTW)

If you're a fan of the series, You should check it out. If you're not...well I doubt you'll like it, but you might. Rent it if you're bored some night and you feel like a good laugh with enough gore to keep most fans satisfied.

Killer Bud (2001)

Funniest movie ive seen for a while

[9/10 · 30 July 2002]

" You left us in that stinky car for like, forever!"

I know I didnt quote that perfectly ( And Im not about to set up my PS2 and find the movie to get one quote right) but that line always makes me laugh.

Anyways, enough rambling, and on to my point. As said earlier, this is easily the funniest movie Ive seen in quite some time. When I first bought it (Never bothered to rent it...I take chances) I didnt expect much, but I knew it had Danielle Harris in it and thats good enough for me. Its actually pretty funny.

This movies got it all ( or almost)...a killer dog, peruvian butt-pot and feedbags...and a quick lesson is Etymology ( Might have spelled that wrong)

The acting was satisfactory, but sometimes they seemed out of character. For instance, when Danielle Harris was saying or doing something ditzy she did it just fine...but otherwise she didnt seem ditzy at all. Almost like she had random fits of stupidity, much like I do.

I suggest if you like comedies, to rent this movie. It certainly isnt for everyone, but you never know...

Back to Back (1996 TV Movie)

Better than I expected, but not by much

[30 July 2002]

Some good humour, sweet gun fighting and good cast...how can you go wrong? Im not sure exactly, but somehow this flick did. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this movie...but it wasn't great. Worth a rental if theres nothing else to rent, and maybe - MAYBE - worth buying.

Main problem is the mix of comedy and action. Not enough action to make a solid action movie, nor enough humour to make it really funny.

But hey, the casts still strong. Michael Rooker and Ryo Ishibashi do their jobs well as the two main characters. And the lovely Danielle Harris as always does a fine job ( Then again she could have spent the movie sitting there doing absolutely nothing and I would have remained interested)

****SPOILER ahead**** But is it just me or was Bobcat annoying in this movie? Especially when his hand is cut off and he runs out of the restaurant freaking out with his assault rifle and screaming . That lasted far too long, and I wished somebody would get a lucky shot and rip off his jaw. Anything to shut him up. ****SPOILER ended****

Anyways, if you like comedy or action...or like me just like Danielle Harris, you may wanna rent this movie. I mean its not bad, its just not all that good. Elvis Lives.

Back to Back (1996 TV Movie)

Better than expected, but not by much.

[30 July 2002]

Some good humour, sweet gun fighting and good cast...how can you go wrong? Im not sure exactly, but somehow this flick did. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this movie...but it wasn't great. Worth a rental if theres nothing else to rent, and maybe - MAYBE - worth buying.

Main problem is the mix of comedy and action. Not enough action to make a solid action movie, nor enough humour to make it really funny.

But hey, the casts still strong. Michael Rooker and Ryo Isabashi do their jobs well as the two main characters. And the lovely Danielle Harris as always does a fine job ( Then again she could have spent the movie sitting there doing absolutely nothing and I would have remained interested)

****SPOILER ahead**** But is it just me or was Bobcat annoying in this movie? Especially when he ran out of the restaurant freaking out with his assault rifle and screaming. That lasted far too long, and I wished somebody would get a lucky shot and rip off his jaw. Anything to shut him up. ****SPOILER ended****

Anyways, if you like comedy or action...or like me just like Danielle Harris, you may wanna rent this movie. I mean its not bad, its just not all that good. Elvis Lives.

The Beyond (1981)

Put simply...I love it

[30 July 2002]

Watching this makes me wonder why some people dislike Fulcis work. This movie is simply great.

You want good acting? Well...err...ok, so maybe it doesnt have the best acting in the world, but oh well. Nothings perfect.

You want gore? Ok, that we have. In true Fulci style, no eyes are safe. Eyes being impaled through nails, eyes being torn out, and If I remember correctly, a spider eats an eye. Besides that, theres some heads being shot, and dogs attacking people. Its extremely gruesome, and sorry if my descriptions themselves disgust you...but if they do you shouldnt be looking at a review for an Italian gore-flick.

The storyline is pretty well done. Quickly put - One of the seven gates of Hell have been opened. See? Simple.

The ending is pretty creative, as well as creepy. Although in the finale (at the hospital) David Warbeck just doesnt seem to get it. Each and every time he fires once or twice at a zombies chest before finally shooting it in the head. If he had common sense he'd realize the head shots are the ones that count.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

Second best in the series!

[9/10 · 14 July 2002]

Often times its an unwritten rule that no sequel in a horror movie series can be better than the original. But that doesnt mean the sequels cant be great. This is one of the 4 good Halloween movies ( Halloween, H4, H5 and Resurrection)

The storyline: Myers has awoken from his coma ( Not suprising, he was only shot once or twice and burnt to a crisp in the last movie) and now hes after his 7 year old neice, Jamie. ( Played wonderfully by the very talented Danielle Harris) Sure, the storyline is nothing special but this is a slasher, be thankful there is a story.

Violence and gore are well done too. Too bad Myers doesnt know how to work a shotgun though.

Director Dwight Little did a great job with this movie.( Heh, coincidence, my grandfathers name was Dwight Small) Donald Pleasence as always did great as Loomis, and same goes for Ellie Cornell. And as stated earlier, Danielle Harris does a simply fantastic job, For once I actually felt bad for the kid rather than wishing they were killed.

Tis a shame no other Halloween movie reached the level of perfection the original and part 4 achieved.

The Wild Thornberrys (1998–2004)

Ugh

[12 July 2002]

For the record, I used to love Nickelodeon. Rockos Modern Life was my religion ( ...Not really, but almost) But the shows of this channel have become wastes. Wild Thornberrys is no exception.

I've watched this show twice. The very first time I saw it, I found that it quite simply, wasnt funny at all. Most of the characters were simply annoying, and I didnt feel the show was creative at all.

Once I learned that Danielle Harris did a voice for this show, having a, what I call, " silly crush" on her, I gave the show one last chance. Having watched it a second time, I found my opinion unchanged.

Maybe if you're younger, you'll enjoy this show. But if you were around for the good ole' days of Nickelodeon, avoid this mess.

Wish Upon a Star (1996 TV Movie)

Well, this is...interesting.

[10/10 · 12 July 2002]

My friends call me Crazy. Im starting to think Im crazy. But...I actually like this movie.

About 90% of my movie collection is horror movies, yet somehow this movie made it into my collection ( on a blank tape...but its still there) But enough rambling.

Sure, this may be on Disney, but that doesnt mean its not good. People should just give it a chance. I in fact only watched it because Ive got some silly crush on Danielle Harris. But thats not the point!

The movie has great acting, its funny and it has a moral to the story. But im no good at writing reviews. My point is: If a hardcore horror fan like me can like this movie, just about anybody can. Just give it a chance.