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troyhawke
Reviews
Bridgerton (2020)
LOL netflix
You know, it's actually somewhat entertaining watching these low-IQers who think they're actors, however it quickly becomes tiresome. The wokness and anti-european fake history displayed in this low-IQ series rewarded Netflix a cancelled subscription. Good luck Netflix :D
Game of Thrones (2011)
Oh that darned season 8
Game of thrones has some redeeming elements and scenes.
Most scenes involving Tywin Lannister are good. He has a knack for putting people in their actual proper place, and noone dares to oppose. This is the only character worth watching, and rooting for, in the whole series. Of course they had to remove this example of toxic masculinity and replace him with limp wristed cowards and «strong» women. Otherwise the series would be over and done with after season 3 or whatever.
Other good scenes:
When the «sparrows» and the mosque of baelor melts in green fire while the princess is watching.
When that giant guy squashes the head of that cocky degenerate.
The rest is pure garbage.
Btw why don't they replace all the soldiers with women and girls? They are clearly better in all aspects. LOL completely ridiculous.
The nomads (dullraki or whatever) are laughably overpowered in the series. Basically nothing but light cavalry rabble who in reality would be easily defeated by spearmen in good order.
Season 8 is the best season, because it's the end, and a fitting end it is.
Away (2020)
UN goes to Mars
LOL. Squabbling colorful UN multiculti-team goes to Mars and Joe taxpayer in the USA foots the bill as usual. Nothing exiting happens, nothing interesting happens, and the characters are laughable. Who would ever pick out this gaggle of half-wits to pilot their trillion dollar mission to Mars? Noone, thats who. What would be great is if they stayed away forever. I'd join in on the bill if they did.
That is pretty much it, nothing more of importance to say about it.
Robin Hood (2018)
Racism at its finest
A literal feast of leftist anti-white, anti-christian neo-marxist talking points (i.e. a bunch of usual lies and propaganda regarding the crusades, the church, christianity and islam). Jamie Fox gets to play his second dream role, as the self righteous moorish superman spouting off all the aforementioned talking points, while humiliating or killing white people (btw any black african finding himself in the arab peninsula at the time would be a slave). The actor playing Robin Hood (I do not care what his name is) is completely worthless as an actor and has no self-respect at all.
Btw, did Robin Hood live during the 17th, 18th, 19th or 20th century? Neither of them, but noone would be able to tell from this movie as the setting is a mishmash of the mentioned periods. It's actually a wonder «Robin» didn't pull out a smartphone to take a selfie while dodging crossbow bullets, oops sorry, crossbow bolts in «bullet time» and simultaneously sending off three (yes, 3) arrows from his «arabian» (lol) recurve bow.
How this title has managed to get a score above 5 is absolutely amazing and shows the true worth of this rating system. 0.
Divergent (2014)
Gun control
Warning! Spoilers.
So Ashley Judd wants a gun now? How and where did you get that gun, Ashley? Let's see if you learned anything from this story. Not going to bet on it, though.
Another teen-hero story complete with plenty of plot holes, girl-power and silly love interests. People are herded into 5 different fractions to fit into a really dumb dystopian society. Some people "diverge" and do not fit in. One fraction naturally wants all power, so they try to wipe out the fraction that as been ruling by tradition. Cue young hero to expose it all.
Perhaps workable as a popcorn movie for the younger crowd, however adults or younger people with some sort of attention span will be bored out of their minds.
Passable performances by the two young main characters, poor/sad performances by the "big names", specially by Ashley Judd, but she never were that much of an actress anyway.
Veronica Mars (2014)
Laughable liberal drivel
"When the class war starts, it will start here in Neptune"??? Really? I see Veronica Mars is still the same liberal moronic drivel that it always was. Rich/white men are basically scumbags and cops are corrupt, racist idiots. You know how the rest goes. Get a job Kirsten Bell, a real one that you actually have talent for. That goes for the rest of the cast as well.
Identity Thief (2013)
Again, a mind-numbingly stupid movie
There is this thing that has to be taken into consideration when watching a movie. It's called "suspension of disbelief". This means that you have to accept some plot holes or scenes that are not very believable. "Suspension of disbelief" is completely impossible in this movie, because there is just no way to accept that none of the other characters grows a slightest hint of backbone and puts a bullet square between the eyes of Melissa McCarthy's extremely annoying and obnoxious character. The entertainment value of this pile of dung is pretty much zero. Disgusting.
Every scene with her is mind-numbingly stupid and disgustingly unfunny. Oh, and this goes for ALL her movies.
I have worked through IMDb and EVERY movie that has McCarthy in it, gets ONE STAR from me.
The Heat (2013)
Disgusting
There is this thing that has to be taken into consideration when watching a movie. It's called "suspension of disbelief". This means that you have to accept some plot holes or scenes that are not very believable. "Suspension of disbelief" is completely impossible in this movie and every other movie with Melissa McCarthy, because there is just no way to accept that none of the other characters grows a slightest hint of backbone and puts a bullet square between the eyes of Melissa McCarthy's extremely annoying and obnoxious character. You will be disappointed (again) that no one has a brain in today's Hollywood movies. Disgusting.
Pretty much every scene in this movie is mind-numbingly stupid and extremely unfunny. The hate towards men in general and white men in particular is truly disgusting.
I have worked through IMDb and EVERY movie that has McCarthy in it, gets ONE STAR from me.
Ghostbusters (2016)
A steaming little puddle of manure
It's a pity you can't give a Movie 0 stars.
This New steaming pile of dung is NOT Ghostbusters. It's a poorly made rehash of the old Movie, without any of the humour, with ridiculously low quality cgi compared to the effects of the original, and actors whose talent doesn't reach the toenails of those in the original. This Movie made me ask myself, how did Melissa McCarthy become an actor? And Kristen Wiig? Between the two of them they have less talent than a bag of rocks, and are slightly less funny. Wiig should stick to doing voices for "SpongeBob"-characters.
If they wanted to make something original, they should have spent a few cents on an actual script. Perhaps cooked up a story about the daughters of the original Ghostbusters continuing the legacy or some-such connection. It could easily have been made into a good story. But no, no creativity involved in any way at any level, just a sad attempt at making the old movie into a new "girl-power"-movie.
I must say that it has given a few minutes of enjoyment though, and that there are things about this movie that I love, and things about it that I hate.
I love the fact that the trailer on YouTube has barely 200 000 likes, but well over 1 million dislikes! That's really funny! I love the fact that it completely augured in at the Box Office and lost more than $70 million! That's absolutely hilarious! :D
Also, it's rather entertaining to read reviews here on IMDb from the fragile, triggered egos of SJW's and frothing-at-the-mouth feminists, who dare to venture out from their safe-spaces and their never-going-to-get-a-job gender studies to defend this poor, sad little propaganda piece. And from the ratings of my review's usefulness; the triggered snowflakes are obviously reading my review as well :D
Pretty much hate everything else about it.
So who you gonna call? Someone else. What you gonna watch? Any movie but this one. The end.
Oh, BTW, Donald Trump is your president. Enjoy! :D
Scandal (2012)
Another steaming pile of manure
Sat down to watch the pilot episode of this series since there was nothing else available. I thought maybe it could be worth while watching. Boy was I wrong.
Already in the first meeting between the first two characters, the overacting becomes really clear, and from there on it just gets worse. The never ending fast-talking and always having an answer right away to make the characters seem intelligent gets really tiresome. Then there's the Russian criminals. They would never have folded the way they did. They would have taken the money and shot bigmouth Pope in the face. Clearly the writer does not understand criminals. Completely unbelievable.
Then the politics comes into play. Of course the first case is regarding a gay-hating war hero and "poster boy for the conservative right", who is accused of murdering his girlfriend. He didn't do it of course, but wait, lets make him being gay his alibi so we can surprise-kick any right-wing audience in the teeth anyway. Gee, I never saw that catch 22 coming. Choose between being gay or a murderer. Also lets have one of Pope's associates openly declare how much she hates republicans and soldiers, and you can see the glee on her face when they "find out" he's gay. Thats the only believable scene in the whole show, because right then and there, shes not acting, but rejoicing. Way to be neutral Hollywood.
Also, how is it that the president is white in this show, during Obamas presidency? He is quite clearly portrayed as a "hollywood republican". A republican Bill Clinton if you will. Every opportunity Hollywood gets, the president is black, but not here, even when the real president is black. Is it because he obviously is a scumbag in this show? I guess we can't have Saint Obama portrayed as a cheating, woman-abusing scumbag now can we? How about making the scumbag president female then? No, that would be sacrilege! I guess women in politics are always strong and good, and crooked Hillary doesn't exist, huh?
The rest is also crap. The story is completely unbelievable. How is it that this group is so powerful, and have some dirt on every single person ever to blackmail them with? Are there no "clean" people, who didn't cheat on their wife, who didn't lie or break the law in some way? It just assumes that everyone is a cheater or a criminal in some way. The writer can take a long walk off a short cliff.
The Missing (2014)
The reviews are rubbish
The reviews are way too good for this mini-series. The acting is sub-par, seems rushed. The storyline really isn't that good, rather boring, and the cast is also not the best. Not quite what one would expect. Btw the cast for the police are straight up laughable and an insult to anyone that have any knowledge about these types of crimes in Europe. I guess "the department for political correctness" had a big fat hand in it.
I'm giving this steaming turd a 1, just to balance it out against the ridiculous 10-reviews.
The end.
Nothing more down here.
Spartacus: Gods of the Arena (2011)
Who cares about history?
"Spartacus: (fill in cool second title here)". Wow. Where to start?
It's nothing but blood, gore and sex, slow-mo killings and seemingly extremely dumb Romans slaughtered. Who cares about history? Obviously not the creators of this series, nor the audience. The acting is nothing to write home about either.
Spoiler: Spartacus was initially successful, escaping the Praetorians (the imperial guard and "police-force" of Rome at that time), and plundering small towns and the countryside of Italy. After gathering 70 000 slaves and defeating the two consular legions (about 10 000 men) that had routed Crixus and his 30 000 slaves, and later defeating the two inexperienced legions of legate Mummius, his success was over. The Romans had Crassus and his six legions chase and cut off Spartacus and his forces, at Rhegium near the straits of Messina. Spartacus had no way out and were forced to attack the legions. The slave-revolt ended right there and pretty much all of them were killed, including Spartacus, with few Roman losses. But who cares, there's blood, gore and sex, cursing in every sentence and no realism in the fighting what so ever. Great, huh?
From Paris with Love (2010)
Excellent movie!
Awesome movie with good performances by the leading characters,especially Travolta. I think this was a perfect character for him; it was a pure and absolute pleasure watching him having so much fun! Unexpected turns, actions and dry humor in just the right amount. Go and see it. This movie is a must see for people who like actions, foreign scenery and Pulp Fiction type of direction.
And to top it off, you can come here to IMDb and read the reviews from all the terrorist-sympathizers, "boohoo, dark-skinned people and muslims are shown as bad guys, terrorists and criminals". Well, having lived in different parts of Europe and working within law enforcement, I'll say it's not very far from the truth. In fact, it's likely to be spot on.
Well worth watching!
Cowboy Builders (2009)
Nice, but...
Show is OK, seems to bee genuinely helpful, as they take on builders that rip off people and leave a mess for the customers to fix themselves. Good thing these builders are exposed as the frauds they are. But the title however.. "Cowboy builders"... really? "Cowboy builders"? I've seen no cowboys in the show. Why does the producers think that "cowboy" is an appropriate way to describe a builder that does not do his job, but takes the money anyway? Are they aware that the real cowboys probably were some of the most hardworking and honorable men in history? Pirate builders would be a better title. Anyway, you can watch the beautiful Melinda Messenger on the show, walking around, being cute as she always is.
Shutter Island (2010)
So boring you'll question your sanity
This review DOES contain spoilers.
Right at the beginning of the film it becomes clear that this is supposed to be all spooky and scary. The movie tries too hard at creating an eerie mood, and fails miserably because it is so overdone, especially with the music. There are a few good scenes but most of it is repeated so many times it becomes tedious. The observant viewer will quickly understand (spoiler here) that the US Marshal actually is a patient there, and from there on in you just wait for him to "get it", and you no longer care about anyone or anything that happens. And the shocking twist at the end is no twist, its just a boring "yeah, yeah, we get it"-moment. Of course he's on his way to get the lobotomy, yeah so he's not cured, maybe he chose not to be cured, blah blah blah, "the ending leaves so many questions" yeah whatever.
It's too overdone, too obvious, too long and too boring. We are promised an exciting story but it does not deliver. This movie will probably be spoken highly of by all the know-it-all's, and if you didn't like it you'll be told that you "didn't get it". But yeah, we did get it, because it was way too obvious.
Spend your money on something else, get a haircut for instance. It's less boring and quicker.
The Mist (2007)
Could have been an OK movie
Spoilers ahead! OK, so it begins quite good, with the storm and the mist and everything looks promising. Then comes the tentacles. A little disappointing, but hey, wasn't expecting much in a S.K.-based movie. The big problem is that they looked like they easily could have broken that door but they didn't, and such a door does not close if something gets jammed under it (a safety issue). The different "bugs" and "bats" are just about tolerable as monsters, although not scary. Then all this religious crap starts. First of all people don't buy into this cultist-stuff just like that, at least not in one night. They will be busy surviving and scouting for threats rather than listening to some nut-case. Second, funny how religious people (read: always the Christians, after all this *is* small-town America, the part of USA that Hollywood just loves to hate) are always portrayed as whack-jobs, and small-town people are just easily misled hillbillies/rednecks while the great liberal artist from the big city is the ultimate good-guy and beacon of reason. The whole movie industry and their writers (obviously including Mr. King) just really like to bash those oh so dangerous Christians, huh?
And then there's the annoying ending. They could have gotten gas from other cars or from a pump before they ran out. One filling it up and another guarding with the gun. Anyone would EASILY risk that before running out. And IF they ran out they could wait for days. Eating a bullet is NOT something that becomes that tempting that quick. Besides, shooting two persons with one bullet is easily done at such close range. The improbabilities are just stacked on top of each other in a neverending pile. It would be no problem to make a better ending but noooo, they had to create a "shocking/controversial" and ultimately very UNENTERTAINING ending, making the whole movie null and void. The main character just gives up and SHOOT HIS OWN KID. Worst ending ever. The only good thing is I never paid to see this horse manure.
Beowulf & Grendel (2005)
Hollywood's revisionism and relativism
Warning: spoilers ahead.
Grendel was not a mumbling retard. He had no father. Beowulf did not have doubts. Grendels mother was a monster, killed by Beowulf.
Besides, there was no "witch" in the poem. Yet here she is, being the clever one, telling everyone what is right and wrong.
And where did that monk come from? And how come early Christians are always portrayed as frothing lunatics and hypocrites? This movie was NOT Beowulf, this was just another stinking pile of Hollywood revisionist relativist dung.
Hey Hollywood, when you a-holes are done throwing crap at one of the oldest and most important works in Anglo-Saxon literature, let us know. We would like to see a movie that was actually based on the poem. I won't hold my breath though.
1 star because there's no 0-star option.
Beowulf (2007)
A disgrace!
Warning: spoilers ahead.
In the poem Beowulf does not fight in the nude. He kills Grendels mother (which by the way did NOT look like Lara Croft). The dragon has nothing to do with the fore-mentioned monsters. Hrothgar does not kill himself. This movie was NOT Beowulf, this was a stinking pile of Hollywood revisionist relativist dung.
Hey Hollywood, when you're done throwing crap at one of the oldest and most important works in Anglo-Saxon literature, let us know. We would like to see a movie that was actually based on the poem. I won't hold my breath though.
1 star because there's no 0-star option.
Syriana (2005)
let's just blame USA for everything, anything...
It's so easy to blame USA, capitalism - the very thing that created the wealth of the western world (no, not by exploiting others, shove that liberal crap up yours), republicans, Israel and the "jooos" for everything that is wrong in this world.
The terrorists have more than just conquered Hollywood. And Hollywood has more than just surrendered. It's much worse than that. Hollywood has sided with the terrorists. They've become their enablers, not only in the sharing of terrorist goals but in working side by side with them to achieve those goals. And the terrorists didn't even have to do that much to win them over. They needed only oppose George W. Bush.
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood ever stop to say, "Uhm, you know, we are at war. They did attack us. Twice. I was just thinking maybe we should do a film where we're the good guys and they're the– Sorry. Bush is Hitler." Obviously being a Leftwing moonbat is oh so very "courageous" in Hollywood. So is making movies that attack Christianity, country, or military. Sooooo courageous! And for ol' Looney, oops my bad, Clooney, well I'm sure he thinks Al-Jazeera is too "pro-American." 1 out of 10, just because I have to give it something to write this review.
Torque (2004)
Really? REALLY?
Warning! Spoilers ahead! They ride their sport-bikes through the desert, or at least that what the producers (and *very* unsuccessfully, I might add) want you to think they did. Which tells me that the producers think the audience are a bunch of idiots.
There are two skinny girls *fighting* with their bikes, making the impression that the bikes weigh about 10 pounds each. Words escape me.
Bikes on a train? Wheelies between the seats? Really?
High speed driving without helmets? Again, really? You know that fly that hit your eye in 130 mph? And burst your eyeball? Good luck with all that.
As for the ending, with a jet-bike in city traffic, there are no words for how moronic that was.
To top it off: Fat-boy Ice-cube on a bike? Really? REALLY? I don't think so. At best he could drive a 15hp chopper around town in about 20 mph so all his "bling-bling" won't fall off. Be careful to not get that too-long basketball-shirt, or the shoelaces from your untied shoes, stuck in the chain. It wouldn't be pretty. And the rest of his "cool-boy rapper-biker-gang" was just as believable as that 300mph-through-city-traffic-wearing-no-helmet ending.
This is just another example of what's wrong with todays "movies". Who cares about realism and a plot, as long as it's "cool" and "awesome", and the actors curses a lot and makes degrading comments about women, and wears a lot of "bling-bling". It's not even bad, it's not even laughable, but it sure brings on a whole new level of stupid. What a waste of money, time and resources.
Animal Farm (1954)
A very good take on Orwell novel
This is a very good adaption of Orwell's novel. The ending might differ a bit, but it was necessary to make a good ending for a movie.
And for the idiot that wrote "CIA-propaganda", well, it was made during the cold war, but that doesn't make it any less relevant. It was well made, and really drove the point about the evils of communism home, and thats what makes you mad.
Also read another that said "Second revolution?!! Haven't they guys learned anything?". Seems like the eastern Europe "didn't learn anything"... or did they? They certainly threw off the communist yoke and are now free and prospering.
To sum it up: commies aren't cool, and this movie shows it.