bwelch33 Reviews

Good Eats (1999–2012)

The Anti-Emeril

[4 July 2004]

I've been watching Good Eats for several years now, and I believe it to be the most informative and easy to watch of all those available. (I find myself without any patience for Emeril Legasse's childish, self-serving antics, and if I never hear "Bam" again, it'll be too soon.)

Alton Brown manages to impart more information in half an hour than most other shows can get to in an hour. The secret to this show is the focus on individual aspects of cooking and the science behind them. While some of the episodes use contrived devices (such as location shots with goofy characters), Brown uses humor to explain the physics behind cooking's rules, as well as to dispel many of the myths perpetrated by the culinary snobs in the chef/restaurant world. For instance, Brown demystifies the simple souffle in one episode while setting up the base information needed to move on to more complex souffles.

I have been quite accomplished in the kitchen for many years, and have not been intimidated by any dish for quite some time. Many years ago I came across a copy of the textbook for the Culinary Institute of America and read it cover to cover. While highly informative, the book doesn't bother to explain in anywhere near Brown's detail as to why certain things are necessary, unnecessary, optional, or just plain silly. As much as I thought I knew already, Brown never fails to add to my repertoire and my understanding with his simple explanations of the physics behind cooking, and the processes that are behind the techniques.

The Terminal (2004)

Spielberg Sells Out

[20 June 2004]

Folks, this movie ought to be one of the standards by which we judge reviews... I wouldn't want to read a review of any film by anyone who didn't feel robbed of the money they spent to see this tripe.

First of all, to all of you who were impressed by Hanks' accent, there is no such place as Krakozhia, it's FICTIONAL, so any accent would be immaterial and without reference.

Second, to those who feel compelled to recant in grade school book report form the basic points of plot, lets try it truly boiled down; Guy comes from made up Eastern European country (lest anyone be offended by a real place), becomes caught up in typical governmental red tape by typically incompetent government power trippers, meets innocuous people impossible to care about, gets an autograph and goes home.

Never mind the implausible, if not downright impossible advancement devices used in the process. Never mind the infomercial level of blatant product placement that insults the intelligence of anyone fortunate enough to possess same, and never mind the clear abuse of respected film industry names as a means to draw box office profits... There simply is no story here people. There is absolutely nothing to care about, one way or another.

I occasionally see Spielberg across the room at conventions, and the next time I do, I'm going to demand my money back.

George Carlin: "Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize, half of them are more stupid than that."

Like Mike (2002)

Racist Plagiarism

[24 January 2003]

Seen this movie before? Yep, it's called Rookie of the Year. When you copy another idea, theme, or entire story, even your own, it's known as plagiarism. (And yes, I know it's done all the time, and every time it's without the writer's consent, it's plagiarism.) When you do it with the villains all being white and/or stereotypical (the quasi-mongoloid white bully and the show tune singing white prospective parents were particularly infuriating)and the heroes all black and ebonics validating, it's racist.

No, it's not "reverse" racism, it is simply racism. If this movie were made with the protagonists as white and the antagonists black the producers (and everyone associated with the production) would be persecuted, prosecuted, and burned in effigy.

As an aside, did anyone else notice that every time the little kid dunks the ball he hangs from the rim, and you never see how he gets down?

The Razor's Edge (1984)

A True Test Film

[14 October 2002]

This is one of those films that defines the difference between a "film" and a "movie". Maugham, in print form, often drags; Murray's senses of humor and timing eschew that hurdle and make a beautiful story of growth and epiphany accessible in just two short hours.

The "test" aspect for me here is simple and a bit autocratic, if not downright arrogant as Hell; I don't want to know well anyone who does not appreciate this film.