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jhusk13
Reviews
Paranormal Entity (2009)
Netflix prompted...but it's worth watching again.
This movie is fantastic! Of course it's going to garner it's fair share of "haters" and people who generally distaste the 'rip-off' aspect of Paranormal Entity Vs. Paranormal Activity. I have now seen both of these movies; I thought Paranormal Activity was spooky and clever, genius marketing and an ungodly return on investment, but I watched Paranormal Entity last night, and fell in love.
Entity has such an awesome creepy-factor to it. Of course the movie has some "borrowed" themes or ideas from former horror films (the bedroom cross = nightmare on elm street, the sister standing in the dark corner of the attic = blair witch project, countless themes and parallels with Paranormal Activity, etc.) but that can all be forgiven if you develop a certain sense of discomfort and unease while watching Entity. If this movie enters your thoughts as you go to sleep after watching it for the first time, everyone involved in it's production has accomplished their goal. (I don't think this movie was ever intended to win Oscars and academy awards.) It was created to ride the coat tails of the super popular P.A., and maybe even improve on the formula of that film in the process. A heavy majority of IMDb.com patrons have found the contrary to be the case, but personally, i thought this movie delivered a better story, a creepier demon/apparition and a more thrilling product with multiple peaks/valleys.
Two quick examples of the extraneous nuances which make this movie work better than Paranormal Activity: 1). the para-psychologist who divulges to the family what a "Maron" is, from Germanic Folk-lore, revolving around nightmares. I thought that was a great touch. 2). The fact that this Maron wants to torture/subjugate this family so much that it goes to the extreme of shattering the father-figures ashes and picture from the family's small shrine in the basement, and uses the ashes to create footprints all of the ceilings and walls.
Of course it's my humble opinion, but i went into this movie with no expectations, and found that it is very unsettling. In a good way.
The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)
Every 3 or so months...
I get lucky, and i get to see the latest "worst movie i've ever seen." Last night was just about that time for a new piece of garbage to take the crown. Thanks be to The Crow: Wicked Prayers for supplying me a few thoughts which will take me away from getting any work done for the next half hour or so.
Firstly, i'd like to submit my appreciation for Edward Furlong. I like Edward furlong. Terminator 2, Detroit Rock City, American History X, etc. However; Casting Mr. Furlong as The Crow, a supernatural, consummate badass, hellbent on a particularly gory/sadistic style of vengeance = ignorant. Would you please just compare him, for a split second, to Brandon Lee (the original Crow). Does Edward Furlong possess a SINGLE MUSLCE in that pasty little body of his? Has he ever had training in Stage Combat, or any sort of Martial Art? (there's no evidence of that in this movie). Does he possess, even to the smallest degree, some kind of raspy, Lazarus-inspired, 'back-from-the-grave-to-get-you-sucka' voice that a dark hero should have? The answer to these questions, and the prospect of Ed Furlong being The Crow is simply "NO." Thankfully for Edward, the Crow character is featured in a monstrous black leather duster, or we would be even more exposed to his awkward body in all it's superhero shortcomings.
Secondly, why are some actors so oblivious to what can only amount to a god-awful career decision? More power to Tito Ortiz. That's the absolute best performance that Tito Ortiz could conjure up, i'm sure. But, Dennis Hopper, Tara Reid, and David Boreanaz?????? Do these fine pillars of the entertainment industry in Hollywood not have a single employee checking out scripts and projects on their behalf before they're committed to them? F$&*, hire me!!!! I'll save you the embarrassment of being in these god awful movies before you have to see yourself on MTV2 or the Sci-fi channel at 2 am. AND, Danny Trejo! Please never do another movie not connected with Quentin Tarrantino, Robert Rodriguez, or Rob Zombie...
The script is horrendous, Dennis Hopper's dialog alone will provide proof that the writer collaborated with his 8 yr old/gangsta nephew on this one. The story is ludicrous. The effects...let's just say at this point that this movie is bad!! Long story short, the individuals who make up the cast are interesting, well-established actors. None of them should have appeared in this movie. None of them should have been cast in the roles in which they were in this movie. None of them should ever speak to anyone about the fact that they've contributed to the completion of this movie.
This movie is a formidable opponent to everything that Paris Hilton has been a part of (and the Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Superhero Movie, franchise) for most god awful crap we humans can put on film...
Avatar (2009)
This a good movie, not a perfect movie.
I just want to write a quick critique of this movie, and get out of your hair.
I indeed liked this movie. The graphics, the soundtrack, the Sigourney Weaver, what's not to like? Answer: the 3 hour time frame in which the story stagnates. (i'm not sure if "stagnates" is a word, but imagine the term stagnant becoming a verb). It's great that the movie takes place over the period of weeks and months, but good lord, I felt like i was in the theater for weeks and months too. This movie receives a very solid four out of five stars or an 80% lovingly entertained vote from me. BUT; that's what it is. It's entertainment. This movie is not the "greatest film in the last 30 years, etc." It's an incredible testament to the innovation of Mr. Cameron, and the overall point of technological advancement we've reached in todays world. However; the most noticeable missing component in this movie is progression.
So soft on the eyes, and equally as soft on the mind. For something to gain such notoriety, in such a short period of time, is also a testament to how little we Americans want to be challenged mentally by our cinema.
*GO watch this movie, judge for yourself, and let me know if you think it's a fantastic 3-D version of Ferngully, like I did.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Good for you Brad Pitt...
3 hours later, the lesson of this movie is that Brad Pitt is still able to look like he's in high school (even though he's really in his 40's). That's not jealousy, i promise. I really enjoy Brad Pitt's movies (i.e. Fight Club, Troy, Burn After Reading, Snatch, etc), but what i want to iterate in this comment, is that they chose him for the role, because he's Brad Pitt.
This is an original story, at least it's original to me. Although this movie does have it's good points, after 3+ hours, I just felt like it is an un-realized version of a possibly GREAT story. This is a mediocre fantasy movie. Good fantasy movies are able to ascertain credibility through the reactionary tendencies, chance encounters, and equally large/fantastic introductions of the "extras" and "supporting characters" in the story. It may just be my affinity for his work, but i feel like Guillermo Del Toro could have told this story better, in less time, with more substance (it's a 4 star movie if he does it, and it's in Spanish).
This movie does pull at your heart strings a little bit. I felt like the scenes between the dying mother and daughter in the hospital were very well done, and obviously relevant to everything else in the movie. But i also felt a lack of any sort of chemistry between Brad Pitt and Ms. Blanchette.
In summation, i didn't like the way Benjamin Button's condition was taken with a grain of salt by everyone in the movie. The reaction of the rest of the characters to him is what really makes or breaks the movie. Also; the movie was too long, with countless scenes contributing to the "not moving forward" factor which was never lost on me. And lastly, I think that it's too wrapped up in a not-so-genuine love plot between Brad Pitt and Kate Blanchette.
4 out of 10 from me...
The Promotion (2008)
Did anyone read the script before making the movie?
This movie was absolutely awful...I can't even think of an articulate way to describe this movie; which could detract credibility from my remarks. This movie isn't worthy of a thoughtful summary. It's a pile of trash. Apologies to those who find that judgement too harsh, you're wrong, there is no silver lining in this black cloud.
Here's why:
After viewing "Mr. Woodcock," it became abundantly clear to me that Seann William Scott will doesn't read scripts, he just accepts the work. He's not steve stiffler anymore, as bad as he want to be. To appeal to a greater demographic (than that of American pie) he seriously needs to find roles where he actually does some acting. His character in this movie is terribly frustrating to watch. The dialog he has with everyone else in the movie feels awkward and forced at best.
Mr. John C Reiley has made a name for himself through such drama filled gems as "walk hard" and "talladega knights." It's good to see The Promotion allow him to evolve and branch out into such a complex character. A marijuana addicted French Canadian with a daughter and a Scottish wife....ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? What a horrible character. That whole scene about "cracking the cheese" just about caused me to throw a large stone through my beautiful, large television. I like stupid movies, Harold and Kumar (both of them) are two of my favorite movies of all time. I can appreciate a good stoner character. God forbid the actors/actresses in this movie make the slightest effort to provide any humanistic qualities or emotions in their roles, and actually make you identify and relate to them.
acting was god-awful, writing was even worse, there is no cinematography to speak of, etc.
P.S. Lili Taylor (she's amazing in 'six feet under') with an F-ING Scottish ACCENT?!?!?!? WHY!?!?! Just employ a freaking Scottish actress!!
Why oh Why do production companies greenlight projects like these? The story is nothing but childish feuding, and would best be served as a failed pilot for a NBC sitcom...
Sunshine (2007)
Better when it was called "Event Horizon"
This movie has already been done before, and it was done to perfection in the sci-fi/horror thriller Event Horizon.
Cillian Murphy, Kudos on Batman, 28 days later, and....(well that's about it). Somebody please read the scripts to these movies, i swear the shitty ones don't get weeded out, they just get more publicity going into their theatrical release.
Let's just make another space movie where absolutely anything that could go wrong, does. Nobody has ever tried that formula for dramatic success before, have they? It's amazing how hit or miss danny boyle really is...although i feel ashamed to admit, i did love The Beach...
The King of Kong (2007)
Thank God these clowns don't play real sports
...well, that's the overall feeling i had when the credits rolled at the end of the movie. I absolutely loved this movie because it was the weirdest cast of characters i could ever have hoped to watch in their natural environment. Excluding Mr. Weibe, everyone in this movie qualifies as a borderline psychopath.
Didn't that guy who's the referee and creator of Twin Galaxies say he doesn't even make money on this? he does it all as a volunteer...? Oof, Anyway, i've seen a couple of comments citing how inspirational this film is, and i'm actually inclined to agree. I couldn't help but feel obligated to hate and detest that long-haired, wing sauce pedaling, donkey turd (Billy Mitchell). What a pompous coward. His little lackey (Steven Kuh) narrating the scene in that New Hampshire arcade,("everyone's watching your video billy, all eyes are on your video billy, there's no distraction in the world that could make people turn away from this billy...")made me want to throw up. Everyone associated with this Billy Mitchell defended and revered his actions, both past and present. Listening to his interviews and "life lessons" for the cameras on what makes a true champion, only led to the clear cut assessment of him being a hypocritical, non-sensical, douche bag of unparalleled magnitude.
i'm sorry, i'm actually very passionate about how awful that guy is.
Obviously, for me, this movie is so great because it hooked me and kept my undivided attention the whole way through. This movie demands an emotional investment from its audience. I picked it up without having heard anything about it before, it turns out that it's more than just a collaboration of nerds playing arcade games. It really is a great story with a better ending.
Weibe has such a different background than all the other Donkies in this movie. He actually made love to a woman, something i've yet to believe achievable from the other cast of characters. So with his family's frustration and disinterest towards him continuing his donkey Kong pursuit (farther than just beating the record in his garage), he goes out into the world to conquer this record live and in person. All the elements of Weibe's life/character made him one of the most likable underdogs ever...
I wrote a few too many insulting things in this comment, and that's not the point of reviewing a movie...maybe you can take all that to heart and give this movie a try. I think we've all known a few people (thoughout the entirety of our lives) who remind us of these characters, maybe the relatability is the biggest/most welcomed surprise...
The Ten (2007)
"Cat Scan miracle cure?"
This movie was horrible and i'm really disappointed that Paul Rudd felt the need to be part of this project.
Nothing whatsoever positive to say about this movie. I hope everyone that had a hand in it, including the multiple celebrity cameos, will think twice next time they have someone reading their scripts.
Completely pointless and worthless narration from Paul Rudd. The ten stories were often so mind-numbingly random and stupid, that the only thing worth keeping track of in this movie was which commandment was being mocked, so that you could assess how much more of the movie was left to sit through.
With the amazing cast of comedians/actors appearing in this film, i'm dumbfounded that I only laughed out loud once, even with the horrendous writing...it might as well be considered a talent to destroy the limitless possibilities of such an amazing cast with this stupid, unimaginative, and tacky screenplay.
I'll venture to say that a freshly lobotomized/retarded chimpanzee could write a better movie than this.
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)
First movie i've ever given 10 stars!
I love doing this, it keeps me from being entirely bored at work...anyways, I am one of the many faithful who ADORED harold and kumar go to white castle. that movie defines so much about my personality and sense of humor, so i've been tracking the sequel on this website for updates since the first time i got on IMDb.com...
holy hell, it was worth every single second of built-up anticipation. Me and my friends went through a bunch of crap to finally get tickets, including canceling our plans on the opening Friday, just missing every show (as they were sold out on sat. and yelling at each other about not missing the NFL draft) and we finally made it a late show on sun. The relief that we all felt after the movie was over couldn't have been a more welcomed emotion, as we all reflected on what felt like our own miniature adventure.
As the title of this critique suggests, i've never enjoyed a movie so much. Alls i could think about when going to the movie is the soundtrack in the first one, just one minute element that made that movie as "hip" and "cool" to me as it did. There are always going to be dumb comedies featuring pot-smoking, but the array of characters, relationship among harold and kumar, the soundtrack, and sense of being a part of the adventure in the movie are all the components that make these two movies sooo much freakin fun.
harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay is flawless!!
Smart People (2008)
I liked it quite a bit...
I definitely enjoyed this movie, and i suspected I would when i saw that the producers of "sideways" did this movie also. Dennis Quaid played a different type of character in this movie than those you normally see him play. He did a great job in this role as a very anal and inapproachable widowed professor. His daughter, who seems to be following in daddy's footsteps (Ellen Page) did a fantastic job as well. Rounding out the dysfunctional family is the estranged adopted brother: Thomas Haden Church. I grew up on wings, which makes it no surprise that he's my favorite character in the movie. He represents the antithesis of this father/daughter combo, and completely shakes up their very private and inaccessible little world.
all in all, i gave this movie 8 stars, not 10. the reasoning behind that is that Thomas Haden Church's character seems to react in a completely different manner than one would expect, after half of the movie has passed. That's a difficult sentence to interpret, i realize. What i'm trying to say is that his character turns in a direction that doesn't seem to follow suit from what you've learned of him in the first half of the movie. Obviously there's an event that triggers this change, but it still doesn't sit well with me.
Also; I don't really see the need for the brother character, he didn't bring much of anything to the movie at all...
anyways, worth the expense to see the movie.
There Will Be Blood (2007)
No-clever-summary-title...
So I've charged myself with the task of reviewing this movie because I sat through a very long 2.5 hours watching this Hollywood "earthquake seepage," with the complete and total intention of loving it. Everything i have read about this movie had peaked my interests and titillated my taste buds. I guess the point of my little intro here, is that i could not have been more willing to accept this movie as one of the all-time greats.
When i woke up this morning and went out to my car to go to work, i noticed that all my crap inside had been thrown around and my ipod had been stolen from the console. At least this incident, in which someone broke into my car overnight, was able to take my mind off of what a horrible movie this was...for a little while. I'd sooner forgive the soulless piece of garbage who stole my wonderful MP3 player, than Paul Thomas Anderson for taking a dump on a stack of papers and calling it a script. "there will be blood" has no substance, or storyline, or plot whatsoever. I could not agree more with the people who reviewed this movie as being awful. I also feel vindicated in accusing it of being a bunch of random, pointless scenes, loosely tied together to create a very unfulfilling "story." I'm not sure who in America really liked this movie, and why it is that they really liked this movie. This is the slowest, most improperly titled movie i've ever come across. For a movie named "there will be blood" to not have any real violence until after an hour and a forty minutes of some ancient western scenery and a delusional soundtrack had gone by, sounds like grounds for a "false advertising" suit. There was more blood in one "problem child" movie than the 3 hours of dreary, incompetent, confusing, and misguided story-telling of this movie.
real quickly on the soundtrack, Punch Drunk Love featured an un-mistakingly similar score...and it was marvelously perfect for that movie. If you're going to want this movie to sound like Punch Drunk Love, that's fine, just don't make it LOOK LIKE TOMBSTONE...
I do see how much potential there really is for this movie to take shape and find an intriguing direction to go in, instead all your privy to is the inappropriate soundtrack, lack of substantial supporting characters, and an un-earthing of a secret from young HW's past that really needed to become more than it was.
I watch movies constantly, I guess it's a side-effect of being an only child, or I just really enjoy the stories, histories, and experiences others have had, brought out into a film. In any case, i'd love to rally as much support as possible to have these people (who enjoyed this movie) to have their eyes opened...OUT DEMONS...OUT GHOSTS, AS LONG AS I HAVE A SOUL I WILL HATE YOU, AS LONG AS I HAVE A REMOTE I WILL 'STOP' YOU, AS LONG AS I HAVE A MOUTH I WILL SCORN YOU...LEAVE NOW 'THERE WILL BE BLOOD' AND NEVER RETURN!!!!
Nightmare Man (2006)
horrendous, terrible, awful, ungodly mess of cinematic CRAP
The whole reason i signed up or "registered" for this website was to comment on this film. This was the worst piece of garbage i've ever seen. this movie some how gained enough notoriety to be in "Horror fest," and i'm confident that it couldn't get a passing grade in an undergrad, beginning-film-making course. I hated everything about this movie, there isn't a single redeeming quality to it. there is nothing new, fresh, or distinct about this movie. This movie was my first experience with "Horror fest" ever, and because of it, I feel an overwhelming obligation to myself to never watch another "Horror fest" film again.
"Nightmare Man," you've tickled my gag reflex like no other movie before. I implore the cast, crew, production company, and director to abstain from ever getting near another camera again.