seasonalsalmon Reviews

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Better than Hollywood Godzilla

[8/10 · 3 May 2024]

This is a nicely written journey of a surviving kamikaze pilot on his way to his own personal redemption ... but instead of war as the background it's Godzilla. It feels kind of funny in a way but you stop laughing when the movie takes itself very seriously with cars, buildings and train cars thrown around like in the old live action series. It has it's nostalgic feel the way the citizens runs away from a giant monster while the drama between Shikishima and his family unfolds.

Godzilla's movements is true to the original and more grounded / believable, not like Hollywood's wrong and excessive use of CGI makes everything seem floaty and physics defying. It feels like a homage to the original series but with modern effects. Japanese modern movies are clearly evolving. There is a bit of overacting but that is very common to most Japanese movies, it has it's own charm. What I like about their most recent movies and even in animation as of late is that it's fully aware of cliches and how they try their best to mask it out to keep the audience from predicting what will happen next. I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

Arcadian (2024)

Good creature design, boring humans

[4/10 · 1 May 2024]

Ok with the boys being boring, unmemorable dialogue, copy-paste story from A Quiet Place and shaky camera I'll just go straight to the creature - This is a really well done animal / thing / whatever, cgi or not. The way it snaps it's jaws repeatedly reminds me of the creatures of the Darkwood game. Whatever that snapping thing does I have no idea, a missed opportunity to show how dangerous these creatures are ... But no, the adult kills are hidden and somehow they attack with the aim of a storm trooper. They also have a strange way of elongating a fingernail ... was it dangerous? Idk, it did nothing in the trap scene.

Just a single bat can knock them down easily. They are thought to be very dangerous at night but after several hours of the kids and Cage outside there seems to be little danger at all. Might as well just be a pack of wolves that somehow knows how to tunnel and roly-poly into the sunset.

I think the way they failed to show how dangerous these creatures are in the beginning was a huge mistake. Quiet Place did it to a child, they are not messing around. Arcadian 'things' can't even kill the teenagers or sheep. A wasted opportunity I say, now there's zero suspense.

Infested (2023)

Arachnophobia

[7/10 · 28 April 2024]

The very first Arachnophobia movie scared me as a kid, I haven't seen that in awhile and most bug/shark/gator movies do not scare me much these days. But this movie had managed to capture the truly unique take of trying to capture a giant spider using a glass container, it was truly terrifying cause some of us had to do that in real life. That, and the creepy crawlies zooming up real fast using your broom as a ladder. This is one of those movies that are not reliant on cheap jump scares but our own natural fears.

The only negative thing I could find about this piece is that the spiders grew up too fast, there was no segment for the passing of time. And some of the cast, kind of looks alike that I don't know who's who. Their mannerisms are the same and mostly were introduced once. But it made up for some good acting to push through the drama. That scream near the end was moving and filled the room with terror... then the lights went out.

Overall could've been better but it's pretty solid. It's well written, not using cheap gimmicks as a crutch. Spiders are realistic (except for some of the big ones) and made me somehow feel for some of the characters.

Fallout (2024– )

Some rough parts

[6/10 · 24 April 2024]

This had a lot of nostalgic elements from the games, it's music and set. I'm sure a lot of gamers like me would appreciate many parts of the world come to life. The main character is alright, she's full of pep and enthusiasm that would fit a vault dweller. But the ghoul is the main highlight of the show, he very quickly steals everyone else's attention, feels like the first few episodes of the Mandalorian.

Maximus however, had so much inconsistencies and later on he acts as if he's written by two different people.. Many parts of the series portrays him as very weak then later on acts like an experienced wastelander... then another episode of him acting all weak and stupid again. His inconsistencies like his disappearing branding and all of a sudden his idiocy was contagious enough to even affect the main character - who was naive the first parts of the series, then experienced, then suddenly back to being silly again. Perhaps the writers had rad poisoning. He is basically like Star Wars' Finn. Boring, uninteresting, I even had to google for the correct spelling of his name, that's how memorable he was.

Love interests in the entire series had no chemistry, no love and all business. Remove that and it won't affect the story at all.

The season ending was kind of everything I'd expect the series to end, but a bit flat.. there was chaos but I sense no excitement at all, even with the Ghoul appearing. Overall I'd give this a 6.5, it's the Ghoul that saved this series to be honest, I'd watch season 2 if it's just him.

The Empty Man (2020)

MIxed bag

[5/10 · 10 April 2024]

The first part was pretty good with the giant skeleton and all, I wish the entire movie could've stayed in that area. Skellies are not usually menacing in any film or game but the sfx and props people did a really good job.

The second part felt like it was written and directed by different people ... all of sudden we're in some kind of 'candy man' teenage dare horror flick that ended badly. Then it dragged on to some kind of cult group which somehow links the main protagonist into the mix. Their ideology made no sense since it's destructive yet at the same time they found it necessary to 'create' someone into being, or even living for that matter if they truly crave the void.

Out of Darkness (2022)

The village

[5/10 · 28 February 2024]

Do not look for cryptids, sabertooth tigers or any undiscovered predatory animals in this movie. Not even supernatural ones or you will leave disappointed. If you have seen Shyamalan's "The village" then you will understand and keep expectations low for any creature features.

Everything was wonderfully executed, but fell short in the end. The movie has beautiful backdrops, strangely devoid of any other life besides the actors (who are well groomed despite the dirt on their faces). The sound design keeps you on your toes and really makes you believe there's something out there. The characters are interesting and did a good job with them speaking a diff language with english subtitles ... all that's left is that monstrous 'something' hunting them down - which unfortunately is tied to the same old trope that humans = bad.

It's more of a drama and not a horror movie. I don't like how it's sort of marketed as a horror film, and it's ridiculous how they even made the camera angles upside down to make it appear demonic. It's all one big click bait.

Suzume (2022)

Beautiful as always

[6/10 · 19 February 2024]

Another gorgeous film by Makoto Shinkai. But after the past few movies like 'Weathering with you' and 'Your name', one can see some sort of pattern involving couples and how it flows like a romance novel - I mean, after all, he is actually a novelist so expect some cheesy love stories.

The story flows similarly to impending disasters and how two potential couples can get together to stop it but to the director's credit he really tried to make some parts of the story unpredictable and yet somehow ends the same way. Still some solid effort not be cliche.

Side character events were actually enjoyable and had some meaning in her journey ... yet somehow felt a bit too rushed but kind of necessary. It actually felt like a long journey. Those events were pleasant but not enough to pull any heartstrings.

The animation was great and the ending song was of course fantastic as always. I was expecting ninjas cutting onions in the end but, sadly it didn't happen. I don't understand it but there's absolutely some huge evidence of effort in the entire film but somehow lacking soul. Perhaps I was the wrong audience for his films despite enjoying most parts of it.

The Wailing (2016)

Shoves you away in the first half

[4/10 · 3 February 2024]

But reels you in on the second half. The protagonist made so many dumb decisions and not answering simple questions just for the sake of dramatic effect. Many of those decisions were sometimes infuriating, just like in 'The Mist' ending. Him being a cop made no sense due to how he acts speechless and air headed all the time. All this unnecessary drama effectively made the movie an extra hour longer than it should be.

I almost ended the movie at the first 1-2hours but I was curious about the ending and what was the supposed 'twists' in the story. I'm glad I stayed because the story picks up after all that mud you have to slog through. The ending and the 'reveals' were actually pretty interesting. It's one of those movies were you might be searching google about everyone else's interpretations of the ending.

I would've given this a 7 for the second half but had to deduct -3 for the sluggish first.

The Creator (2023)

It's a guessing game at this point

[4/10 · 16 November 2023]

I was a bit excited for this movie because Rogue One was actually well made. The first time they mentioned they were going after a 'secret weapon' I immediately thought "huh, I'll bet it's a child" ... and bam, we have a kid 'droid. At that point I had a feeling it'll be just one of those mediocre movies so I'll just a make a list of questionable things :

(1) One of the first few things the child said was "I wish for us robots/androids/ai to be free" - ugh, cringe. That same child watches cartoons of rebels attacking / killing the sky ship and every human on it.

(2) The child do not speak much the first few mins and speaks in non-english language, then later on speaks english for whatever reason. At the end when there were explosions everywhere the number of lines on her script shot up to 200-500% and in fluent english. Why? I dOn't KnOw

(3) Android ai religious figure tells us they cannot kill / euthanize humans, but the ai droids immediately threw a hand grenade at the two protagonists at the start of the movie without thinking they could be killing their savior, or a child. Oh don't forget the ice cream bomb sent by police bots.

(4) 'Avatar'-ish moments with giant tanks that somehow 'stealthily' sneaked up on them behind the trees. LOL

(5) Giant tanks singlehandedly brought down by a single anti-tank sticky mine.

(6) Giant space structures brought down with rebels cheering below, wow is this Star Wars?

(7) A hugely impractical suicide drone with legs which did little damage.

(8) Droids/Ai shooting at a van/truck filled with children.

(9) Too many convenient coincidences where the protagonist are always at the right place at the right time

(10) Droids can't shoot properly, just like storm troopers. For accurate machines they sure miss a lot. Of course the 'hero' gets every shot right.

(11) Transport exploded in a ball of fire from a sticky mine and somehow many of them survived. The same sticky bomb hit the back of the antagonist at the end of the movie with no fireball and minimal damage.

All in all with the pretty effects I couldn't figure out what I just watched. I have no feelings for any of the characters as the movie didn't effectively make us care for them. The first part felt a bit like 'Aliens', the 2nd part felt like 'Avatar' and lastly 'Star Wars', what is this movie trying to be? Some people are comparing this to Blade Runner but this movie is not that deep.

Blue Beetle (2023)

That was painful..

[2/10 · 6 October 2023]

The entire movie is. So you were 'chosen' to have superhero powers but the protagonist doesn't want it and instead just want a job? A JOB? No teenage boy or young adult would say that (Or even people with a job!), that's the part where I knew I'm in for a rough time. Well that, and the part where he bit into the taco and went 'mmmm' without even chewing for flavor.

Why was he 'chosen' again? Cause he white-knighted for the girl?

A chopper with a weapon is trying to kill/capture your family, beetle boy got a clear shot to incapacitate them all but one look at his father having a heart attack made him stop what he is doing. He didn't think for a second that by stopping the threat targeting EVERYONE might be a better decision than to stop and get emotional and thereby get caught anyway? OMG stop I can't watch anymore

So a few minutes later he would refuse to kill or at least permanently disable villains who would try and kill his family while at the same time his family members found it easy to step / impale soldiers with a huge bug leg. I'm so done with this.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)

Blood vessel

[5/10 · 30 August 2023]

I was totally okay with the the film 'til some dark skinned dude stood up on the theatre and preached about how their entire race has been victimised and oppressed for centuries while completely ignoring his education as a doctor / rocket scientist / physicist / whatever in Cambridge University. As a brown skinned lad from south east Asia I was a bit embarrassed and hope nobody would dare try and represent our political oppression in front of the movie where it is completely out of place. Oh snap, nevermind, that was IN the movie! I checked the year and yep, Hollywood is still on that phase again. The character could have said something else entirely and nothing would change. It was a face palm moment.

So anyway, CGI is actually well made as always, it's Hollywood's crutch. Nothing to write about in the music (was there music?), dialogue is slowly getting better but still boring. Not really in a mood to write a review if it weren't for that one cringe thing. The other similar movie 'Blood Vessel' started to look good because of this obvious stunt (even though it's not that good of a movie either). Hollywood writers can't create anything new as usual.

Werewolf by Night (2022 TV Movie)

Could've been longer, bloodier and darker

[6/10 · 28 November 2022]

I have to admit the B&W, setting and story was enjoyable. The homage to old 50's or so monster flick was a good idea. But Marvel has never learned to give up forced comedy ... it's like they hired a stand up comedian to write material for them which worked out great for the first films in the MCU but is getting more and more stale as he/she runs out of ideas. Every other mcu film has at least one forced awkwardness joke.

Some of the dialogue was really bad as well, I'm no writer but a regular viewer can cringe upon hearing thoughtless nonsense like:

"You hurt?" "Can I help you?" "-No."

"It has to be tight, and even" "Wow, thank you for that." "It has to be done right, because if not, it's not gonna work"

Seriously how can I take these characters seriously especially when most of the stuff they said sounds like fillers just to get to the main plot dialogue.

Speaking of taking the characters seriously ... these two are written just like Bruce Banner x Black Widow x Groot.

Despite all these distractions the film is still watchable in a way, it's clear that Marvel is experimenting here despite their over reliance to their formulaic ways.

Monster (2022–2024)

Unnecessarily long

[5/10 · 27 September 2022]

If you already know the story and details about Jeff Dahmer this series might bore you. A few hour long youtube documentaries can pretty much cover everything. Their idea to bounce off different timelines from childhood, adulthood, victims etc and vice versa reminded me of Marvel's Eternals ... the trend of applying too many flashbacks and fast forwards is a terrible story telling method.

His childhood and family history is interesting though together with the rest of the grieving victims, should be good for about 5-6 episodes... the rest of the series are just unnecessary fluff ... they keep on going back to the victims and eyewitnesses even after we already established their part in the story. And by adding more stuff it feels kinda low-key glorifying the serial killer.

Not sure about the accuracy of this series, I'm sure the directors/writers applied many forms of artistic license to add more drama.

The Secret World of Arrietty (2010)

Relaxing movie

[8/10 · 15 September 2022]

It's one of those rare movies with wonderful use of sound and music (in japanese audio at least, I never watch any japanese animation in english as it usually doesn't match the characters). The animation as well as the environment and lighting is top-notch as expected from ghibli. Story is predictable but it's never boring, there are so many cute moments from all the tiny objects and how they all interact with them.

It's more like a visual and auditory experience than to expect some complicated, thought provoking story and I can't find a flaw about it since it's still an enjoyable movie. This is one of those movies that is perfect for a rainy day or a quiet afternoon. And I thought I've seen every ghibli movie I was so surprised I missed this one.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

A comedy film that is not funny

[3/10 · 11 September 2022]

I didn't understand the hype back then after watching it today. 99% of the jokes are unfunny, majority are obviously forced that it's cringe worthy. I only mildly chuckled with Russel Crowe in a skirt. The goats are not funny either. This is probably one of those films best seen in a theater so you can listen to the audience laugh track, but it starts to look really bad and the imperfections crack open under close inspection with no help.

The acting on the majority of the crew is so bad that it feels like they shot this with only a few tries because the director has low standards on acting. I face palmed at the starting scenes of the child looking at the necklace looking 'ok'-ish and then suddenly at death's door a few frames later. That and the first god encounter was so bad and that was the beginning of the movie.

Christian Bales' Gorr is probably the only saving grace of this film, plus the music. He did a good job but .. unfortunately he only had a few mins of screen time while the shoehorn crew Korg and diversity token Valkyrie had majority of the screen time next to thor, and these side characters don't even add to anything at all in the story.

Lastly the CGI ... omg the floating head, what happened there? I loved the small-ish moon/asteroid where they fought though despite the problems with micro gravity. Bale is wasted, the cgi creatures was actually interesting(but unfortunately dies in 1-hit and easily pummelled by little children) , the final scene cgi is ok as well(the water scene, not the kids ... omg don't remind me, what is with Taika Waititi and kids).

Prey (I) (2022)

Back to roots

[7/10 · 6 August 2022]

I went in with very very low expectations and left pleasantly surprised. It's like going back to the very first 'Alien' woman protagonist.

I only have minimal complaints:

• one is they should've only spoken in their native language with added subtitles (like Apocalypto), their fluent american english is too distracting..
• I have to admit though she sticks out too much in the first half, it's like she doesn't really belong in that tribe, but with a bit of character development she manages to prove herself.

• And then there is the final scene which is a bit too much of a stretch (Ugh, there's just no way).

But those minor complaints don't bring down the rating by a lot, it's still watchable and it's like you just woke up from a long slumber of mediocre, political mouthpiece movies that never left you with suspense. Nothing is forced on the viewers so relax and enjoy the show that actually focuses on a story (which was predictable but still enjoyable).

Predator Dark Ages (2015)

Very good fan film

[6/10 · 24 July 2022]

Only found out this fan movie existed after someone recommended it from the comment section of the latest predator trailer coming up this year.

It's an alright quick film with a good budget setting, props/costumes look great and the acting is not distracting at all. These guys were amateurs? That was impressive.

The only issue were the team's reaction to the creature, it's like they saw a ghost and not even their fighting instincts kicked in.. it's just odd for 'experienced' killers. The final fight scene could've used some work too, it's like the protagonist is drunk or something, a better fight scene choreography would've made this film much much better.

The Black Phone (2021)

It's not terrifying, but good thriller

[7/10 · 16 July 2022]

It started out with some good story telling, we can finally get to know the characters not unlike recent movies of late. I mean what? On this day and age people are finally writing something? After all that woke garbage disney and the others have been spitting out this pandemic finally we get to see something different.

The 'IT' / 'Stranger things' theme is ok, not exactly a big fan of the trend but it is nice to go back to the roots once in a while. One thing that is noticeable about this movie is that it throws a LOT of curve balls, I think that is a good thing for horror movies since a lot of them are too predictable. Not figuring out what's going to happen next is a refreshing feeling, like a coin toss for each scene.

My only gripe was the ending, wishing it could have ended differently. I'm not that big on good endings for horror movies. When the police found buried bodies parallel to the boy's scene it reminded me of Silent Hill's eerie ending, I was hoping it stayed that way ... But surprisingly this version of the ending brought some satisfaction and I am fine either way.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Too long, too forced

[4/10 · 21 May 2022]

I love weird movies. But this movie is just ... ok. The 8.x rating makes no sense.. it's just an unnecessarily long mish mash of random things added in just for the sake of being weird and then finally a heart strings pull at the end. Sounds very much like the director's own movie 'Swiss Army Man' but with more of Radcliffe's corpses. Feels like movies like this were made because the creatives are tripping and is also obligated to deliver preachy themes and forced pandering.

The Batman (2022)

Could've been better but everything else feels forced

[5/10 · 30 April 2022]

I only liked the earlier parts with the monologue that has this strange Watchmen's Rorschach feel to it and it started to flow like a decent detective movie. But things dragged on from mid to the credits, they are trying too hard with the slow dramatic look of things and batman's forced expressions that look totally out of place.

He simply stood out with less than cooler gear and grounded more of his gadgets much closer to reality so in turn that made him less of a super hero but just some detective ... they shouldn't have called it batman at all.

Eternals (2021)

Another boring formula

[2/10 · 17 January 2022]

Like most of the films churned out from the MCU factory - the action scenes are terrific and that includes the visuals, sound fx etc. Don't forget the forced humor which can be a hit or miss.

Eternals started out slow and for some reason dragged on during the middle part of the movie, it's just that they added so much unnecessary paddings and subplots that don't really add anything to the movie. "Humans are bad" etc are so cliche now, like many other themes shoehorned in will sound so preachy it's an eye roller. Add to that they bounced off the story to many different timelines along history with the humans having very unrealistic reactions towards the eternals.

7000 years is too long, one would think it would dramatically change the thought processes or personality of the main characters but, no. Marvel has this problem with thousands of year-old characters, they are still bound to their original personalities seemingly unaffected by the times like it was just a month ago. And so the main character learned how to use her skills only at the end.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Stranger things with ghosts and a homage mixed in

[7/10 · 4 January 2022]

It started a bit slow with some really bad puns, nice scenery, ok-ish family formula and a love interest girl who... didn't really add much of anything. Things got really interesting near the end when familiar events and faces popped up, but wait... that's kind of a problem isn't it? Were the kids really the main characters here? Maybe for their connections but now I just want to see more of Bill Murray and the others. There's something off about their(family) character development.

The movie had some pacing problems and got bored from the beginning to the mid part of the movie but it doesn't matter. It's not perfect but I enjoyed it for their respect to past movies(except 2016) and the homage at the end, it's rare these days to find a heartfelt movie and this'll surely end your day in a positive note.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

It's an ok popcorn movie while ignoring the distracting characters

[5/10 · 22 December 2021]

I was surprised they were able to cram this much of the story lines from 1 & 2 without making it feel too rushed, that was well done. However the change in character looks are all too distracting, especially Leon, they also gave him the worst lines and forced character growth.

But overall I'm surprised as I set my expectations very low due to the deer caught in the headlights look of everyone in the trailer, it's 'ok'.

Cowboy Bebop (2021)

2 points for the visuals

[2/10 · 7 December 2021]

I just can't finish it... I stopped at around 5-6 episodes... I mean what, what the heck did they do to our Vicious... they made him so so lame. Every other reviewer has mentioned the bad cast and forced acting, none of them looked comfortable, so that's that.

And those anime episodes that makes you think about life in general? Nope, not here. Soul-less copies. You will not carry that weight here.

The Orville (2017–2022)

What is this series trying to be?

[5/10 · 7 December 2021]

Season 1 started out great, has interesting characters and plenty of unforced humor scattered throughout(mostly, some jokes are too cringe that makes you want to tell them to shut up). It's one of those series that do not need a laugh track to be funny. There were some serious political, social topics that were tackled but nothing as thought provoking as TNG. It's mostly social inter-personal issues. It's a trying-hard copy of tng but it's funny so it's fine.

However... in Season 2.. they tried to go into a more serious tone, so I'm not sure what they are trying to be here. They can't hope to get to the same level of writing as tng, the dialogue is simply too stupid for a serious show. And they removed a key officer, for what? For having a relationship with the directors? Whatever the real reason is the removal of a well loved character from season 1 to be replaced by an sjw karen does not sit well to the viewers. Forced replacement sticks out too much.

They could've just stuck to the humor, the action-packed season 2 doesn't stand out as it's becoming to be like any other mediocre sci-fi out there.