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House of the Dead (2003)
Worse than Dickie Roberts!
Holy Christ, I saw this movie and Dickie Roberts today and surprisingly enough, Dickie Roberts (the new David Spade movie) is actually much better than House of the Dead. This movie is complete garbage since the first scene. I am by no means a movie snob (hell - I just watched a David Spade movie), but this movie BLOWS. The characters are so pathetically one-sided and plot is just a train wreck. The worst scene (which is probably supposed to be the best) is when they run through the field of zombies to get the house. Even though its only about 30 feet it takes them 15 minutes to get there and they traverse half a mile. The field is crawling with zombies but somehow there are never more than one or two zombies near a character at any time. I can't imagine how anyone can think this is a good movie... I think the positive reviews of this movie must be done by people paid by the studio.
And although the movie did not break the cardinal rule of showing a good movie in the middle of your bad movie, they did feel the need to name drop Romero, as if to say, "'member these awesome zombie movies?Too bad you're watching this crapfest!"
0 out of 100 stars.
Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)
This movie RULES
Anyone that would give this movie a bad review and whine about suffering through it is a total jagoff. You know damn well what you are getting yourself into before pushing play. It stars Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley, Jr for chrissakes. Its like putting in Bio-Dome and hoping for an Oscar winning performance from Pauly Shore. If you are total snob, go find something else, but if you love movies that came on channel 54 when you were a kid, then this movie is right up your alley.
Foolin' Around (1980)
Best movie EVER.
No other movie has ever been made or will ever be made that can top Foolin' Around. Gary Busey's performance is pure genius. The amount of times someone gets hit in the nuts only leaves you wanting more. "Everytime I get around that guy something goes Haywire"...
Because Why (1993)
Where's the skating?!
Although this is an alright movie, I rented it because I was under the impression that somewhere, at some point in the movie, there would be some reference to skateboarding, what with there being a skateboard on the front AND back cover. After viewing the entire movie I was quite upset and upon closer inspection of the cover it appears the skateboards were superimposed to attract idiots like me to rent and/or buy this movie. I guess the movie would've been okay if I hadn't been waiting for skateboarding to come into the plot or at least be referenced to at some point.