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Reviews
Infinity Pool (2023)
The more you fast forward, the sooner you can enjoy the credits.
Pathetic storyline. Abysmal pacing. Hollywood thinks shooting a movie from different angles with attractive actors will make it worth watching. Maybe they're right. The American viewer isn't what it used to be. Thank god Alexander Skarsgard can tell people he knows Bill and Stellan, otherwise he'd be doing infomercials. And Mia Goth must be as immorally easy in real life as she portrays in her movies, otherwise she would never be in her movies. As for the rest of the actors I have no opinion. The only good thing I can say about this movie is.....It was in focus, and the sound designer probably came to work on time.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
What a joke, a really bad joke.
Fifteen minutes into the movie and I've writing this review while I'm watching the movie because I know I won't miss anything. Even the 70's WW series with Linda Carter was less campy than this movie. It's too bad, I really enjoyed the first Wonder Woman. As a matter of fact, I think stop watching this and go rent the 70's WW series. You should too.
The Prodigy (2019)
Another horror movie that makes you say why.
It's like watching a slasher movie in slow motion. "Leave your friends at the party and check out the weird noise in the barn by yourself." That's what this movie is only it takes 80 minutes for the mom and dad (morons) to make the same stupid decision. If the movie is free and you have no other options, including "Friday the 13th part 13th," then go ahead and watch this, otherwise, just watch some paint dry, or paint something and then watch it dry.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
Not just another possession film. The music and acting and direction makes this an instant classic.
I've read other reviews that really liked this movie say the music and tone makes it great. That's only half true. Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch are perfect in their parts. They don't over act and they don't under act. They react the way normal people would in the same situation, which makes this movie resonate with the viewers. Everything about this movie is top notch. And I watch 6 horror films a day, heed what I say :]
Alien Predator (2018)
I hope SAG dues are refundable, technically they weren't Acting.
If anyone involved in this movie got paid minimum wage, including the writers and producers, they were overpaid, and I'm in the wrong business. No point in saying anything more about this excrement.
Lost in Space (2018)
Old enough to watch original series when it aired, Young enough to enjoy this new series.
I like all movie and tv genres, but sci-fi and horror are my favorites. The key for any good movie or show in any genre is character development. If you don't care about the characters (whether it's the writing or the acting skills) There's no story line or special effects that can save a project. It didn't take long for me to feel empathy for all the characters, including Don West (Ignacio Serricchio, even though he can be a bit corny at times), and especially Dr. Smith (gender change was a shock and nice surprise). But Parker Posy makes the original Dr. Smith (Jonathon Harris) seem like a choir boy, which is a good thing, she's a great actress and probably my favorite on the show. I realize it doesn't have the following or the rating of GOT (which i've watch twice all the way through), but it'll be a shame if they don't make a Season 3 (and soon). The Family bond may be over the top for some and a myth in this day and age, but it sure does give people hope that somewhere in the real world it still exists.
The Wedding Pact (2014)
This review may sound evil, but sometimes the truth is evil.
I'm a movie junkie, and I'd rather watch a movie of people watching paint dry than do the dishes or walk my dog, oh yeah, I have son I forget to feed when Gilligan's Island is on. In order to watch a movie that no one else will watch including the producers, actors and editors that make the movie, I require only one pathetic quality out of three. If the story/directing sucks and the acting/dialogue sucks, but the actors are good looking, I'll make it through the movie (nudity helps). If the story/directing sucks, the actors are ugly but the acting/dialog is good (nudity optional), I'll make it through the movie. If the story is good, but the acting/dialog sucks and the actors are ugly (nudity optional), i'll make it through the movie. Unfortunately this movie lacks all three of a single requirements to make it through even half the movie. The story/directing sucks, the acting/dialog sucks, (big time) and every single actor (male and female) are ugly (nudity would only make it much much worse). The only reason I made it 20 minutes through the movie is because I was writing this review while it was playing in the back ground. I realize suicide is a serious problem in this country and anyone considering suicide should seek professional counsel. I only hope everyone involved in this movie especially the actors, do not seek professional counsel, and take the leap, off the nearest high rise.
An American Haunting (2005)
Zero's stars for scare factor. 3 stars for (3) Stooges factor.
I realize it's a little late to give a review for this movie. It was made before my mule died from pulling a wagon down in Kansas somewhere. I just painted my bedroom, and was watching it dry when I decided to play this movie on my fiancy television set. When she was in the air getting slapped in her bedroom, I laughed my ass off, all I could think about was Larry, Moe, Curly, gnuck, gnuck, gnuck. The only good part about the movie was that it wasn't a Connecticut Haunting in Georgia
The Predator (2018)
Hater's go to HE double toothpicks!!!
I'm 55 years old, I saw the Terminater at the theatre in my 2nd year of collage (lost the love of my life because I ignored her through the whole movie) and the first Predator after I graduated. Since then I've seen abominations regarding the Predator and Alien franchise. This one was different than all the rest in between. Two of the hottest girls that can act (hello Chuck, and Aaron Rogers what were you thinking), and a whole lot of jokes i'm going to pretend are mine at the next AARP meeting. Not to mention the action and graphics and male acting was more than adequate (i haven't heard that in a while). Two prostate glans up.
The Greatest Showman (2017)
Musical's suck, this one doesn't.......
I'm kind of a glass completely empty guy. Football is for whimps, not enough blood in UFC, at least lately. I had to watch this movie because my maid never existed and I couldn't find the remote. Music wasn't bad, chicks were kind of hot, even the guys were likable, Hugh and Zac, you'd have to be dead not to tip your hat. I usually watch sci fi, action, killing murder blood sex, bloody murder sex movies. This was a nice change.
Awaken the Shadowman (2017)
1 star is too high for this movie
Anyone that rates this movie higher than 1 star must be related to the mentally and intellectually challenged people that made this film. It's hard to say what is worse....the acting, directing, script or soundtrack. No suspense, no plot, no acting, no twists, no kidding. They thought scary music, that wasn't scary, would make the movie scary. I'm so embarrassed for everyone involved with this movie, especially Jean Smart. How the mediocre have fallen. She must have needed a couple bucks for a bottle of Wild Irish Rose.
Supergirl (2015)
I'd rather watch the weather channel at the North Pole
I watched 2 and a half episodes. Could not take the dialogue or the action scenes anymore. If you are an eight year old girl living in the 1950's (or a 13 year old boy going through puberty, Supergirl is OK looking) the show might interest you. I have to write more lines so this review will post. Blah, Blah, show sucks, Blah, Blah, show sucks, Blah, Blah, Supergirl should wear a bikini, Blah, Blah, show sucks, Blah, Blah, Flockhart had a face lift, Blah, Blah. This show sucks so bad there aren't enough good or bad things to say about it to fill up 10 lines. Blah, Blah, I know, let's cancel Firefly and Suburgatory and leave the Kardashians and add Supergirl. Oh thank god, 10 lines.
Last Man Standing (2011)
Way to ruin a good show
At the end of last season I would have rated this show 8 out of 10. Apparently, someone stepped on someone else's toes, and those toes belonged to someone very sensitive, or egotistical, or moronic. They had the oldest sister replaced. I don't think any of the cast members are replaceable, but especially her. The chemistry is gone. What's worse is they replaced her with a mind numbingly boring and annoying actress, who is also on the bad side of ugly. Her face looks like a Pufferfish. My girlfriend and I aren't supermodels (maybe when I was younger:) But neither are we actors. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to be beautiful to be an actor, but if you're not, at least have talent. If you're lacking looks and talent, why bother watching, I can see that at family reunions. I predict this is the shows last season. If not, maybe I'll tryout for Tim Allen's character next season.