united100 Reviews

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

Childish rubbish

[4/10 · 23 November 2005]

Any spoiler is pretty limited, but I'm keeping safe! I hadn't bothered watching Harry Potter films or reading the books until I had nothing better to do on Saturday night (the Real Madrid v Barcelona football match had just finished...3-0 Barcelona, who were absolutely brilliant) and some friends got me to go and see this one.

You'll probably have guessed that I had certain preconceptions about the whole Harry Potter thing. I really like good fantasy - I'm a massive fan of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films, but I'm afraid that I really can't understand how this can be thought of as being a remotely great film or anything remotely resembling a masterpiece.

My understanding of Harry Potter to date has been that each story has relied upon Harry being a reluctant hero who receives a call to action in the mould that Joseph Campbell outlined in Hero with a Thousand Faces. Nothing wrong with that...it was the plot device that gave us Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars film (which is, I think, a masterpiece). However, in this film (and I would presume the source novel) the device's use is just too contrived and weakly executed - particularly when Harry is already an established hero to his legion of fans.

The film itself seems also to struggle to fit the whole novel into its runtime. Even as someone who hasn't read the novel, it appears that sections may be missing, or too condensed. A thriller sub-plot that is only really touched upon throughout, transpires to be the crux of the film. And that is the real shame of this movie - a reasonably adult plot that children could appreciate is sacrificed in favour of easy options throughout.

Then there's the way that the film hangs together. It jumps around as if aimed at children whose supply of Ritalin has run out and produces unexplained statements as if from nowhere at a number of junctures. It has the cluttered "I'm going to save this fiasco by making it purely a kids film" feel of Star Wars Episode I.

The only way I can really sum it up, however, is to say that it is a ham-fisted combination of The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Worst Witch that seems like it was both plotted and scripted by Enid Blyton, working on a bad day...whilst hungover.

The only masterpieces that I saw on Saturday night were the two goals that Ronaldinho scored for Barcelona.

The Wicker Man (1973)

A cult film about cult practices...

[9/10 · 19 September 2003]

The best British horror film ever made? Probably, yes. The best horror film ever made? No. The best occult thriller ever? Quite possibly.

The film was in part conceived as a vehicle for Christopher Lee to get away from his Hammer roles and give him a chance to demonstrate that, yes, he could actually act. Perversely, however, the film is in many ways homage to the films produced by the Hammer studio and is at the same time their antithesis.

Although Lee's Lord Summerisle was certainly a stronger character than his Hammer caricatures, and was suitably sincere and sinister, it was left to Edward Woodward's bumbling, pious Highland Police Sergeant to carry the film.

The rest of the cast are not as strong as the two central characters. Famously, it was always suggested that Britt Ekland's voice was overdubbed for the entire film. Robin Hardy has now denied that, stating that only her singing was dubbed. Even if the other actors' performances fail to match those of Woodward and Lee, somehow, it doesn't detract from the film.

Almost as famous as The Wicker Man itself are the stories surrounding the film. The version first released was almost completely butchered from an original, almost grandiose cut of 102 minutes to a more concise 87. Christopher Lee has always maintained that this was a crime against the greatest piece of art with which he had ever been involved. The original negatives were then accidentally thrown out!

When a fuller version finally surfaced in 2001, Lee's contentions were (at least in part) proved. The film was overall improved, and save for a couple of points of rather clumsy editing (the flashbacks Edward Woodward has as the penny drops spring to mind) and the pointless scenes before the flight to the island, it ran more smoothly and made more sense.

The film's greatest asset comes through in whichever version you actually see. The eerie sinister atmosphere never fails to be conveyed. Somehow, the fictitious Scottish island setting of Summerisle, which could so easily turn twee at any moment steers clear of the territory occupied by Brigadoon or the now happily deceased BBC TV drama 'Monarch of the Glen'.

The setting's remoteness, which could have been its worst enemy, is actually its greatest ally.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the film, however, is the way that it steadfastly refuses to fit precisely into any genre. It is all at once a horror, a thriller and even a musical! Unbelievably, these things come together and fit into the film.

The music in The Wicker Man is unique, always adding just the right tone of eeriness or bawdiness to proceedings. A strange mix of elements including traditional folk music, it's as innovative and interesting as the soundtracks to Blade Runner, or The Virgin Suicides. The opening title sequence to the tune of Corn Rigs succeeds in transporting you with the plane over the remote coastal peninsulas and out into the Irish Sea towards Summerisle.

My only criticism of the film (and I really am nitpicking here) is the way it goes about establishing Sergeant Howie's Christianity. I can't conceive of the Howie character adhering to any religion other than one of the obscure forms of Presbyterian Protestantism practised in parts of the Highlands of Scotland. These scenes contain an apparent reverence for the sacraments that appears more Catholic in nature. This distinction in religious backgrounds is important to understanding Howie's attitudes. Nevertheless, I am truly nitpicking when I make this criticism!

But what ultimately makes this film is its ending. Without giving the game away for those who have not yet seen the film, it is inevitable, and yet wholly unexpected when it finally comes.

The Wicker Man would be a classic of its genre - if it had a genre. Instead, it has to be ranked as a classic film.

Speedball 2100 (2000 Video Game)

Further brutality

[11 August 2003]

This game shouldn't be good. It's a rehash of a game that was released almost a decade before. Very little has been added to the gameplay by the intervening 10 years. It should not be a good game.

However, this is Speedball 2100, the PlayStation rehash of the now legendary Amiga cult classic "Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe". Yes, one of the greatest games released on the greatest gaming platform ever seen in the early 1990's.

The game itself is clearly inspired by the original Rollerball movie. It's a space-age version of handball, with added ultra violence. Concentrate on scoring goals, or having members of the opposing team stretchered off - you'll get the same number of points for either!

The aim of the game is to take your team of no-hopers, the hapless Brutal Deluxe and form a squad of players that will within two league seasons win the league title and depose the strongest team in the game, the mighty Super Nashwan.

Brilliant fun.

The graphics are a marginal improvement and the only change worth noting in the gameplay is analogue 360 degree rotation, rather than the 8 positions available on the Amiga. The gameplay, however, was always brilliant on the Amiga - every bit as brilliant as anything that had ever previously been released and it remains superb.

Roll on the now rumoured Speedball 3.