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Kalgeo
Reviews
Old (2021)
If this horror movie was a condiment it would be mayonnaise with a splash of ketchup
I told my friend in the seat next that I really had to go to the bathroom when there was 10 minutes left and so he joked that I should just go in my water bottle so as to not miss the ending of Old (2021) and that was the most memorable moment of watching this movie.
Att göra en pudel (2006)
I love Lena Nyman!!
Lena Nyman is the only reason this movie does not get a 1 star. her acting makes the movie and the death of her character was very nicely done, a bittersweet and emotional scene.
But the rest... Oh the humanity. I did not care for the story. I did not emotionalize with any character. But all in all, as good as it could have been. It was nicely produced and the directing was all right.
This film entertains a Swedish audience. No doubt about it. But I was not entertained to an extent where i would tolerate this movie.
Sorry!
The Clonus Horror (1979)
Exciting? I think not!
I have now suffered through Parts, The Clonus Horror.
To have the word horror in the title of this movie is an insult to real horror.
The story was about a cloning-central owned by the "The man" They grow Clones for harvesting organs from the clones later on for the original humans in need of transplants. One clone escapes, The government gets angry and kills all involved, but the story somehow leaks out anyway.
It is Truly Shameful how a movie with potential is destroyed by amateurs such as Fiveson. The only thing he genuinely succeeded in doing was to weave in the concept of human rights and the very philosophical aspect, what makes a human a human, and would it be OK to grow clones for organic harvesting? Sadly, mediocre actors have been chosen and the plot has left town, until the very end in where a pathetic attempt is made to sum it up.
But!! What disturbed me the most was the introducing of new characters lacking actual relevance for the plot. Despite that, Fiveson feels the need to kill them off in a bad explosion which only Sir Coleman Francis Himself would be proud of.
The setting was interesting. How Fiveson thought that pulling out sheets of plastic and running water over them would make a believable river is beyond me, but I guess if you were to compare the setting to Coleman Francis' gray pasty oatmeal of a setting, this film would win.
Perhaps Coleman has changed what bad movies are for me. 3/10
It Takes Two (1995)
Yuck!! How I loathe these romantic comedies...
How I loathe these romantic comedies...
The only one who could have made this movie any worse is Owen Wilson, the king of senseless romantic comedies.
The comedy is not very intelligent. There are loads of falling jokes who are supposed to be funny.
The jokes are bad, and the story shines with its inconsistency.
Be honest people. Do these films ever work? I don't even like the concept. I have yet to see a genuinely intelligent and funny romantic. comedy.
Is it just me or ought America to be ashamed?
Night Train to Mundo Fine (1966)
I feel violated
Protagonist escapes prison. Protagonist meets two shady men. The three stooges travel in a plane to undergo an hour of training to invade Cuba for a pay of 1000 dollars, they receive 35. The invasion fails and they get captured. They escape and rush back to the us in a plane. Then follows a series of events that are coherent in no way, and it finishes with the protagonist getting shot.
This "film" should not be seen unless you are into BDSM or want to see how a bad film is done. It should serve as an example why a script is important, as well as a variable cast. A film will not turn out good if you go out in the desert with just a camera and a hand-picked cast of actors from the metal factory.
If you are to see this film, please note that the protagonist has no lines until a third of the film has passed and that your confusion is natural. Nobody understands what goes on.