I, like many others, thought this was an abolsute joke of a film. A complete waste of time. Unlike the other negative reviews however, I will try to illustrate this point a bit more construcively. All in all, it uses an ambiguous and vague set of circumstances that attempt to male you believe it is actually a thought-provoking mystery that is open to your own interpretation. This, it is not. It is a set of situations, fumbled together, one after another with an ending that is attempting to appear deep when in reality it is about as deep as an Adam Sandler film. You've got the government, you've got insanity, you've got the paranormal (considering it's not only the "crazy" guy who experiences the phenomenon in the end) and you've got wind farms too apparently? All are equally as plausible as they are inplausible because, as I have said, it's nothing more than a shoddily put together set of different scenarios masquerading as something more meaningful. And that is why this film is a load of tosh and worth nobody's time.
Reviews
12 Reviews
Curse of Chucky
(2013)
"Based on the evidence........
20 September 2020
..........the defendant is declared legally incompetent and remanded indefinitely to a facility for the criminally insane"
And the hours of footage saved on a laptop showing a doll going round murdering everyone, that wasn't used as evidence?
If it's gonna create a plot hole that monumentally massive then write the camera part out of the script.
And the hours of footage saved on a laptop showing a doll going round murdering everyone, that wasn't used as evidence?
If it's gonna create a plot hole that monumentally massive then write the camera part out of the script.
The Wire
(2002–2008)
By far the best show ever made......
4 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
......but, sorry guys, in your ruthless pursuit of realism you didn't think to use some poetic license when it came to Omar. Should've let him live, one of the best characters ever in one of the best shows ever. Poetic license guys!!! Come on!! Give the viewers a break! Nobody wanted him to die!
I originally put it at 9/10 because of Omar but had to change it, I didn't have the heart. It really is the greatest show that has ever been made, nothing will surpass this.
I originally put it at 9/10 because of Omar but had to change it, I didn't have the heart. It really is the greatest show that has ever been made, nothing will surpass this.
Freshwater
(2016)
You know you've got a great movie on your hands when......
1 September 2020
.........In the opening scene the girl walks up the jetty in shoes, close up on her face, she turns back, long shot again aaaaaaaand she's wearing flip flops. They even make a point of the flip flip being found in the water for God's sake! I swear, if there is any money in this stuff I've missed a trick. How bad a director do you have to be!?!? Lol.
Ouija Shark
(2020)
What's with all the bad reviews? Lol.
31 May 2020
Seriously!? I haven't laughed so hard since I got stoned for the first time!! It's bloody hilarious! For example, "besides, I'd like to catch some rays", puts sunglasses on leans back to relax and take in the sun even though they're sat at picnic table that is completely sheltered. How poor/lazy a writer and/or director do you have to be to not say "wait a minute, maybe we should have her go in the sun for that line, what do you reckon?".
Or when the shark is chasing the girl and she proceeds to hide behind a tree and, thinking out loud, says "he wants the groceries" and throws the bag of shopping on the floor. Yes my love, the carnivorous, flying ghost shark wants your shopping.
And the Dad, how good is the Dad??? Absolutely legendary performance.
I'd love to know how much these people get paid for this because if it's even half decent I'm getting involved. I know people always say "I could do that" in relation to things that they probably couldn't but this? Bloody hell, I could, you could, anyone could do what they do and probably better because there's no way anyone could be worse!!!
I have thrown it a bone and given it a 4 though because I really did find quite a few moments hysterical.
Or when the shark is chasing the girl and she proceeds to hide behind a tree and, thinking out loud, says "he wants the groceries" and throws the bag of shopping on the floor. Yes my love, the carnivorous, flying ghost shark wants your shopping.
And the Dad, how good is the Dad??? Absolutely legendary performance.
I'd love to know how much these people get paid for this because if it's even half decent I'm getting involved. I know people always say "I could do that" in relation to things that they probably couldn't but this? Bloody hell, I could, you could, anyone could do what they do and probably better because there's no way anyone could be worse!!!
I have thrown it a bone and given it a 4 though because I really did find quite a few moments hysterical.
Mother!
(2017)
What a load of ****
22 May 2020
Complete load of pretentious BS, just terrible, I'm pretty sure the sole purpose for this film was to provide material for the sort of person who went to Nepal once and had a "soul-defining" moment while sharing tea with a monk on a hill.
I was however tempted to give it 2 stars as it does have one redeeming feature, it can be used with pin point accuracy to identify a d***head within seconds.
New person : Hi, nice to meet you You : Hello, you too, have you seen the film "Mother"? New person : Oh yes of course, a masterpiece, I had to watch it 6/7 times just to really grasp the meaning of every little thing Aronofsky was trying to portray and the messages he was giving us. I believe that---- You : This isn't going to work, goodbye.
I was however tempted to give it 2 stars as it does have one redeeming feature, it can be used with pin point accuracy to identify a d***head within seconds.
New person : Hi, nice to meet you You : Hello, you too, have you seen the film "Mother"? New person : Oh yes of course, a masterpiece, I had to watch it 6/7 times just to really grasp the meaning of every little thing Aronofsky was trying to portray and the messages he was giving us. I believe that---- You : This isn't going to work, goodbye.
Zoo
(2015–2017)
How does this have a rating of nearly 7 out of 10??
15 March 2020
No gore, no swearing (I'm sure that doesn't bother some people but I'm sorry, if a bunch of lions have taken to calculated attacks on humans and 5 of them are running at you, I don't think most of the worlds population would be like "oh my fudging heck, we're in the poop now!!), absolutely horrendous acting, direction and writing and pretty pathetic CGI. And if all that wasn't enough, in the midst of apparently trying to save the world they are all appear to be functioning alcoholics! Every free minute they have they're hitting the hard liquor, every time they have a chance one of them will say I need a drink and head for the Vodka or the Whiskey bottle! It's bloody ridiculous!
So with all that in mind, what lunatics out there are giving this show a high rating!?! I don't mind the premise of it, albeit quite far-fetched but when a show or film is good that's not usually a problem (A giant shark hunting people down in a little seaside town or an alien that goes around the universe collecting trophies are just a couple that spring to mind). I could even forgive the lack of gore and swearing if it was actually a good show but the writing and acting is just so so bad it actually annoys you.
It's the sort of show that has me sitting there feeling like I made the wrong career choice because if those, wooden, cheese-ball, walking-cliches can get paid for that "acting" performance then I missed a bloody trick not going into that field myself! As did every single person in the world on that evidence!
Absolute load of tosh, made my self-isolation even more annoying!!
So with all that in mind, what lunatics out there are giving this show a high rating!?! I don't mind the premise of it, albeit quite far-fetched but when a show or film is good that's not usually a problem (A giant shark hunting people down in a little seaside town or an alien that goes around the universe collecting trophies are just a couple that spring to mind). I could even forgive the lack of gore and swearing if it was actually a good show but the writing and acting is just so so bad it actually annoys you.
It's the sort of show that has me sitting there feeling like I made the wrong career choice because if those, wooden, cheese-ball, walking-cliches can get paid for that "acting" performance then I missed a bloody trick not going into that field myself! As did every single person in the world on that evidence!
Absolute load of tosh, made my self-isolation even more annoying!!
The Ranch
(2016–2020)
WTF happened???
12 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
As the title says, WTF happened? One minute I'm watching a light-hearted comedy with the two best guys from "That 70's show" the next minute it gets all serious, Hyde gets threatened, runs away, dies and suddenly we're watching a soap opera! Once again, seriously, WTF happened??? So lost on this one, one of the strangest things I've seen in my years of watching TV shows.
Evil Things
(2009)
Dominic Perez, you owe me money and time.
29 June 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not exaggerating here when I say that i genuinely believe that this is one of the worst films I have ever seen.
For a start if you're going to make this sort of film then you could do with finding people that can actually act because those lot were just horrible. It's a psychological thing obviously with this type of film so crap actors means it's doomed to fail from the very beginning.
It was just terrible on the whole though. For anybody fortunate enough to come on here before paying to watch this sorry excuse for a film let me save you some time and sum up the entire film for you:
SPOILER ALERT!!! (I'm joking there by the way, there is literally nothing to spoil because nothing happens.)
5 people drive to a house, en route they get a bit lost and a menacing, slow moving van keeps popping up wherever they go. They get to house eventually, get lost (again) while on a walk, hear a branch break and run around in hysterics.
They find the house again, joyous celebrations and drinking ensue. Somebody phones the house, their car disappears, the van drives really slowly past the house, a door slams shut on someone and a girl screams.
THE END
I honestly feel like writing to the person responsible for this and asking for my money back, it was that bad.
For a start if you're going to make this sort of film then you could do with finding people that can actually act because those lot were just horrible. It's a psychological thing obviously with this type of film so crap actors means it's doomed to fail from the very beginning.
It was just terrible on the whole though. For anybody fortunate enough to come on here before paying to watch this sorry excuse for a film let me save you some time and sum up the entire film for you:
SPOILER ALERT!!! (I'm joking there by the way, there is literally nothing to spoil because nothing happens.)
5 people drive to a house, en route they get a bit lost and a menacing, slow moving van keeps popping up wherever they go. They get to house eventually, get lost (again) while on a walk, hear a branch break and run around in hysterics.
They find the house again, joyous celebrations and drinking ensue. Somebody phones the house, their car disappears, the van drives really slowly past the house, a door slams shut on someone and a girl screams.
THE END
I honestly feel like writing to the person responsible for this and asking for my money back, it was that bad.
The Woman
(I) (2011)
What an absolute load of rubbish.
22 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
6 out of 10? How in fresh hell has this joke of a film amassed such a score? I've never watched such utter crap in my life. I've had an account on here for 3 and half years and hardly ever write a review. However, I found this film so annoyingly bad that I felt compelled to rant about it.
The acting was so unbelievably bad that it made me cringe and the writing came across as so amateurish that it truly p!ssed me off. Even the choice of music throughout was absolutely terrible, I have honestly never been so utterly unimpressed with a sound track in any film as I was with this one. The storyline was useless and totally uninspiring. There's nearly 90 minutes of absolutely nothing happening followed by 10 minutes of over the top gore and then a nonsensical and ridiculously stupid ending where "The Woman" walks off back into the forest with a dog lady and takes the young daughter with her, for no obvious reason, leaving only the weird looking pregnant girl. It is literally terrible, I can't stop saying it. This film really did annoy me.
The way the story develops is just pathetic too. When you couple that with the rest of the flaws in this "film" it becomes completely impossible to immerse yourself in it and get involved with the characters.
I honestly don't think I have seen a film worse than this in my life. I've watched all sorts of things, from "Killer Clowns from Outer Space" to "The Godfather", "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" to "The Shawshank Redemption" and everything in between. Even the very worst have redeeming features. Ususally with the really poor films it ends up that they are so bad that they are actually quite funny and mildly entertaining. This film is neither, it is just irritatingly poor.
The acting was so unbelievably bad that it made me cringe and the writing came across as so amateurish that it truly p!ssed me off. Even the choice of music throughout was absolutely terrible, I have honestly never been so utterly unimpressed with a sound track in any film as I was with this one. The storyline was useless and totally uninspiring. There's nearly 90 minutes of absolutely nothing happening followed by 10 minutes of over the top gore and then a nonsensical and ridiculously stupid ending where "The Woman" walks off back into the forest with a dog lady and takes the young daughter with her, for no obvious reason, leaving only the weird looking pregnant girl. It is literally terrible, I can't stop saying it. This film really did annoy me.
The way the story develops is just pathetic too. When you couple that with the rest of the flaws in this "film" it becomes completely impossible to immerse yourself in it and get involved with the characters.
I honestly don't think I have seen a film worse than this in my life. I've watched all sorts of things, from "Killer Clowns from Outer Space" to "The Godfather", "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" to "The Shawshank Redemption" and everything in between. Even the very worst have redeeming features. Ususally with the really poor films it ends up that they are so bad that they are actually quite funny and mildly entertaining. This film is neither, it is just irritatingly poor.
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