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futurefeet
Reviews
Barry: ronny/lily (2019)
Grating, Idiotic
I've been loving this show. Please tell me this is an anomaly. This was absolute garbage. How do you take a show this good and make an episode that's this bad?
8½ (1963)
A great film to say you loved
I highly recommend this film to anyone who wants to say they've seen it. It's worth every excruciatingly boring minute of sitting through, so that you can pat yourself on the back while telling your pseudo-intellectual friends how brilliant it was. It's jam-packed with narcissism, misogyny, and masturbatory self-indulgence. Oh, and it's in Black and White! With subtitles! How cool and artsy is that?
So go ahead and bite the bullet. It's totally worth the hollow satisfaction you'll get from proclaiming its brilliance, which will, in turn, make you seem like you're one of the intellectual elite, who decide what is brilliant for the masses.
Party Down (2009)
Feels a little too familiar
This is not a terrible show, but it's certainly not a great show either. It feels a little too much like the formula of the office; Henry and Casey are the Jim and Pam, Ron is the Michael Scott, Roman is Dwight, etc. And in this case, the "Jim and Pam" characters are really not very likable. We're apparently supposed to like Henry, but he comes off like one of those too-cool-for-the-room a**holes.
It also relies a little too heavily on awkward situations to provide the comedy, but it never really delivers on the comedic promise of those situations. In short, the characters are too one-dimensional, and there just aren't many laughs.
Gomorra (2008)
Another painfully boring film that you're apparently supposed to like
I read all kinds of glowing reviews for this when it came out, so I took my girlfriend to see it in the theater. Midway through I turned to her and whispered, "I am so sorry!" Holy living f**k this was boring. Please let me help you to not waste your time watching it. It's too late for me, but I can still save you! Okay, so it's basically like someone was making four or five different amateur documentaries on their camcorder. One of them follows a couple of teenage boys in some very tedious scenes while they run around, shoot guns, and break stuff. Another one involves a guy running a sweatshop. Then there's another guy who's a mobster and goes around doing mobstery things (but no interesting mobstery things, mind you). Then there's a kid who joins a gang or something (it was so mind-numbingly boring I can barely remember). So then, they splice all these unrelated things together, apparently bribe all the critics to say it's a cinematic masterpiece, and TA-DA!! Don't say I didn't warn you. Avoid this if you like movies with a bare minimum of entertainment value.
It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine. (2007)
Can we PLEASE get real?
The fact that anyone is giving this 10 stars on IMDb is a testament to how gullible - and susceptible to suggestion - pretentious people are. You could project the most tedious garbage onto a screen, slap on the brand name of Crispin Glover, and these people will tell you it's a brilliant work of art, no matter what they just watched.
I have now seen the first two films of Crispin Glover's trilogy, and I did enjoy the first, to some degree. I'm a fan of bizarre thing in art; weird music, strange, off-beat films and such. "What Is It?", Glover's first film in the trilogy is an all-out assault of absurdity, bizarre imagery, and artistic/moral provocation. This didn't make it a great film, but it at least made it an interesting thing to witness.
I saw the second installment, "It Is Fine!", at a screening in Philly a couple of weeks ago. I saw several people walk out during the screening (despite paying 20 bucks to see it). So, to break it down a little, here are the problems with the film:
************* SPOILER ALERT *************
The lead actor, Steven Stewart, has cerebral palsy, and you can't understand anything he says, and there are no subtitles. So we're treated to some long, unintelligible monologues (fun!) The script is written by the lead actor, whose only interest seems to be living out his sexual fantasies on film. After he murders the first woman by strangling her, in very unconvincing fashion, he goes on to meet at least five more women, who are inexplicably attracted to him, after which they immediately have sex with him, and are killed by him. This is the whole movie. Just that thing I just described, happening over and over and over.
Does this sound like a great film to you yet? If so, have at it. As for me, I wish I hadn't wasted my time and money. The feeling I was left with was, "where do filmmakers like Crispin Glover get the balls to subject us to this worthless garbage?" If it's any indication of how bad this was, I was a fan, and was psyched to see this film. But after I saw it, I completely changed my mind. Obviously, I won't be looking for tickets for the third film.
Dexter (2006)
American Psycho for Dummies
I only made it through the first three episodes of the first season, so unless the show has gotten a whole lot better since then, which I doubt, I stand by my 1-star rating.
This show is kind of like what would happen if they decided to make American Psycho into a TV series, and hired the writers and of a cheesy sitcom, a director whose last project was a high school play, and actors who previously only worked in porn.
Okay, yes, Michael C. Hall is great in the show, but you know what he'd be even better in? A show with good writing and a decent supporting cast. I think the worst thing about the show has to be the voice-overs. They're just insulting. It's like they're saying, "Don't worry audience. We know it hurts to think, so we've done all the thinking for you. You see, Dexter is very much aware that he's a very hollow, emotionless killer, but just in case you forget, we'll have him remind you about every 3 minutes or so." The thing that sucks is, I really wanted to like this show. Great premise, great lead actor, but in the end, just a really crappy show.
There Will Be Blood (2007)
A movie about nothing - but not in that fun, Seinfeld-y way.
I'd like to state my case for why this movie doesn't belong on any top 100 list, or even a top 1,000 list.
Exhibit A: There is no story arc. Exhibit B: There is no character arc.
As brilliant and/or original as a filmmaker might be, he can't get around the need for those two things. TWBB has no story. Over the course of Plainview's life, a bunch of stuff happens. That's the best synopsis I could give you.
Also, people claim that this is a character study. Really?? How can a character study be interesting when the main character is completely stoical and one-dimensional? We never see any different sides of him. He's a callous, greedy young man at the beginning of the film, and a callous, greedy old man at the end. Wow, that's really fascinating, isn't it?
Daniel Day-Lewis is a great actor, but I disagree that this is a great performance, because it demands so little of him. It basically just demands that he do a John Huston impression while acting like a cold-hearted S.O.B., which is really not as hard as it looks.
As long as I live, I doubt I will ever understand what anyone saw in this film. It was the most excruciatingly dull film I've ever had to sit through in a theater. And I've seen The Brown Bunny!