Change Your Image
phil_gee
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Flesh Is Heir To (2020)
Good mystery
Good mystery with a very compelling final 1/3 of the movie. Some of the actors were very good, including Heather Michelle and the fellow who played Jordan, but a couple of others gave inconsistent performances.
The Handmaid's Tale (2017)
Plodding, unrealistic, politically predictable...but certainly different
The originality of this show, and good acting from some of the secondary characters, are all that save this from being unwatchable.
Overall, though, Handmaid's Tale is very slow-moving, and the plot is muddled in spots. Oh, and the politics are oh-so-predictable -- every villain seems right-of-center and/or Christian, and they assault women, gay people, and anything vaguely associated with human rights. That would be more tolerable (many movies/shows present similar views, so it's almost expected) if this series had any spark to it. But, alas, the buzz surrounding this show is far more exciting than anything happening in it.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (2016)
Pathetic Would Be An Improvement
The longest 90-minute movie you may ever see. A blatant money-grab, with no redeeming social value. As far as sequels go, Godfather 2 should not feel threatened. This turd gets a two rating rather than a one because I chuckled briefly a few times before I bailed to escape the pain.
The screenwriters stuffed this baby with a championship surplus of agonizingly transparent plot "twists," wildly implausible events, and trite dialogue. And, just when you think it's coming to an end, it continues...on and on. Trips from America to Australia appear to take less time.
The money shamelessly generated by the mercenary producers and actors of this stink bomb contributes to giving capitalism a bad name. Rating of 10 for AVOID.
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
Tedious, with tuneless music to boot
There must be another movie, in an alternate universe, that inspired all of the gushing reviews, both professional and consumer. The version I saw, however, was numbing.
The music was awful -- the kinds of tunes from the 1960s that never made it out of that decade, and for good reason: Bland, tuneless, masturbatory self-indulgence for the songwriter and performer, but torturous listening for the rest of us. Unfortunately, the Coens saw fit to showcase several of these masterpieces, in their entirety. That alone could send you to the bathroom to escape.
But, there was more (or less): An incredibly banal and tedious script, and acting that couldn't rise above it.
I went back to the snack bar for another quart of Diet Coke so I could stay awake while I waited for something to happen. The only thing that happened, though, was the Diet Coke.
Avoid.
Pain & Gain (2013)
The Gain is From Turning It Off
Pathetic...and anti-semitic to boot. When we saw we were 50 minutes in but still had 1:20 to go, we hit the destruct button. It was so painful, my knees were starting to ache.
The "plot"--bodybuilders who kidnap and torture a rich and obnoxious Jewish guy who works out at their gym--is really compelling, I assume, if you're about to start seventh grade. And, oh yeah, the director makes sure you know the guy is Jewish by way of repeated scenes of men wearing yarmulkes, and one scene with the guy himself wearing a Star of David. "Hey, he's a rich Jew! Get it? See what I'm talking about? You don't? OK, I'll show you again!"
The action here is cartoon-level only, and without any suspense either, as all of the outcomes are telegraphed.
I'd bet Markie Mark & Co. made money from this debacle, but you can do the future of filmdom a favor by not adding to their take.
Miss it!
The Big Wedding (2013)
You can count the laughs on one finger
Think of the stupidest, most contrived TV sitcom you've ever seen (there are so many to choose from, I know); that's the style and level of this "comedy." I figure the producers ran out of money after hiring so many stars, so they had to assign the scriptwriting to an intern. But not just any intern -- an intern whose idea of raucous humor is Robert De Niro falling down. In fact, that hilarious scene happens in the very beginning, and sets the stage for the painful 89 minutes still to come.
I would have turned it off right there, but my wife insists on watching even the worst dreck in this genre to the bitter end. I was forced to take several long trips to the bathroom -- "You don't have to pause it, honey" -- in order to survive without screaming.
Miss it.
The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Disappointing; Nothing Especially New
I kept watching based on the good reviews here. I was suckered.
This movie is simply a standard stab/gore bloodfest with a "twist" that is minor at best, and stupid at worst. To elevate this flick to anything more would be to misrepresent it as, apparently, many reviewers here have done.
Is it oh-so-totally cool to have a standard horror movie with maybe two or three smart lines of dialogue? I guess so, but that's not quite enough for me.
I did enjoy the prancings of the sexy young blonde. That's mostly standard for this type of movie, too, though.
The Iron Lady (2011)
Dismal Hatchet Job
The producers of this film obviously didn't like Thatcher's conservative politics and policies, but they had limited ammunition in that area, because her policies worked. So, they instead smeared the person by making her mentally-compromised old age the focus of the film.
The majority of the movie is devoted to showing an elderly, not-all-there Thatcher having conversations with her departed husband and forgetting things. Mixed in with that are flashbacks to her rise to prominence and her term as Prime Minister. But, the political episodes are presented in a muddled fashion, and her successes are never really explained.
To top it all off, the movie dragged, even though it was under two hours. Meryl Streep's performance was good, but it wasn't enough to rescue a drama in which the movie makers so obviously disliked their subject.
Love & Other Drugs (2010)
Just OK With Fits of Frenetic Direction
I was ready to turn this off literally two minutes after it started with sustained, frenetic, non-real-life pacing. But, my wife and daughter wouldn't let me. It calms down after maybe ten minutes -- perhaps the director took a Xanax -- but it gets stupidly frenetic at other times throughout. The biggest issue is that it drags; this movie could have been done easily in 85 minutes. Perhaps the director got paid by the frame.
The characters are just OK, though the storyline was at least a bit unusual (dealing with the illness of one of the leads). Jake G played a wise guy and BS artist -- never really likable -- and Anne Hathaway's character alternated between lovely/sympathetic and mousy/neurotic (though she does have a good reason for her neuroses).
In sum, a decent diversion that doesn't need to be paused if you have to go to the bathroom.
Unthinkable (2010)
Gripping Thriller Explores Important Issue
Is extreme, horrific torture in interrogation allowable if you could stop a WMD attack that would affect millions of innocent people? That's the issue this movie deals with, and it does so very well.
The pace of this movie is terrific and the performances are all sharp and believable. Samuel L. Jackson as "H" is the hyper-cruel torture artist you'll root for, and Carrie-Anne Moss is the attractive FBI agent who is morally opposed to torture. Michael Sheen (no relation to Martin and Charlie) is quite good as the villain who has planted WMD devices in three cities, though his physical visage isn't quite evil enough for my tastes.
The final hour of this flick moves so fast it feels like about 20 minutes. The only reason I don't rate it "10" is because the ending isn't definitive.
The Book of Eli (2010)
Predictable but Watchable
I like to watch post-Apocalyptic flicks because I usually enjoy the sets and the idea of survival after civilization tries to liquidate itself. Most are middling, though, in terms of originality and overall quality, and "Book of Eli" isn't an exception.
Denzel Washington gives a good performance as the stoic hero zealously protecting an "important book" (can you guess which one?) that survived the ultimate war's carnage, and Gary Oldman provides energy as the bad guy who wants the book to help him rule his little slice of the planet. Neither is outstanding, though. There's also the requisite sexy young thing, but I found her more annoying than cute -- and she was also way too young for Denzel (though he didn't try anything with her).
Great sets. Worth a watch on a slow Sunday afternoon, but you probably won't want to pause it if you go to the bathroom.
Elevator Girl (2010)
Bad Formula Flick
A flat, unimaginative script is the main killer for this numbing chick flick, but not the only culprit. This appears to be a team effort by the director, writer and actors. I stuck with it because my wife likes to watch movies until the end; since I love harmony with my wife, I forced myself to stay awake.
Hallmark Channel seems to be known for sappy flicks -- and sappy flicks have their place -- but this piece of junk would have been better as a high school film project (viewed by a few dozen people).
There was, perhaps, one clever line in the entire movie, though I can't recall it now. The lead characters were generic and boring, the plot was oh-so-predictable, and the score was incredibly annoying and ridiculous.
The key positive was that it was over in less than 90 minutes.
Peacock (2010)
Compelling Movie
...Spoiler right at the beginning of this review...
This movie might have earned a 9 if not for the non-ending. Maybe I'm not that deep, but I like a finite ending, or at least something that suggests a finite ending, rather than just a fade to black with the main character sitting in a chair.
The story involves a troubled young man with a split personality: He's a painfully shy, neurotic male bank clerk, and he's also his own "wife," with the two personalities often at odds with one another. ("I'm my own boss. My wife can't tell me what to do," the male personality declares stridently to the town sheriff.) The plot essentially profiles the clash between these two halves of the person. As I mention in the title of this review, this is compelling stuff, as the lead actor is superbly convincing in both roles. As others here have suggested, this is an Oscar-worthy performance.
Too bad the writer and/or director didn't have an ending.
For the Love of Grace (2008)
Banal Script, Flat Acting
The only positives about this movie -- and they carry this hunk of junk for about five minutes -- are the good looks of the main characters. From minute six onward, you'll be numbed by the completely unoriginal, shamefully unimaginative script and the amateur, cardboard-like performances of most of the actors. (The only actor with any life to him was the guy who played the brother of the leading man.) The only reason I stayed with this tripe is because I love my wife, she has to see every movie to the end, and I knew it was less than 90 minutes.
Here's the tired plot: Woman is engaged to guy who is clearly not for her and who keeps taking business calls while he's with her. At the same time, there's a widower firefighter who is having trouble coping with the recent loss of his wife. Woman meets him briefly at a bar, and they develop a rapport in about 15 seconds, but then they part. Guess who the woman is going to end up with? Well, we all know but, in case she couldn't figure it out, she accidentally sets her house on fire and the widower firefighter just happens to be walking by. Coincidence or fate? Are you riveted yet? The writer and director seem to strive to telegraph everything and eschew any level of subtlety. For example, the woman accidentally spills her drink on fireguy's shirt, and he shrugs it off. Then, about 10 minutes later, she spills a drink on fiancé's shirt and he moans about his expensive fabric being ruined. She couldn't have spilled it on his pants or his jacket? No, the director wants to make sure you understand this morality play of his -- one's cool about the shirt, one's not cool. Get it? Don't get it.