timleesongs Reviews

Blonde (2022)

An unrelentingly bleak story of Marilyn Monroe's troubled life.

[6/10 · 9 February 2023]

An unrelentingly bleak story of Marilyn Monroe's troubled life. Those unfamiliar with the backstory of Hollywood's most iconic woman may be shocked that many of the worst moments are based on fact, although others are more embellished or speculated, which dilutes some of the film's power somewhat.

In particular I disliked the complete tangent it took about the three way love story of Marilyn, Charlie Chaplin Jr and Edward G Robinson Jr that never happened and felt unnecessary.

Ana De Armas is superb in the lead and she manages the unthinkable in channelling Marilyn to eerie effect. Many of the scenes were harrowing to the point of almost being unwatchable, and many may struggle with the pain and vulnerability that lurked beneath the glamorous facade that was 'Marilyn.' In fact it took me several attempts to get through it all. But this biopic is certainly arresting and thought provoking and is well worth checking out.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Brian Henson maintains the heart of his father's work whilst staying surprisingly close to the source material. Christmas films don't get any better than this.

[10/10 · 17 December 2022]

The Muppets share their depiction of the classic Charles Dickens tale of a miserly old man who hates Christmas and sees it as frivolous and wasteful. Over the course of an evening he is visited by 3 ghosts who show him the real meaning of Christmas and love for his fellow man.

I always watch The Muppets Christmas Carol with a certain tinge of sadness as it was the first Muppets film Brian Henson directed after his visionary father Jim passed away. Brian does a truly inspiring job however, maintaining the humour and heart of his father's work whilst staying surprisingly close to the source material. Christmas films don't get much better than this, with perfect musical set pieces, an immersive world and hilarious characters.

If there's a better film for starting to wrap pressies to I don't wanna know about it! An essential watch every Christmas time.

L.A. Story (1991)

Bizarre mixture of spiritual love story and manic comedy doesn't quite work, but I have a soft spot for LA Story

[7/10 · 29 November 2022]

Weatherman Harris (Martin) yearns to find some kind of meaning in the cultural wasteland of LA. It isn't until he meets a quirky Englishwoman who opens his heart and gives him a spiritual reawakening.

Steve Martin's best attempt at remaking Annie Hall for the 90's fails to hit the same balance of that superior romantic comedy. It flits from wacky, surrealistic humour to expressionist love story and back again to such a degree you're never quite sure what kind of film you're watching.

I'll always have a soft spot for L. A Story, which was the first DVD I ever bought (I remember it being an amazing experience the first time I popped the disc in and saw the menus and the super crisp picture). The relationship between Martin and (real wife at the time) Victoria Tennant is a super sweet one, but the manic Jim Carey style physical comedy of Martin has aged less well.

I still enjoy L. A Story, but it certainly won't be everyone's cup of tea.

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

A masterclass in the potential of great science fiction

[10/10 · 22 November 2022]

The Borg and TNG team play cat and mouse through time as the former go back to Earth's past to try and assimilate humanity before they have chance to take to the stars. The team must go back and ensure that Zephran Cochran completes the invention of the warp drive and can make Earth's first contact with a benign alien race (the Vulcans).

If the original crew's big screen transition really happened on their second film (The Wrath of Kahn), the same could be said for the Next Generation on their sophomore effort First Contact.

Like Kahn, the team take on their most notable enemy on their second outing, with the Borg Queen being played with sinister sensuality by Alice Krige. Data too, as played by Brent Spiner shows a multiplicity of emotions we've rarely seen in an onscreen android. The chemistry is great between all players in fact.

If you ever needed a masterclass in what a great Star Trek film can be, it's all here. Palpable tension and pace, all the main players at the top of their game and a memorable and well executed plot. First Contact is essential viewing not only for Trek fans but all fans of classic science fiction.

Star Trek: Generations (1994)

Doesn't fall into the easy 'novelty cross over' trap and is surprisingly good.

[6/10 · 22 November 2022]

Doctor Soran, an El-Aurian (like Guinan) is obsessed with getting back to the Nexus, (space heaven) and will do anything to get there, including endangering the lives of millions of people. Across time, captains old and new must team up to stop him.

Generations is a lot better than I would have expected. What could've easily been a novelty tie-in between the original show and the Next Generation is written well enough not to fall into this trap. Malcolm McDowell makes for an intriguing enemy and Jean-Luc and Kirk have good if sadly fleeting chemistry.

It's sad to see Kirk go, and fans of the original series don't get a great deal of time or balance in comparison with the later crew. Fans of the Next Generation will also find more to love about their subsequent film adventures.

But in the main, Generations is a highly watchable and entertaining addition to the series.

Saludos Amigos (1942)

Disney combines education and entertainment in this atypical curiosity

[5/10 · 20 November 2022]

A bit of a novelty in the Disney pantheon this one. A research trip into animating South African cultures, which are then played out by Donald the Duck, Goofy and friends. The film combines documentary live action and then animated skits based on their findings. It's twee music does give a bit of a 'aren't foreigners quirky' angle which hasn't aged well. For many North American kids however, this would've been an accessible introduction to different countries which is a noble intention in itself. It's also Disney's first forays into telling the stories of different indigenous people. An attempt at a fun but educational film which is a worth while curiosity but not a particular highlight of the animated Disney catalogue.

The Fly (1986)

A potentially daft idea becomes a 80s horror must-see, thanks to the wonderful combination of Goldblum, Davis and Cronenburg.

[8/10 · 30 October 2022]

David Cronenberg brings his 'theatre of the grotesque' to this 80's remake of the 50's sci-fi horror classic.

Seth is a brilliant scientist who has found a way to harness the power of transportation. When trying to transport himself however, a fly gets stuck in the 'pod' and they are inextricably fused together. Over time the fly part of the fusion begins to take over and a battle ensues between Seth and his new insect mind.

This film could've so easily have been reduced to a ridiculous b-movie, yet Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis sell it so well and you genuinely care about their characters. This, combined with effects that still have the power to shock make The Fly one of the most memorable 80s horror films to this day.

The Thing from Another World (1951)

Whilst perhaps not as shocking or memorable as the remake, this is a great example of the 1950's invasion film done right.

[8/10 · 8 October 2022]

The Thing From Another World (1951)

Representatives from the US Airforce, scientists and press travel to the North Pole to investigate a UFO frozen in the ice. They decide to melt the ship with thermal bombs, but manage to destroy it in the process. But the ship's alien pilot survives, and starts to defrost!

The tension of the stranded team is palpable in this classic 'base under siege' and the thawing of the 'monster' is particularly suspenseful.

I liked the characters, but the 50's style of everyone talking super fast over each other (which I'm guessing is the director's way of trying to bring a realism to the dialogue) is irritating and distracting at times.

Whilst perhaps not as shocking or memorable as the remake, this is a great example of the 1950's invasion film done right.

Bambi (1942)

Super cute and charming tale that younger children and kids at heart will love

[8/10 · 2 October 2022]

Bambi (1942)

A 'young Prince' baby deer is born into a harmonious land of different woodland creatures.

That is until hunters enter the forest and take little Bambi's mother away from him (in one of the most tragic scenes in all of cinema history). He must learn to grow into a stag with only his little rabbit pal Thumper and other forest friends to help him.

A story ahead of it's time in some ways, with its message of man's destructive effect on nature. Whilst perhaps not as action packed as some other Disney films, this is a super cute and charming tale that younger children in particular will love. And young kids at heart (like me) too of course!

Caligula (1979)

Caligula still has the power to shock, yet it is more controversial than it is artistically unique

[6/10 · 24 September 2022]

Caligula sees an evil Roman heir delve the depths of depravity as he is gifted the supreme power of Cesar of Rome and 'leader of the world.'

An experiment in what they could get away with at the time, Caligula still has some of the power to shock with its gratuitous depiction of sex and violence, which it weaves into a rather dark and nasty film.

Caligula isn't without its merits, as everyone involved (and there are some notable names involved) plays their part well, particularly a young Malcolm McDowel who once again captivates in the same reptilian way he did in A Clockwork Orange some 8 years earlier. The cinematography is grand and theatrical and the direction is compelling.

But there is little to make the film artistically as unique as it is controversial.

Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)

I found Raya and the Last Dragon more like watching a video game cutscene than an engaging story

[2/10 · 10 September 2022]

Raya lives in a land where dragons are worshipped but the people are divided. She goes off on an adventure to find the last of the fabled dragons and try to heal her land.

Maybe I need to rewatch it, but I just didn't care about the characters or the story and I found Raya and the Last Dragon more like watching a video game cutscene than an engaging story. Within minutes I had lost all focus or interest in the film and if my life depended on it I couldn't recall any of the characters' names.

Spellbinding visuals can't make up for a film I felt very little connection with. Is it me just being a grumpy old man, or are modern Disney films trying too hard to be 'cool,' in sacrifice of good movies now?

Encanto (2021)

Great music and animation, forgettable characters and plot

[4/10 · 10 September 2022]

For Disney's 60th animated movie we join Mirabel Madrigal, the non-magical daughter of a famous magical family.

She worries that she'll be forever 'normal' and mediocre...until she she discovers she has the power of future visions like Bruno, the shunned foreteller of doom whom the family have mistaken for a bringer of curses.

There is wonderful music and atmospheric animation throughout and the timeless story of finding your own way when you feel unremarkable or different will no doubt resonate with its audience.

I found the film and it's characters to be quite forgettable however and Encanto is perhaps not one of the best Disney films I've seen. But the great music and animation make it still highly watchable.

Dumbo (1941)

Upsetting for young kids, but you can't help but love the little guy

[6/10 · 10 September 2022]

Dumbo (1941)

Poor little Dumbo is ostracised because of his massive ears and his doting mother is locked away as a 'mad elephant' for protecting him against bullies. A sympathetic mouse makes friends with him and helps him to deal with the nasty herd and the rest of the circus.

The shortest film so far at just over an hour is also one of the most upsetting for young kids, with the cutest of baby elephants being threatened, bullied and mistreated throughout by pretty much everyone he meets. It's pretty dark, sad stuff.

The use of animals in circuses will also be an anathema to modern audiences, and the scene where little baby Dumbo gets so drunk he hallucinates will date it even further...can you imagine that happening in a kid's film today?!...and don't even get me started on the crows.

But you can't help but love the poor little guy and root for him throughout and it's great to see how he overcomes the diversity that faces him.

Fantasia (1940)

Walt Disney's most pure piece of art

[10/10 · 10 September 2022]

Fantasia (1940)

Walt Disney's most artistic statement sees classical masterpieces brought to new life through imaginative and memorable animated interpretations.

It's a truly revolutionary vision and certainly avant-guarde for its time. Ahead of it's time and no doubt influential on the visionaries of 60s and 70s psychedelia that were to come 20-30 years later.

There is a lot of narration to help you feel like you are at the theatre, which makes for quite a unique experience.

I can't imagine it captivating kids today, but there is a lot to admire and What is Disney's most pure piece of art.

Pinocchio (1940)

Charming tale with a strong morale centre

[6/10 · 10 September 2022]

A wooden puppet is brought to life by the wish of his maker and a fairy. In order to become a real boy however he has to learn to be good and true and avoid temptation.

It's another charming tale with a strong morale centre and truly classic songs including the Disney staple When You Wish Upon a Star.

There are a few dated references and jokes (after all this is 82 years ago!) and whether it'll be enough to keep modern kids enthralled isn't certain. But this big kid enjoyed revisiting this classic. Pinocchio is definitely worth a watch and shows a great deal of imagination and inventiveness as only the second Disney animated film.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

For a film now some EIGHTY FIVE years old, it's incredible that it is still so watchable and inspirational to this day.

[9/10 · 10 September 2022]

An evil Queen becomes obsessed with being the most beautiful woman in all the kingdom and vows to kills her stepdaughter Snow White when she grows to take that place.

Snow White flees into the woods, where she is found by a gang of friendly dwarfs.

It doesn't matter how much I see this Walt Disney debut, I'm always in awe of what the studio managed to achieve in 1937.

Sure the characters are deeply rooted in the melodrama style of the time and it may seem cliche in comparison to modern animated films. But it's important to keep in mind that the reason for this is because it invented most of those cliches in the first place.

And for a film now some EIGHTY FIVE years old, it's incredible that it is still so watchable and inspirational to this day. Not to mention the technical advances it showcased, from rotoscoping to multiplane camera trickery. It's not only a great kid's film, but a milestone in film history.

Hellraiser (1987)

There is no denying this is a visually striking and unique

[7/10 · 15 June 2022]

An evil man escapes from Hell and illicits the help of his brother's wife and ex lover to murder people and use the blood to bring him back to life. But it's not long until Hell's administrators of torture are out to catch him.

A classic 80's video nasty, Hellraiser is gory and dark, showcasing the best of body horror that John Carpenter had spearheaded in films like the Thing in 1982.

The characters are all thoroughly dislikable and the effects so over the top as to make them ironically seem cheap and b-movie. But there is no denying this is a visually striking and unique in its style and presentation, and the Cenobites, particularly Pinhead instantly become historic horror movie icons.

The Notebook (2004)

The younger couple had little of the chemistry of their older counterparts

[4/10 · 3 April 2022]

The Notebook follows the love affair of a couple from different 'worlds' from their chance meeting at a fairground to living with dementia in the woman's twilight years.

I found all the scenes with couple in their old age were so emotional and touching, and had this been the majority of the film I would've scored it a lot higher. But I just didn't connect with the younger couple and found the chemistry strangely lacking between them (it's bizarre to think they were a real life couple for years afterwards) and the Notebook left me strangely cold until it's last 10 minutes.

Three Colors: White (1994)

Polish man left destitute by his cruel wife hides himself in a suitcase and plots his revenge.

[8/10 · 2 April 2022]

A Polish man is divorced by his wife and left penniless on the streets of Paris. Hiding himself in a suitcase, he manages to get back to Poland, where he plots his financial recovery and revenge against his ex-wife.

Like 'Blue,' this is a very tragic film that pulls at the heartstrings, but unlike the first film it relies more on plot than meditating on emotion. Considered to be the most lighthearted of the trilogy, White is a dark 'comedy' in which you really feel for the down trodden man who suffers so much at the hands of a cold and cruel ex-wife, which only adds to the satisfaction when he is eventually vindicated of all the pain she has caused him, albeit through rather drastic measures!

As with Bleu, this is beautifully acted and directed and evokes the senses throughout. The clever use of the White colour grading and symbolism really gives the film its own individual atmosphere.

I really can't understand why this is seen as the poorest of the three. The story, the acting, the cinematography - everything is perfect.

Dog (I) (2022)

Confusing target audience, but surprisingly poignant.

[4/10 · 20 February 2022]

A soldier suffering from PTSE is tasked with taking his dead buddy's equally messed up attack dog across the country to the funeral.

This was one of those 'it was the only film on at the time' cinema visits that I wouldn't have picked myself, and I hadn't got a clue what to expect really. My expectations were that this was going to be a fluffy 'goofball comedy,' but it's actually a beautifully shot and surprisingly poignant buddy story of two souls damaged by the shared experience of war.

There are moments that really didn't work, such as the rather tasteless segment of the film where Tatum pretends to be blind to get a fancy hotel room with his 'guide dog,' and at times this movie doesn't really know whether it wants to be a drama or a comedy.

There were a fair few kids in the cinema who left upset by the more adult scenes of violence in the film, who's parents must've thought it was the usual screwy kids film from the confusing title and poster.

Not a film I would watch again, but it's a story worth telling and is a lot better than it appears on first glance.

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

Epic but wearisome story of grunting cavemen against ridiculously inaccurate monsters.

[2/10 · 16 January 2022]

A caveman is ostracised from his tribe, and walks the Earth trying to survive until he runs into another tribe and must prove himself.

You've got to admire Hammer for trying something so epic on a small budget, and there are certainly elements that save this film from being totally unwatchable (Ray Harryhausen's wonderful effects and Raquel Welsh's striking screen presence).

But a full film filled with cavemen grunting against ridiculously inaccurate monsters wears thin very quickly.

Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Silly, hilarious and instantly quotable.

[10/10 · 16 January 2022]

Harry and Lloyd travel across the country to return a bag to Lloyd's true love; unaware that it is full of the ransom money needed to release her husband.

Along with Airplane! Dumb and Dumber is my 'go to' film when I need something silly, hilarious and instantly quotable.

I've lost track of how many times I've watched it, but could easily recite every line.

The Witches (1966)

Joan Fontaine brings star power to this badly paced village horror

[6/10 · 15 January 2022]

The Witches (1966)

Of course not to be confused with the classic Roald Dahl story or film adaptation, 1966's 'The Witches' stars Hollywood legend Joan Fontaine as a headteacher who moves to a seemingly quiet village to take on a new post. Over time she realises there is much darkness at work under the veneer of this respectable, friendly community.

I could definitely feel shades of the later Wicker Man and the influences on League of Gentleman writer (and Hammer nut) Mark Gatiss in this tale of the evil lurking behind the banality of a countryside English village. Fontaine brings star power and class to the role, but it takes rather a long time to get to the point and then wraps that point up in the last 20 minutes of the film. Indeed the conclusion, which suddenly sees the townsfolk freed from their demonic possession as if nothing has happened seemed very lightweight and disappointing in comparison to the dramatic and memorable ending of The Wicker Man for example.

It's a fun addition to the Hammer catalogue and is certainly worth a watch, but is not one I would return to often.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Interesting, beautifully shot, but not one of Kubrick's I would watch again.

[5/10 · 6 January 2022]

A New York Doctor finds out his wife has been fantasising about another man. Enraged. He sets off on a sexual obsession of his own...which leads to him unwittingly stumbling upon a dangerous sex cult that threatens to rip apart everything he holds dear and endanger his and his family's lives.

Kubrick takes a swipe at an immoral and insular elite establishment that he clearly feels at odds with in this strange but suspenseful thriller.

Although I found it a very intriguing film, it misfires on a lot of different elements for me. For a film primarily about sex and power it felt strangely sexless and cold. There is a weird slurred way that everyone talks, as if they are on the verge of sleep throughout. Although I usually like Nicole Kidman, she seemed to be wandering through this one in a bit of a daze; hamming it up in some scenes, sleepwalking through others. The rest of the female characters seem little more than mannequins. Tom Cruise is better in this than I'd expected for such a different sort of film for him; although you can't help but see the irony of his casting of a guy who becomes embroiled in a dangerous cult when we now know his connection with Scientology.

Although the threat is palpable throughout, the film doesn't give enough answers or payoffs to give you any kind of fulfilment by the time it reaches its all-to stunted and frustrating climax.

Interesting, beautifully shot, but not one of Kubrick's I would watch again.

They Live (1988)

An ingenious premise coated in a seriously tacky shell.

[7/10 · 6 January 2022]

Often called 'The Citizen Kane of 'B' Movies,' They Live sees an ingenious premise coated in a seriously tacky shell.

The 'everyday aliens' are genuinely creepy and Roddy Piper is surprisingly compelling as our leading man, in spite of his more well known wrestling persona. Yet ridiculous scenes like the everlasting fight scene that would rival family guy's Peter and the giant chicken and lines like 'life's a bitch...and she's back in heat' will detract somewhat from the seriousness of the message.

The obvious social commentary about the dangers of consumerist society stand up just as well today as it did in the 'greed is good' decade; and although They Live would never win any awards for subtlety, it's an entertaining and at times thought provoking slice of 80's action that's well worth a watch.