eabra48463 Reviews

Uncharted (2022)

A Surprisingly Boring Film

[3/10 · 3 April 2024]

For a video game adaptation, this film is amazingly boring. It includes characters that are not likable, a script that plays like it was written by an eighth-grader and CGI-laden action scenes that simply don't excite. For an "action movie," there is a lot of dramatic talking with little action occurring. Instead, we get plenty of breathy dialogue and little else. For an almost two-hour run-time, most of the film is set-up material, slow-moving and uneventful; Mark Wahlberg and Antonio Banderas add little to the mix. They seem to be there to collect a pay check. The days when filmmakers labored to craft movies with care, technique and painstaking attention to detail appear to be over forever. Instead, we get films like "Uncharted," that rely upon gimmicks and computer-imaging to hold audience attention.

Dumb Money (2023)

The Epitome of What's Wrong with Hollywood

[3/10 · 25 March 2024]

"Dumb Money" epitomizes everything that's wrong with modern Hollywood in one package. The movie takes a real-life intriguing situation and turns it into garbage aimed at the lowest common denominator. It doesn't address the topic in an interesting manner, not in an educational manner and not in an exciting manner. It hammers nonsense over the viewers' heads until they scream for mercy. It's shot in quick and short snippets that are often used in modern films to simulate more going on than what is really on screen. Very little of the GameStop situation is explained in any meaningful way and the characters flash by on sccreen so quickly from scene to scene, we hardly have time to care about them. To make matters worse, the soundtrack regularly bursts into the film unexpectedly and awkwardly, blasting vulgar lines from rap songs that don't even meld with what is being shown on the screen. The characters mumble their lines, then the music is cranked up to unnecessary high volumes. I had to constantly adjust the volume up and down to tolerate the movie. The film is executed in such a muddled fashion, there is no clear message received, other than the typical Hollywood class warfare nonsense where rich people are always evil and poor and working class are always upstanding and good-intentioned. At least that's what I think was the message. Who knows? One message that was abundantly clear: Once the average Janes and Joes started making a lot of money (on paper), they refused to sell in the hopes of making even more cash. This is exactly what we're supposed to dislike about the billionaires in the film, always wanting more and never being satisfied with what they have.

Lie Hard (2022)

Good Premise Ruined

[3/10 · 24 March 2024]

"Lie Hard" takes a promising premise, a guy getting into trouble with "the mob" while trying to impress his girlfriend and her family, and totally blows it on about 90 minutes of nothing. After the setup, where "Rob" borrows $4M to buy a mansion to convince his girlfriend he's something special, the film goes off the rails. A strange neighbor tells Rob there is big money stored somewhere in the mansion he bought. This could have taken the film (and audience) in an interesting direction. But, the whole thing nosedives into a mess. The writer and director simply didn't know what to do from there and seemed to just wing it. A film that could have been so much better turns into an attempt by the filmmakers to just fill the time up on screen. Jokes fall flat, weak stereotypical characters are introduced and proceed to flounder on screen, the money hidden in the house angle goes nowhere and everything has a flat feel. Unless you're really desperate, there probably isn't a good reason to watch this film.

Retribution (I) (2023)

Absolutely Ludicrous Film from Start to Finish

[3/10 · 10 March 2024]

Don't believe any of the positive reviews for this film; it is a terrible production in every way and giving it three stars is actually generous. Liam Neeson plays a successful business person who gets "trapped" inside his Mercedes with his children by a mysterious caller who has placed a bomb under the seat of the vehicle. Neeson is told to follow instructions and not leave his seat or the bomb will blow; absurdity ensues. One example is sufficient to convey the ludicrous nature of the plot. The cops refuse to believe Neeson after he desperately tells them there is a bomb under his seat, despite the fact his own kids are in the back of the vehicle and there were already multiple car bombs in the city that very day! What does it take for a guy to get any credibility with the cops? What would be his motivation in lying? Therein lies another problem with the film: The motivation of any of the characters is lacking; we don't know why anyone does what they do and the filmmakers seem to think this doesn't matter.

The holes in the plot and lack of character development could be overlooked if the movie was actually entertaining. This, however, was too much to ask. Neeson spends the whole movie planted on his butt behind the wheel of the car. A skilled production team might still make this situation tense and worthy, but that's not the case here. There's no action and the script fails to produce the tension we'd expect in a suspense film. The actors also seem to be disinterested; however, lousy scripts often lead to wooden acting.

If you're looking for a good suspense film, just rewatch one you've already seen. It's a guarantee you'll be better off than watching this mess for the first time.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

It's a Feel Good Movie for a Feel Good Time

[7/10 · 6 February 2024]

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" is the consummate 80s film. The 1980s were a time when we didn't take things all that seriously and there wasn't a social issue to unwind in every little thing. It's a silly, feel good movie not meant to be taken seriously, even with the moral thrown in at the end. Several reviewers have commented about how they hated the protagonist so much they couldn't enjoy the film. I think they miss the point that Ferris Bueller is so idolized in the movie is part of the whole silly irony. There really isn't anything special about the guy to idolize, and that itself is the joke. Broderick plays the character well with a smug know it all attitude that fits the role. A more humble character would not have worked. "Ferris Bueller" is in no way a great movie and it's not even trying to be such a thing. It's what movies used to be, a fun time for a couple of hours without expectations of solving the world's problems.

Renfield (2023)

Campy Dracula Film with Plenty of Flaws

[5/10 · 9 October 2023]

"Renfield" is an interesting twist on the typical dracula films, primarily because it focuses on the aid to the Dark Prince and the horrors of being in dracula's control. The pacing is fast, the action comes almost nonstop and the CGI abounds. The films wraps a crime family plot around a monster story and actually makes it work fairly well. A life lesson on co-dependency is weaved into the mix as well. With all of this going on, however, the film largely falls flat. Many of the scenes when dracula is off-screen simply don't work, and the deadpan jokes only land sporadically. While many have praised Cage's work as dracula, he really doesn't do that good with the part. It starts with a very good interpretation by Cage, but the more he's on screen, the more it seems he falls back to the mean and becomes the same character we see in most Nick Cage films. All in all, the film is reasonably entertaining but it doesn't completely work.

Totally Killer (2023)

Entertaining but a Little Thrown Together

[5/10 · 8 October 2023]

"Totally Killer" is a fast-moving and entertaining time travel movie wrapped around a slasher murder mystery. It is smartly-written and fairly well acted, with a tongue in cheek style that appears to be making fun of everything. The lead character accidentally travels back in time, through a high school friend's homemade Time Machine, and then seeks to prevent a series of murders that happened in the past in order to stop her own mother's murder in the present. There are some things that happen too quickly out of convenience, like the character enrolling in school in the past on one visit with a lame explanation of who she is and no documentation or parental involvement whatsoever. There's also the fact the first thing our protagonist notices after landing in 1987 is some guy's shirt objectifying women and an exaggerated caricature where she exclaims, "I knew there would be racism." Really? These are the first things you think of after traveling through time? I can't figure out whether the film makers are trying to make fun of the "insensitive" and "Neanderthal" 1980s or the overwrought politically-correct 2020s-or both. The film is funny in spots and the murder mystery works well overall. All in all, it's worth a watch, even with some significant flaws.

Love Hurts (I) (2022)

Not Good, but Much Better than Awful

[4/10 · 2 October 2023]

The film has a lot of flaws, including questionable acting and poor direction (at times), but there is something very compelling about it overall. The plot we've seen before in several horror films, but there is an interesting twist in this one and a back story that actually works well. Yes, it is stupid at times and absolutely absurd at others; characters do things that don't make sense and the dialogue is often eye-rollingly cheesy, but it is entertaining and manages to hold viewer interest throughout. That is more of an accomplishment than many horror films can deliver. I think most people who are looking for this kind of film will find it amusing.

Copshop (2021)

Moderately Entertaining Film with Plot Holes and Absurdity Galore

[5/10 · 8 May 2023]

"Copshop" is a film that is entertaining overall. It holds an interesting, if not unique, premise of good vs evil in a cop station--and there is plenty of evil to go around. The film is absurdly over the top in its action sequences to the point of becoming a farce. There are also long sequences where nothing much happens. The story itself is convoluted and is largely described in retrospect by the characters themselves. We know about money being stolen, family members being killed, dirty cops involved in the mix and double-crosses, but exactly what it all means never becomes abundantly clear. We also get the female lead who is essentially an expert on just about everything under the sun and then some. Oh, we also get excessive use of the "F word" to the point of ridiculousness. Overuse of cursing in films is a sign of lazy writing. The movie is watchable and manages to hold our interest to a degree, but it would be wrong to say it's a good film.

Homebound (II) (2021)

Low Budget Atmospheric Thriller

[4/10 · 30 April 2023]

Despite what many reviews say, "Homebound" is indeed a creepy thriller that is actually well-paced with strong acting overall. Parts of it are predictable, but that is enough to keep us watching to see where it is going. The biggest problem is, the film takes us exactly where we suspected all along, and then leaves us hanging anyway. Some see this as a strength, but I think it's a copout. Why bother to explain anything when we can leave it all up in the air? In the end, there wasn't any twist and what really occurred was also left to the imagination. This means it is not so much a complete film as it is an outline that the viewer is supposed to finish. It's too bad, because the film itself deserves more.

Black Rock (2012)

Unlikeable Characters and Absurd Script Make for Weak Film

[3/10 · 30 April 2023]

Rule #1 of any suspense/horror film is to have protagonists who are likable characters. When we don't like or relate to the tormented characters in a thriller, it takes most of the thrill away. The three women in "Black Rock" are not nice people, and we learn this from the start. They're rude, insensitive, narcissistic and even a little dumb. Of course, the bad guys aren't likable either, so it leaves us watching a film where we don't really care what happens. Throw in some absurd logic, where we're supposed to believe the 115 lbs. Women, without any special training, can defeat heavily armed and militarily-trained guys on a deserted island. The only way this happens, of course, is with alarmingly inexplicable actions of the characters. Pass this one by if you can; you're not missing much.

Night Night (2021)

Not Bad for an Ultra Low Budget Thriller

[5/10 · 29 April 2023]

"Night Night" doesn't make a lot of sense if you think about it too much, but it is an entertaining thriller that keeps you interested. It is not nearly as bad as the horrible reviews-1 star? Please, if this film is a one star, then an awful lot of others have to be negative stars.. The lead actress does a decent job overall carrying the movie. The plot twist is predictable but still works overall. Yes, it is far-fetched and highly unlikely, but it is a movie. The epilogue is really the most confusing part and maybe deliberately so. Judging some of the reviews here, they didn't even watch it long enough to see the end.

Ghosted (I) (2023)

Painfully Contrived RomCom with Zero Chemistry Between the Love Interests

[2/10 · 23 April 2023]

"Ghosted" is a brutally tedious film that wastes two star actors in roles that don't fit them from the start, then hands them a script that exacerbates the problem. I could probably watch Ana de Armis do just about anything; however, in this mess she is lost, and trying to turn her into a high-brow international fighting spy doesn't change a thing. There is zero chemistry between the leads and the filmmakers seem to know this, because they constantly have supporting characters vocalizing about how Armas and her co-star, Chris Evans, need to "get a room." This happens so often, it's like they're trying to convince the audience vocally instead of through actual chemistry that come off the screen. After about the fourth time, you start to feel sorry for everyone involved in this mess. The reality is the two of them aren't even believable as brother and sister, let alone anything more. The two of them don't even belong in the same room together. Their lines are recited like they're just reading them themselves for the first time. Even the little fights between them, that are supposed to establish romantic tension, are forced and a little silly. The espionage portion of the story adds nothing but typical dreck of a device that can destroy the eastern seaboard and blah, blah, blah....who cares? The whole thing is executed so poorly, the audience surely doesn't.

M3GAN (2022)

A Weak Attempt at What's Been Done 100 Times Before

[3/10 · 31 March 2023]

"M3GAN" is a film that is a decent premise poorly executed--really poorly executed. The biggest flaw is not the concept or the over-the-top storyline or the numerous plot holes. The biggest problem is there are no likable characters anywhere to be seen, nobody the audience can identify with from the start. The little girl--Cady--is detached, surly and this is not in an organic way, it's in a stiff poorly acted way. Her aunt is also dry and emotionless. They recite their lines like they're reading out loud from a Wikipedia listing. In fact, all of the characters do this; the doll M3GAN has more personality than anyone else! When we're rooting for the evil doll in an evil doll movie, it's not a good sign.

The Watchful Eye (2023)

All Atmosphere but No Substance

[4/10 · 11 March 2023]

I'm through episode 7 of this show and what started out as an interesting creepy premise is just going nowhere. There are long drawn out scenes where nothing happens, just a lot of slow monotone talking with no point. It billed itself as a creepy mystery, but it's just a slow motion drama fest. It's not scary, it's not creepy, it's not funny and it's not all that entertaining. On top of this, there are no likable characters anywhere to be seen. Everyone is annoying, deceitful or just plain awful, and that includes the main character. They have to have a modern agenda, too, so there are as many gay or trans characters as there are straight ones, just for the heck of it. Those who gave this show anything about a 5 must not expect much.

Wolf Pack (2023)

Weak Writing, Weak Script, Weak CGI

[3/10 · 5 March 2023]

"Wolf Pack" is not really a horror show as much as it is a teen soap opera wrapped around a horror theme. The script is mundane and may have been created as part of an eighth grade writing project. Most of the actors appear as if this is their first attempt at the craft. The CGI will actually make you laugh. The show has all the elements of modern Hollywood productions though-casual swearing between parents and teens, politically-correct boxes checked to make sure all possible groups are covered, unwarranted angst, etc.. Put it all together and it is not a very good show at all. Rewatch "Buffy" instead.

Air Force One (1997)

Entertaining and Fast-paced Action Thriller

[7/10 · 1 March 2023]

"Air Force One," while highly improbable and even ridiculous in many ways, is a riveting action thriller from the start. Harrison Ford stars as the tough-guy president who takes on a band of terrorists in the sky. Sure, it's cheesy and absurd, but this is what Hollywood is supposed to be putting out. We used to go to movies to escape reality and have some fun for a couple of hours. Somewhere along the way, that goal was lost in favor of something else entirely. The film is not geared to be realistic just remotely plausible, which it is. Those who despise this film can go watch "Schindler's List" again.

Mayor of Kingstown (2021– )

Contrived and Convoluted

[4/10 · 16 February 2023]

I've gotten through three episodes of this show after it was highly recommended and I have to say it is little more than a convoluted and contrived mess. While the overall production values are strong and the acting is reasonable, the plot and execution are over the top nonsense. The show is disjointed and difficult to follow. The characters are mostly cardboard cutouts and little more. I wanted to like the show after all the good things I've heard, but it's just not very good. It is yet another modern Hollywood production that is too full of itself to bother thinking about the audience. Throw in some anti-American propaganda clumsily shoe-horned into the plot and it is painful to watch. People who look for gratuitous violence, nudity surrounded by ominous music are likely fooled into believing this show is something more, but what actually appears on screen isn't anything special or great.

Blonde (2022)

Another Hollywood Production Made for Moviemakers

[4/10 · 10 February 2023]

"Blonde" is yet another modern Hollywood film made more for the ego and self-satisfaction of the filmmakers themselves and not necessarily to entertain an audience. Hollywood has gotten into a rut of producing movies that only those in the movie business can truly appreciate. These films aren't geared for a general audience to enjoy. "Blonde" is soulless and depressing, jumping from one bland monotone scene to another as it portrays a very troubled young star. It's almost three hour length only adds to the audience struggle here. The film is technically very well made; cinematography is great; the acting is above average and it is highly stylized. Yet, none of this translates into a must-see end product. It's not clear how much of what is portrayed in "Blonde" is true and ultimately it doesn't really matter.

Knives Out (2019)

A Compelling and Engaging Mystery

[9/10 · 3 February 2023]

"Knives Out" harkens back to a time when movies were made for entertainment purposes and not for some other reason. It's characters are engaging even as they are annoying. The execution is superb, from pacing to dialogue to the twists and turns in the plot. From start to finish, the film entertains and that's all that matters. I don't understand all of the negative reviews, particularly in light of the garbage Hollywood puts out on a regular basis. For those rating this below 5, what do they rate the truly awful productions that are not entertaining and appear to be written and directed by someone with a bad attitude? If you seek to just be entertained and not lectured to, taken or granted or marginalized in your political views, "Knives Out" is a great choice.

Downsizing (2017)

Brilliant Concept Ruined with Politics

[4/10 · 29 January 2023]

The challenge in reviewing this film is that it's really not a film at all. It's an original concept and a disassociated agenda-based political brainwashing. The idea that people can be shrunk down to a small fraction of their size to both save resources and improve their standard of living is brilliant. The filmmakers could have taken this premise and done so much, made a thought-provoking masterpiece with a social message. The possibilities are endless, which makes what they actually chose to run with even more sad. The movie starts out promising as we learn about the breakthrough that will allow humans to safely be reduced and the idea catches on such that communities of small people are alive and thriving. The protagonist married couple decide they want to partake in this, mainly to improve their financial status. As viewers, we're eager with anticipation of what will happen after they are shrunk and living in a new world. It is at this point things start going off the rails-not for the married couple but for the film itself and the viewers. The second half of "Downsizing" makes a hard left turn into nowhere, becoming little more than a political agenda disguised as entertainment. The concept of a shrunken world is abandoned and no longer matters. Rich vs poor; immigrant vs American; white people vs everyone else tropes are trotted out and shoved down our throats. Finally, we get an overt end-of-the-world climate change slam down. The film is reduced to just a bait and switch tactic to impart a message on unsuspecting innocents. Those who rated this film highly are most likely people who agree with the politics or are so naive they don't realize they've been conned.

Violent Night (2022)

Is it a Kids' Christmas Movie or an Adult's Raunchy Violent Romp?

[3/10 · 21 January 2023]

"Violent Night" is a film that doesn't know what it wants to be. It tries hard to be an updated version of "Die Hard" and "Home Alone" rolled into one, but it misses the mark altogether. There isn't the suspense and captivating action of the former and it misses the charm of the latter completely. It's littered with the "F word" used repeatedly and casually, not just as an adjective or expletive, but as the verb as well. Using that word so much pretty much eliminates the film as a kids' flic, but using it as a verb kind of puts that over the top, especially in what is trying to be a Christmas movie. The problem is it doesn't hold up as a compelling adult film either. It doesn't have the chemistry of. Something like "Bad Santa." The action scenes are flat, even as bullets and blood fly and the script appears to have been written by a 14 year old. Lines like, "Where's the money or I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it," are the pinnacle of what the film offers. Or, "This upsets me, and it upsets me in a way that makes me want to randomly shoot at people." What? The really sad thing about the film is it has an compelling premise, putting Santa in the position of tough guy hero, and then blows it with insipid dialogue and over the top nonsense.

Bullsh*t: The Game Show (2022)

Something to Watch as You're Falling Asleep

[4/10 · 7 January 2023]

This game show is patently absurd for a number of reasons. As has been pointed out, it would seemingly be easy for contestants to work together to rig the show; it wouldn't be difficult at all. Secondly, and this really bothers me, the show totally ignores the possibility that any of the three contestants who are to determine if the main contestant is lying know the answers to the questions themselves. It doesn't even address this! Many of the questions can be easily deduced through a process of elimination, even if you don't know the answer. Also, many of them are relatively easy and a large percentage of people would know the answers. Yet, we're supposed to believe the ONLY evidence the contestants can go by is whether or not they're being lied to by the "hot seat" contestant. It's absurd. The show is little more than mindless fodder to wind down at the end of the day.

Tulsa King (2022– )

Entertaining and Wholly Unrealistic

[4/10 · 27 December 2022]

After watching four episodes of "Tulsa King," I can say it is thoroughly entertaining, mostly on the back of Stallone. To enjoy the show, however, one has to believe an aging mobster who was just released from prison can walk into Tulsa, OK and start taking the town over literally on day one. You have to buy the idea that a 75 year old, working basically alone, can terrorize people so much they start turning their money over to him. Oh, the same geriatric bad guy is also so good he's fully politically-correct (must have learned that in prison) and still manages to take the moral high ground at every turn. This man barely knows what a weed dispensary is one minute, then in no time he's telling the proprietors how to run the place and even using industry jargon like it's second-nature. And, we're to believe the fine people of Tulsa are so backwards it didn't occur to them to get a security camera or two for their business. They even have the stereotypical "security guard" buffoon literally eating from a bag of Cheetos while on duty. Stallone does a good job in a role that seems like it was written for him, and the overall production value of the show is good. But, if you are a thinking person in the least, you will have trouble with this one. It seems the only person in the cast with half a brain is the African-American driver Stallone hires to haul him around. That guy's family is so cool, his father, who is adamantly opposed to him getting involved in this organized crime world, goes out with Stallone's band of misfits one night to rough up some local opposing thugs. Sure, whatever works. Make no mistake, "Tulsa King" is entertaining in many ways, but calling it mindless entertainment is the understatement of the decade.

Glass Onion (2022)

Moderately Entertaining but Nowhere Near Knives Out

[4/10 · 24 December 2022]

While "Glass Onion" is visually dynamic with good pacing and a compelling plot line, it simply doesn't match the total package provided in its original, "Knives Out." In fact, being associated with the well-written and directed first version is a big part of the problem. If "Glass Onion" were released as its own film with no association to KO, it might be better accepted. "Knives Out" was a reasonably realistic story with well-defined characters we identified with very quickly, which helped draw the audience into the film. It used dry humor and wit to drive home its points. "Glass Onion," in contrast, is based upon an absurd, convoluted and childish plot that would be more appropriate in a superhero movie than an adult mystery. It is entirely unbelievable by any stretch of the imagination. The characters in this film don't use snappy dialogue and sharp retorts, they scream obnoxious and idiotic nonsense as if noise is supposed to make up for lack of a meaningful script. The cast of "Knives Out" was well-chosen, displaying chemistry with each other and the audience throughout its run time. In GO, chemistry between the players is absent; even Daniel Craig's inspector portrayal is reduced to a caricature in this sequel. "Glass Onion" is not an absolute disaster. It works as pass-the-time entertainment, offering enough visual stimulation to hold our attention. In the end, though, it's a loud, over-the-top hollow shell surrounded by pretty packaging and bows.