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TheCinemator
Reviews
Shantaram (2022)
Pick an accent Charlie
I don't know what nationality the main character was supposed to be, but Charlie is such a "good" actor he can do 3-4 accents in one sentence, and he did. I had to turn it off, it was doing my head in.
It's a shame because the story looked really interesting and I was looking forward to watching it. Charlie Hannam has been good on Sons of Anarchy. But the cracks in his "acting" ability started to show in Vikings. His accent there was pretty horrendous, but at least he stuck to the one horrendous accent. Here the story stars in Australia, but his accent isn't quiet Aussie. Well it is every 4th sentence. Then he travels under a New Zealand passport. But his accent isn't quite Kiwi. Well it is every 3rd or 4th sentence. Then there are hints of Irish and South African. Now Charlie is English. Just let the man act in an English accent.
Animal Kingdom: Ghosts (2019)
The boost this show needed.
This season seemed to be ebbing and flowing, not heading anywhere. Then bam, suddenly the show is back on track. Next season things are going to get real. The battle for leader of the pack looks like it will be a bloody one. Kind of glad to see the back of Smurf, her character was becoming real irritating. This show after all is story of Jay's journey, and Jay's journey took a major turn in this episode. Can't wait for next season.
Run Like Hell (1995)
WOW!! Babes, Cowboys, Ninjas, Chainsaws and Robert Z'dar
How could this possibly be bad!! Well you hire the worlds crappiest video camera, don't have tape so why not shoot it over the worn copies of copies of used video tape. Hey then hire the worst actors you can find, (Z'dar excepted, he gets a free pass). You then make up the script as you go along. Then shoot it in your parents garage and on location at the local junk yard.
Hey just to make it look even worst transfer it to DVD using freeware you find on a dodgy download site.
Spend the rest of your budget on tomato sauce for special effects and you have "Run Like Hell"
I watched it from start to finish and I still can't tell you exactly what happened. But here is some sample dialog:
Ninja: "You must learn to fight,....because when the time comes to fight you must fight, like a badger, like you friend Darla did when you lost your friend Darla." Blonde Chick: "Look you are most likely some great martial arts master, but i've been through much worse things and lived, I don't have time to fight, we need to finish the quest."
mmmmmmm What freakin quest???? They just run and shoot and act really really badly.
Any who, I love cheesy bad movies, I have an extensive collection, but even I had to force myself to sit through this. The DVD quality is at some points unwatchable, this is only for those seeking out the worst of the worst. So bad it is not even good-bad, just bad-bad.
The Time Guardian (1987)
EPIC fail for Aussie film, gold for lovers of really bad movies!!
It has been said that there is a world of difference between a bad movie and a boring movie. The bad movie be enjoyed for what it is, and the further it misses it's intended mark, the more likely it is to become a cult hit. The boring movie is destined for the rubbish bin of film history, to not rate a second thought from the collective conscience.
This movie is not boring, but it is very very bad. And that is gold for the lovers of the kitch, seekers of the worst, those who appreciate the fun to had from the truly bad. This movie is FUN.
You'll continually ask yourself, "What were Carrie Fisher and Dean Stockwell thinking!!", "What overacting school did Tom Burlingson go to, and why is he always angry?", "Where can I buy those costumes?", "What exactly the hell did they spend their $8 million dollar budget on?" Every Australian lover of "unique" film needs to buy a copy of this movie. They then need to show it to at least 10 friends. This NEEDS to be a cult Aussie movie.
In the end this movie is a steamer. But I'll probably watch it many more times than my "Citizen Kane", "Apocolypse Now" or "Casablanca" DVDs.