kimjarman19 Reviews

Calvaire (2004)

Worst film EVER, stay away!

[1/10 · 25 July 2012]

I found this film through my recommendations on IMDb and when I saw the overall rating was 6.3 I was expecting a pretty good horror.. instead all I got was a big steaming pile of crap.

I've been going through a few pages of the reviews people have written on this film and I honestly don't know what I'm missing.. I mean I must know nothing about "art" or "dark comedy" if this is what it supposedly is.

I sat there for the entire film thinking "oh, maybe something good will happen" "oh maybe the guy will fight back" but no, no such luck.

I imagine Bartel's utter madness was supposed to be creepy but it was stupid, just plain stupid. Don't even get me started on Boris, trying to find his dog, then he comes back with a cow.. it's all just utter stupidity and I don't think it was creative or artsy at all. Just a load of jumbled up crap, with weird, vintage looking cinematography which in my opinion left a lot to desire as well.

I enjoy an odd film with twists and turns as much as the next person, but this delivered neither. And what's with the village people? I mean I'd half believe if it was just one guy who was nuts but all of them?! No.

It started out badly, and ended even worse. There is no plot or storyline.

This is one of the worst films I've ever seen and I don't recommend it to people who like horror, at all. Hell I don't recommend it to anyone.

The Samaritan (I) (2012)

Surprisingly good.

[8/10 · 5 July 2012]

I started to watch this film not really knowing what I was going into, I had watched the trailer and it looked good, but I didn't expect all the twists!

Samuel L Jackson is one of my favourite actors and he definitely delivers in this film, as do the rest of the actors.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and if you like films of this genre then you should enjoy it too. There were a few bits of the film that I guess weren't explored far enough (for me anyway, I pay too much attention to detail perhaps) but all in all I enjoyed it enough to want to watch it again sometime in the future.

In Time (2011)

Better than I had envisioned.

[8/10 · 6 February 2012]

Well this film was surprisingly better than I was expecting it to be.. Justin Timberlake isn't a very strong actor in my opinion, but he took the spotlight in this one. Amanda Seyfried looked beautiful as ever with her little bob, and the acting really wasn't too bad.

There's sad and happy moments all with that little bit of constant tension as you'll find if you watch it.

It was a really good concept and an enjoyable film, I gave it an 8/10 as I think they could've thought of a better lead actor but it was enjoyable none the less. I would recommend it to anyone, it doesn't really ever become boring and the tension keeps you focused at all times.

Sinners and Saints (2010)

Not as good I had expected..

[7/10 · 31 December 2011]

First of all, I'd like to say I did like this film, before people start rating this down, but I think it had the potential to be a lot better.

The main character looked too cliché for the part, I was hoping for a vaguely happy, good cop to have gone rouge if you would, but instead I got an already messed up one. The reason for him being that way was explained but very briefly and we got to see no storyline about it really.

On top of that his partner doesn't really suit the part, I didn't think so anyway.

Some of the acting was a bit unbelievable and jumpy but it's a good watch if you're not expecting anything amazingly special, and that's why I rated it a 7/10, because the acting really bugged me. Apart from what I've stated it was a good film, though.

50/50 (2011)

Brilliant.

[9/10 · 23 December 2011]

This was hands down one of my favourite film gems of the year. It had been hidden quietly in the midst of the IMDb list and I found it a while back but could find no where to watch it until it came out on DVD. I have not had an experience like this but even though it's a film you can tell that the actors put in a lot of effort for their roles and characters, and that's mainly what makes the film.

Seth Rogen is deemed a "stupid and unfunny actor" but in this film I think he really shows a different side of him as an actor, with a bit of his personal style in there too and it goes really well with the storyline.

I rate it a 9/10 :)

Paul (2011)

Refreshingly funny.

[10/10 · 23 December 2011]

I was thoroughly impressed with this film, it really did give me a good few laughs and that's rare these days. Simon Pegg and co. have always been my favourites, I've watched everything else they've been in together and it's always funny. This was no different either - basically this film is how E.T. should have been.

I won't spoil anything for anyone as I know it's annoying when that happens, I just really recommend watching it if you fancy watching a decent comedy that isn't like all the rest of the "comedy" films that have been out this year. I thought it was great and I've watched it twice since it came out.

Bloodlust Zombies (2011 Video)

I can't find a word to describe it..

[1/10 · 23 December 2011]

I had to give it a 1 out of 10 because it would not let me give it a 0. How can this terrible thing be classed as a "film"? It's downright embarrassing, I felt embarrassed for how awkward the filming must've been with the appalling actors, the whole storyline was the stupidest thing I have ever followed.. it's one of those films that makes me want that wasted time back.

I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who stills goes through with it and watches this, there's nothing to really spoil, it's that bad.

Worst "zombie" "film" I've seen, ever. And for whoever likes zombie films and has watched most of them, you know there are some really embarrassingly bad ones out there already, and this beats them all.

The Perfect Host (2010)

Brilliant!

[10/10 · 4 July 2011]

This film is brilliant. I am not going to go into details of it, because it would ruin all of the unexpected twists, but really, if you're wondering whether to watch it or not.. definitely watch it. I've watched a lot of films; thrillers, horrors.. and this one pleasantly surprised me, which is quite rare given that I've watched so many of them in the past.

I gave it a 10/10 because it was purely brilliant (I'm over-using the word I know!) and it's the type of film I would definitely watch again.

Oh one more thing, DO NOT watch the trailer/preview, it's such a spoiler, I actually watched the trailer AFTER I watched the film (as people had complained about it) and I'm so glad I did because most of the twists would've been spoilt for me if I had seen it before hand.

And to think that I came across this film looking through the IMDb "Comedy" genre list... it was a hidden gem!

My Soul to Take (2010)

not what i was expecting..

[3/10 · 5 February 2011]

Well, when i read the mini synopsis of this film i expected a lot more from it.. and the trailer as well.

This film gives out a 'cheap remake' vibe.. emphasis on the cheap. I found none of the scenes scary. The deaths started happening way too soon for my liking. I like to know a bit more about the story and actually feel like i'm in the film before i start seeing random people dropping. This film just didn't seem right. The director could have made it a lot more creepy and spooky, then maybe it would've been more interesting.

I have to admit i have watched a lot of very weird, and creepy movies, so that may be the reason why i wasn't scared at all by this one. All I can say is that I was really hyped up about this film and was left disappointed. No wonder it went straight to DVD.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

much better than the original.

[10/10 · 23 January 2011]

i will start by saying that i made this IMDb account especially to review this film.

a couple of months back i was given a stack of old horror/thriller films to watch. amongst them was the original 'i spit on your grave' and i have to say, that was pretty gruesome and disturbing. but i love how the woman gets her revenge afterwards.

now a lot of people have been dissing this remake, saying that the rape and violent scenes have been 'shortened and weakened'.. well, what do you expect? this is the 21st century, no one has real sex in a film, no one smokes in films (at least properly).. how would you expect the full on sex scenes that were in the original? i have to say, the violence and rape was aplenty. enough for me to handle anyway.

also it has been said that when she gets her own back on them, it wasn't done as well as in the first one, because she wasn't showing herself sexually to lure them into her trap. well i agree, she didn't. i think overall her aggressiveness and rage made it for a whole better ending!

i won't say anything else because this isn't intended as a spoiler, just a general review. if you like revenge type films, this is a good watch.