Change Your Image
waste420
Reviews
Battle of the Damned (2013)
high octane zombie fun (with robots from a previous movie??)
now see, this is a fun little zombie movie. instead of focusing on the survival aspect, this is mostly big Dolph and his buddies pummeling and running from HUGE hoards of zombies. one weird part of this film is that it includes a band of four "service robots" who, in previous film "ROBOTROPOLIS" massacred a mining town due to a program corruption. now this is even stranger because I've never seen the previous film, but heard about it on the message board here, and in THIS film, the robots mention the massacre and program error, so its the same robots LMAO!!!sorry to ramble on, but give this one a try, its a pretty fun throwback to trashier days starring a great action trash actor ;)
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
A Disaster
OK
I don't know where to begin on how horrible this movie was.
I guess I wasn't expecting much from the title, I have seen very bad movies before including ThanksKilling and Troll 2, and both were enjoyable in their own way. So I figured maybe a funny action movie with some bad lines. I could sit through that.
Oh no. What was presented before me was Abraham Lincoln's life not only in Lifetime movie drama form but also a way, way over the top action flick. I literally could not stop laughing at how horribly corny and awful most of the scenes were. There was very little plot that wasn't already apparent if you have taken any American History class, which left the film stale, no plot twists or turns. Abraham is "Honest Abe" the entire movie though somehow becomes this ass-kicking ninja warrior overnight (the montage is hilarious). And the movie is way too long. It covers a huge span of time and by the time you are at the end; you just can't believe it's still going on.
I get green screen special effects are neat but this movie relied on it heavily, creating scene after scene that the movie literally had to keep outdoing itself. The action scenes that should have been memorable just weren't because there was way too much going on. Abraham also had very little emotion in his performance, they tried to make him heartfelt in his fight against slavery but it just felt way too forced as with the whole movie. He was in no real danger either; he was almost caught a few times but somehow just got lucky, too lucky to create a real suspenseful movie I think.
All in all, I can deal with the history inaccuracies and even the action, the seriousness this film tried to portray just made is god awful corny. I can't describe how agonizing it was to sit through scene after scene of this nightmare of a film.
I am horribly disappointed. If it had even a slight bit of humor or maybe dark comedy features, it would have made this a bearable movie. Even if Abe just had some one-liners, I think I wouldn't be so disappointed.
Please don't see this movie, unless you want ridiculous way-over-the-top action. I say go for it! But beware of the lifetime overtones.
11-11-11 (2011)
Weak, lame, and uninspired
This movie was just TERRIBLE. I got an advanced copy and what a complete waste of time. This was solely a gimmick for 11/11/11. The people who wrote this were just looking for a way to make money on a movie and what they came up with was the weakest plot somehow tied to religion and a number.
But guess what, the number has nothing to do with this movie. They could have easily made this movie without all of the number references. They also could have easily made this movie better without such a loose plot, however it was extremely hard to follow or figure what was going on.
Then they finally tell you what is going on like you are a child, flashing back to scenes that you just saw and don't need to be retold. Overall, this movie didn't even give the satisfaction of even coming off as a scary movie, like it advertises.
The scares were weak and overplayed. The best part was maybe the crazy old man, but that is even stretching it for me. Just say no, I wish I did.
Death Valley (2011)
wow...i think they made this show with me in mind
all i can say after viewing all three episodes is...WOW! i love reno 911, i love anything to do with zombies, and the added vamps and werewolves is just a plus, as there not the lame sort of vamps. this show has everything I've ever wanted, from the two bumbling idiot cops spewing one liners and eating choco tacos, to the two kick ass cops flirting with each other while dishing out punishment to all sorts of ghoulies. the gore is pretty decent for an mtv show, the humor is on par with movies like super bad and the hangover, as well as shows like reno 911 and stuff like that, and the camera work isn't too bad either. i was expecting some horribly lame take on the genre by mtv...but they actually made a new genre as far as TV shows go! i know i just said it, but the amount of gore, the action, and the comedy make this show priceless. when the idiot cops were talking and the bigger one said "do u kiss your mother with that mouth?" and the other one said back "i french kiss my mother with this mouth...", "what?!!?", "oh yeah shes not that hot...", "what!??"..."actually she is pretty hot"...i almost pee'd my pants lmao. just watch it