Stujohnston1 Reviews

Ambulance (2022)

Lots of car chases and guns...

[5/10 · 12 May 2024]

Lots of car chases, guns, pointless blood, with the odd comedic moment.

Feels like a film that someone did when they had a spare weekend to make "what do you fancy doing today Michael?" "Who's free, I want to make a pointless movie cos I'm bored" stuff....!

3/4 through - perfect opportunity to get away, but they don't, they paint the ambulance green. Literally, paint it green rather than get another car and casually drive away!

The pimped car with the gun, why did the dude run - he could've stood still!

Oh, and there are drones...lots of drones!

If you have a spare Sunday, with nothing else to do (even if you could make a movie yourself) then give this a go..

My Life with the Walter Boys (2023– )

Wow!

[3/10 · 23 December 2023]

Poor casting, poor acting, poor writing, no emotion, the characters aren't believable or even seem like they are relating to each other on any level. This is one of the worst book to TV series I think I've ever seen, just really poor. There are horses in this show that are better actors, than the actual actors in this series.

Also, a family that takes in orphans, where the mum is a veterinarian that doesn't charge people for the work she does - is really shocking! Why take kids in but purposely make no money!

I'm guessing the only reason this has 7 stars, is either because of the books, or lots of teenagers watching this.

Retribution (I) (2023)

Don't bother.

[2/10 · 3 November 2023]

This is literally the single most appalling film ever made. The acting is horrific, the story and the set up has so many holes, it's like a fishing net!! The interpol negotiator is straight out of some kids story, with literally no clue! The huge amount of evidence in the film, that shows Liam's character is not guilty, is ignored by everyone. The characters can't even have a decent conversation that would lead to this film being over quicker! ....and the twist, is absolutely disappointing as well as the ending. That Liam Neeson trained batman, and obie wan kenobie, and has resorted to this type of film is plain sad.

The Reef: Stalked (2022)

Grade A Shark B Movie!

[3/10 · 9 December 2022]

I can honestly say I have never watched any shark film, where everyone has no interest in paddling to safety! Even down to the bailing water out of the boat to stop it sinking bit -- nothing!

There was a lot of pootling around on the water, even when they've been attacked by the shark, they just sat on the water and did nothing (other than tell it off!). Also, the journey back appeared to be 100 times longer than heading out with no land in sight...!

I was also surprised that this had 4.4/ 10, I can only surmise that the 4.4 was for the shark -- as he was the best bit, consistant, and great, and white, and even that was dodgy CGI!

The Night Manager (2016–2025)

Don't believe the hype!

[5/10 · 23 July 2022]

Olivia Coleman and Huhe Laurie were the only good things about this, oh and the backdrops! The script was drivel, the storyline was drivel....just as this has Tom H in it, doesn't mean it deserves the acclaim.

SAS: Red Notice (2021)

Laughably awful!!

[3/10 · 10 April 2022]

Considering the cast, this film should have been decent - a british Die-Hard, but it fails miserably on so many fronts!! It's really, really awful! Bad acting, lots of cock-a-ney accents, awful dialigue, stereotypes everywhere, utterly pointless 'romantic' element, and a baddie that is sheer vomit-inducingly painful!

Don't listen to anyone that says this film is good.

Young Sheldon (2017–2024)

Missy and MeeMa

[9/10 · 16 December 2021]

A great throw back to how Sheldon, off of Big Bang Theory, grew up in Texas with his family and how they all navigate 'Sheldon'. However, his twin Sister, Missy, and his MeeMa (sp?) Steal the show! Missy needs her own show, absolutely hilarious! The comebacks and one liners she comes out with, and with MeeMa causing trouble, completely different to BBT Sheldons recollections, makes this show.

Modern Family (2009–2020)

Absolutely Brilliant

[10/10 · 28 November 2021]

Every episode is brilliant (my fav is S4 Ep13). With the exception of the Cam character, all of them get better over time, including the child characters. Comedy timing of Phil.....sheer brilliance!

Squid Game (2021– )

Mediocre at best!

[4/10 · 25 September 2021]

A very slow series, there are many much better Korean series/ films if you want to watch foreign films. Just don't bother with this one - the acting is poor, the dubbing is awful, and the ending is an absolute mess!

Unhinged (I) (2020)

Call. The. Police.

[2/10 · 29 May 2021]

Great characters and actors, but good god the script is garbage! DONT ANSWER THE PHONE AMD THEN DRIVE TO THE POLICE!!!

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

errrrrrrrr okay!

[6/10 · 24 October 2012]

I'm going to start with the usual clichés, if you have read the book give this film a HUGE miss......because it is garbage!! If you haven't read the book then this film is actually really good!!

You have to ignore the so many "but, wait a minute.." moments in this, I presume the director (and ironically the writer of the book as well who was either a producer or director, i forget) both couldn't be bothered with trying to follow a story that worked so well in the book!!

Well that's me done, cant think of anymore clichés, just don't read the book but enjoy the film ;-)

Battleship (2012)

OMG - Very very rubbish!!!!!

[7/10 · 26 July 2012]

This has to be the worst film I have literally ever seen....the characters are lame and have the appearance and ability that you would find in films direct to the SyFy channel!

Rhianna is SHOCKINGLY BAD in this, you can tell this is her first major 'acting' go (the word acting here is brought to you in association with the letters O, M & G) she really needs to find something that she is good at and stick to that (maybe biased as i cant stand her voice either - but i doubt it)

Liam Neeson seems to have gone for the money on this one as he has done some amazingly superb films recently. Then there is Tyler K, another shocking acting performance!

Notwithstanding the unbelievable-ness of the aliens actually attacking us, you have the old crew on the USS Battleship!! We are expected to watch/believe/give in too the fact that if there was an alien invasion then the US would have to rely on a load of old duffers and there oldest ship - #yawn

Aaaanyway, the one redeeming feature and regardless of what i have written above the reason to watch this film, are the SFX they are superb! I presume the total budget went on SFX as they really are second to none.

My 4/10 was purely for the SFX........

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

utterly awesome

[10/10 · 26 July 2012]

Ignore all the negative reviews of this film, it is about adversity and the battle against overwhelming odds and superior fire power and how the human species can win! Its not a love story its certainly nothing like the lameness that is Pearl Harbour (for example) which has all the "character building you could ever wish for yet still garbage!

The special effects don't look like SFX it looks like LA just got handed!

This film is really good, there is nothing else to say. My friends, housemate and I have seen this countless times its that good!

I really hope they do another one, the continuing battle???

So get a few beers in you, get patriotic (for human kind) and watch the aliens get their asses kicked! 2-5