ShazaliSharaini Reviews

Trick (II) (2019)

Gore? Yes. Logic? No. - You'll get mad watching this.

[3/10 · 28 December 2019]

Jocks and girlfriends - The killer is stabbing your friends one by one. You don't stand gaping, or help stop blood gushing out of your friend's neck. You don't scream STOP! STOP! hoping he would heed you. YOU FKIN RUN!!!

Cops - The killer is riiiiiight in front of you. Why chase him? Shoot him in the head!

Other cop - You know he is dangerous and unkillable. Why be a hero and "I'm going to go chase him alone"

Urgh!!

A Night in the Woods (2011)

Oh! C'mon! This is Blair Witch, except, more boring!

[3/10 · 12 May 2019]

The last 30 minutes of the movie is the exciting bit. The first 40 minutes is dull, dull, dull.

I was attracted to watch this because of the cover. i know, i know... I didn't learn from my past lessons, see.

Thank god, I didin't actually waste my time because I was doing something else while watching. I didn't miss much. I didn't need to rewind.

That's because nothing really happened. It's just Kerry and Leo hobby-horsing around while hiking.

Then they built their tent, and the two guys went missing.

If you still want to see this, do something else while doing it.

Frenzy (2018 TV Movie)

Floating in the sea for hours=safe, On A motorboat for 1 minute= Got Eaten

[1/10 · 30 December 2018]

I am sure you have seen 47 Meters Down.

Now, I was PRAYING that the whole movie was a hallucination. Because the whole thing was fkin ABSURD! RIDICULOUS! Cases in point?

1. Sharks growl? 2. We swim faster than sharks? (well, this happens in ALL shark movies, but in Frenzy, it's even ..er... stupider) 3. One character has been floating in the water for hours, yet no sharks come close 4. 2 rescuers on a boat arrives at the place for 1 minute, both got eaten. From the boat? Did I mention to you about them are on the boat? And armed? 5. 1 litre of gasoline can burn the whole shark?

I am going to stop there. The whole thing is laughable.

If you like cheesy stuff, don't watch this still. I haven't seen Sharknado and all the sequels, or all the other syfy channel shark movies,...

I bet they are all much better than this rubbish.

Mortal Engines (2018)

You've seen this somewhere before, BUT still good fun!!!

[8/10 · 11 December 2018]

Tomatoes and Metacritic are a bunch of sourpuss. I dunno. Maybe I have a poor taste in movies but I know FUN when I see one. Yeah, I know, opinions vary.

But I LOVE Mortal Engine. I love the opening sequence. There's nobody I know in there except Hugo Weaving. I love the action. That cyborg Shrike sub-plot is great. I love how he looks. Like a robot walking dead.

Ok, yes. It's a Star Wars movie mashed with some other YA flicks. It's hard to find originality nowadays, but that doesn't mean Mortal Engine is bland.

Go take a risk. Don't fully trust those posh critics. The movie might be bad to them. It might not to you.

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

It's A Good Horror Flick

[9/10 · 2 December 2018]

No, this is not an Exorcist movie. It's something like The Autopsy Of Jane Doe. Which I also love very much.

This is a popcorn movie. Don't ask too many questions like, why the hell does Megan wants to work in a morgue. In the graveyard shift. Practically alone. Don't ruin all the fun asking these.

Don't trust Tomatoes or Metacritic. They are no fun. (I don't know why the hate The Predator because I love that movie)

In Malaysia, it's an 18-rated movie. It's not THAT gory. But I guess because Hannah Grace crawls around the hospital nude. **Is that a spoiler?**Whoever can get turned on seeing that is really a pervert.

Oh well,... still. I had fun watching that. it's great fun.

Again, Don't read reviews. Go watch it. I am sure you'll enjoy this more than The Nun.

It Comes at Night (2017)

What is 'It' in the movie? Nothing!

[4/10 · 31 August 2017]

I am going to ***Spoil*** this movie for you because this movie is not good. I don't say it's bad. It's just not good. The drama is OK. You see they build a sort of bond between the two families.

There's no horror here. After watching the first 10 minutes, the tension made you thought it is going to be like The Walking Dead. You thought maybe it is a monster movie. But half way through, nothing! It's just the two families talking. The dialogue is not boring though. But still, you expect something sinister to come at night.

The scary bits are all dreams. Dream sequences pss me off. Because most dream sequence are not real. Just a cheap way to scare audience.

So, there's no 'It'. 'It' doesn't come at all. If you want 'It', wait for 8th September. This so-called horror wanted to piggy back the popularity of recent horrors like Get Out, or Don't Breathe, or It Follows.

It's not horror. Horror fans, stay clear. If you want to see character development, yes. Do watch.

Scary killers, gore, entrails and blood spurting, (oh, nudity - he-he): Nope. Nada. Zip.

The Mummy (2017)

The Sequel Might Not Be Called The Mummy 2

[7/10 · 8 June 2017]

I gave it a 7 because I feel it is not long enough. You know, nowadays, movies go for 120 minutes.

Nevertheless, I enjoy this flick. It's not a remake of the Brandon Frasier movie. In fact, it's actually a movie of the same universe as the predecessor. Watch for it, don't blink. Then you'll start screaming and pointing your finger to the screen "IT'S THAT THING!!!!" Oh, yes. The title of the sequel... as aforementioned, it's not just about the Mummy. As you can see, Russell Crowe is Dr Jeckyll. Yes! D Dr Jeckyll.

Remember the trailer of Amazing Spiderman 2? Yup, you'll something like that in the movie..

Overall... C'mon. Don't trust Rotten Tomatoes blindly. I know you want to see it. Go ahead and join the fun. And no, it's not like Indiana Jones either.

The Guardians (2017)

Opportunity wasted

[1/10 · 26 February 2017]

The only interesting thing about this movie is the superpowers. That's it. I was unfortunate because I watched the dubbed version, so the dialogues were hokey. The sound effect was uninteresting. No umph! Was it because it was dubbed? The acting was woody. So it looked like a 90s Power Rangers episode.

The fight scenes... My god, man, they were.. uninteresting! At all. So that's why the trailer was in slo-mo. I guess if they played it in real time, they'd show the whole scene! Dude, haven't you seen any Marvel movies? I was actually looking forward to watching this! I thought the bear guy could be something like the Hulk/Wolverine. The rock guy could be like Terra of Teen Titans. The speed guy sliced the bad guy into halves in the early scene. My son was impressed. But that's it! So, stay away. Don't watch this at all. Wait for Power Rangers.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Great Scary Flick!

[9/10 · 9 June 2016]

The first Insidious was good, but the sequel was screechy and very B. Not this one. IMHO, Conjuring 2 is scarier than the original.

I wish they'd remake Amityville because I can't remember watching Amytyville Horror this scary.

Remember those movies which had those scary bits, that made you cower under a pillow but turned out being just a dream sequence? Well, none of those here. SPOILER ALERT!!! That Transformers scene at the Hodgson's neighbour's house!! I was telling my wife: "Naaah, It's just a dream" but it isn't! Wait, there are two dream sequences, but they are more like visions than insignificant fake scares.

This is a winner! Get yourself scared $#!+less. Oh, it's 2 hours' long. But, you won't feel it.

Enjoy The Conjuring 2 as I have.

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

X-Men:Apocalypse IS GOOD!

[8/10 · 31 May 2016]

It's good. trust me.

People have been slamming this movie left, right and center. When I entered the hall, I was expecting something not-so-good like B v S. I was waiting, and waiting to be bored or disappointed. Those didn't happen.

It had good drama. I like what they did to Magneto. I like Wolverine's cameo. I hope Wolvie 3 would use that bit in Alkali Lake. Oh, there's Phoenix!!! (I told you there'll be spoilers)

I had doubts of the 'new' Jean Grey. But in the end she looked GREAT!! Yes, Cyclops. A bit underused but still good in the end.

OK, yes. Too many characters. Fans would really love to see them in action. But in 135 minutes, only so much could fit in. I would really love a chick (psi)fight between Jean and Psylocke. Oh God, I would really love to see more metal knives flying around. But,... I don't think we'll see that anymore. UNLESS...!!! Anyhow, X: A is a good movie. Don't listen to bad reviews.

No, wait. Do read bad reviews like I did. It would be great to say that they were WRONG!

The Jungle Book (2016)

great fun, this Jungle Book!

[10/10 · 10 April 2016]

I love this version like I enjoyed the first time I saw the original animated movie... that was ages and ages ago. It's good that you re-watch the 1967 one before you see this one.

It's great that the updated one shows us the bond between Mowgli and his ...er... Mom.

Oh, the songs! I love it that they include the songs. Not all of them, but still, they relive your childhood (for people my age).

"I Wanna Be Like You" - The animated one is all fun and dancy. But, the Christopher Walken one, i dunno,... I felt... frightened! Just,..just look at him! And so is Shere Khan!

I love Bill Murray, as always. I wish he would do more stuff like Groundhog Day or Quick Change, rather than Wes Anderson's arty movies.

Too bad, Kaa is underused. (probably because I would like to hear more of Scar-Jo) Anyhoo, my family and i enjoyed watching this last night.

The Boy (2016)

It's Not What You Think It Is

[8/10 · 22 January 2016]

Hey! That's Maggie from The Walking Dead! She's not baddass in here though.

OK, what you see in the trailer, it's not the story you think you are going to see.

I only saw the trailer once, and I didn't finish watching it because most horror movie trailers show us all - if not most - the good bits. Remember Sinister? Yeah, the boy in the box, the photo of Bughuul in the bush,... all in the trailer.

So, yes,this movie is creepy. I hate "It's only a dream" scenes (No, that's not the ending) because those steal the horror away. They shouldn't do that anymore. It pisses people.

Anyhow, I love this movie. I didn't expect it to turn out to be THIS kind of movie. A bit slow in parts.

But one question, though, who the hell cleans up the house?

The Visit (I) (2015)

Very, very good!

[8/10 · 26 September 2015]

Nana and Poppop are really, really creepy people!! Trust me, people. This is really, really good. Very creepy. Remember The Happening? It was really scary in the beginning, but the ending was shitty.

But this one takes you right to the end. I love this.

There's something really, really wrong with these old folks. Are they ghost? Are they aliens from planet whatchamacallit? What ever you do, do. not. watch. the. trailer.

Scary.Scary.Scary.

Watch it with your girlfriend.

OK, find out what these really mean: Shakira, Sarah Mclachlan. Carrie Underwood, Katy Perry

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015)

Maze Runner - New Fomula (Now with zombies)

[7/10 · 11 September 2015]

Just minor spoilers here, folks.

I won't say it's great. But it's not awful either.

The title says 'Runner'. Of course there are going to be a lot of runnings. What do you expect? Someone out there said running aimlessly. People chase them. Zombies chase them. Do you think they know where exactly in the desert they are running to? I love this one better than the first one. I dunno. The first one was a bit dull. This one is more exciting. I guess maybe I love zombies.

Nothing original. You'll see bits here and there you've seen somewhere before. But fun, nonetheless.

Go see it.

Big Sky (2015)

Soooooooooo Sllloooooooowwwww

[2/10 · 6 September 2015]

Not good. Spoiler!

OK, we understand you have issues... being agoraphobic and all,.. but, as soon as you see people, you gotta tell them quickly that your mom got shot.

I don't know if there are people like this. She walks slowly, yeah, OK, because she's afraid being outside.

But when seeing the first real person, she acts like "Oh, look! A shirtless village idiot! Is he real or a mirage! Oh, he's real all right, and he says he's got a bike. Looks like he's stone and he's blabbering about someone named Eve. Let's entertain him and I will just limp along...Hey, waitaminute... I am not agoraphobic anymore!" Urgh... If you still want to check it out, be my guest. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Unless, you have insomnia!

Pixels (2015)

Great Fun!

[8/10 · 31 August 2015]

Oh C'mon! It's a Sandler movie.

Like most his movies - It's stupid. But barrels of fun. I was an 80's kid. I played arcade games and watched TV shows like Fantasy Island. So, that's a plus. I enjoyed it more.

Those who don't like it are sourpuss.

You might be wondering why Sandler and co keep churning movies like this. Why? Bcos there are a horde of Sandler's fans out there. C'mon, join us join the fun. I know you like silly movies. It's just that you are too snotty to admit it.

It's a great laugh. Much more than a Wes Anderson meta-comedy. Really!

Jurassic World (2015)

Fun!!

[10/10 · 11 June 2015]

Are you looking for popcorn fun, or are you more into dissecting? Jurassic World is not a movie for you to analyze, like dissecting a frog.

You buy tickets to enjoy yourselves. You know already at some point some dinosaurs are going to escape. You can tell which nobodies are going to be eaten. You can guess how Indominus is going to die in the end.

But to see people screaming and running, how the hero proves the cooperate wrong, Chris Pratt riding with the 'raptors...

It's fun!!

I don't care about the thin plot. I want to see stupid people got their heads bitten off!!

So, have fun, people!!!

Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)

Great Scary Flick

[8/10 · 7 June 2015]

Don't be a movie critic to enjoy a movie like this. Enjoy it for what it is. It's a scary movie. Yes, there are loads of other horror movies which are better than this.. but that doesn't mean it is not enjoyable. Go watch it.

You don't need to see the first two chapters. But this chapter is a few years after Elise solved Josh's case when he was a boy (Chapter 2).

Don't concern too much about stupid script (like chapter 2). Oh, the music can be really overbearing.

Yes, it's cheesy. Yes, it's a bit dumb.

and YES, IT'S FUN!

RoboCop (2014)

Don't Compare If You Want To Enjoy This Robocop

[7/10 · 1 February 2014]

You cannot make one like the original. The original worked because it was made in the 80s. If the original were made in this era, it would be binned as a B-grade movie.

Is this Robocop vanilla? YYYYYY-no. There's this issue about morality vs money and power. It's not totally about revenge like the first one.

We enjoyed the original because it had excessive violence which was fun. Do we need to have that again? Do we need new ways of how Robo can beat the crap out of villains? NO.

We need a story. There's a little whodunit despite very brief. which is not solved (is it?)It's something like The Amazing Spider-man... That plot was left hanging somewhere in the middle. so i guess we'll see that bad guy again in the sequel.

So, I enjoyed it. Give it a shot. It's nothing revolutionary, but who needs that?

Susuk (2008)

A Superior Malaysian Movie

[9/10 · 27 August 2009]

I approached this movie with so much hostility. I loathe (still am) Malay films because of clichés, overacting, unnecessary comedic acting, bad scripts - all the no-nos you can think of in movie making. Many Malaysian movie makers don't learn from any good movies on how to make one. They think commercially beautiful performers are sufficient to garner profits. Throw in a dose of slapstick humour, and voila, you get yourself a hit movie. But, I can't blame them because Malaysian audience WANTS all these slapstick humour, shouting, overacting and clichéd romcoms.

The film makers brag that the quality of Malaysian movies are on par with those of Hollywood's, but they know they are lying. Anybody who's watching any Malay films will know, most - I SAID MOST - films are similar to another. Or rip-offs from Hollywood movies. Look at the stunts in Cicak-man. The somersault was a Spider-man2 rip-off.

OK, back to this film. This, I believe, is the best story-telling EVER. Please, tell me others that can match Susuk. There are hardly any overacting. I was holding my breath waiting for some idiot trying to be funny. But, thank God, there wasn't any.

I don't wanna label this as a horror, because the scary scenes are quite sparse. It is the mystery of this beauty talisman - Susuk - which intrigues me. Then, how it is told. I don't want to to spoil anything here, but it requires me a second viewing to comprehend what is going on. Now, that is GOOD.

So, find this movie. It is THAT good!! They should bring this movie out internationally.

Shazali

The Eye 2 (2004)

LOVE IT!

[26 June 2004]

Nothing to do with the first one. People claimed that The Pangs named it the eye2 because to cash in the first one. If they had used a different title however, they'd say the Pangs had run out of idea because of the movies (almost) similarity.

But I love it! With the surprise ending and all. And Joey is not a perfect person. Can we say she's the bad guy here? Well, she IS the mistress, right? A home wrecker! Er,... that's a SPOILER folks.

GREAT, GREAT, GREAT!

One complain though, AND IT'S A SPOILER, could the baby really survive after those falls? Hmmm.

Watch both. The original is much better.

Aswang (1994)

I can't find any word in my thesaurus to describe how bad it is

[26 June 2004]

Damn! I've been fooled again! I still don't learn from previous lessons not to trust comments on DVD covers.

I don't know WHAT I was thinking when buying this DVD. Whoever wrote those comments and synopsis should be shot. It says here this movie was a sensation when it hit Sundance in 1994? What kind of sensation? Puking?

Let me quote some of what's written on the back cover:

"After a brief theatrical release, nervous video chains refused to carry the film and the shocker [BWAAAHAHAHAHA] all but disappeared."

When it disappeared, why did they bring it back? IT DISAPPEARED FOR A REASON, GODDAMMIT!!!!

I WANTED TO GET RID OF THIS MOVIE, BUT NOONE WANTS IT. I gave it to a friend for his birthday, and he posted it back to me a week later. that goes to show how bad it is. I hope more people would buy this film because I won't be the only one stoopid enough to see it.

Hey, i didn't even spoil it for you.

House of the Dead (2003)

OH! MY! GOD!

[6 February 2004]

Please, let me be the last person to watch or write about this KRRRRRRapp. There is nothing - NOTHING - good about this. I guess they had too much money to spend, so they made this.

Oh yeah. SPOILERS ahead. But who cares. There's nothing surprising or twist or revelation or anything here.

How many times have we seen the characters at the begining being warned not to go to a particular place but still do? Too F#$@ing many! Are you Americans THAT stupid? Don't you feel offended when people made movies like this? Oh, it's ok because this balances out what you have potrayed Red Indians, Germans, Russians and Arabs?

oh yes, Guiness Book of Records. I think you may find THE longest AND POINTLESS shoot out ever in a film in this one.

I bought this movie because I thought I wanted to give this a chance, like I did with Resident Evil. Although a flop, but still enjoyable, IMHO. I feel violated when watching this. Oh, how I cleansed myself right after!

So, no. No matter what people say. No matter what your heart says. DON'T GO NEAR THIS RUBBISH.

Hangman's Curse (2003)

good story, poor acting

[27 November 2003]

SPOILER ALERT May be I've watched too many whodunnit mystery movies. I can smell who the baddie is 10 minutes after the opening credit. Oops. Is that a SPOILER? Ok, so, there're gonna be SPOILERS ahead.

This COULD be a better movie if they had picked better actors and a better writer. This movie has potential because I thought it's gonna be a mixture of 21 Jump Street,X-files and CSI. But after ten minutes, GOD, the supporting actors/actresses and extras are more wooden than Woody and Pinnochio put together. The most irritating is that Algernon guy. Now, Frank Perreti, we've seen manic professors before. Nobody can do Christopher Lloyd. And you CAN'T act. Stick to writing.

And Zielinski, next time, please consider the thing we call HOLES! Getting their covers blown in their first day? Come on! Sneaking in the school at night with all that noise. The janitor constantly seen in the principal's office. Crawling into air vent in broad daylight? I could go on.

If they keep going like that, I don't think these four can keep their job as undercover detectives anymore.

Like I said, this could have been a great 21 Jump St/XFiles/CSI movie.

So, Zielinski, that's why the new Superman isn't made yet because of the rewrites. Don't use first draft next time.

Daredevil (2003)

I refuse to accept this as an adaptation!

[4/10 · 19 August 2003]

There're gonna be spoilers here, so...

Now, I really hope the sequel is gonna show us how little Matt gain his superskills. I refuse to buy he self-trained himself.

I hope the sequel is more of a year one movie. Kinda like spiderman.

And Matt Murdock is a show-off? Come on! How many blind people in the world shows off he/she could smell a beautiful woman from a distance in a crowded place? And try to pick up a girl by fighting her? Jumping around and balancing on a see saw? In a public place?

And Elektra. Where's the mystery which surrounds her? And she talks a lot, too. No, No, NO!!

Now, why do all villains have to be the one involved in murdering the hero's father/mother? Like Joker-Batman?

Like Catwoman, Elektra's not really dead even though her heart had stopped beating.

The only thing I like about this movie is- that's right- Bullseye.

This Daredevil movie is a Batman/Batman Returns ripoff.

OK. It's time to have a different director and change the whole thing. No, not Joel Schumacher.

Don't ask how many stars I would give for this crap. I'm glad I didn't watch it in the theatre.