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Reviews
The Crow: Salvation (2000)
Diet Crow.
Right off the bat, let me say that I felt that "Crow: Salvation" was better then "Crow: City Of Angels". The second film felt more like a loose remake of the first, this feels more like an actual sequel. But were as the first had a good script, good acting, and good action, this one seems to deliver all those, but on a mediocre level.
Alex Corvis is executed after being charged with the murder of his girlfriend. Of coarse, poor, old Alex was really telling the truth when he said he was framed, but no one believes him. After the execution, Alex comes back from the dead to set the wrong things right. That's about it for plot.
You're all probablly wondering why I titled my review "Diet Crow", well, even though the movie is decent on it's own, it just seems like it's trying to be better then the first, in which case it feels like a diet soda, just not up to the original. Anyway, the movie is an okay timekiller, and it's got some good scenes, it wouldn't kill you to rent it. Overall, decent.
The Mangler (1995)
Wait, what?
"The Mangler," as you already know, is based on the short story by Stephen King, and directed by Tobe Hooper. This movie's getting a lot of negative feedback, and it's not hard to see why. It's basically a trash horror film, made slightly better with some good performances.
Robert Englund plays a vicious old man that owns a laundry shop, where a big sheet-presser thing is possesed. Thing is, this dude's so whacked out of his mind, he really doesn't care. Englund plays the character way over the top (the way it should be).
Ted Levine is the detective that's determined to discover why this machine is the cause of many disasters and a few deaths. Of course, demonic possesion didn't really seem like a possibility, but his brother-in-law convinces him otherwise.
Anyway, the movie overall is pretty much a peice of garbage, but Englund is having fun, and it's cool to see Ted Levine in a hero role, which he plays well. The effects are pretty weak, the supporting cast is pretty bad, and all the gory scenes just seem to be an excuse for excessive gore. I give it a 4 out of 10 thanks to some good performances.
Nowhere to Run (1993)
"When push comes to shove, you'll be dealing with me."
"Nowhere to Run" is a 1993 action film with decent action star Jean Claude Van Damme. Although good for fans of the genre and Van Damme, it may be a let down for others. Why I myself am not a diehard Van Damme fan (at least he did "Hard Target"), I thought this movie was good. Why, you ask? Because it has Ted Levine as the bad guy.! Anyway, this movie caught me by surprise. I thought it would be one of those bad movies where stuff explodes just so you can watch stuff explode. But I found it to be a decent vehicle for it's stars, and you never can go wrong with Ted Levine. It's a nice little movie. 6 out of 10.
Jason X (2001)
Just wanna stab this movie.
This movie is horrible! Everybody thought it would be the "Blade 2" of the "Friday the 13th" series, but it's crap. This belongs on the bottom 100, get the other sequels outta there, this is way worse. I mean even number 4 was better than this. This movie is worse than an enema, outside, in the summer, in Texas. David Cronenberg, why are you even in this movie?
The Crow (1994)
"It can't rain all the time."
The 1994 film adaption of the popular comic book "The Crow" has got to be one of the best comic book adaptions around. And I don't just like it out of sympathy for Brandon Lee, when I first saw this film I did not know that he died on sight, I didn't even really know who he was, I was to young to really know any actor. Mr. Lee will be missed by many, but he left his mark in this film, and all you really need is just one thing for people to remember you by, and this is his. Well, I suppose I should get around to the standard plot synopsis.
Eric Draven (Brandon Lee)comes back from the grave to avenge his death, but more importantly the death of his girlfriend. Not your standard 'Mr. nice Guy' kind of heroes, Draven sets out on his quest to avenge his fallen lover, with the help of a young girl, a beat cop, and his fine feathered friend. He shows the mercy that they showed him and his girl: None. Eric Draven has got to be one of the coolest good guys, and Top Dollar has got to be one of the coolest bad guys. And what movie wouldn't be complete without the great ending fight (of course there's a fight, what fun would it be if Top Dollar was an easy-to-defeat type bad guy). Anyhow, I really like this movie a lot, and of course, you don't have to listen to me, but I suggest that you go out and rent it, even if you have already seen it. One of the best.
Secretary (2002)
Finally, a movie for people like me.
This movie is great! I've been waiting years for something like this, and my prayers were answered. Spader gives a great performance as a sadistic boss, and Gyllenhaal is fantastic as the masochistic secretary. Some parts of this movie make me surprised that it isn't a porno, because they're so naughty. It's not for everyone but for all you bondage fetishists out there, this is the movie for you. I highly recommend this funny and sexy comedy, and I give it 4 stars.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
My Favorite Movie
I loved this movie ever since I saw it on television. Of course television doesn't show everything so I went out and rented it. And I loved it even more. Clu Gulager is bad-ass boss, James Karen and Thom Matthews are the very funny comic relief, and Don Calfa is just there to be Don Calfa (which is always good). And let's talk about those punks, Miguel Nunez and Brian Peck are great as 2 hard rockin' dudes. Mark Venturini doesn't have much of a part, but man can he act! And who doesn't want to see the luscious Linnea Quigley in a cemetary strip scene (love that short, red hair, among other things).
Anyway, this movie is great, funny, and most likely the only movie where you'll hear "Do You Wanna Party" by 45 Grave while zombies are attacking. I highly recommend this spooky, funny, and quite sexy movie to horror fans of all ages.
Gladiator (2000)
It's good!
Gladiator is a great film, not only for it's gore, but for it's performances. Russel Crowe does a fantastic job as Maximus and Pheonix is great as Commodus. The battle scenes are terrific, but don't just watch it for that, watch it for the fights and the acting. It's a good movie.
Stone Cold (1991)
Story sucks, script sucks, the action sucks, the villains are cool.
Cliche-filled movie about undercover cop Bosley infiltrating biker gang lead by Henricksen and Forsythe. A good opening scene and great performances from Henricksen and Forsythe are a plus, but you've seen it all before.