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Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
Painful to Watch
I don't mind that this movie was terrible. I watch plenty of terrible movies, after all. So, that's not a game changer. What bothered me was that it was completely unaware of the fact that it was terrible.
This film mostly falls apart on the technical level. The effects are awful. The reaper looks bad. The sets looks almost cartoonish at times. There are segments of the film that make no sense in the larger whole. Outlandish decisions are made by characters without any sensible explanation being given as to why they would do something no sane, rational person would do. There are also sections which are atrociously and groan-worthily campy without being self-aware.
The only silver living in this movie is the actors. They're clearly doing their best with what they've been given. Also, Dee Wallace is a national treasure. She raises the quality of any film, even when she's only in it for 5 minutes (as in this one).
Death to Smoochy (2002)
Great Dark Comedy
Lots of people don't really like this movie. I think a fair amount of them don't get the joke. It's a brilliant, deliciously dark comedy.
Zepo (2014)
Horrifying
Well, that was just utterly horrifying. Just awful (in all the right ways for a horror fan). And the animation is just gorgeous.
Night Swim (2014)
Well Done
Creepy and effective. It sort of reminded me of a pool version of "Lights Out". Well done.
Invisible Sister (2015)
What Were They Thinking?!
I give Disney a lot of leeway with their made for tv films. They are going for a very specific (and frankly important) niche. Preteen girls need to have their voice echoed on screens and Disney is one of the very few companies that makes a concerted effort in that area. That niche comes with certain freedoms, but it also binds their hands in important ways as well. I get that. And I allow for that.
Even with me cutting them slack, this was a pretty poor effort on their part. The chose to tell a science based story, but the script seems written by that high school kid who hated science, never bothered to understand it, and assumed you didn't either. The rules for the sister's invisibility make absolutely no sense. They are in consistently applied to the point of distraction. The entire course of action by the sisters after one of them turns invisible makes absolutely no sense. course of action by the sisters after one of them turns invisible makes absolutely no sense. Their priorities are so warped my 11-year-old was utterly befuddled. Every drop of drama and tension in the script was contrived and unnecessary. Even the Disney homebase, passionate heart melting speeches about the importance of sisterhood and friendship, fell like dead fish from the mouths of the poor actresses who were forced by the Disney machine to be in this movie.
In short, this whole movie was one long wtf?!?!
Trick or Treat (1952)
A Classic
This is a goddamn classic of the first order. This is one of those films that should be required viewing every Halloween season by couples, families, people living alone, and anyone else I'm leaving out. Also their pets.
The Grudge 3 (2009)
Ugh
This should have been called "The Drudge" because of the way it just drags along, in fits and spurts, and fails about to the left and right. This was a waste of totally decent acting talent.
Black Moon (2019)
Black Moon (2019)
Simple, straightforward, solid horror. It does a good job of tapping into our primordial fear of seeming astronomical rarities and walking paths without multiple egress. None of those are very high in most peoples lists of terrors. Maybe they aren't even thought about that often. And yet, history shows us again and again, if those are in fact deep-seated fears that humans have. This short film does a good job of exposing those fears, playing with them, and reminding us how unnerved we are by them.
Mare (2020)
Mare (2020)
Based on a Henry Fuseli painting called, "The Nightmare", this film is hard to describe. It is creepy, weird, disorienting, bizarre, confusing, and also rich and beautiful to look at. In other words, I liked it.
The Galls (2019)
The Galls (2020)
Genuinely cool little movie. A woman needs to get her piano tuned. When the repairman come, they are there to tune more than just the piano. Something is not right in her home. And the Gall brothers are there to help, maybe.
Some of the acting is a bit flat, but the idea is fun and quite well executed.
U14 (2020)
U14 (2020)
The DJ for a radioshow gets a series of different folks calling in and asking for the same song to be played - U14. Initially dismissive, he eventually hunts down the old tape labeled "U14" and plays it for the fans requesting it. He probably shouldn't have. What ensues is his long road trip to crazy-town.
This is a fun little tale, well directed and well acted. It's scary and has a great concept behind it. The only flaw is the ending, imho. It seems like they weren't quite sure how to bring it home in the end. That said, I certainly could not have done any better.
Clout (2020)
Clout (2020)
Take some good old fashioned cosmic horror, mix in a little body horror, and then top it all off with a nice healthy dose of morality tale - that's Clout. The concept is fun and timely. Sadly, the acting was a little flat and - except for the part which is morality tale - the horror is a little on the unoriginal side. Still, all things considered, it is a fun little piece and worth the time is takes to see it.
Antikk (2020)
Antikk
First film directed by Morten Haslerud and a pretty good start if you ask me. This is a tale as old as time- girl find antique bathtub, girl falls in love with antique bathtub, girl brings antique bathtub home with her, bathtub causes hellish thing to happen to girl.
The lead, Christiane Schaldermose, really sells this short film. It managed to make me genuinely jump in my seat twice - which is a pretty good pay off for just 12 minutes of film.
Irreparable (2018)
Disturbing AF
This is one of the most disturbing and disturbed shorts I've seen. It's so good, and any fan of horror will eat this up. That said, it's so disturbing that there's a part of me which wishes I could unsee it.
The Houses October Built (2014)
Succeeds
For me, this film succeeds in the one and only category that I ever demand of a horror flick- it scared the heck out of me. It loses some points for falling into the cliché of a documentary and - when you stop to think about it - the finding of the film doesn't really make sense. But otherwise, it had an excellent creep factor that kept me with it.