Ace_of_Hearts Reviews

The Hero: Love Story of a Spy (2003)

The name's Deol... Sunny Deol!

[19 February 2004]

Bollywood has finally found its very own James Bond in Sunny Deol. For the Hero has all the ingredients of an Indian Bond film. A story. Bad guys. Bond girls. Gadgets. And a lot of unbelievable action as in over the top.

SPOILERS

In The Hero we meet Major Arun Khanna (Sunny Deol) who is a spy for the Indian government. The Indian government has gotten wind of a group of Pakistani fundamentalists who want to free Kashmir from India. Arun Khanna goes undercover as a major in the Indian army. Stationed at the border he meets the shepardess Reshma (Preity) whom he falls in love with. When the bad guys target them at their engagement party and Reshma ends up missing, it's up to Arun to find them and take them out.

For a long time I wondered how long it would take for Bollywood to come up with its very own Bond, and now it has. This movie has all the Bond ingredients. The baddies in the form of Amrish Puri and his sidekicks are absolutely wicked. Just like some of the SPECTRE members Puri and company are deluded enough to believe in their own plans. You also have the two obligatory Bond girls. One good and obviously the love interest, the lovely Preity. And newcomer Priyanka Chopra as daughter of one of the baddies. And ofcourse we have the Indian Bond Sunny Deol. He plays the silent, strong type who tries on various disguises.

The action is rather enjoyable. The scenery is smashing. And the songs are lovely. There is one difference between The Hero and all the other Bond movies. The Hero pays more attention to the storyline than to the action and the girls as do the Bond movies. Fortunately this is a good thing, cause this movie is very enjoyable, that is if you like James Bond movies. Personally, I can't wait for the sequel.

****/5 stars

Paisa Vasool (2004)

Bollywood/Hollywood remake at its best!

[9/10 · 17 February 2004]

Paisa Vasool manages to succeed where so may others have failed. It has managed to take a Hollywood movie (High Heels and Low Lifes) and add to it its own flavor without losing any of its quality.

SPOILER

Paisa Vasool starts just like its Hollywood counterpart with two women, Sushmita Sen and Manisha Koirala, who accidentally overhear a conversation in which a man confesses committing a jewelry heist to his girlfriend. Being the good citizens that they are, they try to call in the police. The police however ignores them so the two women take the only course of action left to them: they decide to blackmail the robber. Naturally this can not lead to anything good. What follows are attempts of the girls to enrich themselves and attempts of the robbers to wipe them out.

What is so special about Paisa Vasool is the way it starts with a good Hollywood movie and takes on a life of its own. Because of this Paisa Vasool has a very Hollywoodesque quality that expresses itself in the camerawork, very few songs and a minimal love story. The first half of Paisa Vasool pretty much follows HHLL except for a few details. After the intermission the story follows a different line mainly because of the addition of a third main character. Which is also when things start becoming interesting.

This movie is original. It's exciting. It's funny. And Sushmita Sen and Manisha Koirala are very good together. Can't wait to see more of them.

****/5 stars

Out of Control (2003)

Fifty-Fifty

[17 February 2004]

If only I had had the good sense to turn of the DVD after the intermission. Because the first half of Out of Control is pretty good. The story is very simple. MILD SPOILER Indian boy goes to find his fortune in America. The twist comes when there he falls in love with a gori 'exotic' dancer and singer. In India his proud father however has found him a nice Indian ladki. What makes this first half entertaining is its humor, the fact that tradition is thrown into the wind and the fact that you can relate to the actors.

The second half is the exact opposite because the makers of this movie didn't have the courage to follow through with the story. As a result all of the characters start acting out of character and in stead of loving them we start intensely disliking them. The only constant factor is Amrish Puri who sticks to his role like a stamp to a letter.

Watch this at your own peril!

**/5 stars

Janasheen (2003)

What a waste...

[17 February 2004]

Produced, directed and edited by Feroz Khan. Surprising that he didn't write the story aswell, because Janasheen is basically a star vehicle for Mr Khan and Khan junior. The basic premise of the movie SPOILER is: rich mobster bumps off 'competitor' only later to find out he was the father of his 'adopted' son. The story is promising but has unfortunately been given little room for development. The story is just a foundation for motorbike races, fights, songs and beautiful women.

The movie lasts appr. 2 1/2 hours. Subtract from this eight songs of about 6 minutes each (i.e. one song every fifteen minutes), fifteen minutes of racing and fifteen minutes of fighting. This leaves less than half of the movie for the development of the story. Which decreases even further if you subtract all of the irrelevant annoying scenes, such as beautiful women fawning over Fardeen Khan (he ain't all that) and scenes of Feroz Khan praying.

Janasheen loses even more of its attraction because of the many inconsistencies. Ranging from simple things such as arriving in a silver station wagon, but leaving in a red convertible to being in a car that gets hit by a train and not even having a scratch on you. As the movie progresses illogical instances increase. Perhaps Mr Khan was running out of film?

In short, Janasheen has very little to offer unless you like to see beautiful women, Feroz Khan wearing more makeup than Kelly Osbourne and RuPaul put together and motorbike races. Too bad these races aren't even that realistic. I can't remember ever seeing a race in which so many riders crashed nor have I ever seen a race in which sparks literally fly (you'll know what I mean when you see it).

**/5 stars

Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003)

Once again Yash Raj

[17 February 2004]

Yash Raj's films are sentimental. They're emotional. They're dramatic. They're romantic. They're about love, life and relationships. Kal Ho Naa Ho is the latest endeavor and it is no different than any other Yash Raj film. It follows the usual formula and is quite successful at it.

SPOILER

The story goes something like this... Saif Ali Khan falls in love with his best friend Preity Zinta. Preity falls in love with her new neighbour Shah Rukh Khan. SRK loves her, but plays cupid for her and SAK, because he's... dying. For SRK Kal Ho Naa Ho, literally.

The story is quite moving. SRK gives a wonderful performance as usual. SAK plays the playboy who finally finds his true love as he has so many times before. And Preity is the love interest who gets sandwiched in. Kal Ho Naa Ho follows the formula and is executed beautifully. Apart from a few flaws, such as the ease of SRK's qurbani and Preity's acceptance of this qurbani, it's a lovely tale with lovely songs and lovely cameos from Rani and Kajol.

****/5 stars

Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (2001)

Pretty Woman with a lemon twist

[17 February 2004]

SPOILERS

In Chori Chori Chupke Chupke we see the love of a close family. Amrish Puri plays the patriarch of the Malhotra family. His health is ailing and his one desire before he dies is for his grandson Salman Khan to give him a great grandson. Reluctant at first he eventually gives in to his grandfather and agrees to get married. His family arranges for him to wed Rani Mukherjee and before long they are expecting their first child. Unfortunately Rani miscarries and is told by her doctor that she can't have any children anymore. For fear of disappointing their grandfather they decide to find a surrogate mother, which they do in the prostitute Preity. Things go horribly wrong when Preity falls in love with Salman and her maternal instincts start kicking in...

The premise of 4C is quite innovating but too bad it is badly executed. It remains a nice story but it has inconsistencies that have a similar effect as nails on a blackboard. The first half of the story is about the romance between Salman and Rani. Or should I say lack of? Salman and Rani fleetingly meet at a party and promptly her family makes an offer for marriage. What a coincidence... Is this destiny at work? Or does her family make offers to all relatively handsome wealthy men?

Her miscarriage forms the turnpoint of the movie. Ofcourse this is a very tragic tearjerky moment that the viewer saw coming miles away. It's kind of like watching Final Destination and wondering which kitchen utensil or household appliance will prove to be 'fatal'. It was sort or reminiscent of the miscarriage scene in Dil Kya Kare except for the actual means.

Then Preity enters the frame. Which is also where the nails hit the blackboard. Although adoption seems to be the most obvious alternative, it is certainly understandable that they both want the child to be 'fathered' by Salman. But why a prostitute? I suppose there is a certain truth that in traditional Indian culture an unwed woman would not be willing to get pregnant. But does that mean that there are no such women? Maybe not in India, but what about the rest of the world? Even without taking all this in account, a prostitute is hardly the obvious choice given the time we live in. Ever heard of AIDS or other STD's?

What really makes my hair stand at end, however, is the actual getting pregnant bit. There was absolutely no need for Salman to sleep with Preity. Artificial insemination is a complicated procedure which I'm sure the Swiss (where they are staying) have heard of. And even not being interested in AI, there are more primitive methods. For a long time I thought that the turkey baster method was a myth, but if they can do it in If These Walls Could Talk 2 and Popcorn and Chutney, I have two words for our three musketeers... turkey baster.

Nonetheless, if ignoring these DETAILS it is still entertaining to watch Rani and Preity at work. You can almost taste Rani's desire to become a mother even if her motives are a little skewed. The star however is Preity. She really is Pretty Woman in her transformation from working girl to... to what? ... herself, I suppose. It's hardly surprising to watch her fall in love with the first man who has ever shown her true affection and respect. In Salman and his family she finally finds the love she has been craving for. Which makes her sacrifice even more noble and touching. Well done Preity. Her love interest is another matter. Salman Khan is a great actor. Unfortunately his character lacks depth. He gets married because his grandfather wants him to. He wants a child because his grandfather wants a great grandchild. He finds a surrogate because his wife wants him to. The makers should have take an extra page out of Pretty Woman and given Salman Richard Gere's spine.

Finally the dance sequences and songs are wonderful. Especially No. 1 Punjabi and ofcourse the title song Chori Chori Chupke Chupke.

***/5 stars

Pardes (1997)

A little stereotypical, but lovely all the same

[17 February 2004]

Americans have no morals or values. An Indian born in America smokes, drinks and sees women as sexual objects. He's a snob. He has no morals or values. An Indian born in India living in America has morals and values. He is the ideal boyfriend. The ideal husband. The ideal son. The ideal son-in-law. He is Shah Rukh Khan. These are some of the stereotypes prominent in Pardes. If you look past these you actually have quite a lovely story. SPOILER Boy has to get married. Boy gets engaged to traditional Indian girl. Girl believes boy is her Raj Kumar. In his natural environment girl sees his true colors. Girl finds true love in the arms of her fiancé's friend.

Pardes' strong points are surely the actors and actresses in particular Mahima Choudhary. Despite their stereotypical characters, they manage to make their characters tangible. Watching Mahima is an absolute delight and she shows great promise in one of her very first roles. These stereotypes however sometimes stretch the realms of reality. Or should I say reality as perceived by a Westernized Indian?

***/5 stars

Dil Hai Tumhaara (2002)

An ideal picture of love for one's family

[9 February 2004]

Most Indian movies are infused with family values, love, honour, trust and obligation to one's family. Very few I have found as touching and sweet as Dil Hai Tumhaara.

SPOILERS

The story starts 20 years ago. We see the loving happy family of Rekha, her husband and their daughter. All is not how it seems, for Rekha's husband has another family on the sly. By chance Rekha discovers this and on the same night her husband and his 'second' wife die in a car accident. On his death bed he makes his wife promise that she will look after his other daughter Shalu.

As the years pass we see the two girls grow into young women. Approximately twenty years have passed but still Rekha sees 'her' daughter Shalu (Preity Zinta) as a reminder of her husband's infidelity. And her treatment of Shalu as a result of this has left the young girl emotionally scarred. Rekha is far from the evil stepmother for she has given Shalu everything except a mother's love. Despite this Shalu loves her mother dearly. But she has turned into a rebellious young woman. Because she can do no right in her mother's eyes, why bother... The love she has lacked from her mother, her sister Nimmi (Mahima Choudhary) has made up for.

The story gets shifted into second gear when young executive Dev Khanna (Arjun Rampal) shows up capturing both of the girls' hearts. His heart however belongs solely to Shalu. But when Shalu finds out her sister is madly in love with Dev she does what comes naturally to her. She puts her family first, but not before her mother in a rage reveals the truth to both girls.

What is very moving about this movie is the deep love between the two sisters. They truly do not let a man come between them, for both are willing to sacrifice their love and happiness for the other. Not even knowing that they aren't really sisters changes anything. Also the love a lover is willing to sacrifice simply because the other requests this. And ofcourse the love of a mother for a child. Eventually also for a child that is not her own. But as I said in my summary 'an ideal picture of love' for this picture we will very rarely see in real life. And herein lies the strength of this movie. For once it isn't annoying to watch unrealism at work, but comforting because we would all wish to experience this unrealism. The closest most however will come to it is watching it on tv (for three hours in this case).

Besides the lovely story, the acting is also very moving. Preity Zinta has taken on a pretty common role for her doing. As Shalu she is the main character and love-interest. Before long she will be able to switch to auto-pilot as we see so many American actors and actresses do. Rekha is very impressive as the mother. We see her turned into a strong independent woman after her husband's demise. We see her fighting to hold on to the past and her grudge but - thank goodness - losing in the end. But most impressive I found Mahima Choudhary. Not having watched many movies of her, I was pleasantly surprised not only by her appearance but also by her acting. Having seen her wailing and screaming in Dil Kya Kare I didn't have high hopes for her, but I am increasingly becoming her fan. Perhaps it was her character or perhaps it was the way she made her character look real, but in any event I would have to say that she was the shining light in this production.

What I didn't care for much though was the love story line. It is the only thing in the movie that seemed childlike and not very realistic. How could such a casual 'relationship' between Shalu and Dev turn into such a deep love. He might have fallen for her bold character, but considering she didn't express an interest in him untill she found out who he really was, makes one wonder why she fell for him. Perhaps the story would have benefited if Arjun Rampal had been written out of it alltogether and the storyline of best friend Jimmy Shergil deeply in love with Shalu would have been expanded and given more depth. It would have been nice in this case to see that nice guys don't always finish last.

****/5 stars

Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

Maggie Gyllenhaal

[9 February 2004]

Reading all the other reviews it isn't really necessary to tell you what the story is about. Or to tell you that it's not as good as Dead Poets' Society. Or to tell you that it's not very good period. Or that it is rather a disappointment.

But I would still like to put my two cents in. My two cents being that I loved Maggie Gyllenhaal in the movie. And I totally loved her character Giselle. So real. If only they would cut the movie and leave only Maggie's bits in.

And also Marcia Gay Harden... what a shame. Having seen her in The Education of Max Bickford, I found it a great disappointment to see that her role was the complete opposite of the feminist, strong, independent professor she plays in EMB. Perhaps this movie would have been much better if Harden had taken Roberts' role and Roberts had been bumped out altogether, because she didn't seem to fit in this movie.

One thing I found odd, was that there were black and Asian girls in this college. In the fifties? Not being American, perhaps it's possible. Strange nonetheless.

One final thing, I thought the ending stunk. SPOILER Not about her leaving, but the way 'her' girls said goodbye. Puhlease!!!! Can you get more cheesy...

I certainly wouldn't buy this movie. But maybe when it comes out I'll rent it and fast forward through all the bits except the ones with Maggie Gyllenhaal in it.

**/5 stars

Kya Kehna (2000)

Great topic, poor execution

[9 February 2004]

Bollywood is not known for producing movies with controversial issues in them. Most movies are dramas or action adventures. Which is why it is refreshing to see a movie like Kya Kehna about being pregnant out of wedlock.

SPOILERS

It is the story of a young high spirited college girl, Priya (Priety Zinta) who falls madly head over heels in love with bad boy Rahul (Saif Ali Khan). Rahul is the boy no parent wants as a son-in-law. He's handsome and rich, but he's also a flirt who changes girls more often than he changes clothes. He is instantly attracted to Priya's beauty, but I believe more attracted to her because he gets warned over and over again not to go near her by her brothers. Against her family's wishes Priya and Rahul get involved and eventually her parents agree to a marriage. Rahul however doesn't want to know anything about it and it is then that Priya sees Rahul's character. Things spiral out of control when Priya and her family find out that she is pregnant.

The story is very promising. Young girl throws tradition to the wind and stands up to society and her family to protect herself and her child. A very realistic storyline whose execution unfortunately lacks realism. It is the little things that ruin this movie. I can believe Priya's independant, high-spirited character. I can't believe her journey from childlike innocence to responsible maturity. I can believe Rahul's irresponsibility. I can't believe his over the top mother who just seems to disappear in the second half of the movie. I can believe Priya's stigmatisation by society. I can't believe Priya's stigmatisation by the WHOLE of society including all of her college friends of whom I'm sure at least some must have engaged in recreational activities out of wedlock and surely would feel sympathy for her situation. I can believe Priya's tenacity. I can't believe the sudden way in which rejection turns into acceptance.

On top of these unrealistic twists and turns and characters and stories, there are inconsistencies that just turn my stomach at times. Not because they are so horrible, but because they could have easily been amended. The most obvious one is appearance in particular Saif Ali Khan's hair which seems to be able to grow long in a day, be short the next and be long the day after. Furthermore, the way the director tries to portray (grown) girls as school girls in the boarding school scene is atrocious. You cannot give 20-somethings pigtails and a lesson in how to behave as a five-year-old and expect people to believe they are teens. And finally, the monologues at times are horrible, because they are too long and try too hard to make their point.

Over all, this movie tries to deal with a very controversial and contemporary issue which is very commendable. Unfortunately in my opinion it has failed. Not because it is so bad, but because it could have been so much more. This movie can easily be described as OVER THE TOP. Perhaps my views would be different if I hadn't been born and brought up in a western culture. Nonetheless I would not want this to keep you from watching Kya Kehna, because despite its faults it also has redeeming qualities. The strongest of which would be its ending. Predictability is for the first time thrown out of the window and replaced with brash boldness.

**/5 stars

Satte Pe Satta (1982)

No seven wives for seven brothers

[9 February 2004]

Let me start off by saying that Seven Wives for Seven Brothers is by far one of my favorite movies. The story. The music. The humor. The clothes. Which is why I was absolutely extatic when I found out that Satte Pe Satta is a remake of SWSB. After watching Satte Pe Satta I however felt a little disappointed and a little cheated.

Had the makers of this movies stuck to the original SWSB, they would have ended up with a funny romantic musical. Unfortunately most Bollywood movies aren't Bollywood movies unless they contain a certain amount of dushm dushm. Which explains the introduction of an evil uncle, an evil look-a-like hitman and the foremost motive for crime - MONEY.

SPOILERS

Just as SWSB Satte Pe Satta is the story of the lives and loves of seven brothers. There are however eight girls. One of which is a young crippled woman who will come into her fortune at the age of 21. This spurs her evil uncle Amjad Khan (who else?) to hire a hitman who looks exactly like the oldest of the brothers, Amitabh Bachchan. If you think it's impossible for Amitabh to play a bad guy, you are absolutely right. Naturally, as all Bollywood movies this one also comes to a happy end.

The story leaves a little to be desired for. The introduction of a thriller plot is a mistake as the original was more entertaining. The performances nonetheless remain entertaining for the first half of the movie. Hema Malini tries her best to approach the leading lady in the original SWSB, but just falls short. The second half is less entertaining because the dushm dushm takes the upper hand. Nonetheless it is a fun ride.

***/5 stars

Pakeezah (1972)

Overrated?

[9 February 2004]

Pakeezah is a story of family, of values, of pride, but mostly of love. It is a story of the love between two people. And the misguided love of fathers for their sons. Or is it love?

SPOILERS

When the son of a rich man falls in love with a prostitute, he looks beyond her past and marries her. But as loving as he is, that is how stubborn and unforgiving his father is. He rejects his new daughter-in-law who as a broken woman, takes up residence in a cemetary where she lives for only one purpose. To give birth to her child. After the child, a girl, is born, she dies and the child is brought up by her mother's sister who runs the brothel where her mother used to work. The girl, Pakeezah, ends up dancing in this brothel just as her mother before her. One day while travelling by train a stranger, Salim, accidentally wanders into her compartment. He is immediately enchanted by this wonderful creature though mostly by her feet (fetishist?). He writes her a note and she instantly falls in love with the man who wrote this note. Ironically as fate would have it, Salim is the nephew of Pakeezah's father. History is about to repeat itself. Or is it?

A story about an impossible love. A story about destiny. Pakeezah is considered by many to be a cinematic masterpiece. As a novice to classic Bollywood movies it's difficult to put this film in its context. Comparing it to other movies, however, I can't help but wonder whether its fame is a hype or not. Undoubtedly it's a beautiful story. But it's also extremely long and at times tedious. A story strung together by unrealistic coincidences. Maybe this is a sign of destiny at work. Or perhaps it is a sign of a weak script!

I'm glad I watched it, but I infinitely enjoyed movies such as Bobby (with Rishi Kapoor and Dimple Kapadia) and Kudrat (with Hema Malini and Rajesh Khanna) more and those are also classics in their own right.

Pakeezah despite any flaws it might have remains interesting if not for its story then for its history. Pakeezah took fourteen years to complete. Its production was thwarted by the passing of Meena Kumari who plays the main role. Another actress was sought to finish filming this movie and she was meticulously weaved into the story. On another interesting note, some might have noticed that Meena Kumari always hides her left hand. The reason for this is that she was very conscious about the fact she didn't have a pinky finger.

Finally, a word about the music. The songs in Pakeezah are absolutely beautiful and they alone already make this movie worthwile.

***/5 stars

Captured by You (2003)

Hands up... your money AND your love

[4 February 2004]

When I first read this story I thought this is probably a remake or other of a big Hollywood blockbuster. Fortunately I couldn't figure out which one, so I could watch this movie with a completely fresh and objective view. And from a fresh and objective view it was quite refreshing. It's quite difficult to come across a Bollywood movie which has a good balance between romance and suspense. Churaliyaa I believe has managed quite well.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS!!! The story starts off with a daring armoured car robbery. One of the thieves gets away with all the money leaving the others to fend for themselves... in jail. Three years later the jilted thieves look up their cohort and guess what... he ends up dead. But where's the money? The thieves believe that he somehow passed on the money to his niece Tina (Esha Deol). But she doesn't seem to have it and certainly doesn't seem to have any knowledge of the robbery. As the baddies start chasing her and threatening her, she comes to rely on her new boyfriend Vijay (Zayed Khan). But can she really trust him? Can she trust anyone? And where is the money? Slowly we see the story unfold.

Churaliyaa is an entertaining thriller. As with any Bollywood romance/thriller the first part of the movie is focused on the romance and the second part on the thriller. The story now and then interrupted with a few mediocre songs at best. Aah... if only the producers could capture the beauty of the original Churaliyaa Hai Tumne song, but alas... the quality of the golden oldies escapes them leaving them with nothing but titles for new movies.

Churaliyaa does not offer anything new. Just 2 and a half hours of mindless entertainment like most Bollywood movies. The story is not bad, but it's not exceptionally original either. The romancing offers nothing new at all. And the action is as always unbelievable, and that is not a good thing. No matter how often a person gets beaten, kicked, stabbed or shot they manage to get up and still give it their best, unless ofcourse they HAVE to die in the interest of the plot. The fight sequences are similarly unbelievable. Perhaps Zayed Khan is angling for the role of Keanu Reeves in a Bollywood Matrix remake. Nonetheless, it's better than most but certainly no masterpiece.

A final word on the acting. I cannot but speak positively of Esha Deol's performance. Not because her acting was outstanding, because it was simply good (which is also a performance to be proud of), but because when I saw her laughing and dancing I couldn't help but be reminded of Hema Malini. She posesses that same charm and a certain je ne sais quoi which Hema also has. Star potential. This is why later I was not too surprised to find out that she is Hema Malini's daughter.

***/5 stars

Seeta Aur Geeta (1972)

Move over Hayley Mills...

[4 February 2004]

Who has never seen a twin movie? Ever since the rise of the Olson twins Disney and such production companies have produced one twin movie after another. But who remembers the days when turning one person into two people in the same frame wasn't a mere matter of computer technology and whiz kids, but when it was a question of magic. To this day I am amazed at the high technical quality of the Parent Trap with none other than Hayley Mills. This same amazement came over me when I saw Seeta aur Geeta, for it is Bollywood's version of the Parent Trap.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS

On a very rainy night a man and his very pregnant wife seek refuge in a strangers house. There the woman gives birth to two beautiful girls. The woman who helps her deliver cannot have children and in a moment of 'madness' she decides to keep one of the girls. Although the couple is torn over what they have done, they believe it was meant to be especially when upon departure the newly father exclaims his gratitude by saying that if he had had twins he would have surely given one to them.

This is how Seeta and Geeta are seperated at birth. Seeta who is raised by her real parents grows up in a very wealthy home. Unfortunately at a very young age her parents die and her aunt and uncle move in with her. They mistreat her horribly. Rather than treat her as family, they treat her as a slave. Geeta on the other hand grows up in a very poor, but very loving home. As nice and demure as Seeta is, so mischievous and perky Geeta is. Together with her friend Raka she pulls one scam after another. Through a twist of fate the two sisters unknowingly change places. As Geeta Seeta finds the love of a mother she has never known. Whereas Geeta discovers the fortunes she has always craved. Ofcourse the families are baffled by the sudden changes in characters of the two girls. Suddenly their bold scam artist is cooking and cleaning and sowing. And their demure houseslave is giving as good as her sister got in the past.

Ofcourse this situation cannot go on and after a few romantic escapades with Raka and Ravi, events start to unfold and eventually the story reaches its climax.

This movie although in story quite different from The Parent Trap, is extremely funny. Hema Malini is absolutely brilliant as both the good girl and the bad girl. And one can't help but cheer her on. I know I was right there with her on the front line when she was teaching her auntie a lesson or two. The story is also well thought out. Unlike many Bollywood movies it doesn't have too many weird twists and turns. I say this with a little apprehension because naturally any movie that involves two twins changing places by accident or otherwise has some weird twists and turns. However, one takes those for granted when watching two young women fall in love, discovering and appreciating the love of their family and reaching their full potential. If only Bollywood made more movies like this.

*****/5 stars

The Bone Collector (1999)

Read a good book... I mean it!

[2 February 2004]

I suppose if you take the Bone Collector at face value, it's not so bad. The story is alright. There's a certain element of suspense. And the characters seem entertaining enough.

Unfortunately those of us who have actually read the Bone Collector by Jeffery Deaver can't help but be incredibly disappointed. Let me first start off by saying that Jeffery Deaver is a brilliant crime novelist who has developed the two main characters Amelia and Lincoln in a number of novels (The Bone Collector, The Coffin Dancer, The Empty Chair, The Stone Monkey and his latest The Vanished Man). Having read them all, I am every time amazed at his ability to write something so incredibly exciting, detailed, well researched. He is by far one of my favourite authors, which is why it pained me to watch this movie.

Why is it that when Hollywood decides to make a script out of a really great book, they change all the things about that book that make it so great. Naturally you can't salvage all aspects, but basic things should remain the same. Like the victims. Like the killer. Like the main characters.

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD!

BIG SPOILERS about the novel and the movie. First the VICTIMS. The victims in the book are not the same as the victims in the movie. The makers of the movie probably thought there were too many victims in the book so they mixed them up a little and decided to kill a few victims at the same time. Another big difference is the victims don't all die in the book. That's what adds to the suspense. Is someone going to save them or not? It's what keeps you on the edge of your seat. Second the KILLER. Why on earth would you want to change the killer? I just don't get it. By changing the killer you change the motive or in this case take it away all together. Finally, the MAIN CHARACTERS. The last time I checked Lincoln Rhyme wasn't black. Maybe they picked Denzel because he was just really great for the part, but then again... who knows. And his nurse... she's supposed to be a HE named THOM. And as far as Amelia is concerned, why would you want to change her last name from SACHS (in the book) to DONAGHY (in the movie). Let me guess, because when they said Amelia Sachs out loud, it sounded like SEX. Oh no, what a disaster, because people in the movies aren't supposed to have 'funny' names, not like people in real life.

I have tried to look at this movie objectively and objectively it's not bad. It's not great but it's not bad either. I have only one advice for you. If you insist on seeing the movie, read the book first or not at all. If you've already read the book, skip the movie alltogether. I wish I had.

Kudrat (1981)

Wow, what a movie!

[27 January 2004]

This Bollywood movie holds all the elements a good movie is supposed to have. Romance, thriller, suspense. The story - POSSIBLE SPOILERS - is about a young woman (Hema Malini) remembering events from her past life as Paro who was madly in love with Madho, and who one day just disappeared. Dharmendra plays the role of the reincarnated Madho, but unlike Chandramukhi he does not remember his past life and believes Chandramukhi to be mentally ill. Yet he finds himself strangely drawn to her. With the help of a friend psychiatrist (Vinod Khanna) Chandramukhi tries to solve the mystery that haunts her. In flashbacks we see the story unfold which makes for a very suspenseful ride. One can't help but hope that justice will be served for the two lost souls of Paro and Madho. The story is beautiful as is the scenery of Simla. I strongly recommend this movie.

****/5 stars

Rules: Pyaar Ka Superhit Formula (2003)

Definitely a superhit in my DVD rack

[19 January 2004]

It's always hard to know which Bollywood movie might be a gem and which movie might bite. For instance, I found Om Puri's 'Aapke Bhi Pehle Kahin Dekha Hai' awful. Rules definitely falls in the gem category.

The story - SPOILERS coming up - is about a young girl Radha who has a major crush on supermodel Vikram Verma ever since she was fourteen. Unfortunately for an unconspicuous assistant photographer dating Vikram is a dream. Seeing her granddaughter pine for the love of her life her dadi decides to share with her five rules to snag a man.

The story of Rules is told in the third person by characters who don't seem to fit anywhere in the story - except ofcourse for Radha's dadi - which is a very entertaining technique. The story is also very entertaining and at times just plain hilarious. And Rules has something you won't find very often in a Bollywood movie - SPOILER - A very Hollywoodesque full on kiss. Somehow the kiss really fit and gave the movie just a little bit extra. Hopefully other Bollywood productions will pick up on this trend.

*****/5 stars

Chalo Ishq Ladaaye (2002)

Throw Momma from the Train meets Notting Hill meets Bollywood

[19 January 2004]

SPOILER ALERT

'Chalo Isq Ladaaye' is the story of a famous actress Rani and her number one fan Govinda. The two meet each other by chance when Rani in a drunken stupor runs Govinda down with her car. In her drunken state she agrees to killing Govinda's terrorising grandmother if Govinda kills her cheating fiance à la 'Throw Momma from the Train'. Not remembering anything of this she is stunned when her number one fan calls her telling her he has done the deed and now it is her turn. Faced with no other options she and her secretary set off on their mission. Somewhere along the line Rani and Govinda develop feelings for eachother à la Notting Hill.

The story is quite funny. And shows that remakes aren't necessarily awful. The actors are very entertaining. Johnny Lever is an idiot as usual and Rani is adorable as usual. And Govinda's dadi is just priceless. She almost makes the principle in 'Mathilda' pale in comparison. The songs are also quite fun. All in all not a bad way to spend 2 1/4 hours.

***/5 stars

Dil Kya Kare (1999)

Lacking insight in human emotions

[19 January 2004]

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

'Dil Kya Kare' is alright. And that is pretty much all it is. The story is about - BIG SPOILERS - a married couple (Ajay and Mahima) who have a young daughter they adopted when she was a baby. Out of the blue her birth mother Kajol shows up. Mahima takes her in and lets her spend time with her daughter. I found this very commendable of her character as I would have been majorly threatened and probably wouldn't have let Kajol stay in my house for so long. As the story unfolds we discorver that Ajay had a one night stand with Kajol and he's the real father of his daughter. When Mahima finds out she flies into a blind rage and walks out on the lot of them.

What I found very disturbing in this movie is the way human emotions were portrayed. -BIG SPOILERS- Mahima wouldn't let her husband explain. Ajay wouldn't go over to Mahima begging for her forgiveness, but rather seemed to want a wife, a daughter and his former lover. His heartlessness especially shined through when he was willing to sacrifice his daughter to get his wife back. I mean, it says something when the adopted mother seems to care more for the child than the child's real father. And no-one seemed to care about the kid, not even Kajol who put her feelings first by expressing the desire to rip the kid from her family and surroundings. And as far as the kid is concerned, that was THE calmest reaction I have seen on film of a child who just found out her mother is not her mother.

All in all, I had expected more. The characters didn't seem real to me. They were... for lack of a better word... out of proportion.

**/5 stars

Kahin Pyaar Na Ho Jaaye (2000)

What do you get when you put four fingers of Scotch, a wedding singing lush and a no nonsense girl in a blender?

[17 November 2003]

This movie is apparantly a remake of The Wedding Singer. I say apparantly, because I couldn't swear to it myself. I did see The Wedding Singer, but all I can remember is Adam Sandler's goofy hair. So, it's safe to say I watched this movie as an 'original'. Just as Adam Sandler Salman Khan plays a wedding singer. He falls in love. Gets stood up at the altar. Falls in love again. Gets 'stood up' before he can tell her he loves her. And then has to find the courage within to tell her and win her back (may the force be with you, Salman!).

The story is like any other romance. Full of misunderstandings and people who won't tell the other how they feel, but just jump to conclusions. Which just begs the question, are all men in Bollywood movies stupid? Women CANNOT read minds!!! The same question could be asked about women. Men CANNOT read minds, not even their own!!! But then if it wasn't for these horrible depictions of the human nature, the Bollywood industry would probably be reduced to a quarter of its current movie output.

Like any movie, this one also had serious flaws. My first question would be, how can a wedding singer who rehearses in his bedroom, afford to pay an entire team of approximately twelve dancers and six back up singers to sing at weddings for him? He must charge his clients a fortune. Then there is his nasty drinking habit. Let me say that Salman makes a really horrific stupid drunk. He is totally not believable as a drunk and should try to take a page out of SRK's Devdas. Speaking of alcohol, there is a scene *SPOILER* in which Rani downs three glasses of Scotch (I believe), instantly starts hiccuping and is drunk. Give me a break!!! Naturally there is also a scene involving an electrical guitar that doesn't seem to be plugged in, but that doesn't even bug me anymore, cause it seems that in India or any other country Indians can play electrical guitars without plugging it in, take for instance Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. And how about a girl *SPOILER* who has spent her entire life dreaming of an acting career, giving up the opportunity to star in a hot directors movie to be with a womanizing alcoholic. I mean, please, would you say no if Quentin Tarantino asked you to be in his movie, because of your sexist chauvinist boyfriend who has spent most of his life with his lips pressed to a glass of Scotch and his hands on some girl's ass?

But leaving all the inconsistencies aside, it's a nice movie. Salman is just bearable. It's hard to spend three hours watching a man who spends half the movie drunk, a quarter of it crying and the rest talking about love. Salman, grow a spine. Rani was quite adorable. Spunky and sweet. And she shows us that bhajjia can stop us from sneezing. The setting of the movie is also refreshing and quite picturesque. Some of the characters are unnecessary. Obviously added to offer a little comic relief, but in the end just plain annoying. The same goes for the songs. They just seem so fake. And... they don't stick. In one ear, out the other.

All in all, this is a nice movie. With a little work it could have been a great movie. But no work, so no great movie. Watch it if you like Rani, because otherwise watching Salman is a punishment with no rewards to make the pain go away.

**/5 stars

Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon (2003)

Overacted... but moving, so give it a break!!!

[8/10 · 17 November 2003]

Talk about a movie getting bad reviews on the IMDB. I am kind of surprised. Cause this movie did NOT suck. Let me first start with the story. Sanjana (Kareena Kapoor) falls in love with Prem (Hritik Roshan), a man chosen by her parents to marry her. After he has finally won her heart, her parents find out that they mistook him for his boss. Meaning the boss has money, he doesn't. So her mother and her sister encourage her to get along with the boss also called Prem (Abhishek Bachchan). Now start the woes. Does she choose the man she loves? Or does she obey her mother and marry the boss who has fallen in love with her?

The first half of the movie was annoying at best. Both Kareena and Hritik indulged in overacting. Their childish behaviour was enough to wanna make you throw the remote at the tv. This all, however, made the second half an even bigger surprise. It showed us a Kareena that can actually act provided she isn't cast in the role of dim lightbulb or bimbo cheerleader. I found her performance very moving. I actually felt for her. Hritik unfortunately remained annoying, not for his childish behaviour this time, but for acting like a total spineless jerk. As for the other characters. The mother you wouldn't wish on anyone. I'm surprised her husband didn't throttle her a long time ago. And well, Abhishek Bachchan. This is the first movie of his I have seen. And I swear, when he gets out of the car, he looked like the spitting image of his father. I found him quite adorable.

So, let's recap. The movie isn't original. The acting isn't the greatest you have ever seen. But... it's a nice, moving story. To be honest, I even cried a little. Well worth the watch.

And the movie quoting parrot was NOT annoying, he was funny. Just like the cartoon dog.

***/5 stars

Deewangee (2002)

Mmmmhhh... could have been better, but that would be expecting too much

[14 November 2003]

When watching this movie I remembered why I usually prefer Bollywood love stories over Bollywood thrillers. Because whenever I watch a Bollywood thriller I spend half of the time screaming at the actors and actresses to stop being stupid, dizzy cows. Deewangee is no different. The story is based on Hollywood's Primal Fear with Akshaye Khanna as the lawyer Raj and Ajay Devgan as the psycho Tarang. *POSSIBLE SPOILER* Tarang is accused of murdering a man and Raj is the lawyer defending him. Raj finds out that Tarang has a split personality and gets him off. Then Tarang reveals he was faking it, which is when the trouble really hits the fan. Naturally there is also a pretty lady involved who is pretty much the protagonist, because she is the reason Tarang kills and she is also the reason Raj is so desperate to put Tarang in jail where he belongs.

First of all, let's start with the actors. Although Ajay is no Edward Norton, he was simply brilliant switching between sweet, charming Tarang and his wicked alter ego Ranjit. His facial expressions actually nicely displayed his inner feelings. He loves the girl. He wants to marry the girl. And in his deluded head she loves and wants to marry him. So he is willing to do anything to protect that. Ofcourse sane people wouldn't take anything as far as he does, cos as the movie progresses the body count rises. And what about Akshaye... he's actually quite good, but unfortunately indulges in sulking and overacting which is a real shame. But not all is his fault, because Ajay has a way of stealing every scene they are in together. On a personal note, I liked Akshaye better in Dil Chahta Hai playing the sensitive artsy guy. And finally the leading lady Urmila who has no charisma whatsoever. How two guys end up trying to kill eachother over her is beyond me. She can't do scared out of her wits, she can't do shocked and she can't do empowered woman. She should take a page out of Neve Campbell's Scream days and learn to kick butt.

Just like most Bollywood movies this one had scenes so inconsistent and illogical I wanted to dive into the tv and whack someone. The worst scene was however the looney bin. *SPOILER* Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't psychiatrists trained professionals with experience in dealing with schizophrenic psycho's? So, how on earth does Tarang manage to convince them that he didn't attack his lawyer, but that his lawyer injured himself? Granted, he was telling the truth. But as a psychiatrist treating a murderer, I think I would give the lawyer the benefit of the doubt instead of swallowing some sob story by the psycho like a caramel cake. And I surely wouldn't be ready to let the patient leave having seen him headlock the lawyer. The second worst scene involves fifty policemen failing to catch the psycho who manages to flee them, knock out a driver, change into his clothes and get behind the wheel of a car in the span of three minutes. Give me a break!!! I could go on, but I'll run out of space.

But it's not all bad. Because, let's face it, it's not like Hollywood thrillers are always that consistent and logical. And many times I have found myself calling Hollywood actors and actresses stupid dizzy cows. So, all in all, Deewangee is OK and it is made better by Ajay's performance. It would have been better if they had given the leading lady a kick butt role, but then Akshaye wouldn't have been able to rescue the damsel in distress. And as far as endings go, it was a pretty predictable one... let's see if you can guess it before the end of the first half of the movie like I did.

***/5 stars

The New Guy (2002)

Eliza

[14 November 2003]

If there is one type of movie I don't like, it's high school movies. For the main reason that high school isn't like that. You don't have groups of nerds who play chess, groups of jocks, groups of cheerleaders etc. At least not in Europe. Maybe it's strictly an American thing. Yet I find myself watching these movies every single time, because secretly I enjoy watching the 'loser' beat the populars and win the girl or guy.

An example of a loveable nerd wins dreambeau movie is 'Never been kissed' with Drew Barrymore. The difference between that movie and this one being that you actually like watching Drew. But maybe that's because Drew doesn't give out that loser vibe, whereas DJ Qualls does. You can't help feeling sorry for the poor git and for burrying your head in the cushions every time he does something extremely stupid.

Which all makes me wonder, whether American girls are really like that. Attracted to ex-con psychos? Shallow? Tubelights? Or is it just cheerleaders?

To be honest, I didn't want to watch the movie. I wanted to watch Eliza Dushku. And frankly that's the only reason to watch this movie. Fast forward through all the bits without her and you might actually really like it. I didn't fast forward, so for me Eliza is the only reason I didn't completely hate it.

**/5 stars

Ladies Room (II) (1999)

Ugh...

[14 November 2003]

This is the first DVD I ever bought. I was having my player delivered and I wanted to have a DVD so I could check if it worked. I bought this particular DVD because the story sounded funny, but mainly because it was cheap, only 5 euros.

If there is one thing I have learned from this movie, it's that you get what you pay for, because this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Granted it improves as it moves along, that is if you get past the first thirty minutes. The only reason I watched the entire movie is because I'd rather watch an hour and a half of an average movie than thirty minutes of a really bad movie. And fortunately it did move from really bad to average. But that won't give me my 5 euros back will it?

My advice, don't buy it, don't rent it, don't watch it.

0/5 stars

Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

What a waste of time!!!

[14 November 2003]

'Intolerable Cruelty' is a story about a divorce attorney falling for his client's soon to be ex-wife. What distinguishes this lawyer from all the others is that he's such incredible scum he can actually win cases when his client is caught on videocamera with his pants off doing the squelchy with a 20-year-old bimbo. What distinguishes the ex-wife is that she's pleased that her husband is cheating on her, because she only married him so she could divorce him for the money. For the rest of the movie George and Catherine play a cat and mouse game where he tries to steal her heart and she tries to steal his checking account.

Sounds funny doesn't it? Sounds like a romantic comedy, doesn't it? I thought it did. I went to the cinemas expecting to watch a nice romantic comedy à la Miss Congeniality or French Kiss or... you get the idea. Well, guess what? It's not funny. Not in the slightest bit. The only funny scene was when Catherine's dog bit George's hand and I still hated that scene because I wanted the dog to bite off George's head so the movie would be over. If I hadn't paid a lot of money to watch it and if I had been alone, I would have walked out on it.

Perhaps I am not artsy enough to get it. Perhaps my taste in movies is too shallow to appreciate this cinematic 'master'piece. Or perhaps it really does blow.

The only reason to watch this movie is to see Catherine look smoulderingly sexy.

0/5 stars