The efforts of Sassy the Cat to make Tundra the Dog's life a misery. Is this a simple case of feline intelligence outwitting man's best friend or is there a sting in the tail..? Well, this is the first time I've ever reviewed a video but somebody has to persuade you to watch this. This is very entertaining, very professionally put together, rather beautiful and takes up less than six minutes of our lives! Thanks to the Kaufmann Family efforts for putting a smile on my face
Reviews
20 Reviews
Deadtime
(2012)
Slippery Slapdash Slasher Shines Slightly
25 April 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Director Tony Jopia and writer Stephen Bishop bring us DeadTime, a rock 'n' rollin' British entry in the slasher genre.
Love Meets Murder are a 'rock'n'metal' band whose last album flopped. Given one last chance of redemption, they are whisked away to a studio in the Midlands to record their 'magnum opus'. Along with their manager and PR team making the accompanying video, they are locked inside for the weekend...
The opening of this film disingenuously states that it stars both Leslie Grantham, an actor probably most famous for his role in EastEnders, and Terry Christian known more for being a TV presenter. Neither of them have roles of any particular significance and are not seen for more than the opening few minutes. similarly, Joe Egan the boxer-turned-actor, turns up later in a cameo which adds nothing to the storyline. Added to this is the appearance of Ian Hill from the group Judas Priest.
Regardless of the above-mentioned cheap selling points, viewed simply as a slasher movie, this is a fair effort, the high points being the over-the-top performances from Laurence Saunders as the madly murderous Zack and John R. Walker's equally outrageous camp performance as Rupert. There are a requisite number of gruesome deaths with some nice variations on the theme. The location, supposedly a former post office, has a nicely spooky feeling to it with lots of floors, corridors and interconnecting rooms.
Disappointingly, not all of the acting is up to a suitably high enough standard to lift this film into the realms of great slasher movies. The cast are not helped by a script which requires them to spend most of their time simply swearing and shouting at each other. Along with the lack of coherence in dialogue there are also huge plot holes which simply cannot be glossed over. Slack editing has led to a slightly overlong running time of 98 minutes of which the first hour, prior to our slasher being revealed, appears to linger, the tempo suddenly increasing along with the excitement of the chase.
Other reviewers more harshly critical of this attempt than myself may like to bear in mind that the budget for this film was a mere £25,000. a fair effort in the circumstances.
Love Meets Murder are a 'rock'n'metal' band whose last album flopped. Given one last chance of redemption, they are whisked away to a studio in the Midlands to record their 'magnum opus'. Along with their manager and PR team making the accompanying video, they are locked inside for the weekend...
The opening of this film disingenuously states that it stars both Leslie Grantham, an actor probably most famous for his role in EastEnders, and Terry Christian known more for being a TV presenter. Neither of them have roles of any particular significance and are not seen for more than the opening few minutes. similarly, Joe Egan the boxer-turned-actor, turns up later in a cameo which adds nothing to the storyline. Added to this is the appearance of Ian Hill from the group Judas Priest.
Regardless of the above-mentioned cheap selling points, viewed simply as a slasher movie, this is a fair effort, the high points being the over-the-top performances from Laurence Saunders as the madly murderous Zack and John R. Walker's equally outrageous camp performance as Rupert. There are a requisite number of gruesome deaths with some nice variations on the theme. The location, supposedly a former post office, has a nicely spooky feeling to it with lots of floors, corridors and interconnecting rooms.
Disappointingly, not all of the acting is up to a suitably high enough standard to lift this film into the realms of great slasher movies. The cast are not helped by a script which requires them to spend most of their time simply swearing and shouting at each other. Along with the lack of coherence in dialogue there are also huge plot holes which simply cannot be glossed over. Slack editing has led to a slightly overlong running time of 98 minutes of which the first hour, prior to our slasher being revealed, appears to linger, the tempo suddenly increasing along with the excitement of the chase.
Other reviewers more harshly critical of this attempt than myself may like to bear in mind that the budget for this film was a mere £25,000. a fair effort in the circumstances.
Fertile Ground
(2011)
Fertile Futility
29 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Director, co-writer and even cast member, Adam Gierasch brings us the tale of Emily Weaver, a city girl who, after her miscarriage is whisked by her husband to his family home in rural Iowa.
The country idyll and her own recovery begin to pale as she discovers the grizzly past of former occupants whose malevolent spirits haunt the house. Discovering that she is pregnant again, she realises that she may face the same fate as previous expectant mothers who were killed by their partners...
...at least, that's what we are led to believe. The truth turns out to be much more prosaic and is, unfortunately, one of a number of downfalls which help to make this attempt so disappointing. Seen through the eyes of our heroine, she sees her artist husband's agent Risa attempting a romantic intrigue with him, her best friend Brittany conspiring with him and the man himself falling into madness whilst plotting her demise.
We are of course given enough clues - depression, stopping medication, hints of paranoia - to work out the truth and to guess the ending which takes an overlong time to appear on the horizon.
Whilst there are a few scary and gory moments, there is not enough here even to pad out an hour and a half which means it feels like two hours or more until we reach a quite expected denouement. Stephan Sechi's soundtrack does little to enhance particularly as it is frequently played at a level which drowns out dialogue - although this could be claimed to improve things slightly as the characters seem to have to carefully explain everything to each other in case we miss anything. Shot on location, the starkness of the Iowan landscape, although hinted at, is largely wasted.
Leisha Hailey does fairly well as Emily Weaver despite - or perhaps because of - depending on one's point of view - the almost obsessive images of her cleavage and breasts. Less convincing in their roles are Gale Harold as her husband Nate, Stephanie Brown as Risa and JoNell Kennedy as Brittany.
Whilst IMDb does not give a budget for this film, this would seem to be the biggest stumbling block. The camera work, location shooting and general air of cleverness seem to indicate an attempt to produce a serious horror movie. Perhaps the makers would have been better off with a smaller budget and a chance to ham it up a little...
One footnote: The chapter headings were both pointless and annoying.
The country idyll and her own recovery begin to pale as she discovers the grizzly past of former occupants whose malevolent spirits haunt the house. Discovering that she is pregnant again, she realises that she may face the same fate as previous expectant mothers who were killed by their partners...
...at least, that's what we are led to believe. The truth turns out to be much more prosaic and is, unfortunately, one of a number of downfalls which help to make this attempt so disappointing. Seen through the eyes of our heroine, she sees her artist husband's agent Risa attempting a romantic intrigue with him, her best friend Brittany conspiring with him and the man himself falling into madness whilst plotting her demise.
We are of course given enough clues - depression, stopping medication, hints of paranoia - to work out the truth and to guess the ending which takes an overlong time to appear on the horizon.
Whilst there are a few scary and gory moments, there is not enough here even to pad out an hour and a half which means it feels like two hours or more until we reach a quite expected denouement. Stephan Sechi's soundtrack does little to enhance particularly as it is frequently played at a level which drowns out dialogue - although this could be claimed to improve things slightly as the characters seem to have to carefully explain everything to each other in case we miss anything. Shot on location, the starkness of the Iowan landscape, although hinted at, is largely wasted.
Leisha Hailey does fairly well as Emily Weaver despite - or perhaps because of - depending on one's point of view - the almost obsessive images of her cleavage and breasts. Less convincing in their roles are Gale Harold as her husband Nate, Stephanie Brown as Risa and JoNell Kennedy as Brittany.
Whilst IMDb does not give a budget for this film, this would seem to be the biggest stumbling block. The camera work, location shooting and general air of cleverness seem to indicate an attempt to produce a serious horror movie. Perhaps the makers would have been better off with a smaller budget and a chance to ham it up a little...
One footnote: The chapter headings were both pointless and annoying.
The Thaw
(2009)
Walking on Thin Ice...
2 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Directed and co-written by Mark A. Lewis, the Thaw is an ecological horror movie set somewhere in the Arctic.
Due to global warming, a parasite which threatens our very existence has emerged from the body of an extinct woolly mammoth.
Val Kilmer is the scientist trying to warn the World of the danger. Complications ensue when his daughter, along with some students, arrives at the Arctic research station.
The opening credits of this film were accompanied by what were supposedly various media clips concerning global warning. I found this so annoying that by the time the plot - what little there was - unfolded, I had already lost interest in both subject and characters. Suffice to say that I spent about an hour and a half (although it felt more like three hours) wondering why... Why were the students chosen so incredibly unintelligent? Why is Val Kilmer so famous? Why was the acting so abysmal? Why was the plot so awful? Other questions came to mind... One student went loopy, threatening to shoot the others, got knocked cold and woke up... with his gun still beside him - why didn't anybody pick up the gun? Talking of guns, how coincidental was it that when the girl wanted to shoot down the helicopter there was a gun handily placed on the ground beside her? I could go on but to be honest I'd just end up being as boring as the film. I will finish with three observations:-
As is the case with too many of these films, there is a tagged on ending which hints at the possibility of a sequel. Please!
Buried deep amongst the end credits is the entry naming one Paul Burke as Val Kilmer's Personal Trainer. I have no idea of what this could possibly refer to...
I imagine the budget for this film ran into millions of dollars. Probably more than that cheap horror film with a similar scenario 'cabin Fever', which despite hardly hitting the cinematic heights of greatness, was still far superior to this drivel.
Due to global warming, a parasite which threatens our very existence has emerged from the body of an extinct woolly mammoth.
Val Kilmer is the scientist trying to warn the World of the danger. Complications ensue when his daughter, along with some students, arrives at the Arctic research station.
The opening credits of this film were accompanied by what were supposedly various media clips concerning global warning. I found this so annoying that by the time the plot - what little there was - unfolded, I had already lost interest in both subject and characters. Suffice to say that I spent about an hour and a half (although it felt more like three hours) wondering why... Why were the students chosen so incredibly unintelligent? Why is Val Kilmer so famous? Why was the acting so abysmal? Why was the plot so awful? Other questions came to mind... One student went loopy, threatening to shoot the others, got knocked cold and woke up... with his gun still beside him - why didn't anybody pick up the gun? Talking of guns, how coincidental was it that when the girl wanted to shoot down the helicopter there was a gun handily placed on the ground beside her? I could go on but to be honest I'd just end up being as boring as the film. I will finish with three observations:-
As is the case with too many of these films, there is a tagged on ending which hints at the possibility of a sequel. Please!
Buried deep amongst the end credits is the entry naming one Paul Burke as Val Kilmer's Personal Trainer. I have no idea of what this could possibly refer to...
I imagine the budget for this film ran into millions of dollars. Probably more than that cheap horror film with a similar scenario 'cabin Fever', which despite hardly hitting the cinematic heights of greatness, was still far superior to this drivel.
Cabin Fever
(2002)
(Wooden) Cabin Fever (Failure)
25 October 2014
Warning: Spoilers
In the seemingly endless chain of modern horror movies Cabin Fever has achieved something of a cult status. This can surely be put down to the various production asides rather than any aesthetic viewing experience.
The debut film of director Eli Roth from his own story concerns five college graduates who rent a cabin in the woods. Unfortunately for them a flesh-eating virus has entered the local water supply. After they kill an infected victim things soon degenerate. The group begins to disintegrate as self-preservation and selflessness come to the fore. Matters come to a head when the involvement of both the local population and officials leads to an even higher level of danger.
Stock characters are clearly delineated from the start, thus we have heroic Paul (Rider Strong), nice girl Karen (Jordan Ladd), trampy girl Marcy (Cerina Vincent), dimwit Bert (James DeBello) and the egocentric strange one Jeff (Joey Kern).
In the old days (i.e. the 70s) we could ascertain with a fair degree of certainty which of these people would survive. In the ways of modern horror, Cabin Fever prefers to give us characters with few if any redemptive or empathic features. Accordingly, the ending - even with any lame twists - fails to either surprise or please. The 90-odd previous minutes contain some gory scenes, largely ordinary acting, some poor acting from minor characters, fairly good special effects and some very poor dialogue interspersed with an overuse of the 'f' word. The plot becomes increasingly unfathomable as the film progresses until it eventually simply runs out of steam. There is a soundtrack which simply adds to the annoyance.
Since the 2002 release of this film there have been two sequels (with a third in production) and a remake, none of which were necessary.
One further point which most reviewers either missed or chose not to mention: At one point Old Man Cadwell (played by Robert Harris), running the shop, makes a racist comment. Later, almost as if by an act of contrition, there is a 'twist' scene involving the same character. Great horror films almost invariably contain comic scenes. If that was the purpose here, in this reviewers' opinion it failed miserably and merely left a bad taste...
The debut film of director Eli Roth from his own story concerns five college graduates who rent a cabin in the woods. Unfortunately for them a flesh-eating virus has entered the local water supply. After they kill an infected victim things soon degenerate. The group begins to disintegrate as self-preservation and selflessness come to the fore. Matters come to a head when the involvement of both the local population and officials leads to an even higher level of danger.
Stock characters are clearly delineated from the start, thus we have heroic Paul (Rider Strong), nice girl Karen (Jordan Ladd), trampy girl Marcy (Cerina Vincent), dimwit Bert (James DeBello) and the egocentric strange one Jeff (Joey Kern).
In the old days (i.e. the 70s) we could ascertain with a fair degree of certainty which of these people would survive. In the ways of modern horror, Cabin Fever prefers to give us characters with few if any redemptive or empathic features. Accordingly, the ending - even with any lame twists - fails to either surprise or please. The 90-odd previous minutes contain some gory scenes, largely ordinary acting, some poor acting from minor characters, fairly good special effects and some very poor dialogue interspersed with an overuse of the 'f' word. The plot becomes increasingly unfathomable as the film progresses until it eventually simply runs out of steam. There is a soundtrack which simply adds to the annoyance.
Since the 2002 release of this film there have been two sequels (with a third in production) and a remake, none of which were necessary.
One further point which most reviewers either missed or chose not to mention: At one point Old Man Cadwell (played by Robert Harris), running the shop, makes a racist comment. Later, almost as if by an act of contrition, there is a 'twist' scene involving the same character. Great horror films almost invariably contain comic scenes. If that was the purpose here, in this reviewers' opinion it failed miserably and merely left a bad taste...
Arachnid
(2001)
Arduous and Arid Arachnid
17 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Arachnid opens with a giant water spout on top of which would appear to be a UFO capable of becoming invisible. This attracts the attention of a stealth fighter pilot who ejects from his plane seconds before it crashes into the UFO. Having safely parachuted onto a jungle island, the pilot confronts and shoots an alien only to find himself facing a giant spider...
We are transported both forward in time and geographically to Guam where locals from the aforementioned island are dying from spider bites. In order to find a cure an expedition is raised thus giving our film makers the opportunity to introduce the usual collection of clichéd characters and gradually eliminate most of them.
Our motley crew are made up of Valentine (Chris Potter) the gung-ho gun-toting hero, his sidekicks Reyes (Luis Lorenzo Crespo) and Bear (Roqueford Allen), Mercer (Alex Reid) the tough as boots charter pilot also on a mission to find out what happened to her fighter pilot brother, Dr. Samuel Leon (Jose Sancho), his glamorous but tough assistant Susana (Neus Asensi), Henry Capri (Ravil Isyanov), arachnologist and a few of the islanders.
Suffice to say that they soon find themselves arguing with each other and eventually, as their numbers dwindle, bonding. In between, various members of the party come to sticky ends involving body infesting giant ticks, cocoons and the title character.
This formulaic dross is only enlivened in small parts by one or two special effects moments, the giant spider being the highlight - although even this is let down by the sight of it 'running'. Most of the cast seem to be more well-known on the small screen which is quite apt as the dialogue is certainly not up to the standards of a major motion picture. The music seems to have absolutely no connection to what is happening on the screen and simply jars. Background sounds of waves breaking and jungle noises are loud enough to drown out speech which itself is often totally unintelligible. The original involvement of alien creatures is never clearly explained - unfortunately merely a prelude to various plot holes. To top all this off, we have yet another film without a proper ending. Whether this is done in the expectation of a sequel or simply because the budgetary pot ran dry is a matter of conjecture.
Whilst most of this can be explained away as being caused by budgetary restraints - apparently only $570,000 dollars was wasted - blame must largely lie with screenplay writer Mark Seri and director Jack Sholder.
We are transported both forward in time and geographically to Guam where locals from the aforementioned island are dying from spider bites. In order to find a cure an expedition is raised thus giving our film makers the opportunity to introduce the usual collection of clichéd characters and gradually eliminate most of them.
Our motley crew are made up of Valentine (Chris Potter) the gung-ho gun-toting hero, his sidekicks Reyes (Luis Lorenzo Crespo) and Bear (Roqueford Allen), Mercer (Alex Reid) the tough as boots charter pilot also on a mission to find out what happened to her fighter pilot brother, Dr. Samuel Leon (Jose Sancho), his glamorous but tough assistant Susana (Neus Asensi), Henry Capri (Ravil Isyanov), arachnologist and a few of the islanders.
Suffice to say that they soon find themselves arguing with each other and eventually, as their numbers dwindle, bonding. In between, various members of the party come to sticky ends involving body infesting giant ticks, cocoons and the title character.
This formulaic dross is only enlivened in small parts by one or two special effects moments, the giant spider being the highlight - although even this is let down by the sight of it 'running'. Most of the cast seem to be more well-known on the small screen which is quite apt as the dialogue is certainly not up to the standards of a major motion picture. The music seems to have absolutely no connection to what is happening on the screen and simply jars. Background sounds of waves breaking and jungle noises are loud enough to drown out speech which itself is often totally unintelligible. The original involvement of alien creatures is never clearly explained - unfortunately merely a prelude to various plot holes. To top all this off, we have yet another film without a proper ending. Whether this is done in the expectation of a sequel or simply because the budgetary pot ran dry is a matter of conjecture.
Whilst most of this can be explained away as being caused by budgetary restraints - apparently only $570,000 dollars was wasted - blame must largely lie with screenplay writer Mark Seri and director Jack Sholder.
Dead End
(I) (2003)
Deadly Debut
11 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
It is Christmas Eve and Frank Harrington (Ray Wise) is making the annual pilgrimage to his mother-in-law's. Accompanying him are his wife Laura (Lin Shaye), son Richard (Mick Cain), daughter Marion (Alexandra Holden and his daughter's fiancé Brad (Billy Asher). For the first time in twenty years he has decided to take the scenic route...
After falling asleep at the wheel and hitting another car the family come across the mysterious Lady in White (Amber Smith) and their initial attempts to help her lead them into a deadly and seemingly perpetual journey involving gory deaths and a mysterious black car.
This attempt at a familiar horror genre is lifted to a slightly higher level than the norm due to a well-crafted script which, aside from having some well-timed comic lines, gradually allows us to see bubbling family resentments coming to the surface as madness descends. Whilst there is little in the way of on-screen gore we are given enough clues to - if you'll pardon the pun - piece together the pieces. The arbitrary twist ending is quite clever enough to satisfy this reviewer at least and the film does not overstay its 85 minute length.
Considering that the budget for this film was reportedly $900,000, first-time directors and writers Jean-Baptiste Andrea and Fabrice Canepa have put together a taut little thriller aided by Greg de Belles' minimalist score. We often find in low budget horror films a motley cast made up largely of amateurs and members of the production crew. Fortunately, other than débutant Billy Asher the main players here are experienced enough to add a little gloss to the proceedings. Special effects, along with cinematography and editing, considering obvious budgetary restraints are more than passable.
After falling asleep at the wheel and hitting another car the family come across the mysterious Lady in White (Amber Smith) and their initial attempts to help her lead them into a deadly and seemingly perpetual journey involving gory deaths and a mysterious black car.
This attempt at a familiar horror genre is lifted to a slightly higher level than the norm due to a well-crafted script which, aside from having some well-timed comic lines, gradually allows us to see bubbling family resentments coming to the surface as madness descends. Whilst there is little in the way of on-screen gore we are given enough clues to - if you'll pardon the pun - piece together the pieces. The arbitrary twist ending is quite clever enough to satisfy this reviewer at least and the film does not overstay its 85 minute length.
Considering that the budget for this film was reportedly $900,000, first-time directors and writers Jean-Baptiste Andrea and Fabrice Canepa have put together a taut little thriller aided by Greg de Belles' minimalist score. We often find in low budget horror films a motley cast made up largely of amateurs and members of the production crew. Fortunately, other than débutant Billy Asher the main players here are experienced enough to add a little gloss to the proceedings. Special effects, along with cinematography and editing, considering obvious budgetary restraints are more than passable.
Final Destination
(2000)
First Final, Forgettable,Four Following?
2 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Final Destination can safely be described as a 'teen horror' largely peopled by and clearly aimed at teenagers.
The plot, such as it is, concerns Alex Browning (played by Devon Sawa) who is preparing for a school trip to Paris, France. His premonition of imminent disaster leads to him and several other characters leaving the subsequently doomed flight. However, 'Death' will not be cheated so easily...
The first act of this film leading up to and including the destruction of Flight 180 leads us to believe that we are watching a horror film with serious intent. Whilst there are comic vignettes being played out in typical teen fashion there is an underlying build up of tension.
Unfortunately for this viewer at least, as soon as the characters are delineated and plot development clearly laid out, any serious intent is drowned out by an over-clever reliance on the formulaic filmmaking which has become the norm with this genre. Lead - or rather, 'stock' - characters other than our hero include the obligatory quirky girl Clear Rivers (Ali Larter), tough guy Carter Horton (Kerr Smith chewing up the scenery), his trampish girl Terry Chaney (Amanda Detmer), the hero's best friend Tod Waggner (Chad Donella), Billy Hitchcock (Sean William Scott) and teacher Valerie Lewton (Kristen Cloke). We can gain virtually no satisfaction at this point in working out the survival rate and the order of demise. Minor, yet somehow more interesting roles are given to Tony Todd as mortician Bludworth (a wasted part seemingly used simply to explain what is going on), and Daniel Roebuck alongside Roger Guenveur Smith as FBI Agents Weine and Schreck respectively, nicely bouncing off each other. Death's modus operandi veers between extremely complicated with lots of red herrings along the way (Tod's suicidal tendencies giving way to an eventual accidental hanging; Mrs. Lewton and a bizarre combination of steam, gas, electricity, alcohol, fire and kitchen knives), to the dramatic take-your-breath away split-second splattering moment (both Terry and Billy).
Unfortunately this is not enough to sustain our interest for what seems an overlong hour and a half. Clunky dialogue, predictable turns (particularly the 'twist' ending) and a story that (despite other reviewers - probably much younger than myself - claiming otherwise)is hardly original in concept leaves us with a finished product which whilst not being 'bad' simply does not rise above the dross that makes up the vast majority of this genre. for this we have to blame director and co-writer James Wong along with his writing cohorts Glen Morgan and Jeffrey Reddick. The overuse of foreshadowing along with too many visual references - '180' pops up again and again which would be fine if the film were released under the working title of Flight 180 - in-jokes like naming characters after famous horror stars and directors; and an obsession with people sitting on toilet seats all indicate the fun the makers were having. All of which simply detracts from the point of the exercise. Background music courtesy of Adam Hamilton and Shirley Walker could best be described as a cross between forgettable and bland but fortunately remains firmly in the background.
The estimated budget for this film was $23 million, most of which, judging by the credits, went on special effects which were actually fairly impressive. Unfortunately special effects alone seldom make great movies.
Up to this time, this film has spawned three sequels and a prequel. It is to be hoped by this reviewer at least, that they are improvements on the original...
The plot, such as it is, concerns Alex Browning (played by Devon Sawa) who is preparing for a school trip to Paris, France. His premonition of imminent disaster leads to him and several other characters leaving the subsequently doomed flight. However, 'Death' will not be cheated so easily...
The first act of this film leading up to and including the destruction of Flight 180 leads us to believe that we are watching a horror film with serious intent. Whilst there are comic vignettes being played out in typical teen fashion there is an underlying build up of tension.
Unfortunately for this viewer at least, as soon as the characters are delineated and plot development clearly laid out, any serious intent is drowned out by an over-clever reliance on the formulaic filmmaking which has become the norm with this genre. Lead - or rather, 'stock' - characters other than our hero include the obligatory quirky girl Clear Rivers (Ali Larter), tough guy Carter Horton (Kerr Smith chewing up the scenery), his trampish girl Terry Chaney (Amanda Detmer), the hero's best friend Tod Waggner (Chad Donella), Billy Hitchcock (Sean William Scott) and teacher Valerie Lewton (Kristen Cloke). We can gain virtually no satisfaction at this point in working out the survival rate and the order of demise. Minor, yet somehow more interesting roles are given to Tony Todd as mortician Bludworth (a wasted part seemingly used simply to explain what is going on), and Daniel Roebuck alongside Roger Guenveur Smith as FBI Agents Weine and Schreck respectively, nicely bouncing off each other. Death's modus operandi veers between extremely complicated with lots of red herrings along the way (Tod's suicidal tendencies giving way to an eventual accidental hanging; Mrs. Lewton and a bizarre combination of steam, gas, electricity, alcohol, fire and kitchen knives), to the dramatic take-your-breath away split-second splattering moment (both Terry and Billy).
Unfortunately this is not enough to sustain our interest for what seems an overlong hour and a half. Clunky dialogue, predictable turns (particularly the 'twist' ending) and a story that (despite other reviewers - probably much younger than myself - claiming otherwise)is hardly original in concept leaves us with a finished product which whilst not being 'bad' simply does not rise above the dross that makes up the vast majority of this genre. for this we have to blame director and co-writer James Wong along with his writing cohorts Glen Morgan and Jeffrey Reddick. The overuse of foreshadowing along with too many visual references - '180' pops up again and again which would be fine if the film were released under the working title of Flight 180 - in-jokes like naming characters after famous horror stars and directors; and an obsession with people sitting on toilet seats all indicate the fun the makers were having. All of which simply detracts from the point of the exercise. Background music courtesy of Adam Hamilton and Shirley Walker could best be described as a cross between forgettable and bland but fortunately remains firmly in the background.
The estimated budget for this film was $23 million, most of which, judging by the credits, went on special effects which were actually fairly impressive. Unfortunately special effects alone seldom make great movies.
Up to this time, this film has spawned three sequels and a prequel. It is to be hoped by this reviewer at least, that they are improvements on the original...
The Hot Potato
(2012)
Winstone's Whimsy
22 June 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Oi - 'andsome. Check this out...
Writer/director Tim Lewiston gives us a throwback to the sixties both in period and style.
Kenny (Ray Winstone) and Danny (Jack Huston), scrap metal merchants in London's East End have illicitly come into possession of a piece of uranium - the 'Hot Potato' of the title, so-called both for its likeness to a potato and its deadliness. Once they realise what it is and what it's worth, they call in outside help to find a buyer.
With the involvement of Harry (Colm Meaney) a goodhearted heavy who works for Bill (John Lynch) and Ben, two Irish brothers running the local gang, our two heroes, along with Danny's girlfriend Carole (Lois Winstone) soon find themselves embroiled in double-dealing with various characters as they criss-cross Europe.
Along for the ride are Fritz (Derren Nesbitt), the duplicitous German, his equally duplicitous cohort Koppel (Jean-Louis Sbille), Harrison (David Harewood) a sinister American claiming to be in the CIA and Claudia (Maike Billits) the glamorous Italian intriguante. Meanwhile Kenny's wife Irene (Louise Redknapp) waits fretfully at home.
The Hot Potato rolls along quite nicely. With a scarcity of bad language and violence, some nice comedic touches and moments of tension keep us fairly absorbed. Ray Winstone shows a nicely understated side to his nature and is ably supported by a cast which, unlike a lot of modern British comedy films is not filled out with cameos from 'names'. Despite not being either hilariously funny or overtly dramatic both script and dialogue hold up well and it never overstays its welcome.
Writer/director Tim Lewiston gives us a throwback to the sixties both in period and style.
Kenny (Ray Winstone) and Danny (Jack Huston), scrap metal merchants in London's East End have illicitly come into possession of a piece of uranium - the 'Hot Potato' of the title, so-called both for its likeness to a potato and its deadliness. Once they realise what it is and what it's worth, they call in outside help to find a buyer.
With the involvement of Harry (Colm Meaney) a goodhearted heavy who works for Bill (John Lynch) and Ben, two Irish brothers running the local gang, our two heroes, along with Danny's girlfriend Carole (Lois Winstone) soon find themselves embroiled in double-dealing with various characters as they criss-cross Europe.
Along for the ride are Fritz (Derren Nesbitt), the duplicitous German, his equally duplicitous cohort Koppel (Jean-Louis Sbille), Harrison (David Harewood) a sinister American claiming to be in the CIA and Claudia (Maike Billits) the glamorous Italian intriguante. Meanwhile Kenny's wife Irene (Louise Redknapp) waits fretfully at home.
The Hot Potato rolls along quite nicely. With a scarcity of bad language and violence, some nice comedic touches and moments of tension keep us fairly absorbed. Ray Winstone shows a nicely understated side to his nature and is ably supported by a cast which, unlike a lot of modern British comedy films is not filled out with cameos from 'names'. Despite not being either hilariously funny or overtly dramatic both script and dialogue hold up well and it never overstays its welcome.
Saw
(2004)
Are you quite Saw?
21 June 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Whenever I write a review my conscience tells me to think of all the talented people who put so much time and effort into their project. "Be fair" I hear it say. On the other hand, thinking of the readers of these reviews, there are times when a dose of brutal honesty is the only option.
Director James Wan and actor Leigh Wannell co-wrote Saw, therefore they have to accept the burden of culpability for what I can only describe as one of the worst films I have ever seen. This is quite remarkable considering that the opening denouement promises so much as we find Mr Wannell waking up to a living nightmare. He and fellow actor Cary Elwes find themselves chained by the ankles on either side of what can only be described as the bathroom from Hell with what is presumably a dead body between them. The only clean object is a clock on the wall. Ticking. We look forward to a psychological drama...
...what we get instead is a convoluted story centred on a character known as Jigsaw, a sadistic evildoer who gives his victims the chance of life if they are willing to sacrifice others. This is explained to us via flashbacks... lots of flashbacks. This gives us the opportunity to see Ken Leung as Detective Sing and his partner Danny Glover as Detective Tapp in a double act straight from the Lethal Weapon school of acting - which is actually remarkably good compared with our two leads trapped in the bathroom who are gradually running through every emotional gamut in an effort to convince us of... What? Well, this is where the problem lies. We have spent one fifth of the running time trying to establish characters, plot, development, direction. We have nothing. Mr Elwes, playing the part of a surgeon and Mr Wannell as a down-at-heel photographer have both tried tension-breaking comedic, breaking-down emotional and shouty. We shall leave them for a while as they bond, fall out, solve clues, fail miserably to escape before their deadline etc. Meanwhile we can continue with the flashbacks and find out just how easy it is for our two inept detectives to bond, solve clues and go after the homicidal maniac all on their own...
Oh by the way, did I mention Zep, the rather sinister hospital orderly, or John, Dr. Gordon's patient with an inoperable frontal lobe tumour. How about the good doctor's wife Alison and daughter Diana? Well they all pop up in the inevitable flashbacks. Eventually everybody, doctor,wife, daughter, policeman who is still alive, photographer, patient, extremely patient reviewer get together in a Grand Guignol finish... Oh sorry - you want me to save one-hundred minutes of your life? Here goes. Doctor has to kill photographer by six o'clock in order to save his wife and daughter who are being held by orderly who has been poisoned by maniac who will only give him antidote if he kills doctor's wife and daughter. Detective, who went insane after maniac killed his partner, is paying photographer to follow doctor who he thinks is maniac. Orderly fails to follow through due to not tying doctor's wife properly, detective arrives, fights orderly, speeded-up car chase a la Keystone Kops - no idea why. Both end up in the sewers, detective dies. Doctor loses concentration, realises it is now gone six. saws through his own ankle, shoots photographer but fails to kill him. Drags himself out of bathroom. Reviewer loses concentration. What we thought was a dead body in the bathroom turns out to be patient John aka Jigsaw who gets up and kindly tells photographer that key to padlock is in bath - same bath that photographer emptied of water at beginning of film thus leaving him trapped there. John/Jigsaw leaves.
To sum up: a film with sadistic overtones, poor acting, what we can only presume to be an unfinished script, ludicrous plot and loose ends inevitably leading to sequels which, fortunately for all of us I shall not be either viewing or reviewing.
Whilst IMDb offer no clues as to the ages of reviewers I feel fairly confident in declaring that most of the people who give this film a vote of seven or more would be below thirty. It would be interesting to see what would happen if they all came back in twenty years and revised their votes...
Director James Wan and actor Leigh Wannell co-wrote Saw, therefore they have to accept the burden of culpability for what I can only describe as one of the worst films I have ever seen. This is quite remarkable considering that the opening denouement promises so much as we find Mr Wannell waking up to a living nightmare. He and fellow actor Cary Elwes find themselves chained by the ankles on either side of what can only be described as the bathroom from Hell with what is presumably a dead body between them. The only clean object is a clock on the wall. Ticking. We look forward to a psychological drama...
...what we get instead is a convoluted story centred on a character known as Jigsaw, a sadistic evildoer who gives his victims the chance of life if they are willing to sacrifice others. This is explained to us via flashbacks... lots of flashbacks. This gives us the opportunity to see Ken Leung as Detective Sing and his partner Danny Glover as Detective Tapp in a double act straight from the Lethal Weapon school of acting - which is actually remarkably good compared with our two leads trapped in the bathroom who are gradually running through every emotional gamut in an effort to convince us of... What? Well, this is where the problem lies. We have spent one fifth of the running time trying to establish characters, plot, development, direction. We have nothing. Mr Elwes, playing the part of a surgeon and Mr Wannell as a down-at-heel photographer have both tried tension-breaking comedic, breaking-down emotional and shouty. We shall leave them for a while as they bond, fall out, solve clues, fail miserably to escape before their deadline etc. Meanwhile we can continue with the flashbacks and find out just how easy it is for our two inept detectives to bond, solve clues and go after the homicidal maniac all on their own...
Oh by the way, did I mention Zep, the rather sinister hospital orderly, or John, Dr. Gordon's patient with an inoperable frontal lobe tumour. How about the good doctor's wife Alison and daughter Diana? Well they all pop up in the inevitable flashbacks. Eventually everybody, doctor,wife, daughter, policeman who is still alive, photographer, patient, extremely patient reviewer get together in a Grand Guignol finish... Oh sorry - you want me to save one-hundred minutes of your life? Here goes. Doctor has to kill photographer by six o'clock in order to save his wife and daughter who are being held by orderly who has been poisoned by maniac who will only give him antidote if he kills doctor's wife and daughter. Detective, who went insane after maniac killed his partner, is paying photographer to follow doctor who he thinks is maniac. Orderly fails to follow through due to not tying doctor's wife properly, detective arrives, fights orderly, speeded-up car chase a la Keystone Kops - no idea why. Both end up in the sewers, detective dies. Doctor loses concentration, realises it is now gone six. saws through his own ankle, shoots photographer but fails to kill him. Drags himself out of bathroom. Reviewer loses concentration. What we thought was a dead body in the bathroom turns out to be patient John aka Jigsaw who gets up and kindly tells photographer that key to padlock is in bath - same bath that photographer emptied of water at beginning of film thus leaving him trapped there. John/Jigsaw leaves.
To sum up: a film with sadistic overtones, poor acting, what we can only presume to be an unfinished script, ludicrous plot and loose ends inevitably leading to sequels which, fortunately for all of us I shall not be either viewing or reviewing.
Whilst IMDb offer no clues as to the ages of reviewers I feel fairly confident in declaring that most of the people who give this film a vote of seven or more would be below thirty. It would be interesting to see what would happen if they all came back in twenty years and revised their votes...
The Giant Gila Monster
(1959)
Texan Take on Monster Movie
26 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
We should never be surprised by the divisiveness produced by cinematography. Films that are lovingly reviewed by some can produce the most vitriolic emotions in others. Occasionally though, we come across films like The Giant Gila Monster which manage to unite the majority of critics in believing that we are enjoying a guilty pleasure.
Released in 1959, this Texan attempt at combining monster mayhem with hot-rodding kids manages to entertain us for a not overlong hour and a quarter despite the obvious shortcomings. The plot quite simply, has a giant lizard terrorising a small Texan community. A collection of stock characters include our hot-rodding hero, his crippled young sister, the old-time sheriff, the grumpy old town big-shot and a comic drunk, not forgetting our leviathan lizard.
Fred Graham playing Sheriff Jeff and Shug Fisher taking the comical role of Old Man Harris would seem to be the only two members of the cast who had established Hollywood careers. Bob Thompson plays Mr. Wheeler the crotchety old man who has an epiphany by the end of the film. The young hero is played by Don Sullivan who also manages to perform three songs of his own composition including the utterly dire Mushroom Song. Ken Knox turns up aptly playing a disc jockey which he was in real life, working for KLIF, the station owned by producer Gordon McLendon. The female roles are particularly weak, verging on peripheral. Our monster is actually played by a real lizard (or two!) being filmed roaming around various model sets. Surprisingly, despite never seeing monster and humans together, this works rather well when bearing in mind budgetary constraints.
Other than obvious major and minor plot holes - the implausible reasoning behind the appearance of a giant Gila monster; a garage owner storing enough nitroglycerine to destroy a town - there would also seem to be a technical problem concerning the lighting which at times makes it difficult to know whether certain scenes are supposed to represent day or night. Background music by Jack Marshall is suitably eerie, particularly the use of the theremin with each appearance of the monster. Director Ray Kellogg does the best he can with an estimated $138,000, equivalent to just over $1,000,000 today and there is some good location shooting in Cielo. Despite a deep moralising tone and a rather mundane script the film seems to hold together fairly well. All in all, we end up with something which is cheap yet most definitely not nasty, almost lethargic yet strangely compelling.
Released in 1959, this Texan attempt at combining monster mayhem with hot-rodding kids manages to entertain us for a not overlong hour and a quarter despite the obvious shortcomings. The plot quite simply, has a giant lizard terrorising a small Texan community. A collection of stock characters include our hot-rodding hero, his crippled young sister, the old-time sheriff, the grumpy old town big-shot and a comic drunk, not forgetting our leviathan lizard.
Fred Graham playing Sheriff Jeff and Shug Fisher taking the comical role of Old Man Harris would seem to be the only two members of the cast who had established Hollywood careers. Bob Thompson plays Mr. Wheeler the crotchety old man who has an epiphany by the end of the film. The young hero is played by Don Sullivan who also manages to perform three songs of his own composition including the utterly dire Mushroom Song. Ken Knox turns up aptly playing a disc jockey which he was in real life, working for KLIF, the station owned by producer Gordon McLendon. The female roles are particularly weak, verging on peripheral. Our monster is actually played by a real lizard (or two!) being filmed roaming around various model sets. Surprisingly, despite never seeing monster and humans together, this works rather well when bearing in mind budgetary constraints.
Other than obvious major and minor plot holes - the implausible reasoning behind the appearance of a giant Gila monster; a garage owner storing enough nitroglycerine to destroy a town - there would also seem to be a technical problem concerning the lighting which at times makes it difficult to know whether certain scenes are supposed to represent day or night. Background music by Jack Marshall is suitably eerie, particularly the use of the theremin with each appearance of the monster. Director Ray Kellogg does the best he can with an estimated $138,000, equivalent to just over $1,000,000 today and there is some good location shooting in Cielo. Despite a deep moralising tone and a rather mundane script the film seems to hold together fairly well. All in all, we end up with something which is cheap yet most definitely not nasty, almost lethargic yet strangely compelling.
Revolt of the Zombies
(1936)
The Eyes Have It
18 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
In cinematic language 'sequel to' and 'follows' are frequently very loose - often ambiguous - terms. This is the case with Revolt of the Zombies which supposedly 'follows' the far superior 'White Zombie' of 1932. The tenuous connections in this case are that both films were made by the Halperin Brothers and both feature zombies. An even more tenuous connection is that the great Bela Lugosi starred in the first film whilst here only his eyes intermittently appear on screen as the zombies of the title are created.
The gist of the story is that a Cambodian priest has the power to turn men into zombies, aptly demonstrated at the beginning by having them battle against the enemy in the First World War. Unfortunately the allied commanders are so appalled by the threat of zombies taking over the world that when he refuses to reveal his secrets they imprison him. After his murder an expedition is launched to Cambodia in order to find and destroy the means of zombification.
The plot becomes more complicated with the development of a love triangle between our three main protagonists. Our hero Armand Lougue (Dean Jagger) is a man of honour and integrity, his brash friend Clifford Grayson (Robert Noland) has a philosophy of taking what he wants at any cost and their love interest Claire Duval (Dorothy Stone) is a manipulative two-timer quite willing to play both men off against each other.
Our hero and heroine become engaged only for her to break it off citing her love for his friend. Disillusioned, he embarks on a lone but successful crusade to find the secret. As the story develops his metamorphosis into a madman intent on ruling the world with a zombie army is matched by the change in both his friend and the heroine who sacrifice their mutual love in order to ensure each others' survival.
Amazingly, this is all packed into slightly over one hour - and this would seem to be where the problem lies. The short running length does not justify the complicated plot structures nor does it give time for proper character development. Other cast members, despite their importance to plot, seem to be peripheral - Roy D'Arcy for instance as the villainous Mazovia. Whilst Dean Jagger had a long Hollywood history, Claire Duval appeared in only six productions and this was Robert Noland's only film appearance. Stock footage and some rather shoddy sets along with rather inapt musical accompaniment certainly do not help. Despite this there are good moments to be had although anybody expecting a classic zombie film will feel disappointed which probably goes some way to explaining the low overall vote.
Other than some rather old-fashioned - almost as if it were a silent film - acting, I, like other reviewers noted that there seemed to be some editing issues where scenes were cut almost before completion. Whilst there is no production information available it is possible that the original version of this film was cut down for some reason prior to release. We can but wait in expectation and hope...
The gist of the story is that a Cambodian priest has the power to turn men into zombies, aptly demonstrated at the beginning by having them battle against the enemy in the First World War. Unfortunately the allied commanders are so appalled by the threat of zombies taking over the world that when he refuses to reveal his secrets they imprison him. After his murder an expedition is launched to Cambodia in order to find and destroy the means of zombification.
The plot becomes more complicated with the development of a love triangle between our three main protagonists. Our hero Armand Lougue (Dean Jagger) is a man of honour and integrity, his brash friend Clifford Grayson (Robert Noland) has a philosophy of taking what he wants at any cost and their love interest Claire Duval (Dorothy Stone) is a manipulative two-timer quite willing to play both men off against each other.
Our hero and heroine become engaged only for her to break it off citing her love for his friend. Disillusioned, he embarks on a lone but successful crusade to find the secret. As the story develops his metamorphosis into a madman intent on ruling the world with a zombie army is matched by the change in both his friend and the heroine who sacrifice their mutual love in order to ensure each others' survival.
Amazingly, this is all packed into slightly over one hour - and this would seem to be where the problem lies. The short running length does not justify the complicated plot structures nor does it give time for proper character development. Other cast members, despite their importance to plot, seem to be peripheral - Roy D'Arcy for instance as the villainous Mazovia. Whilst Dean Jagger had a long Hollywood history, Claire Duval appeared in only six productions and this was Robert Noland's only film appearance. Stock footage and some rather shoddy sets along with rather inapt musical accompaniment certainly do not help. Despite this there are good moments to be had although anybody expecting a classic zombie film will feel disappointed which probably goes some way to explaining the low overall vote.
Other than some rather old-fashioned - almost as if it were a silent film - acting, I, like other reviewers noted that there seemed to be some editing issues where scenes were cut almost before completion. Whilst there is no production information available it is possible that the original version of this film was cut down for some reason prior to release. We can but wait in expectation and hope...
Bride of Chucky
(1998)
Chucky's Chimeric Chuckles
9 February 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Normally by the time a franchise has reached the fourth instalment most people involved from the (paid) scriptwriters through to the (paying) public are beginning to lose heart. This is an excellent exception to that rule.
The premise of the film is that the soul of the late Charles Lee Ray is trapped inside Chucky the doll. Charles' former girlfriend Tiffany plans to retrieve the doll and by use of magic, bring it back to life. If only life (and death in this case) could be so simple! Once revived, Chucky would much rather occupy Mr Ray's body, which was buried with the amulet required to complete this transformation. By this time of course, due to the treacherous machinations of both Tiffany and Chucky, they are now both dolls. What follows is a road movie as the pair kill time and people whilst implicating two naïve star-struck lovers Jesse and Jade who finally piece together what is happening.
From the opening scene as corrupt cop Bailey makes his way through an evidence room to the Grand Guignol finale played out in a graveyard there are nods to various kindred films and characters from Michael Myers to The Exorcist, from Friday the 13th to Pinhead, throwing in clips from 'Bride of Frankenstein' and 'Murder, She Wrote' and an hilarious reference to Martha Stewart.The entertainment value comes largely from the relationship between two deadly dolls, their snappy one-liners, love-hate relationship and competitiveness in murderous invention.
Director Ronny Yu and writer Don Mancini keep both action and dialogue pacey and ensure an excellent balance of comic moments and sanguinary shocks. At an hour and a half good editing ensures no outstaying of welcome and the accompanying music tracks from Rob Zombie, Slayer, et al is suitably heavy. Special and visual effects are extremely well done and almost seamless. Of the acting, most of the cast do what is necessary despite being upstaged by the deadly dolls. Special mention should go to Jennifer Tilly for her dangerously beguiling femme fatale.
Interestingly, with only minimal references to previous films in this series, it is quite possible to treat this as a stand-alone item and derive just as much entertainment value from it.
The premise of the film is that the soul of the late Charles Lee Ray is trapped inside Chucky the doll. Charles' former girlfriend Tiffany plans to retrieve the doll and by use of magic, bring it back to life. If only life (and death in this case) could be so simple! Once revived, Chucky would much rather occupy Mr Ray's body, which was buried with the amulet required to complete this transformation. By this time of course, due to the treacherous machinations of both Tiffany and Chucky, they are now both dolls. What follows is a road movie as the pair kill time and people whilst implicating two naïve star-struck lovers Jesse and Jade who finally piece together what is happening.
From the opening scene as corrupt cop Bailey makes his way through an evidence room to the Grand Guignol finale played out in a graveyard there are nods to various kindred films and characters from Michael Myers to The Exorcist, from Friday the 13th to Pinhead, throwing in clips from 'Bride of Frankenstein' and 'Murder, She Wrote' and an hilarious reference to Martha Stewart.The entertainment value comes largely from the relationship between two deadly dolls, their snappy one-liners, love-hate relationship and competitiveness in murderous invention.
Director Ronny Yu and writer Don Mancini keep both action and dialogue pacey and ensure an excellent balance of comic moments and sanguinary shocks. At an hour and a half good editing ensures no outstaying of welcome and the accompanying music tracks from Rob Zombie, Slayer, et al is suitably heavy. Special and visual effects are extremely well done and almost seamless. Of the acting, most of the cast do what is necessary despite being upstaged by the deadly dolls. Special mention should go to Jennifer Tilly for her dangerously beguiling femme fatale.
Interestingly, with only minimal references to previous films in this series, it is quite possible to treat this as a stand-alone item and derive just as much entertainment value from it.
Maniac Cop
(1988)
Mixed-up Mania
8 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Director William Lustig and writer Larry Cohen bring us a vignette of cinematic magic, a slice of Hitchcockian horror, a piece of urban terror to match John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13... As the opening credits roll we see a policeman - or rather the body of a policeman, his head remaining out of shot. He is methodically preparing for duty, attaching his plastic name tag, 'Cordell', carefully placing bullets in the chamber of his gun, holstering the gun. We see the shield, the badge of authority, the symbol of Law and Order. New York's finest. The scene switches to a bar, late at night, a young girl finishing her shift. She walks down dark, dingy streets. Suddenly, from below ground level, her ankle is grabbed. Two men determined to steal her hard-earned money. They grab, she fights, kicks out, breaks free. She is running, dodging, hiding. They are close on her heels. Into the park and there is her saviour! We, the voyeurs know that it is Cordell. She runs to him, panic subsiding. The would-be robbers look on. Then, as she reaches him, looks up, explains, he reaches down to her, lifts her off her feet and... snaps her neck! Thus we have passed seven minutes and at this point the great Mr Griffith would have declared it a wrap and moved on to his next project. If only it were so. What follows is 80 minutes or so of bad acting and worse writing. We have a motley collection of stock characters - hero, heroine, old cop to help hero, stupid cop, district attorney. To add to the confusion we can throw in a female relative of Cordell and a doctor who obviously learnt his trade from Frankenstein movies (both utterly insane). Virtually all authoritarian characters have convinced themselves of the guilt of our hero which of course eventually signals their own deaths along with a few innocent bystanders. At least Cordell, our man-monster killer has some imagination as he seems intent on finding more and more bizarre ways to bump off people. Mind you, he does have the advantage of not having to attempt the risible dialogue. Any political or social sub-plots hinted at are drowned under the nonsensical drivel which passes for a story. Acting is strictly by numbers with some fairly famous names either chewing scenery or wondering what is going on. The entertainment value is provided by some fairly well-mounted murder scenes but little else to concern us. The final insult is reserved by the last scene which shows quite clearly that we should expect - if not look forward to - a sequel...
Remains
(II) (2011)
Fleshed-Out Flesh-Eater
8 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Ah the Zombie movie! To what do we compare thee? Why, to Mr Romero's masterpieces of course - which is why we end up on the path to disappointment... Bearing in mind that I am not a rabid (pardon the pun) fan of this particular genre, my review will necessarily be lacking somewhat in expertise. Nethertheless, I am prepared to pass judgement on the entertainment value of this recent filmic addition to the walking dead. After an apocalyptic nuclear accident has turned most of the World's population into flesh-eating zombies two survivors, Tom and Tori, involved in their own carnal machinations find themselves trapped in a Reno hotel, eventually joining forces with Jensen, an entertainer and Victor who only escapes from the clutches of the zombies by sacrificing somebody else. There follow a number of close calls before they find that other survivors are out there and manage to attract their attention. The cavalry turn out to be a mercenary army led by Ramsey with his daughter Cindy. Rather than being saviours, they turn out to be scavengers intent on collecting supplies and moving on. This leads to the inevitable clash which leaves both Jensen and Victor dead and Tom and Tori abandoned. But wait... our mercenaries have themselves been wiped out, Ramsey killed. Cindy returns on her own to effect a rescue much to the mistrust of Tori who is drifting away from Tom. Tori turns on both Tom and Cindy and attempts her own escape which of course is doomed to failure. we end with Tom and Cindy driving into the sunset and, preparing nicely for the sequel, Tori, now seemingly half-Zombie, half revenge seeking Human staring malevolently after them... All in all this is a fair effort entertainment-wise and at 88 minutes does not overstay its welcome. The acting is fine if hardly Oscar-nominated. The script - based on a graphic novel - seems fairly sensible and tight although lacking somewhat in character development and hardly cerebrally challenging. There are a few comic moments which are nicely and not overly done - it is always a fine balancing act when inserting amusement into horror. The Zombie make-up, at least to my novice eye, seemed well done and musical accompaniment was kept well to the background. There were holes in the script and some of the stunt and special effects work left a lot to be desired but overall this was quite an entertaining film and worth a watch whether you enjoy this genre or not.
The Company of Wolves
(1984)
Woefully Witless Werewolf Waste
20 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Neil Jordan co-wrote and directed this mishmash of a story within a story within a dream within... herein lies one of the major concerns. What exactly are we watching? Beginning with a young girl's nightmare we journey through various tenuously connected - if at all - stories, flashbacks and sub-plots. we enter a nightmare world which is seemingly unbound by anything as urbane as geographical or historical context; realism being usurped by surrealism.
Apropos of the general confusion Angela Lansbury's lilting accent seems to defy any attempt to pin it down to even a country let alone a particular district. Added to this is her propensity to chew the scenery in an attempt to play the doting grandma doling out words of wisdom to the strangely unlikeable heroine Rosaleen played by Sarah Patterson.
There seems to be little in the way of a structured plot although the general ideas seem to involve the killing of werewolves and a rather strange updating of Little Red Riding Hood. The confusion continues scenically, chronically and symbolically.Giant mushrooms, haunted forests, a Rolls Royce, eggs hatching to reveal...? Settings, along with special effects are at times almost comical, at others rather unsettling. With little in the way of light-heartedness (oh how I prayed for Brian Glover to wrestle a werewolf!) and underlying - although frequently surfacing - sexual references the whole becomes a dark dingy effort which, even at 95 minutes seems overlong.
As with other efforts by Mr Jordan I feel as though I have been invited to a private party where everybody else knows the in-jokes...
Apropos of the general confusion Angela Lansbury's lilting accent seems to defy any attempt to pin it down to even a country let alone a particular district. Added to this is her propensity to chew the scenery in an attempt to play the doting grandma doling out words of wisdom to the strangely unlikeable heroine Rosaleen played by Sarah Patterson.
There seems to be little in the way of a structured plot although the general ideas seem to involve the killing of werewolves and a rather strange updating of Little Red Riding Hood. The confusion continues scenically, chronically and symbolically.Giant mushrooms, haunted forests, a Rolls Royce, eggs hatching to reveal...? Settings, along with special effects are at times almost comical, at others rather unsettling. With little in the way of light-heartedness (oh how I prayed for Brian Glover to wrestle a werewolf!) and underlying - although frequently surfacing - sexual references the whole becomes a dark dingy effort which, even at 95 minutes seems overlong.
As with other efforts by Mr Jordan I feel as though I have been invited to a private party where everybody else knows the in-jokes...
Dreamcatcher
(2003)
Dreamcatcher Drops Plot
31 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Good novelists, regardless of how outlandish the subject matter, should have the ability to formulate settings, characters, plots and sub-plots in such a way as to compose coherent mental images for the reader. Stephen King generally succeeds in doing this with 'Dreamcatcher' an overlong (600 plus pages)amalgamation of science-fiction, fantasy and horror. The plot begins with four school friends and their involvement with a telepathic Down sufferer who seems to be capable of passing on his psychic abilities to them. In later years the four, now men on their annual hunting trip, find themselves deeply involved in an alien invasion. At this stage the plot strands involve both a physical chase and a cerebral dance as one of the aliens attempts to occupy both mind and body of one of the men. So far so good... The challenge for the film maker adapting a novel is to try to be as faithful to the original as possible within the constraints of budget. The cinemagoer, if having already read the novel should be willing to forgive minor plot and character changes. So far so good... Director Lawrence Kasdan and screenwriter William Goldman, given an estimated $68million to play with, carefully transposed the first third of the novel to the silver screen... and then decided to virtually abandon the whole enterprise in favour of a typical gung ho Hollywood chase film! Whilst there are still a few rather interesting scenes involving the telepathic battle between Jonesy and his alien nemesis, particularly those involving the library of the mind, these seem to be mere side issues rather than significant moments. The chase itself deviates wildly from the novel by the simple expedient of employing a character who should have been killed off earlier! The final indignity is reserved for the very end when any pretence to following Mr King's denouement is passed over in favour of giving full rein to the special effects department. Anybody who read the novel first will wonder what happened after the first third of what turns out to be a very turgid 136 minutes. Anybody who did not read the novel will be left at least slightly confused. Considering the amount of money, this whole project could have been so much better - it would surely have been better suited to a mini-series format. Messrs Kasdan and Goldman should apologise both to Stephen King and his fans
Let the Right One In
(2008)
A cinematic smörgåsbord
18 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
With a bleak imagery redolent of Bergman, Let the Right One In maintains Swedish Cinema's ability to capture the eye of the beholder.It is February, 1982 and we are in Blackeberg, a suburb of Stockholm, architecturally as cold as the perpetually white winter backdrop. What follows is a magnificent smörgåsbord of modernistic Gothic horror, black humour, murder most foul, vampirism, sexual uncertainty, revenge and love that is seemingly - and may well remain - unrequited. Knitting the whole thing together is a minimalist - yet far from superfluous - dialogue. Words and pictures dance together forming an almost chemical balance. Sweden's far from friendly neighbours are alluded to as if they, like vampires, may not exist; an almost Chaplinesque sequence captures our hero and his mother brushing their teeth in unison; a camera pans silently on a wooden table; and ultimately, kisses signifying love that is deep enough to kill for are exchanged in a most unusually unromantic way. Music, mostly of a classical bent, is comfortably unobtrusive. In almost two hours only one scene (that of 'Ginia and the cats) grated with me, the rest of the time, due to excellent editing, passing almost too fast. As other reviews detail the synopsis, I shall say nothing more than that this is an intelligent, superbly crafted horror movie which should be seen by anybody with a love of good film whatever the genre.
Bachelor Party Massacre
(2006 Video)
Cheap and (fairly) cheerful
1 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
A video bought in a pound shop (about a dollar fifty) should always be judged along the lines of "you get what you pay for" and so it proved with Bachelor Party Massacre. The title, along with the tag line "Pray You Are Not Invited!" were fair indications of the slasher genre within. The pre-credit sequence continued in this vein with the first of many victims meeting a predictably gory end at the hands of 'The Killer'. The setting, standing in for the old haunted house, is a large recently vacated roadside drinking establishment with multiple bars, floors and, as befits such filmic scenery, plenty of dark corridors and mysterious rooms. Our heroes and heroines consist of four young men on a bachelor party, the two 'exotic dancers' they have hired and, in a later development, the partners of two of the men. Whilst the plot is perfunctorily familiar, tension is dissipated by the overuse of humorous dialogue. There is a very thin line between injecting moments of humour into a horror film in order to break the tension and actually turning the film into a parody of itself. This film comes dangerously close to crossing that line. Special effects, presumably constrained by budget, are quite acceptable whilst not being exceptional and credit must go to the editor for keeping the whole project down to a Hitchcockian hour and a half. The overall impression was of a flawed but certainly professional offering which punches slightly above its weight. The questioning of Bay Bruner's acting ability in other reviews may be fair although it would be difficult to come to such a conclusion based on one film . In her defence, I would say that the risible dialogue would probably have hindered her. There were certainly moments when the camera caught her in such a way as to make her by far the most interesting character.
What Ever Happened to Alice
(2003)
Confusing confessional tale
21 April 2012
Interesting that the previous two reviews are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Goes to show that people's expectations can differ greatly. Linda Larson's multiple involvement as writer, producer, director and star may well have been slightly overambitious although her own role as Alice is certainly the meatiest - and most professionally acted part. Unfortunately the rest of the cast seem amateurish in comparison. The role of Rebecca(played by Nancy Lincors)for such a major part seems particularly weak, lacking the emotional commitment to engage our empathy. At times the dialogue becomes risible and the overuse of flashbacks confuses. Despite this,the coherent scenes produce a psychological drama whose violence is mostly sensory rather than seen. The overall product lacks the editorship required to make it anything more than a fair first attempt.Of the two previous reviewers,I sensed that the happier one was looking for a haunting ghostly tense tale. The other, if buying the same DVD as I did, would be disappointed as the cover illustration of an axe-wielding skeletal Alice certainly hinted at a more violent, gory and less voluble film.
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