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Reviews
House II: The Second Story (1987)
Don't take this one seriously or you'll never get out alive...
* MINOR SPOILERS FOLLOW *
Others have panned this one as "forced" and "stupid." I could not disagree more! I absolutely loathed the original 'House' movie, and found the second one to be a wonderful mix of Quality Silly and pretty decent storytelling.
Heck... Where else are you going to come across an electrician who keeps a sword in his tool kit, and is a cross-dimensional adventurer at heart, or someone wrestling with a baby pteranodon -- or 'pterodactyl' if you prefer -- for a crystal skull?
Sure, the film has its weak points. The ending could have been expanded on, perhaps even re-done, and I'll never stop wanting better FX. 'House II,' though, makes for a good watch, and I don't give a flying banana what the other 'critics' say about it.
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
The scariest part is that it made it out at all...
It has been at least fifteen years since I saw a movie so bad that I nearly walked out on it (I did, in fact, walk out on 'Short Circuit 2'). Disney's attempt to capitalize on a halfway-decent theme park ride with this bowser of a movie was nearly as bad.
I will admit, there were two things that I liked about it: First, the self-animated crystal ball, complete with its englobulated (oooh, new word!) gypsy-with-an-attitude. Second, watching Eddie Murphy get upstaged by the barbershop quartet of singing busts (one of which bore a suspiciously strong resemblance to Walt Disney himself).
Don't get me wrong: I like Eddie Murphy as an actor, generally. His first 'Doctor Dolittle' movie was pretty decent, even though he'll never be able to truly replace Rex Harrison. He also did pretty well in 'The Golden Child' and the first couple of 'Beverly Hills Cop' movies.
I really think, though, that he deserved better than this pale wraith of a flick. As far as 'Haunted Mansion' is concerned, I think I can safely say 'Bag it and tag it.'
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
What a treat!
Ok, I loved it, and I will freely admit to being biased! I grew up with the original Looney Tunes series (my favorites being Wile E. Coyote and the RoadRunner -- God bless you, Chuck Jones, wherever you are!)
Joe Alaskey did the best job I've heard since Mel Blanc of handling the leading character voices, and it was a joy to see June Foray (think Rocky the Flying Squirrel) among the voice credits as well. Even Brendan Fraser was tolerable, and I don't normally care for him as an actor.
The only thing I didn't like was that the pacing seemed a bit rough. I'm not sure what to attribute that to, but I hope that Joe Dante and Warner will be willing to try again with another mixed bag further down the road (just, please, not another 'Space Jam.' The first one was bad enough for a lifetime!)
Dinotopia (2002)
Lord, what a travesty...
Seems like I'm one of the few that liked the miniseries better than the actual TV series...
Gripe One: Complete change of cast for the main (human) characters. BAD idea! The original actors showed enough potential in the miniseries that I would have liked to see them grow into their roles.
Gripe Two: Only minimal tie-in with, or continuation of, the story put forth in the miniseries.
Gripe Three: The replacement "actors" couldn't act to save their own lives.
Gripe Four: The writing stank.
I think it would have been a much more interesting story if the island's location had been revealed somehow (perhaps by the ELT -- Emergency Locator Transmitter -- in the plane going off), and the lead characters had to -- somehow -- convince whoever came tracking the thing not to expose the place to the world. Granted, you could only do that in one or two episodes, but I still would have liked to have seen it.
Sorry, gang. I have to give this one two thumbs down, and breathe a sigh of relief that it was put out of its misery after, what, about six episodes?
Dragonheart: A New Beginning (1999)
Hah! Great flick, funny stuff, DON'T take it seriously!
I don't care what anyone else says, I loved this one and so did my life-mate! I think it a fitting tribute to the original (even if the CGI wasn't quite as good). Be prepared for some good humor, big splashy fight scenes, and an overall (very welcome) light-hearted tone that never got fully developed in the original.
The only way I see it could have been improved is if Drake were to encounter an equally young female dragon. Hoo, boy, talk about your first date...!